With an oh, no you don't, I pried open the subway door milliseconds before its shark-like jaws closed for good.
You're not going anywhere, buster!
I really needed some answers!
Don't be afraid to follow your heart, the man had said.
Was it a coincidence? Naw. It can't have been.
What had he meant by that?
Was this one of those when the Universe speaks, you shut up and listen serendipitous moments?
I itched to find out as I ascended the Stairway to Heaven, or, at least the stairway to the surface. Hot on the heels of my guy prey, I skipped every other step in my tattered red Converse.
With the nimble gait of a long-time commuter, I slalomed my way through the forest of Bostonians. My eyes were trained on the light-toned, almost translucent shirt Train Jesus was wearing.
As I leapt over the final step with a triumphant smile, sunlight pierced my eyes, forcing me to close them.
Once it was safe enough to lower them, I found myself on a near-deserted section of street with a few Bostonites busily going nowhere. But Train Jesus was nowhere to be found.
I fought off an impulse to fall on my knees and curse the heavens.
"Humidity is rising." A weary, wheezy voice whispered somewhere to my right.
"Barometer's getting low!" My mind replied, tap-dancing to the imagined tune.
Someone knew just the thing to cheer me up!
I glanced towards my unexpected song association game partner.
His wrinkly visage, gaunt expression, and strands of grey hair came right out of a fancy old silver-screen movie.
The elderly gentleman, surrounded by an assortment of umbrellas of all shapes and sizes, was a sweet gray-scale day in an exuberant splash of color on this sunny morning.
"According to all sources, the street is the place to go." The Raining Man whistled the next verse, chuckled good-naturedly, and motioned upwards.
"I wasn't actually looking for raining men, Mister. I was following Jesus, though. And I've lost the dude. Have you seen him?"
"You lost... Jesus, my child?" His eyebrows formed a question mark. "Fear not. We sometimes stray away from the path of faith, yet sooner or later... We shall be praising God for joy and abundant love, and his steadfast presence in sorrow, despair, and fear. Like any journey, the road is difficult to predict. As to your query, I have seen him, indeed. He is in all the beings that surround us..."
"No, I meant... There was a man, you see. He... He kind of looked like... No, scratch that. I'm pretty sure I'm late for work." I rolled my eyes.
"Yet perhaps, you are right where you need to be." He motioned at his goods.
"Umm... Please don't get offended. I adore your stand! But I... I'm really not an umbrella person. Except for the ones in cocktails. If only it'd rain wine... We would not need umbrellas. I am not much into accessories, you see. Necklaces, wristwatches, handbags, umbrellas... Any kind of jewelry, really. I find them a burden."
"A burden?" He offered me a small smile. "Au contraire, mademoiselle. They can be a reassurance. Imagine, for instance, that it starts to rain. You don't have an umbrella. You know you will get wet. An umbrella trumps that fear. It offers protection, subtle encouragement, and a loving embrace. A warm smile. A shelter from the cold, unfriendly droplets."
I was sold.
Jayden might like my decision too. I could hear his voice in my head saying "Why would you do that, Iris? Why carry stuff in your magical pockets, as you call them, when you can simply buy a handbag? Money is not the problem. I know it's not." He had lost back then since I didn't buy the handbag, but right about now, just by being in my head, he was quite close to winning this!
"I guess you have a point. I'm buying one! I did have one in February but... Umm... That one is completely dismantled now."
"Was it a rainbow umbrella?" Raining Man said, with a dreamy look upon his face.
"It... It was. How did you know?"
Did the White Shirt guide me all the way up here just to talk to the Raining Man?
"You look like someone who could be found in a company of a rainbow umbrella. Eight perfect panels, including the white one. Your aura... unlike the aura of any other customer I've had so far, has an internal rainbow, too. You seem to have found the way to keep a drop of your child-self alive. It shines through whenever you smile. Like now, for example." The old man's marsh-green eyes gleamed in the sunlight. "It may rain at any moment. Life does surprise us with its twists and turns. So, what'll it be? Which one, pray tell, is yours?" He nodded to the colorful heap of his wares. "I wonder..."
There were dozens of umbrellas, most of them open, like peacocks boasting with their plumage. Large and small, expensive-looking with ornate handles; plastic handle cheap-oes.
Here I stood, Iris in Umbrellaland, face to face with my oldest nemesis.
Buying something I did not immediately need. Saving it for later. It was so not me, but on the other hand... I thought it was a prudent thing to do.
Just like when Harry Potter was choosing a wand in Ollivanders,' I had to choose the right head protector for me.
It wasn't merely about finding an umbrella. I was supposed to find the umbrella, the one that said something about me.
The first one that caught my eye sported a huge hand. One of its fingers was pointing toward the sky in sheer defiance. It said something along the lines of Iris, do let the sky know how you feel when it's raining.
"Not really you?" The Raining Man whispered as if he knew.
I shook my head, "no", and frowned at the sight of the second umbrella. It was toddler-sized, but toddlers weren't known for handling umbrellas.
"Dogbrella," explained the peddler. "It will form a waterproof cocoon around your small dog. Enabling the canine, and you, its master, to maintain a walking regimen in inclement weather."
Le sigh. Unfortunately, Jayden had always been against us adopting a canine. A comic-bubble image of a cute corgi pitter-pattering around with his brand-new dogbrella did a "poof" and disappeared from my mind.
That's not happening any time soon, sadly...
I pondered for a long time before the next one. It was ginormous, with a costly looking black fabric and a huge curved handle.
This umbrella said something along the lines: I am very sensitive, very caring. Its size did feel cozy and welcoming and the only minus I could think of was: "under something so large, what would be my excuse to cuddle up to Jay-Jay?"
"Ah. A Dualbrella. Quite the novelty, that. An umbrella built for two, following suit of a bicycle built for two. It would, of course, serve you well. Yet it would not be meant for you, and you only."
A thought of a black umbrella peppered with yellow smilies crossed my mind, and I spoke up, describing it to the Raining Man. Perhaps, he had the exact same model.
Even if I might not end up buying it, I wanted to see Mr. Ruffles' choice from up close.
To my disappointment, the street vendor informed me he didn't have it.
"Yet as in all things in life, in umbrella purchasing as well, you are to be prudent. You should take the umbrella you can get. The accessible one. Not the one you dream of. It may rain at any moment." The Raining Man glanced up in the sky.
My left pocket vibrated, and I lifted my hand as in an apology. Someone must have texted me.
"Hey there, sexy. Looking forward to seeing that cute little ass of yours tonight and you know it."
Jay-Jay.
Always there for me. Always one text away.
Always accessible.
The peddler was right.
Train Jesus was wrong.
My Main Man was the one I could get.
My Train Man... was just a silly fantasy.
I should just buy an available umbrella and forget about my crazy dreams.
My gaze roamed the umbrella stand once again.
Then I saw it, and my jaw dropped.
That slightly tattered, jungle-green umbrella was all I ever wanted, all I ever needed.
Depeche Mode. Preach it.
The plastic cup attached to its handle stared back at me and plainly stated: "I free up one of your hands during your morning pilgrimage with your coffee."
"Ahh, a wise choice. That, my darling, is a cup-holder umbrella. Allow me to demonstrate." The Raining Man relieved me of my half-empty cuppa and deposited it in the comfy plastic cupseat. "No more ruined passengers t-shirts, no more burnt hands."
"I'm taking it!" I exclaimed. "It was so meant for me!"
"It was." The peddler nodded wisely. "You see, all objects give away hints about their owners. Our accessories tell a story about us. And sometimes it is what we truly wish to do. We want to tell a story. To build a bridge between the 'I' and the 'otherness." Storytelling is what truly connects people. The little details we give away about our persona to others, through the objects we peruse. Those details bind those around us, and keep them coming back for more."
That's right! Storytelling!
A shop-saving idea formed in my head as I nodded, more than satisfied with the purchase.
What was there not to be satisfied about?
You come for an object; you leave... with a bout of free life wisdom.
My hand curled around the huge handle that once might have been a part of any old fence post, for all I knew.
When I clicked the testing-testing-one-two-three button on my brand new accessory, the jungle-green plastic canopy stretched above me like a blossom in a rainforest.
"Humidity is rising," I heard the Raining Man whisper the initiation code to yet another unsuspecting future customer.
I smiled.
Humidity might have been rising, but I had my Jay-Jay to keep me warm, protected and dry.
Or... hot and wet, when the need be?
Mr. Ruffles Bunny was but a shadow and a thought in my mind; an umbrella that was not for sale. He'd soon become the thing of my past.