'I can't tell you how proud I am.' Luke walks over to me after my graduation, his arms wide open. This should've been my father's moment. Seems like he didn't came.
'I'm glad you came,' I admit and we hug for a moment while Lorelai takes pictures of us. She wants memories of every part, so it seems.
'Congratulations Madelaine,' Emily Gilmore walks over to me with a bright smile, followed by her granddaughter Rory. I have met her a few times before, never liked that woman but she is rich and has power.
'Thank you Mrs Gilmore,' I answer and both Luke and I leave the crowd to find a more quiet place. Everyone seems too excited to notice us either way. Together we walk to the gates of the school, ready to leave this place forever. I do have some good memories though.
I remember the first time I walked in here, four years ago. I didn't know anyone and was relieved the moment I had noticed Rory. Tristan became my friend easily.
My first day, when another boy made a rude comment about my hair, he had pushed him in the water fountain. I smile at that thought, wondering what would've happened with him.
Luke holds still at the gates and turns around to the building, I do the same, trying to remember it all.
'He didn't came. My father, I mean,' I say when I see Louise hugging hers in the distance. It hurts, but not as much as it should hurt.
'Someone else did,' Luke sighs and I follow his gaze to the small park on the other side of the street. Jess sitting on a bench, watching us a little uncomfortable. 'You should talk to him,' I notice but Luke shakes his head, pushing me a little forward.
'I'll get my chance. He came to see you.'
'What?' I ask confused. 'He'll explain. He called me yesterday and even though we have to talk about a lot, you two should talk first,' he whispers and leaves me behind after another short hug. A little stunned I walk towards Jess, not even a smile on his face. I haven't seen him this serious since the hospital.
When I approach him he stands up and stretches his arms out, ready to take my hands. A little relief in his beautiful eyes the moment I take them.
'Congratulations,' he mumbles, a playful smile on his face and I hug him. Glad to see him again.
'Only been a week apart and I missed you,' he adds and lays his head in my neck. I could stand here forever. When we release each other he tries to kiss me, but I step a little backwards, needing his explanation.
'I'm glad you came, honestly. But I don't understand ...'
'It's a long story,' he sighs and gestures towards the bench he sat on earlier. I follow his lead when he sits down and watches me as if I'm a piece of glass. Fragile.
'I thought you were with your father,' I say and he nods a little, regret on his face and looks down at his legs. I can see something has happened.
'Jimmy wasn't that happy with me in California,' he says after a moment and focuses his eyes back on mine. I don't know what that means.
'Did you do something, or ...'
'I don't think,' he says quickly. 'He has a new family and a new daughter and clearly doesn't want me to be a part of that,' he adds soft. His voice breaks for a moment and I take his hand in mine.
'Of course he wants you in his life,' I try but he shakes his head again, almost laughing about that. 'He told me he doesn't want that and honestly, I can't blame him. Too much has happened. I've always been on my own.' Jess looks down at our hands, holding them tighter than before as if he has to hold on to something.
'You always have me,' I assure him. Jess looks up at me, nodding a little and leans closer to kiss me. This time I let him, not only he needs this, so did I. When our lips release each other he sits closer to me, trying to read my mind.
I know I have to tell him something. Tell him I have made a decision.
'Where are you going to live now?' I ask curious. He leans a little backwards, not sure what to tell me. I can see all the doubt. When he doesn't answer after a minute I force him to look at me, thinking about a possibility I have thought of yesterday. We have to do something.
'What do you think of New York?' I ask carefully and his eyes widen a little. I can't tell if he would laugh or cry.
'New York? You won't be there, I ...'
'I'm not going to university,' I interrupt him. He sits straight up in a second, but before he can answer I lay my hands around his head, needing him to listen.
'I'm taking a gap-year as Luke suggested. Jess, I need to take some time of and we have to figure out a lot. Our situations aren't normal, have you ever realized that?' His heavy breathing slows down a little and I release my hands, not wanting to make him mad.
'We can go back to New York, we can start over and find out who we want to become. I have enough money and I will take a job.' Every word comes out desperate, showing him how much I want this. After a moment he nods softly, hope in his eyes again.
'We will rent an apartment together,' I add and lean against him.
'You really want this?' He asks confused. I nod softly and kiss him after that, him grabbing me tighter around my waist. I have to be with him. It has always been him.
'Who do you want to become?' He asks the moment we walk out of the park, on our way back to Chilton. 'I haven't figured that out yet. I do know I want to mean something for someone,' I explain. He holds me around my back, tight against him.
'What about you?' I ask curious, knowing he has never mentioned that before. He laughs softly while we walk through the gates of my old school and points at a man who teaches here.
'You see him?' He asks softly. 'Of course.'
'That man has written a book about his first love. She was also his last love until this day. He promised her she would be the only one, and he succeeded,' he explains more passioned than I had ever heard. 'That is great ...' I answer unsure.
'I want to do that,' he turns to me and blocks my view of the man he has been talking about, his eyes narrowing mine. 'I want to write our story. That is all I want right now,' he whispers. I breathe in deep, realizing what he is telling me.
That man has written about the only love he has ever known, and so it would be for Jess. Maybe we are meant to be.
'I would love that,' I admit and both of us laugh. 'Are you ready to leave this place?' He asks mockingly and takes my hand when I look one last time at Chilton.
'We should go back home,' I tell him, knowing that for us, home meant each other at this moment. We would go back to New York, find out who we are.
No pressure, no time-limit, just the both of us. Together.