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kylo trained for a good 20 minutes until he suddenly felt a strong pull in the force.
it was you. it was definitely you. you had arrived onto the ship.
kylo could feel his palms start to sweat a bit and the room start to spin a little. he took in a few deep breathes and tried to focus back on his lightsaber that he was holding and training with.
"avoid and dont think, avoid and dont think" he whispered to himself as he started to resume swinging his saber around his body in a elegant and sophisticated manner.
his mind started to wonder and picture what you looked like as you got out of your ship. he thought about how you would react if the first thing you were greeted with was himself.
would it have been positive? or...or negative? "avoid and dont think, avoid and dont think!" he started repeating to himself once again- each time he chanted it, his voice got louder and louder until it was at a full blown scream. "gahhh!" he yelled as he rushed over towards a nearby wall in the training room.
"why" he sliced through a mirror, "cant" he sliced through a wall full of blasters, "you" he sliced through a couple of chairs and benches, "get" he cut down the middle of a punching bag, "out" kylo chucked the lightsaber across the room with all his might, "of" he walked to another wall, "my" he raised his fist, "head!" he seethed as he made an extremely large divet in it. he made multiple holes in the wall and didnt stop until a small amount of blood started forming on his knuckles. he wiped his hands on his pants and extended his arm, his lightsaber flying right into his hands within seconds.
he opened the door with the force before he gave one last look at the destructed room.
the 3rd one. this was the 3rd fucking training room he had destroyed since you left.
or was it the 4th?
"you." he called out to what appeared the be a janitor that was in the hall. they immediately jumped, but were quick to turn and face him.
"yes supreme leader?" they said with fear in their voice. kylo found a bit of amusement in this because he felt like he was in control yet again.
"clean it up." he pointed over to the room he just walked out of. the custodian nodded their head and walked straight into the room.
kylo started walking to his room in a hurry. he noticed that the bleeding on his hands had stopped without any medical attention, and he was glad. when kylos room came into sight, he let out a small breath of relief. just as he was about to turn the knob to allow himself to walk in, a very painful and large pang in his chest was felt.
it was so agonizing that it made it stumble a bit while he quickly walked into his room. he immediately made his way over to his bed, the pain in his chest still occuring.
"what in the galax- y/n." he said out loud as he mid-sentence figured it out.
almost instantly after he said your name, the pressure subsided and he stood back up. he knew that the force had just warned him that something was wrong with you, and he was going to find out exactly what it was.
he walked into his bathroom and looked at himself through the mirror. "all you will do is see what is going on, nothing more." he said to himself.
he washed his hands and grabbed his lightsaber. before he walked out the door though, he closed his eyes to connect himself with the force. right as he did so, he saw a door.
a door that led into a torture room.
now, these weren't interrogation rooms. they didnt have that piece of metal in the middle that people were strapped to...no. they were rooms that pretty much had nothing in them because their only purpose was to serve as a place the first order could bring people to make them suffer.
the second kylo saw it, he instantly knew what it was. he wasnt new to the route of the rooms, so he immediately dashed out. he knew that whatever situation you were in, it wasnt good. kylos anxieties started to rise and his dark thoughts started to consume him.
why would you be in these rooms?
they werent used frequently, and they definitely weren't used on first order people. many people around the ship knew who you were, and you were liked by many. maybe someone found out about your departure and didnt like it? no. they would have reported it to him first before doing anything. maybe it was hu-
"see what is going on, nothing more." he reminded himself as he cut his thoughts off.
when he made it to the hallway, he was instantly drawn to the second to last door. he took in a deep breath and tried to prepare for whatever the hell was on the other side. he knew that you would be in there since he was so quick to walk over to it, but he didnt know what was going to happen next. kylo stepped right infront of the door and he heard some commotion even from the outside. it sounded like some whimpers and screams, so he instantly used the force to whip open the door.
kylos eyes instinctively went wide as he recognized the back that was facing him.
so his faint speculation was true.
it was hux.
"what in the hell" kylo heard you say, even though it was barely over a whisper.
he couldnt see much since hux was almost completely blocking his view of you, but kylo caught a slight glimpse of your right arm- and it looked almost as if all the skin was sliced off.
this was enough to send kylo over the edge, and he instantly ignited his lightsaber and pierced it right through the redhead mans body.
he heard the general take in a deep breath before collapsing right onto you, leaving him to be able to get a full glimpse of you.
his breathing stopped and the galaxy did as well. you looked like...he couldnt even explain it. but, seeing you in this state brought him much pain and anger to say the least. he noticed that you didnt even realize that he was looking at you because you were just staring at huxs body in shock.
he snapped out of it when he heard you let out a scream from the pressure of the now dead mans body. kylo easily used the force to move hux to the side of the room. kylo saw that you were now moving your head up so that you would be able to look at him, and he quickly moved his gaze to the wall next to him.
kylo felt your eyes trying to find his, and he couldnt let them. he knew that he would fall for your...your spell that you subconsciously would put him under everytime you were in close proximity to him. but, he eventually gave him and let you consume him.
it almost felt like he was looking directly into your soul. he could sense the hurt, the betrayal, but also...he could sense the light- the beaming light that wasnt there before.
sure- you werent complete dark before you left, but you also werent filled with such light either. after everything that you endured under huxs torture- which was completely and utterly unnecessary in kylos opinion, you still had that glow within you.
the stare that was shared between the 2 of you was broken when he heard you try to form some words. he noticed that you werent able to do so, and that made his heart ache a little. he had to look away, or else you might have actually seen the way he reacted to you doing that...and he wouldn't allow that- not anymore.
before, he would let it happen. he was open with his emotions only with you, but he realized he couldnt do that anymore. it wasnt like that. you left him. you didnt want him. he didnt want you. y- stop it. no.
to relief kylo of his thoughts, he quickly came up with a plan. he decided to just unhook you from the chain you were on and leave. simple as that.
he followed through with the first part quite easily. but when you took in a worn out sounding breath, kylo couldnt seem to keep his eyes off of you. he observed you just sit there, thinking to yourself about force knows what. he knew better than to start reading your mind, so he decided to just look at you.
he knew that you were aware of his eyes on you, and he didnt care. the both of you stayed like that for a couple of minutes until kylo heard himself reminding him of his most recent plan.
"unhook from the chain, leave." he heard in his head.
kylo was stuck right in the middle. he knew that he couldnt just leave you, but he had to listen. he had already broke all of the previous things he told himself to do, so why not actually listen to this one?
without thinking about what he was doing, he dashed right out of the room with full speed. he eventually slowed down as he got closer and closer to the end of the hall, until he was just standing in his spot.
"im fucking dumb." he said out loud. he regretted leaving you there, that was a stupid move. he knew that if the situation were reversed, you would have helped him immediately. but, sadly it wasnt. it wasnt the other way around.
kylo dwelled on various things in that exact spot and position for a good 10 minutes. he hadnt realized just how much time had gone by, but it wasnt like he was in a rush to go anymore.
he suddenly felt something collide with his back, so he swiftly turned around.
his heart once again started to hurt as he looked down at your fragile body that was struggling to stay up. he saw that you were starting to fall back, so he reached his hands out and caught you easily.
when you looked up at him, your eyes changed from soft to...to cold.
there you were. that was the girl that he remembered.
he felt your weak hands push you off of him, and without thinking he pulled you back in.
"stop it." you almost whispered to him as you once again tried to go away from him.
"i am just trying to help-" he was cut off by you.
"oh right. because helping me means leaving me in that room...you are such a dumbass!" your voice becoming weaker and weaker.
hearing those words brought kylo irritation and also a bit of secret joy. he missed your spunky comments and attitude. he quickly decided to scoop you up because arguing wasnt going to get anybody anywhere in this situation. it was quite evident that you needed medical attention, and kylo knew that.
he started to walk with a fast yet steady pace. kylo heard you release a shaky breath as you stiffly laid in his arms,and he wished you werent as stiff- but more comfortable. he didnt want to go too fast because that might have added to your pain because of all the movement. so, doing it that way was the best one he could think of. he didnt want to hurt you at all- that was actually the last thing he wanted, even if he wouldnt say it.
when he continued to walk, he felt you start to relax and bit more- which made kylo a bit happier in a sense. not long after, he felt you nuzzle your head in the crook of his neck and your hands rested on his upper arms.
kylo felt a small smile appear on his face, but was quick to remove it. having you comfortable and this close to him brought back past memories that he didnt need, but he couldnt seem to stop thinking about.
he suddenly felt you shiver a little in your spot, and soon after, he felt a tear land right on his shoulder- where your head was resting on. he felt the liquid seep into each layer of clothing, and somehow finding its way onto his bare skin. he guessed that you had some type of bad memory appear in your head, and kylo knew all about that.
he found himself moving his arms around under you and soon enough, he was carefully rubbing your back with ease. he felt you calm down for a split second, but you then broke down into a complete sob.
your painful tears left a entire wet spot on his uniform, but he didnt seem to mind it. he was more focused on helping you because...well he didnt really know. it felt like an instinctive thing for him to do, and he couldnt go against instinct...right?
he continued rubbing your back, keeping the pattern and rhythm consistent because he knew speeding up may not have been the best thing to do. he felt himself calming down as your breathing started to even out and your body stopped shaking.
almost if on cue, the infirmary of the ship came into view and kylo immediately opened the doors up as he shifted his hands back to the original state they were in before he started to comfort you. not a single word had been spoken between the 2 of you the entire time, nor had you even lifted your head. but, kylo was perfectly okay with that.
"she needs your best doctors and nurses attention immediately. multiple deep cuts and bullet wounds all around." he said to the lady in the front.
"y...yes supreme leader." she stuttered as she leaned over the desk she was infront of, curious to see who kylo ren could have possibly been carrying. "oh..oh gosh y/n!" she spoke up as kylos eyebrows furrowed.
how had she known you? it wasnt like you had been previously hurt before or anything...
kylo decided to just ignore the womans comment for the time being and to go into a private medical room so that he would be able to lay you down. when he reached one, he didnt waste any time to set you down on the bed.
"sorry" he heard you say as he looked at your eyes. they were fixed on the clothing he was wearing, so he shifted his own down.
his entire upper body was almost completely drenched in your blood, and kylo didnt even realize until now. he didnt know that you lost that much, and he knew that it definitely was not a good amount at all.
before he could reply, you let out a scream and flinch that caused kylo to cringe when your body touched the bed. he must have accidentally touched something when setting you down, and he was disappointed with himself.
he heard some feet coming towards the door and he moved his head over.
"hello, my na-"
you cut them off by saying, "your name is kylie...i know. the pain- it hurts too much. please, load me up on every damn drug you got- anything to rid the pain."
hearing you say this caused kylo to frown internally. he knew you were suffering- it was obvious, but he didn't realize it was that much. he wished he could help you, but he couldnt.
he also was confused at your words. how did you know this woman? was she just simply someone you became friends with before? how did you know so many medically-trained people? it was starting to make kylo question some things, but he then saw the woman leave the room.
he decided to not freak out for the time being because he didnt know if she was going to come back with supplies- after all, she did first come empty handedly.
when she did return, she came back with just that. people, treatments, medications, all of it.
kylo remained in the back of the room silently, letting all of the people before him work. he saw a older woman tell you something as she poked you with something that was connected to a machine, kylo assuming it was so sort of iv- he wasnt really knowledgeable in the art of medicine, but he had been to the medbay a handful of times. this caused him to learn a thing or 2 because of it.
he saw you nod your head as tears once again appeared in your eyes. more people entered the room, and more people surrounded you. kylos view of you was decreasing within the second, but he knew he couldnt stop it because he needed them to help you. he saw your eyes starting to get heavy and you looked like you were about to pass out any minute.
before you did though, kylo gave you a small nod- trying to tell you that it was going to be just fine. right when he did though, a doctor covered you completely from kylo- so he decided it was an appropriate time to leave.
before he walked out though, he put into your mind- "it will be okay. it will be just fine."
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authors note
ahh!! this chapter was kylos pov of the situation, and i love doing chapters of the other person's perspective. these first couple chapters have definitely been long ones, and i hope you enjoyed. thank you so much for the support- i appreciate it so much <33
-i.t