I stopped going to school for a while. I begged my mom to let me stay home for a few weeks as I was too scared to see San again. I didn't want to have to face him after our last fight. My mom didn't hesitate to let me recover on my own terms. For the first few days, San tried visiting me at night, but I didn't open the door once. He kept blowing up my phone, but the messages slowly started to die down. I think he was finally understanding what I told him that day before he left. I was a manipulator just like all the men who had hurt me. I was no better than them. And San is a hopeful boy, clinging on to whoever gives him attention. I could see my former self in him.
Eventually, I mustered up the courage to go back. If I hadn't, who knows when I would be able to graduate. But, I didn't expect the school to be so calm without me. It was almost as if everyone was better off that way. When I walked into the bathroom, I noticed my name scribbled out. I wasn't as popular as I thought I was. Who knew 2 weeks was all it took to completely forget about me? As I walked out, a group of girls came up to me.
"Are you and Jin Ha sister wives or something?" one of them asked. I looked at her with confusion as they all laughed and walked away. I brushed off their words and I went the whole day living in silence. It was how my life was before I meant San and it was easier this way. By the looks of it, I thought my day would be completely normal. That is, until the end of the day when I saw a group of kids huddling in a circle. They were all riled up and I pushed my way to the front. When my eyes finally adjusted, I saw Seonghwa sitting on top of San, beating the absolute shit out of him. The day I returned, the world resumed its madness. Maybe I wouldn't be as easily forgettable as they wanted me to be. I saw Jin Ha running in, trying to break the two apart. Seonghwa immediately pushed her out the way, and a group of boys ran to save her. It was kind of funny seeing her tossed away like that.
"Aren't you going to do something?" some random kid asked me.
"Why don't you do something, idiot? Doesn't seem like my problem," I replied. I was tempted to walk away until I saw how bloodied San's face was becoming. I was cruel, but not that evil.
I quickly ripped off my backpack to swing at Seonghwa's head. He turned his head towards me, his eyes full of anger.
"Look who's finally back," he said while smirking. San looked up at me, his face almost unrecognizable now.
"What the fuck happened while I was gone?"
"Why don't you ask this little home wrecker here?" Seonghwa looked back down and was ready to throw another fist until I kicked him in the stomach. San finally had the chance to get away now. Jin Ha came running back, grabbing San's hand and dragging him away from the crowd.
"You're gone for two weeks and your little boyfriend already wants to cheat on you," Seonghwa said nonchalantly as if he wasn't just beating San up a few moments ago. The crowd was starting to disperse now that the fight was over. I sat down next to him and slapped him out of anger. All he did was smile back. Who knew he was sadistic and a masochist all in one?
"I'm going to need a lot more context, dick head," I spat.
"You went a full day without finding out?"
"Can you just be not annoying for once and tell me?"
"San and Jin Ha are the new hottest thing now apparently."
My eyes widened but I quickly tried to hide any emotion.
"I was about to ask Jin Ha out again but then she told me she's with someone. Once I found out it was that little prick, I couldn't handle it anymore. He's taking everything away from me." Seonghwa sounded hopeless.
"You can't just beat someone up because they're dating someone you broke up with, stupid," I scolded before slapping the back of his head.
"Aren't you even just a little upset?"
I didn't really want to give myself the chance to think about it. Out of all the girls, why did he have to pick her?
"I don't care."
"Wow, I totally miss you saying that," he mocked.
"Everything seemed so normal until I came back," I commented.
"Yeah, it was kind of boring to be honest."
"Good. I want people to notice when I'm gone."
"Well, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who appreciates the havoc you wreak. I mean, even when you do create chaos, at least you know how to control it." Seonghwa laughed. I smiled back.
"Enjoy it while it lasts."
"Why were you gone for so long, anyway?" he asked, changing the subject.
"I didn't feel like coming to school."
"Bullshit. You never like coming to school. If that were the case, you'd be gone this entire year."
"You don't need to know every detail of my life."
"You and San had another petty argument, huh?"
I raised my fist to swing and Seonghwa flinched. I brought my hand down since I was only teasing him.
"Guess we're divorced now." I laughed, bitterly. Seonghwa started smiling like a maniac.
"You're totally hurt, aren't you?" he asked with a little too much eagerness for my taste.
"No. I'm happy for them."
"Jin Ha is a good girlfriend, you know? You're never going to get San back."
"That's fine. I don't want him back."
Seonghwa started laughing, mockingly.
"Well either way, there's nothing we can do anymore. They're going to be the talk of the town for a long time." He sighed.
"Hey, at least this little fight might gain you a few seconds of publicity before you're completely forgotten," I teased. He did not look amused.
"How did it feel?" he asked.
"How did what feel?"
"Being forgotten." His voice was serious.
"It's not as bad you'd think. Sometimes, it's good to just disappear for a while. There's less pressure to live out others' expectations when they pay no attention to you," I replied. He nodded.
"I wonder what San's reputation is going to become," he added.
"I think he'll always be known as the sweet boy who tried to swoon over the school's slut," I remarked, not realizing how fond I sounded of him. Seonghwa grinned as if he saw it coming.
"You're going to get so hurt, Sun Hee. More than I even imagined."
"You're wrong, Seonghwa. Once I leave this city, he'll just be another high school memory. I have no feelings attached to him."
"Well, if you do get hurt someday, send me a picture of you crying or something so I can remember it forever."
"I'm blocking your number once I leave, dummy."
"You do realize that this stunt you played during high school won't work once you leave, right?"
"I'll always just do what I want."
He sighed then finally got up, reaching down to help me as well.
"Well, let's go check on the lovebirds," he said while dragging me with him to the nurse's office. When we got there, San was laying down on the bed with Jin Ha resting an ice pack on his bruises. When she saw Seonghwa, she immediately started swearing at him and kicked him out into the hallway to start arguing, leaving San and I alone. I awkwardly sat down next to him, readjusting the ice pack as he groaned in pain.
"Sun Hee?" he asked as he could barely open his eyes. I didn't reply. I continued to move the ice pack to different parts so he wouldn't be too cold, then blotted the blood that hadn't fully clot yet.
"Sun Hee," he spoke again.
"What?" I asked, annoyed.
"I'm really mad at you for leaving me again," he admitted.
"Sounds like a personal problem."
"But, even though I'm mad, I really am sorry about how we left things off."
"Whatever. It's over now, okay?"
He tried to nod but he winced in pain.
"Why didn't you throw a punch in?"
"If I did, Jin Ha would've been upset."
"Who cares what she thinks?" I was getting irritated.
"Obviously I'd care about my girlfriend's feelings."
"How did you and Jin Ha even end up together?" I questioned. He weakly smiled.
"While you were gone, I saw her crying alone outside after Seonghwa rejected her again. When I walked up to her, I noticed how beautiful she actually is. I always heard people say how stunning she was but I never really noticed until now. Probably because I'm not so focused on you anymore."
It sounded like San was purposely trying to hurt me now.
"So what? You think I'm ugly now?" I didn't mean for my words to come out so bluntly.
"I don't think I should answer that."
"Whatever, it's not like I care what you think anyway."
"I know, Sun Hee. I'm glad we're finally on the same page."
Jin Ha finally came back in, giving me a fake smile when she saw me.
"Hey, Sun Hee. Haven't seen you in awhile," she said waving.
"Good," I replied.
We both awkwardly stared at each other until I felt my cue to leave.
"Well, good luck to the newlyweds. Hope you guys kick it off then break up so San and I can have sex," I said as I walked straight past her towards the door.
"You are such a slut, Sun Hee!" Jin Ha's suddenly screamed. I turned around to face her again. I had never seen her so angry. She was always a kind hearted person who never raised her voice unless it was with Seonghwa who rightfully deserved it. And we didn't really have any tension with each other before today.
"Everyone already knows that, genius," I mocked.
"I'm so glad I got to finally tell you that in person." A sense of relief washed over her.
"Don't tell me you were the one writing everything." I started to laugh. She looked at me straight in the eyes, implying that it was her.
"Maybe you shouldn't sleep with other people's boyfriends then." She crossed her arms over her chest.
"You guys were broken up."
"Yeah, well now you and San are broken up but you're still upset that I'm dating him, right?"
"I never dated San, dumbass."
She looked thrown off and didn't reply.
"Well, you won, Jin Ha. Congratulations on getting all the boys that I left over for you."
She was about to slap me until San softly grabbed her hand.
"Sun Hee, just go, please," he begged. I've never been on the receiving end of getting kicked out.
"Call me when you guys are over," I provoked before heading out. I walked straight to the bus stop, full of regret for coming back.