Warning: the chapter ahead may contain Bakugou being very OOC.
(I say may contain because even I'm not sure if it's OOC or not)
Enjoy!
•▪¤▪•
Bakugou had been quite frustrated for the past few days, a lot had happened, he still blamed himself for All might's retirement, talking about it doesn't make the guilt suddenly dissappear after all. There was also this feeling that he was falling behind, people in his class were already getting internships, Kirishima had even made his first impression as a hero while he was still stuck doing remedial classes with Todoroki.
He really needed a break to get rid of this frustration so when Kirishima asked him to come to the fair with him, claiming that the two of them rarely ever got a chance to hang out these days and he couldn't go with the rest of the Baku squad because they were all going home, he just had to agree.
They had made a plan to leave at 6:30 so at the stipulated time the two boys left the 1-A dorms for the fair with Kirishima talking animatedly about his internship and a senior from 3rd year named Tamaki Amajiki who was interning at Fat gum's agency with him while Bakugou walked beside him with a uninterested, neutral look on his face even though he was listening intently.
They reached the fair and Kirishima immediately started dragging him to multiple stalls, eating, playing. Bakugou had made it his personal mission to totally obliterate Kirishima in every game they tried their hands on, he was enjoying it more than the had thought he would. Agreeing to come to the fair was turning out to be a very good decision on his part.
The duo was enjoying some spicy yakisoba when a couple dressed in pink caught Bakugou's attention, he couldn't see their faces but he was pretty sure that one of them had long green hair. He suddenly had an urge to follow them but before his eyes could see where they were going they had already dissappeared in the crowd. He quickly finished the rest of his food in one mouthful and started tugging Kirishima with him into the crowd.
"Whoa Bakubro! You could have atleast waited for me to finish!" Kisrishima said, swallowing the last bit of yakisoba in his mouth.
"Tch, just follow shitty hair." He grumbled. Kirishima was slightly shocked at his sudden change in mood but it was Bakugou he was with, anything could happen so he didn't pay much thought to it.
Bakugou spotted the pair again, this time at a cloth stall. He pulled Kirishima to a Ningyo Sukui (toy scooping) stall few stalls away from them.
"Why did you bring us here bro ?" He asked, clearly confused.
"I thought we could win some small souvenirs for the others." He said with a barely noticeable pout, this was the first excuse that came to his head.
"Aww Bakubro! That is a very manly idea. I knew you cared about the Baku squad!" Kirishima gushed, easily buying his excuse.
The payed the stall owner and started trying to scoop out the toys floating in the water, it had anime and hero theamed toys. Kirishima had scooped out an Elekid for Kaminari, he was originally going for the Pikachu but a kid was trying so hard for that toy that he couldn't bring himself to take it. He then proceeded to take out a cute chibi Majin Buu for Mina and was finally trying to take out a chibi Spider-man figurine for Sero. He was too concentrated in the game to notice that Bakugou wasn't really paying attention, he was still trying to get out the first toy, a Cyndaquil, half his attention was focused at the cloth stall.
He managed to pick the toy, the couple finally turned from the cloth stall, now donning matching complementary haoris. He fianally saw their faces, he had only suspected that it could have been Ikuyu but that was confirmed now, it was Ikuyu and his friend and they were holding hands while chatting happily. Bakugou was too distracted to set aside the toy, it wetness dripping on to the paper, soaking it through. Plop! That was the sound of the toy falling back into the water, it was also the symbolic sound of Bakugou's heart sinking into a pit.
The drop finally broke Kisrishima's concentration out of the game, he noticed that he had 3 toys now and Bakugou had zero, knowing Bakugou he knew he would treat it as a completion and demand to have another go at it to defeat him so he simply put his thoughts to words, " Do you want to try again Bakubro ?"
"Huh, We already have 3 one for each of those extras we don't need more. Let's go." He replied, trying his best to keep the bitterness out if his tone. He couldn't begin to explain how he felt seeing Ikuyu with Yui, as if it ignited some fire in him. Them holding hands pissed him off more than anything, ' Why do they have to hold hands, friends shouldn't hold hands like that, Yui shouldn't be holding Ikuyu's hand like that, she can't just do that!' he grumbled and whined in his head, he knew that didn't make much sense because his touchy friends just happend to hold hands or just maintain any form of physical contact almost all the time.
"You want to go back already?" Kirishima asked, while he was no stranger to Bakugou's mood swings, he was curious about the reason why.
"I don't want to stay out past curfew and get punished by Aizawa again." He grumbled.
"Can we atleast check out 2-3 stalls more that I saw on our way here." He asked hopefully, he wasn't done yet, he wanted to enjoy this a little more.
"Fine but make it quick." Bakugou replied, his mouth scrunched into an almost pout. For their rest of their time there Bakugou just followed Kirishima around trying his best to not linger on the image of Ikuyu and Yui. Even as they walked back to there dorm he desperately hoped and wished that they don't come across the pair again, he hated the way just the though of them together made him, he wasn't very keen on having to actually see them together again.
Unfortunately, luck didn't seem to be in his favour at all, they had to cross the 1-B and 1-C dorms to reach to their dorm and as they were crossing the 1-C dorms, right in front of their doorway they saw Ikuyu and Yui hugging. Bakugou could feel the tightening of his chest and the bubbling if his blood. Just seeing them that close was hurting him. For a moment he felt the hug they shared at Kamino ward flash in front of his eyes, that feeling of warmth and comfort but it was immediately burnt away with the crushing dispare that seemed to take over his entire body.
They looked so snug and comfortable together, wrapped in their own cacoon, faces burried on each others shoulders, arms encasing each other. A part of him screamed at that, whining about how he shouldn't be hugging her like that, like she was the only thing that mattered, like she was the most precious thing in the world. He shouldn't been hugging anyone like that but him. He wanted be in his arms instead, holding him. His heart ached at the sight, like a hundred nails and arrows impaling him at once, it pained him and yet it was hard to look away.
"Don't they look cute together? They even got everything colour co-ordinated and all, this is so manly. It would be so nice to do that with someone, right?" Kirishima cooed, he was too taken in by their cuteness to notice his reaction to them.
"Tch, they look like siblings who are still dressed by their mother." Bakugou grumbled bitterly, his fists were clenched by his side, shoulders tensed and his breathing forced and only now did Kirishima notice that, he wanted to ask what was wrong but he had a feeling that he wouldn't want to talk about it right now, he respected his privacy and decided to wait until later.
The moment they reached their own dorm Bakugou immediately stormed off to his room, locking his door shut he just stood there in his room, should he sit down, should he keep standing, he didn't know, his head was too clouded for him to function properly.
He didn't realized how much he actually cared until he found himself clenching his fists to keep himself calm. The way he felt at the fair when he saw them together and when he saw Ikuyu someone else, someone that wasn't him, that burning feeling, he didn't want to name it but that didn't mean he didn't know what it was. It was jealously, burning green eyed jealously for the green haired guy.
The question was why, why did he feel so jealous. What right did he have to feel jealous, what for, Ikuyu wasn't his anything. He said it himself, he wanted nothing to do with Ikuyu, then why, just why could he not let go. He was tired, so tired of feeling this way. It wasn't just today either, every day, every single fucking day it hurt, every smile that wasn't directed to him, every laugh he didn't cause it stung. It had for quite some time.
Seeing him happy with someone else would make him feel his stomach lurch. Surges of possessiveness would constantly cloud his head that he would constantly try to rationalise with a heavy heart. He had even come to unconsciously resent all his friends a little, the got to laugh with him, smile with him, spend time with him, they had everything he wanted, did they even realise how lucky they were. He started picking fights with him, what else could he do to have any bit of attention from him after all, he did rationalised all that jealously as anger.
How much longer could he deny it. He ment the world to him always had, probably always will. He never wanted to admit it but it was true. He could feel tears pricking his eyes, no, he couldn't cry, he wasn't going to cry for the guy who just went on a date with someone else, Bakugou was stronger than that. He himself had sent Ikuyu away to get rid of his feelings and his fear of getting hurt and he could live with that. Ikuyu could date anyone he wanted to he wasn't going to shead his damn tears after him.
He felt the frustration willing up inside him and he didn't know what to do. He needed to do something, he needed some release, he couldn't just hold it in, without a single though at all he just went and punched the wall with all his strength. Once. Twice. Thrice. And then again and again and again. He could feel the stinging pain, hear the sound of his fists hitting the wall, it did nothing to ease the storm inside.
He went for another punch, he could hear the banging on his door. "Bakugou! Are you okay?" Kirishima shouting from the other side of the door, he was the one who shared a wall with his room.
No, he wasn't going to open the door, no matter how long or how loudly anyone knocks. He didn't want to see anyone, didn't want anyone to see him like this either, he wanted to be left alone, all by himself, just like what he deserved.
"Bakubro! Open up or I will bust the door lock!" Kirishima shouted again. Like a threat like that would affect Bakugou, he was just glad that most of the people weren't at the dorms so this wasn't going to end up being a big scene, even Izuku had gone home, if only Ikuyu had gone back too, then things wouldn't have been this pathetic.
The way Ikuyu hugged her kept flashing in front of him, the way he held her hands, he wanted to have that all to himself. He could only wish to be hugged and held like that by him again, he still remebered the warmth and comfort that he had felt with him and he wasn't just thinking about the hug when he had that though but also the comfort he felt the days they had spent sitting at home, the beach together and while cooking and eating with him at his house. He had got that hug and pushed him away, got his kiss only to be betrayed the next second with a harsh kick, with a record like this could Bakugou ever really think about being close to Ikuyu again.
After years worth of unsaid words were finally spilled out, his ancient grudges against Ikuyu had finally melted away, he got to hear his side of the story and he found himself understanding it too, we wouldn't want to admit it but he got everything that he was trying to say and admiting that hurt even worse. He wanted Ikuyu by his side again but he was stubborn too, he wasn't going back to undo what he declared that day. He didnt want to unlock the doors he locked himself.
He was scared too, Ikuyu left him once again like he did before, how could he believe that if he let him in again he would stay and not just walk away once again. If he gave him another chance being left would just hurt worse this time. Could he really take that risk?
"Bakugou! Please! Please open the door or I'll have to call Aizawa Sensei." Kairishima yelled this time. Okay, that was a potent one, Bakugou really wanted to avoid any and all potential run ins with Aizawa outside the school for some time, he didn't want any more punishments for causing any damage or trouble and he clearly didn't want to be in the receiving end of Aizawa trying to councel him.
"Go away shitty hair, why do you even care just leave me alone and let me be." Bakugou said finally opening the door.
"You got me worried with the wall punching Bakugou. Are you okay?" Kirishima asked, his voice laced with genuine concern. 'Was this because of what we saw outside the 1-C dorm?' He wondered.
"Am I alright." Bakugou said with a scoffed as he walked towards the bed, his back turned away from Kirishima and the door. His voice sounded blank and empty. Instead of making an effort to go and sit on the bed or his chair he just turned and slumped down on the floor, back resting against the bed.
Kirishima closed the door behind him. He had never seen him look so defeated and tired. It worried him more than anything. He slowly approached Bakugou and sat down beside him on the floor. "What's wrong Bakubro, you can talk to me about anything, you know that right. Please talk to me, I'm here for you." He spoke gently.
Bakugou took in a deep breath, was it really worth it, could he really open up and share his feelings with him. Keeping it all inside was already hurting him so much how much more could speaking about it be. "Fuck it." He muttered under his breath before he started telling Kirishima about him and Ikuyu, he told him everything, everything that ever happened between them, their childhood, their fallout, the years of radio silance and his relentless bullying, their encounter on the day of the sludge villain attack, his sudden revival of feelings, the times they had spent together at the beach, the time he saved Ikuyu and the coffee and dinner that followed, the kiss, the fighting, the hug they shared out of everyone's sight, all the way to their last fight and everything he felt today.
Somewhere between narrating everything silent tears had started leaking out of Bakugou's eyes, he gave a final sniff and said, "You must think I'm pathetic, right. Fought and defeated villains, won the school festival and yet I'm crying because of stupid feelings because I can't keep them in check."
Kirishima brought his arm around Bakugou, pulling him into a side hug using his other vacant hand to wipe away the residual tears left on his face. "Of course not Bakubro. I think you're very manly. Crying is manly, having feelings, talking about about them and whatever hurts you is manly too. There is nothing unmanly about any of this. A real man isn't afraid to feel things and it's okay." Kirishima smiled at him.
He moved himself a bit so instead of just a side hug he could now properly hug Bakugou. He pulled him in and started to stroke his hair soothingly, Bakugou just complied. "You know what would not be manly though?-" he started speaking again, "-Running away from your feelings and sacrificing all the happiness you could have with my Ikubro. I know this isn't my place to speak but you obviously like him more than friends and this is making both of you sad, I think it's worth taking the risk to try to be atleast friends."
Bakugou didn't reply, not like he expected him to say anything either. They stayed there quitely for some time before Kirishima asked about dinner, Bakugou groaned and asked him how he could even think of eating after all he had at the fair, he had a smile hidden behind his frown. Kirishima was happy that Bakugou was better now and finally left his room after tucking him to bed, it was already way past his usual bedtime of 8:32 PM.
•▪¤▪•
2945 words
Damn, Kirishima smashing toxic masculinity steriotypes harder than his quirk.
This is probably the longest chapter I've posted for this story, I was going to even longer but then I edited out quite a big portion, sadly it was the part that took me a week to write 😱 the rest of (or the entire chapter) was written in 2 days.
Anyway, please tell me how this was. I always get kinda nervous about writing Bakugou. I hope I don't went too overboard with it or made it too unrealistic. I need your feedback people.
So, I realised that I used to ask if the chapter was too long the moment it exceeded 2000 words (no one answered) and now that this chapter almost crossed 3000 so I ask again, are the chapters too long, does the length make you lose interest or anything like that. Please tell me how you feel. Also, do you think my writing has improved even a little bit throughout this story?
I hope you liked the chapter! Do Vote, Comment and Share.
Have a nice Day/Night !
~love, Vianna_spt