Ever since I woke up, there's been a very unsettling feeling in my heart. When I woke up, I was crying and my chest felt incredibly heavy.. I was hurting in my sleep. Why?
"You're awake." I turn to my right, finding a man in a white coat. Who is he? "I'm Dr. Mitsunaka, I'm in charge of you.. I'm glad to finally see you wake up." Doctor..?
He took the mask off me and placed it on the side table. "W-Where am I..?" I try sitting up, panicking when I couldn't feel my legs— I mean I could but, they're weak. "W-What's wrong with me? W-Why can I not..?" The tears from when I was sleeping flowed more from panicking.
"You were in a coma for almost three months." A coma? What happened to me? Why am I here? "Do you remember anything?"
Do I remember anything? Images are popping up in my head, images or are these vague memories? I don't remember a thing... No... why can I not remember anything.. but who are these people that I'm seeing.. who...
There's a girl... a boy.. a team.. Who are these people? Who are they? Are they my friends...? All I can remember is my name, and my family. But things about myself.. I don't remember anything. Why did I lose my memories? How did I lose them? What happened before I got into a coma?
"Don't stress it out, it may be temporary. You'll be under observation for the time being, you may remember them." May? So there's a possibility that I wouldn't? "You'll be under anesthesia later, we'll get you checked up and with your body being that way.. you will have to undergo physical therapy to get yourself back on your feet."
"M-Mitsunaka-san.. W-Why am I here? W-Why was I in a coma?" I'm scared.. I was unconscious for months and.. did I almost die? But why can't I remember? Why..? "W-Will I remember anything?"
"For now, you should rest. Later, a pudding head will come over to see you. He'll drop something off. His name's Kozume Kenma." Kenma... why am I crying more?
He made me drink some medicine and rest. He left me all on my own in this room. I'm still crying.. my chest feels so heavy. Why am I crying? Why am I in pain? Why does it hurt to hear that name? I don't even remember anything about that person.. who is he?
Kenma.. Kozume Kenma.. who are you? Why do I feel like saying sorry? Why does the sound of your name makes me want to cry more? Why is there such an unsettling feeling in my heart whenever I think of your name? It hurts so bad.. I want to remember..
I don't know what makes me want to cry. If it's the sound of his name or.. if it's because of me not remembering anything at all. Amnesia.. I don't know if I have ever given it a thought of happening to me but, it's scary. I can only remember who I am, who my family is.. but my friends.
I feel hurt. I'm mentally drained— literally. I'm stuck with one person.. Kozume Kenma. Every time I try to say his name I feel like he's someone important. My heart feels so heavy whenever I think of his name, my head's full of his name.. full of him. I don't even know how he looks like.
I tried my best to cheer up. I wouldn't want to look like a mess to Kozume-san once he arrives. I have to look well and lively, I have to look a bit lively.. I can't make the person worry over me. We might not even be friends so troubling him is the last option.
I sit up when I heard the door slide open. I didn't see his face yet but.. when I saw it I wanted to cry. Who is he that he makes me feel this way? I can't help but try to stare at him, he looks.. he feels so close to me but he's acting so cold so why...?
"Kozume Kenma, your seat mate. That's all that there is to us." We're just seat mates... but I feel different. I.. feel so different. I thought there was something else.
He gave me the notes and said that he's going already. But I want him to stay longer... I'm.. longing for him. I don't even know who he is yet the feeling of wanting him around me makes me want to tell him to stay. But he's already by the door.
"Kozume-san." That sounds so wrong.. "Thank you for your kindness." I feel like I'm offending him.. was it something I shouldn't have said?
After he left, I started to cry. Why does he feels so close yet so distant to me? He didn't even do anything.. but I want him to stay close. I want him here.. I want to talk to him.. but why is he leaving already? I want him here with me..
The sound of his voice soothes me but without my memories I feel troubled just by hearing it. His voice is a drug, addictive and dangerous. It makes me want to cry out and say that I want to hear more.. I sound like a psychopath.. a complete weirdo.
Why does it feel better when I say Kenma? But it would be disrespectful to call him Kenma, last names are the right way of calling a person you don't know. I know him.. I think.. I just don't remember who he is. That's what's making me cry.. familiar yet unknown.
Just like the doctor said, I was brought to a room to get me checked up and I was given Anesthesia. Slowly but surely, I fell unconscious. He said that I will be checked up to see if there are any improvements or anything wrong with my head.. I hope I'll be fine.
I'm really terrified right now. It's like.. my life that was already blooming into a beautiful flower suddenly got cut off and now, it's only the stem left, or maybe my life's just the flower, all I remember is the moment I woke up.. when he arrived and now the checkup. The roots vanished and so did the stem.
What's happened to me? Why am I on a hospital bed? Why am I here? Why don't I remember my memories? Why is it that I'm crying over his name? His face? His voice? The familiar feeling of having him around.. it's strong.. very strong.
"I love you, (Y/n)."
I jolt up. Who? Who said that? Who said that to me? I look around and I'm alone.. Who said that? Why did I hear that? My heart's pounding.. it hurts. My head's aching too, and I'm crying.. why? What's happening? What's going on? Who said I love you to me?
When I was unconscious, I saw a person.. but I didn't see who it was. It was a guy.. I didn't see the hair, his entire face... all that I saw was his smile. It was warm and welcoming, it felt like... he loves me. Loves and not loved. It was.. It made my heart skip a beat.. why?
The smile comforted me like it said that I shouldn't be worried about anything, but at the same time.. it was painful. Another thing.. it was so familiar. Like it was from someone who was with me everyday, spending time with me and doing all sorts of things..
I also felt a hand on mine, and a kiss on my lips. But I was only seeing my memories— vague memories. Who is he? Who was my boyfriend? Or maybe he's my ex? Maybe I just suddenly thought of him because of my state? But that's impossible! I don't remember anything!
I have to remember who he is... maybe he's suffering by himself. Maybe we never broke up... it feels that way. But, if I'm hurting then maybe we did. I don't know anymore. But I really want to know who it is, I feel very bad for them.. and I feel bad.
Who is he? I feel like he's so close.. like he was around while I was unconscious. I feel weird. I want to tell him that I'm sorry.. whoever it may be. I just want to apologize for troubling them. Whatever I've done before to him, whatever accident I got into that made me forget my memories... I just want to say that I'm sorry.
Kozume-san didn't come often. He'd come every after two weeks.. I still couldn't get him to stay because he said that he's busy. He really avoids eye contact with me. I couldn't get him to look at me while we speak.. I guess he's uncomfortable because we're not friends. I have to apologize one way or another.
Physical therapy was awful.. it was hell. I couldn't properly walk-- that's a given but the exercise or the activities was incredibly tiring. I felt like I was dying. I would cry every time and Mitsunaka-san would cheer me up.. I don't want this anymore.
"You can do it. There's someone who'd really love to say this to you.. but they believe that you could do it." Mistunaka-san pat my head, wiping my tears as I tried to breathe. "If anyone could do it, it's you."
"Who..?" He gave me an apologetic smile, letting out a sigh.
"I can't tell you.. but they love you." Who? My chest feels heavy again. I don't want this anymore. "All I can say is that.. they wish all the best for you and they want to see you smile again. Don't lose hope, okay? You've been over this for two weeks already.. I know you can do it, so do they."
"I-I want to smile for the person.. I-I want to make them happy.. I'll do it again.." If someone believed in me, then I should be able to do it 'til the end. I want my hard work to pay off, I want them to be happy.. and I don't want them to regret believing in me.
Mitsunaka-san helped me up and brought me back to do it again. I don't want to fail, I want to walk and run again. I want to run and jump, be with my friends and family.. I want to be able to go back to school.. I have to get better. I need to get better.
Whoever believed in me, I won't let you down.
Days went by and I started to walk more stable, I could walk from room to room now.. though I'm still pretty weak. I can walk now.. I gained more strength. I want to meet that person but Mitsunaka-san never tells me who it is. I want to meet them.... please.
My chest feels heavy.. it always does. Whenever I sleep I could see that smile and it makes me want to cry.. I can hear their voice but I couldn't identify who it is, given that I don't remember anything. I just hope that the person's not suffering.. I would feel so bad.
"(Y/n)!" A girl cheered, tears streaming down her face when she saw me. She's pregnant. "I missed you!" She went up to me and hugged me tight. I hope I'm not crushing her belly.
"I-I'm sorry.. I don't remember who you are--"
"Takahashi Honami, your classmate, your best friend. I fucking love you and I'm happy that you're awake already! We're managers of the volleyball team." I pat her back as she cried on my shoulder, I can feel her warmth.. but it's not enough.
"BABE!" Another girl entered and hugged me too, she's beautiful.. she looks like an actress. "I love you, I love you... I'm Kamoto Maki.. Your best friend.. Your vice president in the council.. your favorite actress to-be. Your classmate.... I missed you." Her warmth.. it's very familiar.. she's a friend.
"H-Hey.. Satsuki Ena.. Future model.. your best friend.. I hope we are.." I give her a smile and she started crying too.. They make me cry. We all hugged each other and cried together.
They're my friends. My best friends. They waited for me, they believed that I can do it.. I can't imagine how scared they were to watch me sleep on this bed for two months. I wonder what happened to them.. I want to know them again.
Just then another girl stood before us, she seems a bit hostile.. but she's crying and her eyes are screaming fear. "K-Kazuhiko.. N-N-Narumi.." I give her a small smile, hesitated before gesturing her to come over and give her a hug.
"H-How are you? I heard from your parents that you were unable to walk.." I let out an awkward laugh, wiping my cheeks before I gave them an answer-- question.
"Who's Kozume Kenma?" I want to know who he is. "Is he really just my seat mate?"
"He's the captain of the volleyball team.. and yes.. well, maybe you guys would have a few conversations because you are seat mates and that you're the manager.. but not more than that." If we weren't more than that then why does Maki keep pausing..? And why does she have to give me a longer explanation..?
"You're lying.." I say, looking down to my hands as I played with them. "Or maybe you're not.. I don't even remember who he is." I don't know what to say anymore.
"We'll create new memories." Why won't you tell me my old ones? "We'll tell you your other memories, but can we exclude the bad ones?" Why..?
"Okay.."
The girls would come over everyday and eventually, I got discharged! I was able to walk again! I felt incredibly happy to be walking to school again. I saw people around and some were staring at me, they're probably surprised to see me. I would give them a smile and a small wave.
At the school gate, I saw Kozume-san. I felt shy and scared, so I couldn't do much. I gave him a small wave but he completely ignored me. Maki, Kazuhiko, and Ena was with me.. but I feel so sad with him ignoring me. Why is he acting so cold suddenly?
I went to the classroom and students suddenly huddled around me. I think I irritated Kozume-san, he left the room. Maybe he doesn't like having too many people around us. He seems like he's mad.. he was furrowing his brows. I'm sorry..
When Kozume-san came back, I got so worried. His eyes were red and puffy, he looked like he was having trouble. I wanted to ask him if he was okay but, he's probably mad at me. I don't know what I've done wrong to him but he's really ignoring me.
For the very least, I gave him a pack of tissues but he slid it back right in front of me. I want to be friends with everyone around me, I want to apologize for being away from school for a while. I don't want to be a nuisance to them.. ha I should've been careful not to get into an accident.
"President!" Some first year came up to me, crying waterfalls. I just stared at her in confusion, president.. oh council! "We missed you!" She gave me a tight hug and I just pat her back, stroking my hand up and down her head.
"I'm sorry for the trouble." She shook her head and hugged me tighter.
The other members of the council went up to me too, they were all crying.. I must've been a good president for them to cry over me like this. I don't really know how to react to this but, all I can do is smile and try to cheer them up.
They informed me about a music festival for a farewell party for us third years, I felt happy to hear that. I immediately have an event to prepare right when I just got back. I can be useful! I wouldn't have to burden Maki anymore.
We asked the music club to do it and they said that they already accepted the offer. They will do it! I wonder what kind of music they'll be performing.. I hope it'll be hype so I wouldn't feel too down for not remembering anyone. I want to be happy for the person who believes in me.
They performed amazing songs! I was so happy when they performed on stage but.. I was worried about someone. I saw Kozume-san crying and I felt like I was the reason for it, but we're not even friends! Maybe he has a girlfriend and they broke up.
"Is Kozume-san okay?" I shout into Maki's ear, the music's loud.
"I think so? I think he is." Ha.. Please be fine.
Days passed and yiee! Honami went into labor! It's a baby boy! His name's Mitsuki.. I asked her what the last name is and she just said that it's Takahashi. I heard that her boyfriend is Yamamoto.. but they said they were having conflicts so the baby's surname's the mother's.
He's so tiny! I love him already! I will spoil him once I get a job after college! I want to spoil the baby! "Honami can I steal your baby?" I ask, rocking Mitsuki gently. He's in my arms, asleep. He looks so cute!
"You can spend time with him but no you cannot and must not steal my baby boy." I pout my lips, nuzzling the baby's nose. "You look like you'd be a great mother too." I give her a sweet smile, staring at Mitsuki in awe when he smiled. "Can I have my baby now?"
"Auntie will be giving you back to mama now." I walk up to her and carefully hand him to her. I want him! Ugh I want a baby.. I don't even have a boyfriend and yet.. ha.
"You should get a boyfriend soon, if you want a baby that bad." My cheeks turned red and I immediately shake my head, having them laugh at me. I can't imagine myself having sex with a guy! That feels weird..
Honami got discharged the next day and she still came over to school, she is rich! She has a butler in school and she'd leave her baby with him. She would spend time with her baby during lunch and other breaks, other students stopped judging her and adored her baby.
I still feel like someone's watching me from afar, like they're someone special but sometimes I think the person's a stalker. Chills. I feel so scared whenever I walk around school, it's like I'm forgetting about someone.. I hope they'd just tell me who they are.
Graduation came and, the volleyball team invited the alumni to play with the players. I watched them in awe, they're so good! Kozume-san looks so good-- he plays very well.. Never expected that from someone reserved and withdrawn.
"(Y/n)-senpai! Let's all take a photo!" Hiro pulled me with him and I'm now standing between him.. and the pudding head. I made a peace sign, smiling sweetly to the camera.
The first years asked me to take a picture with them so I kinda got stuck. But when I saw Kozume-san was not around I had the urge to search for him. I excused myself from the kids, running outside to look for him.
I went out and found him by the school gate, I made it in time! "Kozume-san, wait up!" He turned around and stared at me. "Can we talk?" I hold on to my knees as I tried to breathe. Please talk to me.
"I don't have time for that.. I have to get going.." He turned around to leave, but I grabbed his hand, forcing him to turn to me. "(Y/n).." His warmth... It's familiar. He feels so welcoming.. His hand feels perfect.
"Were we friends?" I furrow my brows, tears suddenly rolling down my cheeks. "K-Kozume-san..?"
"We weren't.. but (Y/n).." He hung his head low, looking up with a smile. "Thank you.." He's crying.. Why is he crying? No.. "See you around."
"Wait.." He slid my hand off his, patting my head before turning around.
Who is he? Who the fuck is he? I feel like he's so close to me.. he's not telling me who he really is. My heart feels so heavy just by holding his hand. When he pat my head it feels perfect, it feels warm.. he makes me feel so safe and comfortable.. why?
Summer seemed so lonely to me. My friends were all preparing for college and here I am, taking classes to finish high school. Fucking. I hope my friends will help me out. They would visit me when they have time, most of the time it's Kazuhiko or Maki who would help me out.
It took me a while before I could enter college. I finished my summer classes and I already got into the University of Tokyo, but I will go later because I was told to rest. My mom and dad seemed a bit tired. I wanted to help them out.
"Sweetheart.." Mom called out, she's in the room.. she's very ill. I hope she'll get well soon.
I head over to the room with a tray of food, she hasn't eaten anything since this morning. "Mom, how are you?" I smile sweetly at my mother, placing the tray on the side table before taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "Get well soon."
"I will sweetheart.. Thank you.. and sorry for taking your time." I shake my head and kiss her forehead.
I get up and head outside, coming back with a damp towel. Mom didn't want to be admitted to the hospital anymore, she said she's still paying our debts. I decided to take care of her so that I can return the favor of working for me while I was unconscious.
"Don't worry about your tuition fees... someone's sponsoring you." What? "Someone was kind enough to pay for everything.."
"W-Who..?"
"Someone very kindhearted, and someone that really cares about you." Who? "Next week, start going to school.. don't stay behind for me. You need.. to continue studying for your future. Okay?" I look down, feeling my mom cup my cheek. Her hand's hot. I give her a smile, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
I took care of her and fed her, helping her take a shower or a bath.. I did everything. I cooked, did the laundry, washed the dishes.. I did everything for her. She has to get well soon. I want to go out with her, just a little mother and daughter bonding.
Dad gave me the money my sponsor gave me for my needs (supplies or clothes), and I went shopping with Kazuhiko. She said that I would need textbooks for class.. I even needed new notebooks and some other things.. I don't have much at home.
Maki told me to be a bit stylish with my clothes, so she came over despite being in the middle of work. She really started acting and she's going to be the female lead's best friend or something. She showed me some crop tops-- they're all body fit and I looked so different in them.
"Girl you are just gorgeous." I smiled at Maki's comment, turning around to look at my reflection. "Any guy would fall in line for you.." I made a disgusted look, I don't feel like I'm up for relationships.
"Do I really look good?" Kazuhiko gave me a nod, a bright smile and two thumbs up. "So everything you guys gave me are crop tops. What if it's winter?"
"Sweater! Here try this out!"
I take the clothes from Maki and close the door to get changed. I wore the sweater, wearing the leggings too-- these are damn thick. I look good! I turn around, look over my shoulder to see my back in the mirror. It's perfect!
I opened the door and they both smiled. "Get changed. Let's pay for it!"
The money my sponsor gave me was more than enough. I really want to pay them back someday! Their kindness will forever be appreciated. I got shoes and clothes, supplies for school. I was even able to buy a laptop like-- how rich is this person?
When I started going to school, people were staring at me. It made me uncomfortable.. I felt like I was revealing too much skin but, I'm wearing high-waisted shorts and a crop top.. they can't see my abdomen that much but.. ugh stop staring.
I was heading to class, eyes on my phone as I walked. I'm checking my schedule for today, I'm going to be buying medicine for mom. She's still sick. Well, luck is on my side! Great. I bumped into a guy and I fell on my ass. "Ow.."
"Sorry, I wasn't looking." I shake my head and look up. "You're... the girl who bumped into me at the department store." Oh so someone I met once?
"Sorry about my friend, she doesn't remember anything.. Amnesia." Kazuhiko suddenly appeared. The guy ignored her and kneeled down, helping me pick up my books. He's handsome..
"I'm Mitsugi Naoki, I'm in the same class as the two of you." I nod and take his hand when he held it out. He helped me up. "You stepped on my Balenciaga's." Balenciaga... Oh my god!
"I'm sorry I must've been very stupid uhm.." He gave me a small smile-- he's really handsome.
"Let's get to class, shall we?"
We all headed to class and again, everyone was staring. He suddenly gave me his cardigan and I'm incredibly grateful. I wore it and some of the guys grunted, I was about to glare at them but Naoki did that for me. I feel a bit.. weird.
Naoki and I got a lot closer with each other, he's kinda reserved but he really cares about me. He's one of my closest male friends, I think he's the only male friend that I have. He would treat me to lunch or drive me home, he's really kind to me.. but he reminds me of a specific someone.
Days turned to weeks, months into years.. 2 years passed and, I've went through a lot more.. It was pretty tiring and I cried a lot. Naoki and Kazuhiko would be around to help me get through them. Naoki helps me a lot with my thesis and other things, sometimes it's like I'm taking his time from him.
My grades are incredible! I got very very nice grades. I hope getting high grades would be an advantage when it comes to applying for a job, but I guess experience tops that off. I also learned stock trading, I can really be helpful in a company someday! I hope I can get into a nice company!
"Where do you want to eat?" Naoki asks, making me turn to him. "You've been on your phone since we left."
"Sorry.. just feel kinda nervous.. but uhm, anywhere you prefer." I give him a smile before looking back at my phone. I feel somehow very uncomfortable.
I haven't went home yet, I've been staying with Kazuhiko in our dorm because of school. I've only ever dropped by to leave medicine for my mom. She hasn't been very well, ever since I got discharged 2 years ago. I hope she's fine, I really hope she is.
I look at my hand when I suddenly felt Naoki hold it. "I'm here for you.." I'm here, it's okay, I love you. What? "Whatever it is.. everything will be fine." We can't avoid such circumstances (Y/n).
Naoki's warmth is lacking.. only one person has made it feel perfect. I haven't seen him in years, how is he? But hey... why am I wondering about someone who gives no shit about me? Oh.. because he cried when he said goodbye to me. I feel guilty over something.. unclear.
We got to a restaurant and Naoki's still holding my hand, I didn't bother to break away.. I needed someone.. but his warmth is still not enough. I can't.. He ordered something for the both of us, trying to cheer me up by smiling at me. I would return it but I'm still so nervous.
I look around and saw a familiar face. Lev and Maki! Kozume-san.. Kuroo.. Ena.. "Naoki, wait for a sec.. okay?" He nodded and let me go. I head over to them, knocking on their table. "Hey.. it's been a while."
"(Y/n)!" Maki and Ena stood, giving me a tight hug. I got a pat on the head from Kuroo and I asked for a high five from Lev.. holding my hand up to Kozume-san too. I give him a small smile, hoping he'd-- He did! His warmth.. I felt it with a millisecond of having his hand on mine.
"I'm with a friend.. I--"
"(Y/n) come on now." Naoki held my hand and pulled me away. I pout my lips and give my friends a wave, growling at him. "What?"
"You always have me around, don't be greedy." He rolled his eyes, suddenly cupping my cheeks. "What?" He gave me a long kiss on the forehead, my cheeks immediately burning. I love you (Y/n). There's someone who used to give me those..
"I want to be greedy, because I like you." He what? He gave me another kiss on the forehead before pulling me back to our table.
He likes.. me? What? Why? No.. I don't.. "Naoki, I don't." I pull my hand away from him, feeling my chest tighten from the sound of having someone like me. "I don't like you.. I'm still looking for someone.." A specific someone, he's somewhere close.. But I don't know who he is.
"Then.." He held my arms gently and took a step forward. "I'll do everything that I can." He kissed my forehead again, giving me a genuine smile as his hand when down to hold mine.
We went back to our table and ate dinner. It felt kind of awkward, I don't want to hurt his feelings but.. he's not giving up even if I've rejected him already. I don't.. I'm searching for a special someone that I've been seeing in my dreams.. I want to find him.
I've really been wondering about him and I can feel it.. how much I used to love him. It lets me know that we never parted.. we had to part. Someone made us part, or it was his choice.. but I don't want that. Maybe he waited for so long and maybe cried tears of joy when he found out that I woke up.. but he couldn't show himself.
I don't want to start something else when I haven't finished or ended the other yet. I don't want to hurt people. I can get hurt but no one shall get hurt because of me. I have to search for that person but.. they left no traces of him or us. My belongings in my room are not complete.. someone took them from me.
Ever since I got home, whenever I lay on my bed I could smell an imaginative scent. Some scent that's probably the work of my head. Every time I glance at the floor, it seemed so empty and dull.. even without my memories I can tell that it used to be lively-- it is now but it was livelier then.
Naoki was just telling me something about stock trading and I would just simply nod. I was eating my steak when my phone started to vibrate. It's a message from someone unknown.
??: Funeral scheduled today for (L/n) Kana at 1 PM. (L/n) (Y/n) invited to come to Tominsosai.
What is this..? No.. it must be spam.. it must be a joke. "N-Naoki.. do you have time after?" He shook his head and frowned, my tears started falling.. no. "I'm sorry.." I got my bag and headed to my friends, I can't stop crying.
"(Y/n)!" I'm really sorry Naoki. I'm really sorry..
"(Y/n) why are you crying?" I fell to my knees.. I can't.. "Hey.. Y-You okay?" I shake my head and cry. "We won't know what's wrong if you won't tell us.." I know Ena, I know.
"D-Does anyone have time..? I-I need to go somewhere." I tried to stand, holding on the table for support. "M-Mom.. she.."
"I'll take you." I look up, finding Kozume-san right in front of me. "Come on."
Kozume-san took my hand and brought me out of the restaurant. He placed a cap on my head, covering my eyes with it. He opened his car door and I sat on the shotgun seat, I waited for him to get in. He did my seatbelt for me, all I'm doing is cry.
He drove us there and I could feel him glance at me from time to time, but my head's full of my mother. It can't be. She sent me a text just yesterday.. She said she was fine. She promised me she will be fine.. she couldn't be dead.
I look at my hand when I felt his on mine, his warmth is comforting me.. He caressed my hand with his thumb, holding on to the steering wheel with his free hand. He's not saying anything but, he's calming me down.. he's helping me a lot.
We got to the place and they said she was buried already. I wasn't even there.. She didn't tell me the truth! She died.. five days ago. It was an automated text, she did it on purpose.. She didn't want to tell me.. Mom why?! I'm sorry mom... I'm really sorry...
"She said she was fine..." I'm staring at her grave.. I can't accept it. "It's my fault.. If I was careful.. I wouldn't have been in the hospital.. she wouldn't have to work I--" Kozume-san turned me around and pulled me into a hug.
"Cry." I look up and he gave me a small smile. I bury my face in his chest as I wrapped my arms around his waist.. he's patting me on the back, stroking his hand up and down my head.
"It's my fault.. I troubled so many people.. It's my fault that she got sick." I felt like crying more when I felt him kiss the top of my head.. why?
"(Y/n), many chose to suffer for you but it's not your fault. They did it out of their love for you.. don't blame yourself for their suffering. They did it because they care for you." I look up, getting a kiss on my forehead.
"Do you care for me?" I ask, burying my face in the crook of his neck. "But.. thank you.. Kozume-san."
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