"Sadness"
That's the only thing Lauren was able to feel, she knew when everything happened. She wasn't there but she wished so much to be there or even go back in time and change all of it, all the pain that Camila went. She wished that she could all erased it, also if it meant giving up on Camila forever but unfortunately it's not possible, although she wished one last thing which is very much possible "KILLING THAT BASTARD".
"sei una fortuna, ti hanno liberato subito anche dopo quel casino che hai combinato " said a woman with brown eyes and hair wearing an italian police uniform opening the jail door and waking Lauren up from her deep thoughts making her look at the thing surrounding her(you are lucky, that they freed you after all the mess you did back there )
She is been in jail for 24 hours now, yet she couldn't think of anything other than that guy and Camila's frightened reaction when she was about to punch that guy yet she was angry with her.
"Thank", she said getting up however she didn't really understand what the police officer said but she is quite sure she meant you are lucky and free?! She might not understand italian but few words were familiar to her.
"Sign in here and here and then you can go" said another officer pointing at the page where Lauren was needed to sign.
As soon she left that place there was Camila waiting for her in the waiting room also she looked really tired and exhausted.
Lauren didn't say a word to her, she didn't knew what to say so she just kept walking. Sadly, Camila took the silence as her worst nightmare as she thought Lauren wasn't talking to her because she was disgusted by her.
It was February and the weather in Italy was still freezing, yet both of them felt nothing because of the internal turmoil.
"You know what i did just to take you out of there" said Camila with a rude and arrogant tone putting an invisible barriers between them afraid that Lauren's gonna say something which will hurt her.
As much as she hates to admit but Lauren became a part of her, now she was someone important in Camila's life and her opinion mattered to her, that's why she was freaking out more.
Lauren didn't say a word, she just kept following Camila.
And this silence was making Camila more and more insecure.
"AREN'T YOU GONNA SAY SOMETHING " yelled Camila frustrated because she couldn't take this anymore and threw her purse at Lauren.
Still not a word from the green eyed girl who completely ignored her action.
"JUST SAY IT YOU FEEL DISGUSTED BY ME " said Camila hitting Lauren again and again with the purse angrily who looked at her angrily and grabbed her with her hands tightly making her take few steps back till Camila's back was touching the wall.
It was 3 am and the only lights reflecting was the lamp and moons light, leaving them alone on the road.
"Don't you dare put words in my mouth, the only reason I'm not talking is because I'm ANGRY super Angry because you didn't let me kill him!" Lauren said with so much anger that the veins in her neck was popping like it was about to burst.
"How can you even say I'm disgusted by you? Are you crazy? To me you are the purest person ever, I respect you as much as I respect my mom and if that bastard did something wrong to you, why do you keep punishing yourself, I know it's not easy but don't punish yourself when you are the victim to begin with".
"You are just saying this because you respect my father " said Camila trying to push Lauren away but she didn't flinch.
"Your father got nothing to do here nothing at all "
"You don't know the whole story!! You don't get it" said Camila shaking her head and crying.
"I might not know but i am sure that whenever someone gets physically abused they are NOT THE ONE TO BLAME " Lauren with both of the palm of her hand whipped Camila's tears away.
"SO TELL ME WHAT CAN I DO TO FREE MYSELF FROM THIS PAIN " said Camila yelling and crying hysterically.
"SEEK FOR HELP "
"Try to talk about it, it's still in your heart and the burden of this scary past is drowning you in your own sorrow "
"I talked to Dinah" said Camila crying and putting her head on Lauren's shoulder.
"Did you actually?" asked Lauren slowly getting away from Camila so she could actually see her eye's but it was closed.
"Look maybe you are not comfortable around me, what about you talk to some psychologist?" Camila shook her head and said "I did talk to dinah but never actually told her the whole story and I don't wanna talk to someone I don't know "
"They are professional but If you don't want that it's ok, maybe you can talk to dinah?" Camila shook her head again.
"Tell me the name of whoever your heart desires to talk to and I'll take you there I promise!" now Camila is the one giving her silence treatment.
"Your father?"
"Your mom?"
"Shaw..n?" said Lauren turning her head so Camila won't see the painful expression on her face, maybe she will never be enough for her and that's ok as much as it hurts her but her priority is Camila's happiness and if that guy provides her that then she will reunite them.
Camila did look at her after the mention of Shawn's name, she raised her hand to grab Lauren's face gently with one hand and turned so they were face to face.
"For now my heart desires to talk to you" said the brown eyes staring at the most beautiful emerald shade of eyes.
"Then do Camila I promise you. I'll never judge nor do anything to make you uncomfortable "
Camila sighed and rested her forehead on Lauren's shoulder.
"I'll say everything to you but you need to answer my one question " Lauren just nodded and added "anything "
"Why do you care about me so much?" Asked Camila with a soft yet curious tone looking at Lauren with warm brown eyes.
"It's a long story Camila you won't believe me"
"Try Me"
"You helped me when I was losing myself and I wanna do the same for you"
Flashback
(CHAPTER 18: FLASHBACK)
Lauren's pov
"Why Mike? WHY" mom asked dad bawling his eyes out.
She added "Wasn't I enough? What was missing? We had everything! EVERY FREAKING THING THAT anyone can ask for, so WHY MIKE? WHY?" the crying face of my mother was killing me inside
I wanted to go and comfort her but the door was locked and I was able to follow them only by their conversation sounds and by looking at their bedroom window.
"I am man CLARA I need more"
"So, you think this is a plausible answer to why you cheated?" As much as I know my father
He was guilty
And he knew it
"That's not all Clara, I miss my old life when I used to have everything just by clapping my hands but marrying you had a lot of consequences that I never thought until I came face to face with the reality, I hate waking up and go to some underpaid jobs which I don't like and still have to do it FOR YOU GUYS oh and I still don't understand IF MY SON IS ACTUALLY MY SON OR MY DAUGHTER ..........I am tired Clara I really am"
"Am I not mike? Am I not going to work too, that work which I hate but still do it and I even take care of our baby and the house but am I complaining? Am I cheating on you? The answer is NO" she yelled at last
"AND also, if you want to leave us, leave the door is open but DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TO BRING OUR CHILD IN THE MIDDLE" so I am the reason
But what did I do?
"THAT'S THE TRUTH CLARA OUR CHILD IS A FREAK" he said in total anger as soon as he finished it my mom slapped him, he looked shook at first but the tears were visible in his eyes but he quickly whipped them away.
My mom put her hand on her mouth totally shocked.
Somehow after hearing this my heart was just broken by my own father.
I heard the door unlock and I quickly ran to my mom.
I whipped her tears which were constantly falling while my father was packing his belongings.
"Don't cry mama " I said. At this point, I was crying too then I heard my father calling my name
"Laur, I love you" he said kneeling in front of me and then hugged me, I didn't push him away but I said something which made him cry.
"I DON'T, I HATE YOU" I said looking in his eyes which by now was full of tears.
"It's ok but I'll always love you Laurenzo my little boy, take care of your mother give her the love she deserves, find her a better man than a monster like me, that's the only thing I am ever going to ask from you because that's the last you are ever gonna see me my boy " I pushed him away and ran.
(CONTINUE OF THE LAST FLASHBACK)
3rd person's POV
Lauren after hearing her parents arguing run away to her favourite spot, which was just a normal park nearby under the most tallest tree, she felt some kind of unimaginary protection there so often when she was hurt she will go there and cry her pain out, little did the mini Lauren know she will meet her future wife right there and fell in love just by one interaction , it's useless to say her heart was broken now because it was, and who ever saw this little angel can say just by looking at her that she was in pieces, but the world is a selfish place and no one paid any attention to the little girl crying under the tree no one except for Camila.
"Can I sit here?" asked a girl with beautiful brown eyes wearing a dress full of flower and with a bow on her head making her look extra cute a little bit shorter than Lauren holding an unicorn and a dragon toy between her hands.
Lauren wanted to answer but she felt a lump in her throat, not able to talk she looked at the girl and nodded her head
"Thanks" said the little girl making herself comfortable beside Lauren.
"Would you like to play with me?" asked softly the brown eyed girl.
Lauren shook her head, she wasn't in the mood to play right now.
"Would you like to hear a story?" Lauren thought for a moment and nodded her head.
"So this story is about two lovers who were in love searching for the same destination yet there journey wasn't the same, they often get separated in the verge of reuniting but not once they stopped believing in their love for each other .....this story is about the dragon and unicorn, undying love for each other despite every astacol in their way" said the shorter girl showing the green eyed girl the dragon and unicorn and kept on with the story.
"The dragon and unicorn were from different background so everyone were against their love, they knew this but couldn't stop loving each other, they tried few times for the sake of their background but nothing worked, so everyone tried to create misunderstanding and it worked to some extent, the dragon species were known for being powerful,angry and quick to judge, so when some rumors started to reach the dragon ears she always used to get angry thinking they were true till she found the evidence so as always used to go back to the unicorn asking for forgiveness and unicorn being unicorn species of peace always forgave the dragon but when the unicorn realise this need to stop she left the dragon for good"
"And then?" finally the brown eyed girl was able to hear the green eyed girl voice which cracked a little but it was definitely raspy yet sweet.
She turned and said "well there isn't any ending, that's all my mom told and she also said that the ending of the story belongs to us how we want it "
"How do you want?"
"Well in my ending, the dragon will learn from her mistakes, and will work hard for the unicorn's forgiveness and at the end she will have it with the promise of that she will stop with her previous mistake and the dragon will do everything to keep her promise so when they finally reunite they will decided to leave their previous life and start a new one far from this toxic environment."
"I like it but hopefully this time the unicorn won't forgive her easily"
"So why are you sad?" asked all of sudden the brown eyed girl making the green eyed girl a little bit uneasy but something inside her told her to trust the girl next to her and she did.
"My father hates me, he thinks I'M a freak because i'm different from other kids"
"Why do you think like this?"
"I heard him"
"Well listen, it doesn't matter what he thinks and if you are different than that's good because that means you are special and normal is boring anyway " Lauren looked at her and smiled for the first time, she felt a warm sensation surrounding her heart that she didn't knew what was it but now she knows.
It was the sensation of love.
Her first love
"Oh no it's raining" said the girl getting up.
"Camila, come here mija we need to go " Lauren heard a women yelling towards their direction.
"I am coming mom"
"Camila" Lauren repeated the name so she won't forget, indeed she won't. It will stuck in her mind forever.
"It was nice talking to you but i need to go" said Camila running away before Lauren had the chance to say something, all of a sudden she stopped in the middle and run back to Lauren.
"Will you be the unicorn to my dragon?" asked Camila giving Lauren the dragon toy and Lauren nodded accepting making Camila smile the brightest.
Right in that moment she knew that one day she will marry this girl.
END OF FLASHBACK
Lauren know it's kinda stupid falling in love when she didn't even know the actual meaning of love and worse she was only 7 years old not knowing if she will ever meet the girl again or not but truth to be told she couldn't help herself.
She met camila in the most lowest point of her life, when she felt betrayed by her own blood and safe with a stranger who not only helped her live with pride and respect but also made her believe in love again which she was about to give up after seeing her parents.
So seeing the person who helped her find her self respect is now without her's, somehow Lauren felt it's her duty to give camila what she lost.
"But I never talked to you other than the first day in office" Lauren laughed.
"There is a lot more than you think Camila"
"Like your love for me" said Camila making Lauren turn her head and look at her surprised.
"How do you know?"
"It's quite obvious isn't it?"
"Well yeah I never tried to hide it from you did I?" Camila shook her head smiling a little bit
"How can you love someone like me?"
"Let's see how can I LOVE someone with a heart of gold, how can I love someone who is so selfless? How can I love someone so genuine? how can I love someone so misunderstood? truth be told Camila I can give you more 100 reason why I love you but it won't be enough because nothing will make justice to you and most importantly I respect you a lot and it hurts me knowing how much you don't "
"I've never done anything good Lauren so HOW can I be those thing you described about me"
"So you didn't sent your first salary to yemen to help those powerless kids, you didn't volunteer for cleaning the ocean, you didn't cut your hair to donate for people with cancer and you didn't marry me thinking what will happen to those families whom you sent money every month to maintain them right? " One of the main reason for Camila to marry Lauren was her inheritance, if she lost them how was she gonna maintain all the people who were counting on her that's why she even gave up shawn knowing he is one of those people who doesn't give a shit about those unfortunate people and there was no way she could help them without the money.
"How do you-"
"I've been working for the Cabello's long enough to know every little thing about them a little creepy I know"
"You don't understand Lauren everything you are saying right makes me feel so special yet ...I , I just feel so impure"
"Tell me the whole story Camila, I can't help you if you don't" said Lauren looking at Camila who started crying again.
The pain Lauren feels every time she sees the pain in those dark brown eyes once happy and full of life now dull and full of pain is unspeakable, looking at the fragile girl in front of her, she couldn't stop herself from taking the petite girl in her arms.
"It's ok camz take your time" said Lauren stroking her hair.
"It happened a few years back, I was in sophomore year and just started dating Shawn, as much as I remember Pedro alway tried to flirt with me but I never gave him a chance and I know it always frustrated him but honestly what can I do? I never felt anything for him."
I used to party a lot in high school with Shawn, Dinah and Ally we were you know the so called "popular squad' anyway there was this party that I wanted to go after me and Shawn had one of our usual fights just to take my mind off but everyone was busy, Dinah with her girlfriend now ex and Ally with her family so I decided to go myself.
Everything was fine till, Pedro started forcing me to have a drink with him. I refused him a lot of time but he keep insisting till I accepted. I know I am dumb and I still hate myself for it but i was young back then and never gave that much of thought, as you might suspect the drink had something to make me lose my conscious. I tried Lauren I tried so much to fight but it was useless. He kept going and going. I begged him but he didn't stop ..I after that I feel like I am a burden, I told this to Shawn, Dinah and Ally they were so mad, Dinah wanted to kill him but Shawn stopped her because everyone will know which will destroy our most importanly his reputetion, I didn't go against him because at this point I was already broken so them doing anything wouldn't have changed anything because what done is already done, you don't know how much I hated myself for this decision, god knows how many more girls life he destroyed, to afraid to know the truth I never tried killing myself with guilt every day... but today when I saw you beating him. I felt so good but i needed to stop you. I couldn't let you end up in prison for me" she chocked with tears, at this point Lauren was crying too and tightened her arms around her more.
"Look at me, now think if I was in your position will you be disgusted by me?" Camila shook her head not able to talk.
"Then why so much cruelty on yourself"
"I-" NO listen to me nothing that happened was your fault, also if you went in that room and said no to him, it means NO, stop punishing yourself for something you tried to avoid, don't even try to say you are impure because to me you are and you are always gonna be the most purest person ever " said Lauren kissing Camila's tears away.
"As for your mistake, it is never too late to apologise and save some other girls, I'm here with you now and I promise to you I'll find everything enough to free you from this guilt "
"Well everyone is save now, you destroyed his reproductive system no doctor can make it work again he is impotent now" Lauren smiled and said "a little bit of justice has been served my lady" getting up on her feet and bowing down to Camila making camila smile again also in this shitty situation.
"Oh shit it's raining" said Lauren when felt the rain drops on her hand.
"Oh come on get up" said the green eyed beauty trying to pull Camila.
"Can we stay here??" said Camila getting up and wrapping her arms around Lauren, resting her head near Lauren's heart hearing the raven haired girl heart beat increasing every second.
"We can" said Lauren hugging her back under the rain. When the moon is about to disappear and the sun is about to rise holding her like she is the most precious thing ever.
Indeed she is
She is Lauren's life.
a/n
So here it is the longest chapter I've ever written in this story, which is one of the reason I'm late and also I'm not a professional writer nor i belong from somewhere where they speak english but I tried my best to write the moment I imagined between them so sorry in advance if there is any mistake
by the way you guys completed the votes so quickly that I need to make it impossible this time so i have time rest😎 (i worked more than 6 hours in this chapter which is a lot for a lazy ass like mine🤓 )so next update after 88 votes
and also goodluck dailyalison13 editing this🌚