KWON JIYONG
"What the hell do you mean, living together? Do you even know who you are? Her family? Hell. No!"
Here we go. Wearily sitting still, folding hands to ourselves, closing mouths, and getting sermon from the Brother of the Year. Has yet anyone told him that he's absolutely not only Daisies's biological brother, he now also steals the throne and establishes himself as her fucking father? Why is he such a dick insisting to not let me and Daisies live together? Despite of the fact that we're still living in the same place. This is a very unfair absurdity. Who the fuck can I sue to get the lover justice, huh?
"Hyung. We've got back together. And I'm saying for the third times that I am sorry for breaking up with her. This time is different. And we'd really like to move in together," I argue as Daisies beginning to rub her temples.
"You are! You're even living in the same place. Doesn't that call together enough?" Hyung protests.
"Seriously?" I scoff. "She's an adult, Hyung. And she has decided by her own self. Please, respect her decision."
Hyung stares at Daisies for a moment and oppressively sighs before turns back to me. "I don't trust you, alright?"
"Wh—whaaat!?" I burst into sarcastic chuckle. "You don't trust me? And what about a month ago that you agreed with me to let her live with you despite the fact that you didn't even know you're her sibling? Did you have any idea how I was feeling, huh?"
"You begged me, remember?" he reminds me.
"I know! Deep down it was inappropriate for me and I was, too, afraid of you, but I still trusted you enough to live with her. Why this time you don't trust me back?"
"Because you are a freak," he instantly answers, as if he didn't even have to think. "And Bona has only me as a family here. I must to take care of her and I need to scan your behavior first. That's it."
"Hyuuuug!?"
Daisies sighs heavily then hands up in the air. "Alright. Got it. I'll stay with you like the same, okay? No more scanning him or whatever," she apparently says sarcastic to him.
"Great." Hyung grins.
"Whaaat!?" I can't seem to count how many times I've spit this word during this hour.
"We're good, then? K. Bona, let's go to work with me today. I don't want to leave you alone here." He spreads ending up any unfinished subjects by himself, and reaches Daisies's wrist then pulls her out with him. Daisies confusingly looks back at me.
"Hyuuuug!" I shout behind them.
"See ya in minutes at the car," he yells back.
* * *
The same constant works that we usually do during the tour is shooting magazines and music videos. And today, it's our turn for the video one at an abandoned building. I do not regret or even don't mind Hyung tagging Daisies along with us unless I don't have to take a love scene shot with a Russian hot model that she used to—you know, talk with me. (Just talk. That's all. I swear.) And I do know one of his stupid reasons that he pulls his brilliant sister here, is he wants to tease my back. I'm not mad about his idea at all, but agree with him because I get the big point that he doesn't want to leave her alone in the penthouse as she still doesn't get enough better. Having her around and putting our eyes on her are the first thing we all should do for now.
Anyway, all of us are here in the location already. Daisies's gone for toilet, therefore only me and my boys are walking into the set first.
"I heard from staff this morning," Daesong begins. "The Russian model is already canceled."
"Why's she canceled?" Thanks to Youngbae. I was about to ask, anyway.
"Not too much information but kinda like some of her schedule issues accidentally don't link with ours, especially in here. Don't know why."
"Probably because of the re-scheduling of us. That's why she can't be here," T.O.P hyung says.
"And who's gonna shoot with Jiyong hyung today?" Seungri asks. I stay quiet, listening to them filling me in instead.
"I don't know. We're gonna find out after opening the gate. She might be here by now," Daesong says as we all are about to reach the doorway of the building.
"I bet she came. Girls need 25 hours per day for wearing makeup," Youngbae jokes.
"You seem to have lots of this kind of experience, huh?" I tease him.
"Last time, Hyorin stood me up—waiting for her coloring her face for two hours straight just to have a small dinner with me," Youngbae murmurs. "As if you didn't use to have this kind of stuff, dude," he helplessly teases me.
"Not yet." I shrug, half-grin to myself.
I honestly want to boast him that this kind of thing won't actually happen to Daisies and me. I've watched her preparing herself for out-going, especially this morning. She absolutely isn't a materialistic girl at all, but that doesn't mean she's not fashionable like me. All I'm telling is she already has a gorgeous face and a nice figure. She doesn't need too much makeup nor uses a very long term to get a full face-dressing. Daisies has her self aura, and that's why she particularly uses just few minutes to prepare herself before get going out. You may say I am the luckiest boyfriend in the world who doesn't have this kind of boyfriend issue thing—about waiting for girlfriend to dress up or her shopping for hours.
But to be honest, there's still a tiny problem for me, too. As Daisies is not an absolute brand-new fashion girl like I am. She rarely wears high-brand clothes. Maybe never as I've ever seen.
Anyway, I don't genuinely mind at this point, but deep down I just have the feelings about spoiling her as much as I could get for her appropriately. Honestly, I want to give her my money just she ever asks for to afford her problem and get herself the best thing as she deserves, but she doesn't. She's sort of a stubborn person. Long story short, don't worry, I have my way. The way of boyfriend thing should do.
Me and my four boys finally on the set, behind the cameras, meeting the director. We greet and make friends as we're supposed to do. We are talking briefly about our processes.
"Let's see again after you dressed up. I'll check on the camera," the director says. "By the way, I'm not in a rush, though. You guys may have a chat with CL first. I don't really mind about it."
I immediately get wide eyes as hearing the name.
"CL? What's with CL?" Thanks again to Youngbae.
"Oh. I thought you all knew that already." The director looks a bit surprised.
"Knew what?" This time it's definitely me asking.
"CL is now replaced for Angelina Denilova; the Russian model. After I've seen Jiyong and CL's extreme cemetery on the few previous stages together, that's what I thought it'd be a great idea ever to match you two in a scene. Fortunately, she also has a free schedule for us."
Great!
I secretly sigh and T.O.P hyung pats my shoulder cheerfully.
"Oh, there she comes." The director gazes at the doorway. In the same time that I start to hear high-heels clicking against the floor, approaching to us.
We all follow his gaze kind of unwillingly, I glance at CL who walking with a (fake) grin—that seems specially directed for me.
"You all have your time. I'm going." The director says, patting my arm and then fucking leaves himself.
As soon as he left out of our area, and CL is reaching to us, I quickly make a quick complaint to Hyung.
"Did you really know about all of this? That's why you pulled Daisies to kill me here, right?"
Good God, this is how I'll die.
"Trust me, dude. The last thing I want to see now is my sister getting back to where she was two days ago. I promise. I had no clue about this," he whispers, sneakingly eyeing on the one who coming to us. I leer him.
"Annyeong, Oppa." CL forces a smile to all of us, and we (except me) greet her back.
She steps over me. "Ann-yeong, Jiyong oppa."
I close my eyes for a brief second then force myself to give her a fake nod. "Annyeong, Chaelin."
"I'm truly honored working with you so much. I have to thank Angelina for being incapable to be here."
I keep my mouth shut. The conversation begins to be awkward, as if all of us are used to waiting for me to chat with her first. Pardon me, but now I don't do that anymore.
Seungri begins to clear his throat. "Well. We're really pleased to work with you again, too, Chaelin noona. Let's work hard together!"
"Need some air," I simply interrupt, taking myself off.
Daisies needs to get filled in about this by me before someone else does. I am supposed to make a clear word with her. And I believe if I do this personally with her, she'd be totally understanding.
"Wait. Where ya goin? I'm not finished yet," CL breaks off, linking my arm. "C'mon, Oppa. Don't be such a rushy. We still have too much time to catch up." What's with her having so much things to discuss with me?
"CL, please," I whisper, trying to tear her hands politely.
"Hey. Hey." T.O.P hyung fillips me, eyeing behind my back. I mouth him 'Don't be' while hardly putting CL's arms out.
"Guys!"
I turn around, and there're MinAh noona arm in arm with Daisies approaching to us.
And that immediately makes me jerk my hand out from CL successfully. I try to smile at Daisies who glares at me with a look. Someone needs to help me. I'm going to be killed.
"When didn't you all even tell me that Bona is available today?" MinAh noona says when they reach us.
"So what?" I snap, sound like a jerk.
"So what?" she echoes me. "Just so you know, she could be a guest star in your film. Isn't it a good idea? We could increase lots of views on YouTube."
"Yeah. I guess so. That'd be great," Seungri excitedly agrees. I turn to him with an 'if you spit any word one more time, I swear to God I'm gonna be pulling all of your teeth out' look. Then he immediately bites his tongue.
I slightly turn to MinAh noona. "I don't think so, Noona. She's not feeling great for today."
"Yeah. She kinda feels sick. Maybe we could have a deal next time," Hyung also suggests.
"Bona's sick? Haven't you taken some pills yet? Please God bless you." CL says, placing a palm over her chest.
"She'll be fine," Seungri assures politely before adding. "By the way, Bona doesn't believe in god." And he starts to rub the back to his neck shyly. "Anyway, I remembered it from the TV show that she's ever appeared."
What an inalienable jerk.
"Oh! Really? That sounds so odd," CL comments.
Daisies half grins then turns to MinAh noona. "You know what, I'm totally fine by now. It wouldn't be so hard to take some shots with them, would it?"
MinAh noona impressively whimpers, holding Daisies's hands to her chest. "Really? You can really join with us? That's very kind of you."
I begin to argue. "I don't think it's a good idea enough. Please just—."
"So who I'm gonna have shots with?" And I am not finished since Daisies casually turns to MinAh noona and pisses me off, apparently.
Seriously? I try to make a look at my girl, but she's not even glancing at me; as if I wasn't even here.
"Hmm. Let me ship some of you first," MinAh rubs her chin thoughtfully.
"What about me?" I bring myself into her choices after I seem unable to win this argument that it loos like only me and Hyung who don't buy this shitty idea.
"No way, Jiyong ah. The director is freaking proud to present you and CL together. You're the first one who is cut off of my choice," MinAh says. Great!
CL makes an impressive sound and links her hands around my arm again. Daisies unemotionally glances down at our wrongful touching then rolls her eyes. I promptly put CL's glued arms away.
"Maybe you can choose whoever you want to have shots with. As long as you show in BIGBANG's video, that would be a big legend enough, anyway," MinAh says.
"Oh. Thank you. What about I'm shooting with Seungri." Daisies aims at Seungri before secretly smirks at me in her last words. "He particularly looks pretty cool one."
What? Hell? Fucking no!
To be honest, I really want to pull her out now and fuck her until she couldn't gaze at anybody except me. Not like the way I'm forcing to look at her normally and trying to keep my hands to myself.
"Really?" Seungri excitedly exclaims.
"Of course Seungri. You're always my first choice." Daisies grins and I can't describe how Seungri is over the moon by now. Though I'm trying to spread a damaged aura out to him, but it absolutely ain't work.
"That's great. Let's have the change. Bona, come with me. Go-go!" MinAh says, taking Daisies with her.
KIM BONA
Ugh! What an annoying bitch. Why does she keep being around our lives all the time? And how can't her hands even keep on herself and why she's constantly bitching around as if GD's girlfriend is her, not me? It is so annoying.
And why does it have to be him and her? Not him and me. This is the major annoying thing for me. Well, I mean...am I not really supposed to take shots with GD? Don't I look good enough? Or maybe if I am trying to defend myself, it would be about the humor thing of me and him. That's probably why we can't be spotted in the same work. But hello? We are still in the same film, though. I hated the way these people are attracted to them. At first, I just had a feeling to make him jealous. But now I am jealous instead. Ugh! I shouldn't have come here at the first place.
"Bona. Here's your dress." MinAh slams the fitting room door behind her, and hands me a white Midi dress in a plastic bag.
"Wow. It's so lovely." It really is. And I can tell it's usually my style.
"Right? It's amazing. Jiyong just passed me to you. This is his first women's clothes that he desired last week. Pretty cool, right?"
"What? GD desired this?"
"Yeah. He stretched it and sent it to our tailors. And you know, he wanted the Russian model to wear it in his MV at first. But when she can't come. He thinks it's supposed to be yours."
I half-chuckle. "Really? Maybe if I wasn't here, he would've given to CL."
"Oh, c'mon. Don't be such a jealousy. As long as I've worked with him. I didn't even see him being so in love like this before. He definitely loves you. I swear. Plus, this isn't really CL's size at all. It's yours. Got it?" MinAh cheerfully says and I nonchalantly smile. "Then go try it on. I'll go to check on the boys and be right back for a sec."
"Got it." And I take the dress to the closet area.
Wait. I don't want to be such a fashionable or even serious. But the more I'm looking myself in the mirror as wearing the dress, the more I can't see the suitable stuff between the dress and the location at all. This dress and crown get me feeling like walking among the flowers, not in the abandoned building.
Anyway, I'm really feeling a bit irritated about if I hadn't come here, the Russian girl would surely have worn it and that's what I would be mentally unacceptable.
"Ooh, nice dress," says a voice from behind.
I don't even turn around just yet, just looking through the mirror. Seeing a fake smile grows over CL's face.
Forcing a smile, I tell myself to turn to her directly, even if I don't want to. "Thanks."
She's now wearing full makeup and also a red Maxi dress. Her boobs are obviously so big and they look gushing out from the dress and could hit into my face while we're standing face to face here.
"You look great in red." I try to be polite.
"Oh, you wish." She hands over her chest and chuckles. "But thanks a lot. GD loves red, so that's why I chose this dress. Great, huh?"
"Yeah. Definitely." I half-grin and extremely half chuckle.
Sometimes this woman gets me wondering if I am stealing her boyfriend while they are on a break or something.
"By the way, I wanted to make a word with you. Would you mind?"
I shake my head a little, inhaling. Keep smiling, Daisies. KEEP BLOODY SMILING.
"Not at all. Go ahead." I gesture a hand for her to start.
"Well. You know, I am really sorry that you two can't be on set together. You know how bad I feel."
Please stop handing over your chest and making that bitch noise. I'm throwing up.
"Oh, please."
She shouldn't be a singer, she should have been the greatest actress. I'm stepping my foot voting by now.
"But I might as well remind you about how famous our sailing is...you know?" Sailing? "Our fans. There's a lot of people shipping us. GD and I have a lot in common." She's making a rough face which I can't really be into it, and then she reaches for my hand to her chest, out of the blue.
"Don't you worry about us, though. I am really fine. I understand about the whole duties of this career, you know." I say with a nonchalant smile. Wanting to rip my hand back to myself so badly.
"Yes. That's what I want to hear. The shippers—well, they called themselves 'Skydragon' I think, haha. They really love us and don't want to see us separating each other to have the boyfriend-girlfriend thing, you know."
"C'mon." Sorry for a minimal word. I'm going to throw up again.
"And I am really sorry again for that night, by the way. At the party. It breaks my heart to let you see me and him like that. But please. Please. Try to understand. We have nothing to catch up on at all. We're friends."
It gives me feel like her words are quite like Barbie movies, but her tone and reaction completely are out of the league.
"Sure. I, well, I was drunk. I didn't really remember then. But thank you for your honor, though," I say, forcing a smile as much as I could.
"Aww. What a nice girlfriend," she says, giving me an one-armed hug. I can tell, she's pouting as hugging me for sure. For an instant, she pushes me backwards a little with a fake smile as always. "Ooh, by the way, would you mind if I have to take some love scene with GD?"
"Of course not. I really, genuinely understand." Mellow down, Daisies. Don't punch her in the face. She's leaving so soon.
"You don't know how kind you are. I better go now. See ya."
"See ya," bitch!
* * *
Here I am now, on the top of the high staircase in the middle of the courtyard. It's height around two meters, I think. Kind of high, though. Besides the staircase that I'm standing on alone, there's a bunch of people. It's a part of the scene that Seungri has to act like walking up into me like a prince coming up to the Rapunzel in her tower, you know. Basically, my character in this scene was supposed to be some any stun girl—as it has nothing to do but stand alone on top of the staircase and let everybody around move their movements. And I think I can finish this easy scene in one take.
"You sure. You're okay with this. Is it too sunny?" T.O.P half shouts from the downstair. He's so warm and charming, and definitely takes care of me so well. He's actually supposed to be on his another set in minutes, but still comes through to check on me one last time. To be honest, I quite don't mind that no one comes to baby me, I am a grown-up, but don't you think GD supposes to be here, too?
"Of course, Oppa. I'm really okay with this. It's just the light-headed. Just taking some minutes," I say, kneeling down and gripping the rail. "Plus, Seungri is here too. We're gonna be fine."
"Yeah. Don't worry, Hyung. It's my turn to take care of her," Seungri says enthusiastically. T.O.P snorts at him.
"Alright. I've got your back. I gotta go now," T.O.P says and turns around before jumping back again. "Sorry, I already almost forgot. Here's your crown. Jiyong leaves me your stuff."
"What's the crown?" I ask as he digs into his coat. Then he hands on a flower crown to me—well, a daisy crown.
"He said he wants you to wear in on while filming. Well, I better get going."
"Take care." I grin. He nods and then leaves.
"Alright. I'm taking action in a second. Everybody ready?" the director beefs up us through the megaphone.
I quickly take a look on the daisy crown in my hand thoroughly. There's also a tiny notepad tugging in it.
'I wish I could be there with u by now.
Hang in there. I'll take mine quick
and come to see u in the beautiful dress.
P.s. you already know that I love u?'
He really never lets me be mad at him for too long. Besides, he constantly makes me fall for him everyday.
I shove the note in my bar then put a crown on my head and force myself to stop smiling while this scene supposes to not have any grin except putting a rotten face on.
"Okay, Bona. Turn your back. And when the song comes on, you wait until the lyrics 'if you' comes then you turn around, okay?" the director commands me, and I reply 'okay' back with an 'O' finger gesture.
"Keep fighting, Bona ya," Seungri yells from downstairs.
"You too, silly." And we exchange our thumbs up.
"Alright. Then...3..2..1, action!"
As hearing the director commanding enthusiastically, I quickly turn my back towards the steps. And then the song starts to come on.
너도 나와 같이 힘들다면
우리 조금 쉽게 갈 수는 없을까
있을 때 잘할 걸 그랬어
오늘같이 가녀린 비가 내리는 날이면
너의 그림자가 떠오르고
This absolutely isn't the song I've written with GD before, and I certainly never ever listened. The lyrics, the intro are obviously unfamiliar. As I'm listening, this part is definitely Daesong's voice. I thought it was going to be some other songs. By the way, this song is a ballad one with sad lyrics that I can't catch up on but feel into it.
I can't even seek a time to complain about the song. It's a really great song, though. And I can tell GD wrote it, even if I don't know what it means as it is certainly the Korean lyrics. But I can remember the rhyme, the style, or even his feelings in this.
서랍 속에 몰래 넣어둔 우리의 추억을
다시 꺼내 홀로 회상하고
'Our memories that I secretly put in my drawer
I take them out and reminisce again by myself'
I have no clue why I'm being able to translate the whole Korean lyrics in my mind. I swear I am still dumb about this language. But when it comes to this song, especially his song. Why do I can get it inadvertently?
헤어짐이란 슬픔의 무게를
난 왜 몰랐을까
'Why didn't I know about the weight of sadness that comes with breaking up?'
There's full of Korean. But why I'm still able to translate them mentally?
I started to get into the song one by one word. Beginning to float with it softly and I already forget where I am or what I'm exactly doing for a while and focus on the lyrics.
I'm really feeling into the middle of pages of someone's novel, or anything. I don't know. All I know is I'm floating with the song playing on and there's no one with me but myself...among the flowers.
If you (if you), if you (if you)
아직 너무 늦지 않았다면
우리 다시 돌아갈 수는 없을까
IF YOU
IF YOU
If it's not too late
Can't we get back together?
...it's his part...GD's part.
Then I slightly hear the familiar voice shouts behind me.
"Hello. Is anyone here? I can't see anything. Please help me."
I then around around. And what I'm looking at now is GD, standing few feet apart among a bunch of...daisies. There's no one around except two of us.
He's using his hand cupping against his forehead; as if it is too sunshine for him. And I can tell that I begin to actually feel the sunny shining on him.
"There's too sunshine. Could you take me to the shade?" he yells.
"Sure," I say through my breath. Hang in there. I'll get you.
I take a few steps slowly and he seems like hearing my steps. He then starts to walk approaching to me while still bending his hand against his forehead. So I stop walking and watch him come to me.
I'm here. Come here, baby.
Then he stops and yells for helping again. "Hello. Is anyone here?"
"I'm here, Oppa!" I shout and brainlessly take few steps to him.
He slightly lowers his hand down and then starts to look at me. He's smiling and I know that what I'm living for. He glances underneath where I am walking. In the same time that I don't even care about anything at all, but look at my favorite man.
Then he excitedly shouts, "Watch out your steps!"
...And then everything shuts.
KWON JIYONG
"Too close," I say through my teeth as CL is sitting on my lap and trying to nuzzle into my nose. We are shooting the tangling bed scene together which I wish I could do this until the end without freaking out yet.
"We used to be closer than this, remember?" CL whispers against my ear.
Keep going, Jiyong. So then you can head to Daisies very soon.
For Daisies. For her. Just do this quickly.
"So. I heard you got back to that American girl again?"
"Please stop. We're still shooting," I whisper, pretending friendly for the aesthetic scene and slightly tug her hair behind her ear.
She grins professionally. "C'mon. You know that's what he told us to do."
I softly chuckle. "Yeah. I do know. But let's talk something else."
"Sure, baby," She runs fingers through my bangs. "So...did she know you just crawl back to my room last week?"
I grab her hand out and hold it against my chest. It's just work. Just work, Jiyong. "Please," I impatiently say through my teeth.
"Please. Get her out of your life very soon before I can't bite my tongue anymore, okay?" she says through her breath, smiling at the camera.
CL gently cups my face and then she's about to kiss me that basically we just act like we did—which actually we don't. And won't. Just the camera trick thing, you know.
"Emergency. Emergency!" Someone barely bawls nearby, through the music. "...fell from the staircase. Bona fell from..."
And that makes me push CL away as she's getting to really kiss me.
I jump to my feet without even second thoughts.
"Who did you just mention? Who did fall from the staircase!?" I dare yell during the camera turning on and everything still on the way of shooting.
KIM BONA
My legs are numb, and I can barely feel them moving expertly. Falling from the two meters staircase isn't a joke at all. Classic Daisies ever. Luckily, Seungri was saving me at the right time before I extremely fell to the ground with my own legs.
I was out of control and was daydreaming that it completely felt so real. And what am I supposed to tell anyone about why I pushed myself down the stairs that there was even no one stood with me? It's literally absurd and nonsense. What I told them eventually that seems less idiotic, is my trail blinded me so that I didn't see where I was standing. I know it sounds inconsequent, but that what my tiny brain could process in that moment.
Except from Seungri and the staff who stayed with me at the first place, T.O.P was the first one who ran along to me after he heard some manager spread things out. And I can't help feeling embarrassed, though.
Anyway, GD was the last one who came through while T.O.P carried me to his stomach. He was so excited and tried to get to me. But that moment I was settled to the Ambulance and we couldn't even make a word since the staff didn't let him come with me to the hospital. I genuinely have no idea why he wouldn't let him to do so. But to reminisce positively, he might be unfinished his scene yet, isn't he?
Long story short, T.O.P has been with me all the time until right here and right now; in a resting room in the hospital. And I have been cured and wrapped with few gauze pads around where my legs got scratched. T.O.P got off to the car first, and I am waiting for staff to get upstairs to pick me up later. (Just in case that you might wonder, we're just afraid we might get caught by the paparazzi. That is it.)
All of the sudden, as I'm waiting patiently, trying to stand up, there's a gentle knock on a door before comes with my mom's voice.
"Hey."
I decide to sit still as turn to see her uptight face.
"Hi," I simply greet back.
"T.O.P called me," she says, staring at my legs.
"It was nothing, actually. But thank you for coming, Mom," I say.
"Sure." She bends down to examine my legs closely. When she recognizes that it's really nothing to be worried like I said, she then flops herself down on a chair next to mine.
"Can you even walk?"
"Of course. No worries. It just takes some times to get up first," I admit.
"Great." And she doesn't ask me too much questions like my dad always does, especially when I got pains. I won't blame her, though. To be honest, I kind of understand about being tongue-tied as she is. We are particularly not in touch for my whole life. She's barely my mom for actually. Therefore, seeing her coming through to check on like this, is quite unexpected for me enough. I feel sort of grateful, though.
"Can I talk? If you're not ready, I understand," she asks, even looks softer than usual. And I do realize what she's going to talk about.
"Of course," I agree firmly, not feeling afraid to being heart to heart anymore.
"Well, uhm..you know." Mom clears her throat. "That night...it's kinda been rough for you. I uhm—."
"I get it. I'm okay by now."
"I know, Kim. I've been sorry every day for you. I know I'm fucked up. Shouldn't have mentioned anything just because I wanted to hurt them."
I half-chuckle. "You think it was just them who got hurt about this truth?"
Mom sighs heavily. "I know. I know. Just listen to me first, okay? I'm trying to be easy on you. And you know I'm not even kind of a patient person."
I know. That's what I am too. That's what I got from you.
And I just nod, shut up.
"Good," she says. I know she's trying her best. "Well. It, too, hurts me, and I can't take it back even if how hard I wanted to."
I stay silent, staring at the floor, and wait patiently for her to excuse herself for what she did.
"And I know I lied to everyone for your whole life. I was too young and I didn't have too much of choice. But all I knew was I didn't ever want to abort you."
Nodding.
"Did Dad really know about this?" I finally say when there's a pause that I quite seem able to make a word.
"No. He never knows."
I nod again, bending my head down. "Do you think how he's gonna react when he knew about this?"
"I...I dunno. That's why I daren't tell him," she mutters.
"Someday he gotta know."
"Yeah. I get it. We can't shut his ears for all of his lives."
"You know what." I look up at her. "I'm not even guilty for myself at all...well, probably just a little. But all I am uptight is I have ruined his life just because he needed to be my dad. He deserved to have his life but he couldn't. Sometimes I feel you should have aborted me at the first place."
"Kim..." Her voice sounds shaky, though I am not looking at her. "I—uhm..." She hardly tries to continue, despite of she already knows what I just said is right.
"I am sorry. I really am." She covers her face with her two hands, breathlessly sniffing.
Honestly, I don't know what to do or even comfort her. I basically thought she was going to have more reasons than this.
"I don't want to be involved with anyone here, okay? Especially him. It'd be really grateful if he forgot what you told. Perhaps, you could tell him that you were lying or anything. Just do whatever that he won't come into my life again. I want everything to get back to the same even if it already sucked...it sucked but I wasn't hurt."
"I get it. I understand, Kim." She squeezes my knee softly as a teardrop on her face. "And about the money—you know. I gave up for you."
"No. I'll repay you. He got drugs because of me."
"No. No. It was me. And I didn't want to get your money at the first place. I just used it for the reason to pull you here. You shouldn't stay there alone. But this times...if you can't live here anymore, I understa—."
"I want to stay here," I confess and Mom quite gets caught off guard.
"You what?"
"Well. I decided to stay here—Korea for a little while. Just few years I think. And I just moved in with GD. I...err...I'm in love with him." I begin to look at her and she looks a little bit surprised with her bloodshot eyes.
"I didn't think you two were even serious."
"Yes, we are," I reassure her. "Can I stay here with him, though?"
"And you won't get back to America? What about your work there?"
That's a very tough question for me, though. Honestly, I am still processing it.
I clear my throat hardly. "Just a couple of years or maybe as long as I feel I've taken a break enough."
Mom bites her bottom lip and goes mute for a second. I can tell, she's certainly trying to form the memories and the proper words for me.
"Okay," she says. "If that's just what you're asking for."
To be honest, she quite makes me surprised that she's been so easy for me for even the very first times during lately. We actually never talk and end well, normally we'd rather end up with arguments or separate each other for having our each time to think for a while.
"Thank you." I hesitate. "And about your job that you gave me. I'll be continuing it till the end. I don't have anything to work yet, by the way."
"Great. I'm glad you stay here. If that boy dumped you, don't hesitate to get back to me, okay? Or call me or anything. I'll definitely be hunting him if he hurts you."
I half-laugh.
"Thank you, Mom." I give her a soft grin, and then I glance at a staff, just arrived at the door with a wheelchair.
I look at Mom and she stares at me with a sorry look. I know she's uptight.
"I gotta go," I say and hardly stand up by myself. Mom gets up and carefully helps me.
A staff comes to help, but I politely wave for him.
When I'm about to sit up on the wheelchair, I give Mom an one-armed hug. She's surprised but hugs me back eventually.
"No matter what, I can't decline that you're my mom. I love you," I whisper, pretty sure just her who hears it. I slightly sense the water falling down on my shoulder, and I do know that moment, she's gratefully crying.
KWON JIYONG
"Hyung. Wake up."
I nearly jump, trying to get my mind to myself. I was napping on the couch of Seungri's living room.
"Did she come yet? Did she come yet?" I excitedly ask Seungri.
"Yeah. She's getting off the car. Get yourself together. I'm gonna go get her and the plan starts then."
"'Kay, thanks. I owe ya," I say then quickly adjust my hair properly.
After Daisies got an accident and the CL thing—you know. I have to kiss and make up. And luckily I have my brilliant bandmates. They settled to take Daisies for having a dinner at Seungri's and we will seek me some time with her for making up. It sounds fucking ordinary and I know. But trust me, I never let any girl down for a long way term.
"She came in," Daesong whispers as walks past me to Daisies, having a word with her. "Hey. I was so worried 'bout you. How're your legs, huh?"
I watch them chitchat in silence, try to be as cool as I could manage. In the meantime, as I scan at my girl in few feet away, I can't help feeling awful as seeing a few gauze pads around her legs. Though I'm thrilled that she doesn't look that bad and even able to stand on her own feet there.
A few seconds later the boys got out from the room to the kitchen; as we already planned. They finally leave me and her alone in Seungri's living room.
"Hey," she simply says. I'm kind of amazed that she did greet me first.
"Are you alright?"
"Totally." She nods with a half-grin.
"Listen...um...er...here goes." I raise my two hands above my head and make a glum face, try to look as if a prisoner begging for a reprieve. "I am sorry. Please forgive."
She's a bit caught off guard and then Seungri's voice shouts down the Kitchen. "Please forgive him. He sucks but let's give him a chance."
"Fuck off!" I yell back as gesturing a sorry.
Daisies bursts into laughter casually—shoulder shaking, one eye closed and a fist on her lips. I can't help but laugh along with her. She reaches, putting my hands down to my sides.
"I was gonna sorry you first, actually," she says, still laughing.
"Sorry for what? It's my fault."
"No. It's mine too. I was, too, jealous. I'm sorry."
"Maybe we're both sorry," I say.
"Please rush your time. I'm hungry!" Seungri yells again. And second later there's following with his hurt groan, and I don't even guess what is happening in the kitchen.
"Okay. Let's get hurry," Daisies says, chuckles adorably.
"Please don't. Just ignore him."
"I'm already not mad at you, though."
My shoulders lifting, I smile. "Really?"
"Sure. Are we cool? I'm hungry too, by the way," She teases and I chuckle.
"Couldn't be cooler." I smile, kissing my girl. I have to thank Seungri for this awful plan. Even though it sucked but it went totally well, anyway.
* * *
"I told my mom about living together with you," Daisies says after getting back from showering.
"You did? When?" I ask. Still can't believe we are actually living together and T.O.P hyung finally gave us a nod, even though I personally had to make a thousand promises to him with everything I could do in his freaking biased world.
"This evening. She came to check on me," she says, going into the closet and I follow her.
"She did? And what she said? Did you have a fight with her?"
"Not at all. We ended up with a hug, by the way." She turns to beam at me for a second before opening her wardrobe. My heart can't stop beating faster as she's actually opening it. By the way, I'm not excited that she's actually living with me and having an actual wardrobe for herself that I gave her, though. It's something else.
"Great. That means you two—you know. Cool now?" I try to be cool, leaning against the side of the wardrobe.
"Yeah...hmm...what's this?" Daisies digs her head forwards into her wardrobe.
"What's what?" I smile, dare ask her even if I already know what it is.
She perks up with a blue velvet tiny box in her hand. "This?"
"I don't know. A key for your new wardrobe?" I shrug casually and she frowns. Then I nod toward the box. "Open it."
And she does what I told. After she opens and studies it thoroughly, she then looks up at me with a shocked look.
"Are you...proposing—."
"No. No. No," I immediately refuse. "It's too soon, baby."
"Oh..." Her face looks disappointing a little.
"Here it is." I begin, taking the box from her and rip out a ring from it. "This is not an engage ring yet."
I then reach for her right hand and slightly put the ring into her ring finger.
"So what does this mean?" She asks with a pleasant smile.
"We wait until we're sure, okay? So then I'll be switching it into your other hand," I say, placing a soft kiss on the back of her hand.
Daisies covers her mouth with her free hand, seems like she's about to cry in any second. "I...I haven't even given you anything. You did such an overwhelming thing for me."
"Trust me. You gave me much more than I did, baby. I gave you this, to make you sure that you can believe in me. No matter how many people I'm meeting or working with or anything. I just wanted you to know that I'm yours, and it's always been you who I chose to be the number one."
"I will always believe in you. You don't even need to give me this. It's gotta be you, too," she says with tears.
"I don't make this just for us, but it's just for you too," I say, wiping her tears with my thumb. "This ring will remind you when you're being scared or even having a nightmare. Just take this ring with you and let yourself know that there is always me being beside you. And you don't have to scare or feel alone or need any plaster to heal yourself...I'm right here...saving you."
She sniffs and smiles at once. I can't help but adore it. "I really love and appreciate it. Thank you, Oppa."
I half-chuckle. Don't know why my heart goes beating faster every time she calls me that. I open my arms and she smiles before coming into them. Her fresh scent becomes like mine, and I don't even bored, but want to smell her body every single day.
"You know what?" She perks her head backwards a little, still in my arms.
"What, Dais?" I ask, giving her a forehead kiss.
"The exact reason I fell down from the staircase isn't the way that I couldn't see it. I lied," she says with a grin. I raise my eyebrows, tightening the embrace, waiting for her to continue. "I was daydreaming. When your part came on, I turned around and there was you...standing among the daisies."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You were yelling for helping about there was too sunshine for you."
Why am I sensing that I have learned this story before?
"Keep going." I quite feel something particular.
"Nah. It was actually nothing." She shakes her head a little. "You just kept asking to help you out to the shade. It was 'Is anyone here? There's too sunshine. Could you—."
"'Could you take me to the shade?'" I finish her sentence.
"...yah. How could you know it?" She's surprised, and I can tell she's not feeling like this alone.
It takes me for a few brief seconds to recognize what she told me, and then I slightly burst out chuckle.
"I know it's funny, right?" She laughs innocently—closing one eye, arms shaking.
"Not at all." Can this be called destiny? As there's no one who makes my rules except my own self...and her. I carefully cup her face and plant a kiss on her smooth lips.
"Do you wanna hear me confess something fun?" I slide a stool out from the dressing table and sit on it. I'm perfectly sure it's going to be long story and extremely catches my girl out off guard.
"Hm? Confess what?" Daisies grins and sitting down on my lap, wrapping her legs around my waist. Does this girl ever know if she's riding on me with only a short towel around her like this, what else we're going to end up?
"Well. It's gonna be kinda long story...but I think I shoulda rush it," I say, rubbing her bare collarbone. I call tell I'm no longer being talkative just for now anymore.
"C'mon. Don't open a can of worms. Tell me everything."
"Okay...it was about when my forehead got pain from the headboard—you know. I was dreaming..." I pause, staring at her boobs, wondering it's been days I technically haven't seen them without any clothes on. "Okay. I'm done. I have an exact dream like you. That's all, okay? So let's get go straight to the bed."
"What? That's what all of your confession?...wait. I'm not wearing pyjamas yet."
"Wearing for what? You're gonna have to take them off, anyway," I say while lifting her upand head straight to the bedroom...well, you know...our bedroom now.