The girls and I went out to shop today, we didn't go to school just to help Honami out. Kidding, classes were suspended because the teachers had something to do so we were given the day off. We're out to help her buy things for her baby and to buy everything she's been craving for.
Honami's nearing her fifth month and the baby bump is getting more obvious! I want to see her baby once she goes into labor, I wonder what she'd be naming her child. She's still down so we tried to cheer her up, we're currently asking her what she'd name the baby.
"I'll ask Tora.." She says, pausing when she realized what she said. "I-I'll see what I can name my baby.. I don't know the gender yet."
Seeing her still including him despite everything, hurts my heart. Maybe we really shouldn't look too positive over everything, people we expected to be with for a very long time could leave any moment in our life. But I hope, that everything will go well. For me, and for my friends.
"Honami, you have us." Maki gave her a kiss on the cheek and linked their arms. "It's a surprise to us that your parents didn't scold you."
"They're fond of Tora.. we just went downhill all of a sudden." It must be really difficult to be pregnant all on your own and without the man you love. "I-I know we'll get back together.. He just needs to calm down.." She says, eyes suddenly filled with tears from the sound of his name.
I do hope they get back together, aside from them being my favorite couple among us, I know that they both love each other. There's just something that needs to be cleared out. Yamamoto must've really thought that Fukunaga would do that.
We're at the department store to buy clothes, she said she'll get for both genders. She really should've gotten an ultrasound for it, but hey, her family's rich as hell so I guess simple clothing wouldn't cost much.
Even when I'm not the one who's bearing a child, I'm getting so excited just from picking out the clothes. Oh! Shoes! Tiny baby feet will be wearing these! I showed them to Honami and she chuckled at how excited I was, well I will be the aunt or the godmother to that child so... might as well spoil him or her.
The boys said they'll catch up, I'd have to leave for a checkup. From what I could remember, Kenma said that the checkup would be on his birthday which is next week. I don't know maybe they rescheduled? I do hope they did, I wouldn't want his birthday to be spent at a hospital!
I'm alone at an isle, seeing more cute little onesies that I think the baby would look adorable in. I saw a pink one and there were apples on it, reminds me of an apple pie that Kenma loves. I got the yellow one instead, it was cuter than the pink one. Honami loves yellow so, I got it.
I'm walking back to my friends, searching for them everywhere when I suddenly bumped into someone. "I'm so sorry." I tell the guy, bowing as I continued apologizing. "I'm really sorry."
"It's fine." He said.
The guy must be rich, he has a Rolex on, Balenciaga's and more expensive things. He dusted his shoes right in front of me and I felt incredibly awkward. He's like a Kenma— the kind before we became friends and got together.
"Those must mean a lot to you.." I say, pointing to his shoes.
"They're just decorations, it's fine." He said before turning around to leave. I must be stupid because I still bowed even when he already left.
A hand suddenly grabs mine and a kiss landed on the side of my head. I smile as I turn to him, getting a kiss on the cheek. Kenma took the basket from me, cheeks turning red from the sight of the baby things. He must be thinking of.. uhm.. a little him and me.
"You went all the way, Honami must be stoked to have a friend like you." He says, as he looked at them one by one.
"Are you stoked to have a girlfriend like me?" He smiled, giving me a kiss on the tip of my nose.
We found the others, and I think I'm not the only one who went all out. Maki got the most, well they are the original best friends.. I'm only the 'plus one.' I smiled at the sight of Honami's eyes sparkling as she checked the baskets. Her mom told her to get everything, we just did what she said.
Lev was asking about what type of diapers he should be getting, he's seriously just staring at the shelves in front of him. Honami went ahead and did it herself, Lev was frozen. I actually think that we shouldn't have made the boys come, Kuroo-san and Yamamoto's not here, it's unfair for the two.
I told Kenma we could go to the hospital once we brought Honami home, but she was fetched by her driver so he and I went ahead for the checkup. Mom and dad are busy today so, he filled in the empty spaces. I'm happy that I have him.. when I feel lonely he just shows up.
My parents have been very strange to me. They always avoided the talk of money, they don't say no to me asking for money and would just give either cash or card. They're hiding something from me and I know that, it's obvious but they just keep saying everything's fine.
We're in the train, just waiting for us to the station near the hospital. Kenma's playing my game for me, I couldn't pass the level. He might just play the rest of the game for me. He told me to rest and take a nap, him caressing my arm made it easy to fall asleep.
Looking at all of my friends' relationships made me wonder about us. Will we stay the way we are or will we be at the brink of breaking up? I really do hope that nothing happens to us, I can't.. I don't want any of us to get hurt. If it was temporary pain then it'd be fine, a small argument is fine but most definitely no to breakups.
We got to the hospital and the doctor said we should wait, I got the IV thingy again. She said I needed it. Kenma turned pale when she said that I was low in some vitamin or whatever. He threw questions at me the moment she left.
"Love, I'm fine.." He placed a hand on my forehead, moving it down to my neck to check my temperature. "Kenma, I'm really fine."
"This is because you spend too much time on your paperwork." He complained, crossing his arms right in front of his chest. "Your eyes are red.." He cupped my cheek and caressed it with his thumb, pressing a kiss on my forehead.
What am I feeling? I feel so sad right now. "You love me, right?" Why am I tearing up? Kenma's just right in front of me but he feels so distant. Why do I feel like he's going to be away?
"I do." He stood from his chair and hugged me tight. I'm scared.
I kind of get what he felt the other day, he was scared of something too. It's getting to me. I suddenly feel so scared of letting him go and not seeing him for just one second. Not just him, but everyone else. It's so sudden that I don't ever want to let go of anyone.
"(Y/n)." I'm still just crying on his chest, humming in response because it's the only option I have. "Do you remember what I promised you?
I move a bit back to look at him. He promised so many things that I don't even know what he's talking about. I shake my head as I wiped my cheeks. He bent down and kissed my lips, planting a kiss on my bottom lip.
"I'll be here no matter what." He cupped my cheek, pressing a kiss on my cheek.
For some reason, the more I got closer to him, the more I was able to know how he felt just by looking at his eyes or the tone of his voice. Even when he's trying to hide it from me, I could tell that he's lying right away. Even with a kiss, I can tell that he himself is frightened by whatever is going on.
I had to calm down when a nurse suddenly entered. She was just smiling at us and she even said that everything will be fine, I forced a smile but my heart still feels so heavy. She gave me medication of some sort, I don't know what it was but she just said it was for me to calm down. I felt sleepy after drinking it.
Kenma laid in bed with me because I asked him to. He panicked when I suddenly had trouble breathing, what the hell did they give me? Or maybe this was really supposed to be what should be happening? It's like I suddenly got a fever.
I'm currently in a patient gown, almost completely bare underneath. I'm just in my underwear, couldn't wear a bra though, I'm suffocating. "What the hell did they give you?" He pulled me up and I leaned on him, trying my best to breathe.
"A-Allergies.. I can't.. t-take those p-pills.." I snuggled closer to get comfortable, I feel like I'm about to die. "C-Call the d-doctor.."
"I can't leave you here.." I tried to push him off, falling to the bed. "(Y/n)..." I gestured him to go and he hesitated before leaving the room.
My vision got blurry and I fell unconscious before they even got to me. All I ever did was worry Kenma, all he's ever seen of me is fall unconscious and fight for my life. I can't imagine how many times we've ended up in an infirmary or a hospital. This is all that he's ever seen.
What if I should just forget everything? I wouldn't have to stay and worry him. He wouldn't have to make himself stress over my well being, it's better that way. Is it? Just imagine if Kenma was just enjoying his time with me, but maybe he expected too much from me.. I can't give him happiness without worries.
It feels weird. I feel light. My surrounding's just plain white. Is this just a dream or am I dead? I'm stupid most of the times but, my allergic reaction to the sleeping pills.. I think that was anaphylaxis. They said it's deadly, so maybe I am dead. No one would have to worry anymore.
"Heaa, look at this!" It's small Kenma again, and the little girl. The one who jumped off the building, I'm glad she's fine. "When we went out to play, you liked this one.." Apple pie?
"Thank you! I really loved it.." She's happy, she's genuinely happy. Her smile is bright like the sun, it's contagious. "Kenma, there's a stuff toy.. it's for you." It's a teddy bear.
"K-Kenma.. I made you this.." It's the other girl, she tried to catch his attention but he didn't notice. She's sad. "You only ever look at her.."
What the hell is this children's drama? A love triangle right from the start? Kenma you are one famous youngster. But my heart hurts for the other girl, she's just asking for her friend's attention. Who are these kids?
Everything suddenly became void. My surroundings shifted from white to a film, Kenma's memory, to pitch black. My eyes shot open when I felt oxygen flow in me, I have a mask on. I can finally breathe, he doesn't have to worry about my breathing anymore.
As how it's always been, Kenma's sleeping with his head on he edge of the bed, hand holding mine tight. I pull away from his grip, brining it to his hair to brush my fingers through it. You've been holding up pretty well, I've done nothing but end up in a hospital bed.
My temperature has died down and I'm back to normal, my checkup suddenly turned into this. Ha, what if nothing happened to the two of us? Maybe he wouldn't have to be here, watching me struggle with my health. I should've said no when I still had a chance.
The nurse came in and I put my finger up to my mouth, smiling as I gestured her not to speak loudly. She went up to my side, giving me a bow and a tray of food. "H-He got mad.. and swore a lot." He lost his composure again. "B-But he was right.. I'm sorry."
I take my mask off, carefully sitting up with her help. "I'm sorry if he lost composure.." I smile apologetically, turning to Kenma who suddenly moved. "He's always like that.. when it comes to me that is."
"You were dead for 5 seconds, I get why he'd lose his composure." She smiled as she looked at him, still, my death wouldn't be a reason for him to swear at people. "I bought you food, you aren't really admitted so.. I just did this to compensate for my mistake." She gave me a bow before heading out.
I ate and waited for him to wake up. The doctor came a few minutes after the nurse left, she said I was good to go. Kenma must've worried a lot to be knocked out like this. I snapped a photo, just a little memento in case.. he's cute when he's peacefully sleeping.
Kenma woke up, attacking me with kisses and hugs. I got changed and we headed out to go home. I scolded him got losing his composure and saying all kinds of things to the nurse, he just avoided eye contact while he played with my hand. A guilty baby.
It's already 8 PM but he still stayed for a few minutes. He blamed it on the nurse for taking our alone time by handing me medication that I'm allergic to. We never knew I'd be allergic to it though, he's just shaken up from the sudden event.
He's on top of me just kissing me nonstop, it's like he was deprived from them. I'm could only giggle when he'd try to tickle me. My waist is slowly becoming a sensitive tickle spot. Even when I'm already struggling from all the laughing, I don't want to protest because he's smiling.
"Don't die on me." I let out a chuckle and nod. He's suddenly serious. "It's a promise?" I move up and pressed a kiss on his lips, having him cup my cheek to deepen the kiss.
"It's time to go Kenma. We have school tomorrow." He pulled me up to sit, an arm around my waist with the other around my shoulder.
"Just a few more kisses, hmm?" His hand went to the back of my head, pulling me closer to meet my lips. I snaked my arms around his neck, moving my lips in sync with his. He's scared again.
Kenma left after I fell asleep, a very selfless boyfriend. I love him so much. The next day went pretty smooth. I spent more time with the team than the council, Maki took over for me. I couldn't be more thankful, I'll just repay her one day.
Yamamoto apologized for his behavior and I saw him talk to Honami, but I don't think they got back together. She came crying to me and she just hugged me the whole time. Fukunaga was eyeing us but I told him not to do anything, I'm not yet sure of Yamamoto's decision.
Kuroo-san came again, still trying to convince Yamamoto to get back together with Honami. He knows it himself. If he can't accept her for who she is then why enter a relationship with her in the first place? I'm stressed for her.
I told Kenma to replace Yamamoto with Hiro or Nakamura first, he's not stable with everything that's going on. Their teamwork doesn't falter whoever their player may be so it was fine to set him aside for now. It's for everyone.
Their teamwork wouldn't need any work but, they're coordination with each other does. Kenma looks so pissed after Hiro didn't successfully hit the ball, it reminded me of him and Lev. It was a cute sight to see.
I'm writing their mistakes on a notebook at the moment, Honami's still crying on my shoulder. I told her not to stress out, it's going to be bad for her baby if she's always like this. Kuroo-san's giving his insights too, he's a big help.
"(Y/n), are you sure about using Hiro? Yamamoto seems like the better choice." I avert my eyes to the boys, seeing how Hiro is quite unstable. "Kenma would like Yamamoto more."
"Their coordination just needs work. Plus, Yamamoto's still mentally unstable to go on." I rebuttal, turning to the bedhead to face him.
"We've went through a match while receiving insults, (Y/n)." Ha, if it was that then I wouldn't have decided to keep him off the court.
I cover Honami's ears, I don't want her to hear this. "If you think that insults hurt as much as a breakup, then I guess I know why Ena still doesn't want to talk to you." He looks a bit taken aback, it's the truth anyway.
"You and Kenma... are just the perfect match." I roll my eyes at him and brush Honami's hair to calm her down.
Training went on and I started to see what the bedhead meant. Kenma also commented— complained about how Hiro wasn't compatible with him. I started to get more stressed out when Kenma said that, I was just trying to figure out what to do.
If Yamamoto won't be stable by next week then I don't see the worth of him joining. But Kenma complained! What should we do? I can't randomly oppose his idea, he's the captain. I'm a mess. I should've stayed in the council room.
"(Y/n)." I turn to Kenma with dead eyes, seeing him flinch.
"What do you want?" I ask, picking up the bottles that were on the floor.
"Are you okay?" Did he really have to ask me that? I groan as I bring the bottles to the bench. I dropped the few, making me mess my hair in frustration. "(Y/n), calm down." He got the bottles and placed them on the bench. "Don't stress yourself out."
"I'm supposed to help.. I don't know what to—" He stepped forward and kissed my forehead, looking at me with pleading eyes. "I'm sorry.. I just wanted to help you decide on what's best for the team, but when you complained.. I just shut down.."
"Let me handle things I should be handling." He fixed my hair, smiling down to me. "Every option you made is the best for the team." He pat my head as he walked away to go back.
"Kenma-san being sweet cleanses my eyes." The first years said, making me scrunch my nose in disgust. Our first years are weird.
Kenma did everything from then on, he decided to have Yamamoto play instead of Hiro. He said we'd be risking our chances too much if we suddenly change the regulars. I just did the actual job of a manager and filled the bottles, and wrote down their mistakes.
I felt sick by the end of training so I just sat on the bench while waiting for Kenma to finish. Kuroo-san and Ena left early, they took Honami with them. Lev and Hiro are bickering about the next ace after Yamamoto so I just had to say that neither of them will be the next ace.
We all walked home and I leaned on Kenma for support. I was feeling incredibly ill, for absolutely no reason at all so he gave me a piggy-back ride. I could tell that he was kinda struggling, he's probably exhausted already. I wanted to protest but, I felt worse when I tried to.
He gently laid me in bed before going downstairs to get a wet towel. It's already late but he still decided to take care of me, I want him to rest too. I try standing to go to my closet and get a change of clothes. I felt so cold that I needed something thicker than what I was wearing.
I fall on my knees when I was already right in front of my closet, making a loud thud that he probably heard. I can hear loud footsteps, he's running. I lean on the closet, smiling weakly at the frantic pudding head by the door. He picked me up and laid me in bed.
"You could've waited." I just smile at him, letting out a cough that made me sit up. "Do you feel cold?" I nod as my head falls to his shoulder. "Why are you always sick?"
"I'm sorry.. You must be tired.." He placed the towel on my forehead, not caring if he got wet too.
"I'm not." There he goes being selfless. "Don't tell me to leave, when I want to stay." I haven't said anything yet, it's a drag to even speak. "I'll get you thicker clothes."
I leaned on the headboard to stay up while I waited for him. He got me a sweater and he also gave me his jacket, helping me wear thicker pajama pants for me to feel warm. He made me wear socks too, why is he my caretaker?
"(Y/n)." I hum in response, almost falling asleep from the medicine. "You're not going anywhere, right?"
"Do you think I could leave in this state?" I ask, hearing him let out a quiet chuckle.
"No, I don't." He kissed my forehead and continued to caress my arm for me to sleep.
Why would he ask me about that? It's not like I have anywhere to go to. I can only ever stay here with him and everybody else, I don't have any other place but here. But there is this something that tells me, that either of us will be away... and that day will come sooner than we expect.
I thought he didn't stay over last night since I didn't see him when I woke up, but actually he left early for training. Apparently they have a practice match that I completely forgot, if I only remembered then I could've taken care of myself better than I did.
I felt a lot better after a goodnight sleep so I headed downstairs to eat breakfast. Almost thought that my parents were quarreling but it was only a movie, I couldn't feel more relieved. Whenever they argue it's over me and what I've done. I don't want to burden them.
I haven't told my parents that I actually found out about having a tumor and undergoing surgery. They just told me about it earlier, saying that I needed it. It was hard to put up an act so I remained speechless, it was the best way to react to it.
The surgery must be done right away, is what they said. The soonest is in two weeks, the latest would be a month or so from now. I asked them if the Kozume's knew about it, maybe it was a wrong move but they answered truthfully. They told me that Kenma knew before we even started dating.
I had to distract myself from it so I did everything that I could. Kenma left one of his PSPs with me so I played video games. When I grew tired of it, I went to my desk and took out my journal. I had to write a lot of things, I forgot about writing them down.
I started with our date, that day when I found out about having a tumor. I was pretty unsure if I should include the fact that someone actually kissed my boyfriend, but if I didn't.. then what I wrote wouldn't even be true anymore. Should he have a clean image in my journal?
It's weird. Back then if someone asked me about having a boyfriend, I would've said that I only want to stay single. So why the hell am I so into that stupid pudding head? All he ever did was play video games, be so straightforward that it turns to an insult. Why am I so scared of letting go?
"Hey, you doing fine now?" He sounds exhausted, you could've called me after you've rested. Idiot. "Can't come tonight, even tomorrow.. I have training."
"I feel better.. and it's fine if you can't come. You should rest too." I place my phone up to my ear, keeping it in place by squeezing it against my shoulder. I'm still writing so it's kinda hard to hold my phone up.
"What are you doing?" Love, I wish you were resting instead.
"I'm writing— Kenma?" I suddenly felt nervous when I heard him coughing, he sounds like he's struggling. "Hey is everything alright?" He's not answering. "Kozume? Kenma?"
"I-I'm fine.. Can I call again later? I love you, I'm sorry." What's going on? Is he okay??
"I love you too.. Talk to you later.." Why am I still speaking? He hung up before I could even say anything. I don't feel so good about this.
If I could only go to him.. I can't leave the house though, I can't go to anywhere.. I don't remember any address. I don't remember where he lives, nor where my friends live. The only place I remember is the school. I hope he has someone with him, whatever it is.
I had to rush everything without missing any detail, I'm going to write everything. If I don't remember that he was in pain then how can I help him? But I just wish he could tell me instead, it's scaring me. It's almost as if he couldn't breathe.. is he okay?
A stuff toy.. I head to the shelf to get the stuff toy, a pink cloud-like character. It's from the video game. When did I get this again? As far as I can recall, Kenma gave me this but where did he exactly get this from? The... The.. (Y/n) where? The convention!
I think that thinking too much confuses me sometimes. I clearly remember those times from before but if I'm too anxious, if I overthink then it's when my headaches and everything just gets jumbled up. I should worry less and be positive, while accepting the truths.
"One day, you'll bring pain to all of your friends. One that none of them will ever forget."
I jolt up from my sleep, my chest heaving from the sound of those words. Why now? I've been doing great, I haven't had any attack. I haven't done anything wrong.. I tried to turn, seeing Kenma sleeping right beside me. What is he doing here?
I shake him up, seeing the corners of his lips curl up. Well, I know for sure that he isn't an illusion and that I'm not hallucinating. I lay down and snuggle closer, having him wrap his arm around me. He looks so at ease, he must be dreaming of something.
"(Y/n)... Good morning.." I look up and his lips immediately fell on mine. What a way to start our morning. "It's Prelims.." Huh? I slept last Saturday night and, it's already a Tuesday?!
"Love, what happened the last few days?" He sighed and opened his eyes, planting a kiss on my forehead.
"So you finally realize that you've been zoning out.." I give him a small nod, hearing him sigh again. "Last Sunday, your mom called and asked if we argued. You weren't saying anything, it was like you were stuck with something.. That continued on until yesterday, the teachers didn't even bother to call you out."
Then that means.. tomorrow's his birthday! (Y/n) don't mess up this time, you have to get him that Nintendo. You don't want to see him cry on his birthday again. You made him cry after avoiding him for having now present. This year, make a promise to yourself that you will give him a gift no matter what.
The whole day was pretty simple, there was a short opening ceremony for Prelims and then the games begun. Kenma seemed a bit different. Both good and bad. But even though I could see both, I just focused on the good one. It's better that way.
We passed through the first day and everyone seems to be doing great. Yamamoto too. Honami and him are still trying to solve their problem, I'm glad they're trying. Ena still looks a bit down, Kuroo-san must've went home drunk again. I wonder how hard it is to take care of someone drunk.
We're all outside the court before the matches starts. I'm with Kenma, acting all cute with him since it is his birthday. His cheeks are red and he's trying to hide his smile. I didn't care about people seeing us, I want this day to be special for him.
I wrap my arms around his waist, hugging him tight as I giggled against his chest. I look up to see him smiling. "Happy birthday, Love." He pulled me with him, probably to hide. He pressed his lips on mine, with his hand on the back of my head.
"Thank you." He's really smiling. "Because you're present, I don't need anymore present from you. Okay?" No bro, I'm getting you something!
He showered my face with kisses, mostly planting them on my lips until we were making out. We really are hidden so that's why he's this bold, I love him. I really hope, that we'll stay together and be here for each other.
"Kenma-san—" It's Nakamura. "U-Uhm.. It's time for the matches. We're up first.." The boy awkwardly scratched his cheek, face showing a tint of pink.
"We'll be there." I'll be somewhere else though. Nakamura gave us a bow before he headed back. He gave more kisses, pressing his lips on mine like he's yearning for it. "Let's go—"
"Actually, I'm going to buy everyone a beverage." I say, smiling sweetly for him to let me. "It's Ena who's going to be sitting on the bench today."
He furrowed his brows and his eyes were suddenly filled with fear. They were sparkling just a second ago, why are they suddenly so dull? "You're not going anywhere." I frown and pout my lips. Why?
"Please? I really want to do this.." He groaned and brushed his hair back, taking the hair tie off in the process.
"I want you to watch me play..." I have to go to the store to get the Nintendo. I want to surprise him. I look down, trying to let go of his hands. "(Y/n).." He lets out a deep sigh, pressing a kiss on the back of my head. I look back up and his lips landed on mine. "Let me see you off for the very least, okay?"
"Okay.." He smiled but he's hesitant. Jeez, I'm just going to be out.
Kenma gave me more kisses before letting me off on my own. There was an 8 Eleven nearby so, I entered that place first to wait until he's completely back. I head out after five minutes of staying there.
There was a shop near the venue so it was easier for me. I thought of a color that he would like, he has a blue one. Maybe a black one? He kinda likes the color black, I've seen him wear clothes that are in all black. I think he'd definitely love it!
I run to the shop, trying my best not to take much time. I failed in that part though. I've been stopping because of stoplights so it took me quite a while before getting there. I had a map and wrote down what I should be seeing once I try to head there.
I suddenly feel so excited! The girl spoke out of nowhere, scaring the crap out of me. She was kind and she helped me a lot, I told her that I wanted the black one and she gladly got it for me. I also chose a game that I heard from him before, he'd be playing this all day.
I head out after paying for them, smiling sweetly to myself. I look at the bag in my arm, seeing how happy would look like if I handed it to him. He will definitely be happy this year! If he cried, it's be tears of joy!
I take my phone out, thinking that they might've finished by now. It did take me a while. I put the phone up to my ear, just hearing it ring over and over again. I try calling again, adjusting the bag in my arm.
I turn my head to the sudden honking of a car, stopping in my tracks when I saw it fast approaching. I hug the bag tight, I wouldn't want them to go to waste. Just then, I felt hard metal hit my body and I got thrown off, rolling on the floor with a throbbing body.
I reach for my phone, wincing in pain when I couldn't feel my body anymore. "Ken..ma....." Happy birthday, Love.
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