I really tried to write but I only got one chapter out of me. I'm over today already. This book will be done by Friday though.
Chris's POV
Chris' POV
"How long has he been gone now?" Cassie asks me as we lay on the living room floor dramatically.
I pull out my phone and click on it to showcase the time before sighing. "Two hours." I tell him sadly and he groans in disbelief.
"And we're supposed to last two days?! We should have never let him go." Cassie declares reaching out to smack me in the arm and I return toe favor.
"I told you that, stupid, but no one wanted to listen to me." I grumble, folding my arms over my chest.
As much as I try and joke about it, I hate the fact that he's gone. Though the two of us have been good at reconnecting, I know that sometimes it can be hard for me when Chan leaves the house. Now that I have him back and we've grown even further than when we first got together, I'm terrified that he might not come back because I fucked up.
"This is hard for you." Says Cassie and from the corner of my eye, I see him prop himself up on his elbow as he looks down at me. It's supposed to be a question but it comes out as an observation that I can't deny.
I feel him waiting for an answer, and I closer my eyes, already knowing where this is going. "Yes." I agree verbally and I hear him lay back down.
There's a few moments of silence between us and I begin to think that maybe this isn't going where I thought when I hear Cassie open his mouth and ask the question that I've been waiting for. "What happened... between you and Chan. Why did he leave?" He asks. I can tell that this question has been haunting him a bit and since the three of us are now together, there's no reason for me to hide it anymore. Hopefully, the fear I have of him running away is one of fantasy and anxiety.
"When we first got together," I start, keeping my eyes closed as the memories begin flashing behind my eyes. "Everything was perfect. We were still in the honey moon phase of just finding our soulmates. He was one of my sisters closest friends and while usually I go and hide while they come over, I had forgotten that day and I ran into him coming out of the bathroom. He was perfect. We spent all of our time together and I fed him and enjoyed it and it was bliss. And then the insecurities started. Thinking back on it, it started after he met my parents. He thought that I saw him as a whore or a slut or a disgrace because he needed sex to live. He even begin starving himself and refusing sex because he wanted to show me that he could do it. That he didn't need it."
There's silence as I take a breath, my voice beginning to get thick as I think about those days.
"It broke my heart to come home and see him getting worse every day. It wasn't even about missing sex it was the fact that he was slowly killing himself to prove something that he didn't have to. He hated me even touching him because he thought I was calling him weak. Then one day, I came home and he was sleeping and I have him head, trying to give him some energy. It backfired hard. He woke up and fought me off of him and he cried and told me he wasn't some slut that I could use. He walked away and never came back."
The familiar pain that I usually feel when thinking about that night doesn't come and I find myself feeling a bit proud of myself because our that. But though I don't feel the pain, I do feel the regret from that night.
Cassie is quiet for a moment after I finish my story before he speaks up with a soft voice. "And you don't hate him? A lot of people hate their soulmates when they leave."
I'm not offended by the question because I know it's a good one. I tilt my head and think about it before I open my mouth to answer. "At first. At first I hated everything about him. I almost destroyed everything I had from him. But once I calmed down... I realized it was my fault. He was literally screaming out help to me and I was focused on the one thing he was against. And then I fed him against his will. I did to him what society does and that's when the self hatred started. If I had just listened and found another way to help than he wouldn't have left." I tell him and he blows out the air that's in his cheeks as I open my eyes and turn towards him, already finding him facing me.
"I can't imagine what that had to be like. But I also know we can't live in the past. I can't be afraid of cars or letting you two drive. You can't be afraid that something like that will happen again." He tells me, his brown eyes staring into my soul.
"It's not-"
"I know it's not that easy, baby, I know. But you have to work at it. You can't just give up trying and take the easier route. That overthinking and anxiety is going to fuck it all up again if you let it." He warns me and I know he's right.
"I'm glad that I have you. Thank you for being so understanding. And thank you for loving him in a different way that I can." I tell him and his face goes beat red.
"I... I haven't...." He says and I chuckle to myself.
"I know. But I know." I tell him and it's his turn to face the ceiling though his hand reached out to grab mine.
"Thank you for loving me." He tells me and I squeeze his hand tightly.
We lay there for a few more minutes until suddenly my phone starts blaring. I roll over and grab it from off of the table and a grin stretches across my face when I see who it is. "Cassie it's our baby!" I call and the curly haired man gets up quickly to come over to where I am as I pick up the phone and put it on speaker.
"Hey, love." I say.
"Baby come back." Cassie wails at the same time and I give him a deadpanned look that he just shrugs at.
"I can't Cassie, I just got here." Chan chastises and I can here his friends laughing and talking in the background and it makes me happy to know that he called us just like he promised. It makes my fears a little easier to swallow. "Are you surviving without me?"
"Not at all. We've been laying on the floor." I tell him and he snorts in amusement.
"Have you started staring at boys yet?" Cassie asks, clearly still pouting at the fact that they had to go to the beach of all places and I told him that he had to get over it. He didn't like that idea.
"Not yet. Give me twenty minutes and ask me again." Chandler answers in amusement and Cassie grains his disapproval.
We say goodbye to Chan and then we're sitting in silence once more at the reminder that he'll spend two nights away from us. "I know what we can do." I offer and Cassie turns towards me with a dead look.
"Anything is better than this."
✨✨✨
"How long has it been?"
I take out my phone and check the time and my mood darkens when I see it. "Four hours." There's a chorus of groans form around the room as everyone pouts about their missing lover.
Trying to get us out of the house, I had called Alex and apparently everyone was going over to his house since he couldn't leave the twins there, and Jonah was coming as well.
And that's how we all ended up moping together in the living room while Jonah plays with the twins upstairs.
"Cody is going to have too much fun. He loves looking at half naked men. And all Chloe is going to do is spur him on." James groans and Alex nods solemnly in agreement.
"I gave Thomas one of my bats. I'm just waiting for the police station there to tell me they got arrested." Ares says nonchalantly and I can tell that he's not phased in the slightest by Thomas' absence but when I ask him about it he gives me a wicked grin. "Oh I'm doing everything I can to stay calm. My kitten knows what time he should be home. And if he's not, he doesn't want me to come and get him."
"You're hot." Cassie says staring at Ares and the tatted man gives him a wicked grin.
"You're cute." He says and I watch as Cassie's cheek flare red.
"I'll fucking drown you." I tell Ares, glaring at him and he laughs before putting up his hands. I turn my gaze to Cassie but conveniently he's looking everywhere but at me.
"I'm just worried about how much trouble Cora is going to get everyone else in. She hates men so I'm not worried about that, but she's going to want to go to a bar. And you remember what happened last time."
"What happened last time?" I ask as everyone groans in memory.
"Some how, they started a bar fight and they were the only ones not included. They were just sitting on the bar drinking alcohol and laughing when we got there." Ares mutters with a frown and the rest of the room mirrors the look.
"She scares me." Alex says and we laugh as we continue to mope and pout about our missing lovers.
~~~~~~~~~~~
If any of you had any lingering questions about the rejection, I hope this cleared it up. They are all so clingy and it's just so cute and funny to me. Ares and Cassie are my new favorite friends.
Thoughts?
Comments?
QOTD: What was the last thing you got mad about?