“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals.”
~ Unknown
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“Ragini freaking Krishnan, open this damn door,” Swara shouted pounding on the door incessantly like an infuriated lioness all set to pounce upon her prey any next moment. No one… no one hid anything from Swara Bose and here her best friend had kept her in dark. How could she do that? She had trusted her with everything, no matter how big or small, and here she could not even tell her who she was dating! Indeed, life was being too unfair with her.
Laksh, on the other side, stood discreetly two feet away from her knowing that would be the best for his well-being at this very moment. He would never dare to mess with Swara, especially when she was angry, and right now anyone could tell that she was absolutely livid. And when angry, Swara definitely was not the best person one could have known. For sure, he did not want a broken nose by the time he reached back home. He would not want to ruin his beautiful face that his mother adored so much.
He had known Swara ever since he was twelve years old. The moment he saw her for the first time at Home Sunshine, she was eight years old back then. It was a cool winter day, he had accompanied his mother to Home Sunshine and that was when he saw her for the first time. Sitting under a mango tree, she was scribbling something on the paper and no one even tried to interfere. She had been there hardly for a week and they all knew that she needed her own space.
When Swara came to Siliguri for the first time, she had a blackened eye and was a lot more silent than the children of her age. All that she did the whole day was sit in a corner all to herself, the only thing that she ate was given to her by Ganga Maa. She refused to eat from anyone else. Even the slightest bit of touch from anyone else made her entire being shiver terribly. The dark terrified her, made the deepest core of her heart shudder, and that was why she refused to sleep alone. But Laksh could never muster up the courage to ask the reason behind, nor did Swara tell anyone.
They say, time is the biggest healer. And this Swara, standing in front of him was the best example. Today, she was totally a different version of what she used to be. She was a lot stronger and stood not only for herself but for everyone else. The compassion her heart held for everyone out there made Laksh admire her more than anyone else. She was a fighter!
But was he going to tell her that?
Nah! Maybe some other time.
With a click, the door opened, eventually breaking Laksh’s train of thoughts. From the edge of the door, he could see those alarmed eyes of his girlfriend, peeping to have a look at her horn-mad best friend. “Hi, Swara,” Ragini somehow managed to muster up the courage to speak.
“To hell with your greeting! You guys have ruined my life. I demand you to open this door,” said Swara placing both her hands on the either side of her waist. Ragini instantly quivered back, “Um, Swara… why don’t we talk about this tomorrow?”
“Why? Do you have a date today?” enquired Swara raising her eyebrow and Ragini shook her head in denial. Saving her life was a lot more important than date!
“Then open the door!” Swara demanded again and Ragini scooted away a little more, attempting to close even the slightly open door. Knowing what was going in her head, Swara stepped nearer, “Open this door, Ragini, or I… I will… I will….”
“You will?” Laksh spoke out of the blue and the moment Swara turned towards him with a winning smirk on her face, he knew that he had committed the gravest of all the grave mistakes. Should he run?
“Or I will kill your boyfriend!”
“WHAT?” Laksh screamed and was all set to run away when Ragini opened the door shouting for Swara to stop. Laksh sighed with relief, patting his back mentally in appreciation for choosing the most perfect girl. She could even lay her life on line to save him!
Change of plans for Swara!
Leaving those two where they were, she headed straight for the kitchen. Furrowing his eyebrows, Laksh looked at Ragini who in turn just shrugged her shoulders and turned around to follow Swara into the house.
Rampaging through the cupboards, Swara kept murmuring something incoherently. Scrunching her nose at the plight of her kitchen, Ragini failed to keep it all to herself and blurted out, “What are you trying to find, Swara?”
“Knife!” she replied without giving her a glance, “Hah! Found it.” And the moment Ragini saw the small kitchen knife in her hand, she ran out of the kitchen and into the main hall. What in the world had her bubbleheaded boyfriend done to make Swara go all ninja upon them? Little did she realize that this storm was the aftereffects of the doings of both of them.
“Swara. Swara. Swara. What are you doing?” Laksh screamed at the top of his voice as Ragini came running towards him and managed to hide behind him effectively.
“This is knife and I am going to kill you both. And then tell everyone that you were cheating on each other and so, you killed one another out of rage. The plus point, even your mother is at the school right now, so, no witnesses. Perfect plan, you see! And don’t even dare to ask me why! You guys have ruined my life,” Swara blurted out in a breath swinging her knife towards them as if it was something obvious and Laksh jumped back.
Holding Ragini by her upper arm, he tried pulling her to the front in a feeble attempt to hide behind her. Ragini was horrorstruck! This person right here, claimed to love her and had dared to push her to the front in the time of adversity. She should definitely reconsider her decision of dating him!
Whacking his stomach with her elbow pretty hard, Ragini glowered at Laksh and he squirmed back like a scared kitten. He had convinced her once and could do that again, if he somehow managed to survive his friend. “Swara, I am your best friend. Are you really going to kill me?” Ragini tried to reason and Swara narrowed her eyes at her.
“And I am your childhood friend,” just when Ragini thought she could calm Swara down, Laksh blurted out from behind, piquing Swara all over again. “You are not my childhood friend. You are my childhood enemy. My mortal enemy. Have you forgotten that the first thing that I ever gifted you was a lizard?"
A dreading sense of nostalgia washed over Laksh making him shudder with terror and disgust. If there was anything that Laksh absolutely despised in his life, then it was the lizard. Every time those terrible, brown, blotched reptiles crawled on the walls, they sent chills down his spines. And the one Swara gifted him definitely topped the list. The moment it had landed on his palm, he could not move for a second, fearing a single movement from him would turn it into a dinosaur that would swallow him up like a candy. And then, the next moment, he freaked out. After screaming and running for what seemed like an eternity, wreaking havoc in his entire house, he realized that it was a fake one. And then what happened?
The mighty Laksh Dilsher Ahuja fainted at his own birthday party!
“Do not remind me of that day, Swara,” Laksh screamed still hiding behind Ragini and she rolled her eyes before turning her attention back at Swara. “But what actually happened that has made you so angry? And why do you keep chanting like a mantra that we have ruined your life?”
“Fifteen years! Fifteen years in Siliguri and I finally found someone and you guys ruined my chances with him even before I could try.”
“What?” Laksh finally came out from behind Ragini with shock written all over his face. This could not be happening! “S-Swara, you… This cannot happen, Swara. He… You can… Please, don’t think about him.”
With her anger finally subsiding, Swara sat on the sofa with a thump and pouted, “You guys are not my friends. You are my enemies, even worse than enemies. I had been away for only three years and you are even hiding such important things from me.”
Feeling downhearted, Ragini slowly treaded towards her. Swara was not just her best friend but a sister she never had. Soul sisters, as they called each other, they could do anything for each other. And for sure, Ragini could not tolerate a crestfallen Swara. That broke her heart like anything. Getting down on her knees in front of her, Ragini held her hand, “What’s wrong, Swara? You have never been this angry.”
“I’m not angry, Ragini. I just was not expecting you guys to hide anything from me. That, too, about your relationship. Trust me, no one would have been happier than me for you two. Though, this man is absolutely a chucklehead but I know he is good at heart and will surely take good care of you. So, I approve of you,” she smiled at Ragini and even Laksh joined in their moment as he held Swara’s hand and pulled Ragini closer by her shoulder.
“Trust me, we were going to tell you, Swara. We were just waiting for the right moment,” said Laksh but Swara immediately pulled her hand away glaring at him. “Don’t talk to me. I am still angry at you. Instead of helping me out, you asked me not to think about my Fake Librarian. How could you do that?”
“Fake librarian? Seriously, Swara! But who is this friend you both are talking about?” Ragini grew skeptical about the whole ordeal and she narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend, who fumbled as he tried to answer. “Laksh…, ”she began threateningly and Laksh gulped.
“I… Um. Actually, Ragini…”
“Don’t tell me you asked him again for his help,” Ragini glared at him and the way Laksh refused to meet her eyes, she knew she was right about it. “Why do you keep bothering him for your silly things, Laksh?” Ragini huffed disapprovingly.
“It was not silly this time, Ragini. This time it was you and you don’t even realize how important you are to me.”
“But still,” Ragini sighed holding her head in her palm. Taking a deep breath, she turned to look at Swara who looked like as if she had umpteenth questions knocking at her head but she was not able to decide where she should begin from. “Swara. You… You are only going to get hurt. Please, for my sake let us just end this here only. Yeah?”
“W-Why? Is there something that you are not telling me? And why don’t I know anything about him when you both do?”
“You were not here for three years, Swara,” Ragini began, “and even if you came during your holidays, it was only for two or three days. Their family came here hardly two years ago and are too reserved for their own good. But what actually matters here is that… he will never… never accept you in his life, Swara.”
“B-But how can you say that when I haven’t even tried,” Swara stumbled at her own words as she felt something unknown break inside of her. She had never felt such a connection with anyone before and here she was being told to ignore it. Just like that? For all her life, all she had done was ignore and she was fine with it but this what she had felt was something that had sent her entire being in frenzy. She felt those treacherous tears wet her eyelashes, but she couldn’t cry. No, she wouldn’t cry! This was the thing about her anger, she always felt like crying on the very verge of it.
Wiping her tears with a stroke of his thumb, Laksh took a deep breath, “Please, Swara. Don’t! He is fire.”
He warned her and Swara chuckled humorlessly, “If he is fire, my friend, then I am ready to get burned down to ashes.”
Laksh sighed in despair. Why was it so difficult to make her understand anything? His friend was too hardheaded for her own good!
“But,” Laksh tried to make a prostrate attempt to reason but was immediately cut short with a light tap on his forehead and Swara smiled, “Moreover, he already thinks that I am crazy. So, yeah!”
She could not brush off these feelings that lingered somewhere within, the spark that ignited her whole being. Every bit of her existence urged her to unravel the mystery of her Fake Librarian. At least she deserved a good chance. Didn’t she?
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It was 5:30 in the morning and Sanskaar was up as usual. But instead of making his way towards the kitchen, like he did on every other day, he was today standing by the window of his room. Most possibly, waiting for something, or someone in particular. With his eyes trying to search for something in the direction of mountains, he was just assuring his own self that whatever he felt that day was not just a mere figment of his imagination. He had never been so intrigued by someone to this extent as he was by the one who played that flute. It was as if every tone, every note spoke to him and Sanskaar had not even realized that his heart had just started wishing for that magician to play again.
And then he heard that!
Not the flute but his daughter cry. Vanya was never up that early and if she was, she would definitely throw a tantrum. Walking up to his daughter’s cradle, Sanskaar picked up his precious little one in his arms, securing her in his embrace. Rocking her, as he tried to soothe her down whilst walking up and down in his room, his mind traveled back to the day he held her for the first time. The day when his Aarti left him forever.
He was all lost as he sat on the bench outside the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Aarti had blessed him with a baby girl, but would he able to accept her when he had lost the love of his life because of the child! Several waves of apprehensions fluttered through him and his heart skipped a beat as the door opened.
Wrapped up in a soft white feather like towel, she was laid carefully in his arms. He looked at her and he saw a reflection of his Aarti in her. She was beautiful! Tears veiled his vision and he had to close his eyes tightly to allow a few of them trickle down his cheeks. He caressed her fingers kissing her forehead and his baby girl scooted closer in his embrace relishing the warmth. He had never seen something so fragile, so vulnerable in his life and strangely her little palm over his chest rendered an unsaid tranquility to his heart, despite all the chaos that his life had landed up into. It was then that he had realized, he could never hate her. How could he not love her when she was a part of Aarti more than she was of his! It was not possible for him.
And eventually, Vanya brought out the best version of Sanskaar. She was the only force that held every thread of his life together, protecting him from shattering into pieces.
Kissing her head, Sanskaar patted Vanya’s back as her cries did not seem like stopping anytime sooner. Realizing that she might be feeling hungry, he picked up her milk bottle. But the moment the bottle was brought near her mouth, Vanya sputtered it all out, crying all over again.
Wiping her mouth with a cotton cloth, Sanskaar brought her closer to his chest patting her back as he made his way towards the window. Maybe a little bit of fresh air would calm her down. That was when the realization hit him hard. Was his mother right? Had he really failed as a father? Or should he say as a mother? Did Vanya really need a mother?
His throat constricted with this foreboding pain. In all his pain, he had forgotten about Vanya. If he had lost his Aarti, then his little one had lost her mother even before she could hold her hand. A mother she needed more than anyone else. Tears stung his eyes and he gulped and then almost like his wish had been answered, he heard the flute again.
His eyes shot up, looking towards the mountain with tears still lingering in there. He was not hallucinating. He had really heard the flute last time! The music flowed to him like a soothing caress and he felt the heaviness in his heart subsiding. The tone was different this time, he could tell, but the warmth it carried was the same. The tender feeling that had comforted him once before was the same. It was almost like a sedative and he could feel himself drowning in those endless depths of melody. All his soul wanted was to reach out for the magic and have it all to himself forever.
Hardly a few moments had passed, and that was when Sanskaar realized that it was all too silent. The only thing that he could hear now was the enchanting melody. Vanya was too silent now, she had stopped crying. Was she alright? Pulling her away from his chest, Sanskaar took a look at her and was left flabbergasted the moment he noticed that she was smiling now.
With her arms stretched in the direction of the music of the flute, Vanya gave a smile, so genuine that even Sanskaar had not ever seen before!
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A/N
The enchanting flute music in the media box above is the one I have in mind for the last scene. Please do listen to it.
I hope you all would have liked the chapter.
With love,
Stella ❤️