"So, this is the place that you have been wanting to bring me to?" I asked. It looked like how any restaurant would look like. It left me wondering as to why Fredricks has been wanting to bring me here.
"I know, I know. I had the same reaction as yours when I first came here. But little did I expect the food to be so good. In fact, this restaurant is one of the best for its served dishes. I guarantee that you will not regret it!" He defended as he called upon the waiter.
Glancing around the area, I attempted to search for a familiar face as I had a gut feeling that I might see him here. When I found no such silhouette, a sigh of relief was let out. Knowing that I must be overthinking, I focused my attention on the menu and began ordering the dish I wanted.
"Miss Wellesley?" Both Fredricks and I looked up from our menu to peer at the couple before us.
"What a coincidence!" Amelia exclaimed.
Terrific.
"It sure is." I answered while looking at Fredricks who looked like he was about to lash out.
"Waiter! Could you bring two more seats to this table?" Amelia called out and two chairs came swiftly to our table.
"I do not think-"
"Fredricks, you have yet to recommend a dessert to me." I abruptly cut him from his speech, giving a small nod as a gesture that I was okay. Even though I was still in the midst of healing my wounds, I knew that I couldn't run from Nicholas forever. Nicholas and Amelia settled down into their seats, leaving Nicholas sitting in the opposite direction of where I was.
I fidgeted in my seat as his gaze left me in extreme discomfort, to the point where I could puke whatever contents there was in my stomach.
"How have you been, Abbey?" Amelia gleamed while Nicholas kept his eyes fixated on me.
You think?
How dense can this woman be?
"I am fine. How about you?" It took all that I had to force a smile on my lips, completely unaware that Fredricks had now placed his hand upon mine.
"Oh, you know, wedding preparations take up most of my time. But Nick here has been really impatient to the point where he intends to shift our wedding to an earlier date. Right, Nick?" Amelia clasped her hands over Nicholas which prompted him to place his over hers.
"Right." Nicholas replied.
Seeing the love that took place before me reminded me of the days when Nicholas too, had once held that same look for me. This led the same wave of sadness to wash over me.
Fredricks' grip tightened, compelling me to turn and witness his reassuring smile. Though I knew that that was the way he tried to comfort me, I couldn't return his smile with mine. All I could feel were the knots that continued to entangle to an increasingly complex formation somewhere in my gut.
"I do not feel so well, please excuse me." I quickly rose from the seat and made a dash to the exit.
"Abbey, hold up!" I ignored the voice and continued the brisk walk down the street. There were too many things that occupied my mind that I could not possibly spare any energy on other issues.
"Abbey!" This time, a hand grabbed my arm and forcefully pulled me backwards, enveloping my body to another. It came to my realization that if I were to continue the path, I would have been trampled over by a horse.
"I am sorry." I whispered under my breath.
"There is nothing that you should be sorry for." Fredricks said, embracing me, with my back pressed against his chest. "Let's go home." He led me to the carriage before opening the door to help me into my seat.
Home. I once thought of Nicholas as my home; a place that I could find refuge in. But now, that home was just a place I once knew. Now, it was about to be replaced with someone else.
The ride back was engulfed in hushed silence. The Fredricks that I knew of, with a bubbly personality, was reduced to a quiet state. Yet, I felt extremely grateful that he stayed by my side. I couldn't have asked for a better friend.
*
"Abbey." We had reached the living hall of his house, "I know that you are going through a tough time. And it pains me to see you in this way. If there was any way to transfer it all, I would do it without hesitation. But know this, that I shall be by your side and all you have to do is lean on me."
It was clear what Fredricks meant, but the feeling was anything but mutual. I was not ready to throw myself at another guy after having broken by another. Moreover, I had no romantic feelings for Fredricks, only friendship. But how could I bring myself to hurt his feelings with a straight-up rejection?
"I am aware of your feelings, Fredricks. But I am afraid that I need some time, although I do not know if I am able to reciprocate it the way you would want me to."
"I am willing to wait for you," he burst out, "I am willing to wait for you for as long as it takes."
***
"Are you alright, dear?" Claire's face held such concern. Knowing about my current condition, it was evident that she treated me with such gentleness.
"I am fine."
"Are you sure? Your eyes look considerably puffy." I smiled while nodding at the same time, hoping that this conversation would come to an end. Claire, who seems to have notice this, decided to stop the prying.
"All right. I will be heading to the market for little while, would you like to come with?"
"No, thank you."
"Okay. I will be back soon." She responded as she hooked the basket in her arms before leaving the house.
With Fredricks out for an errand in the early morning, I was finally left all alone. And so here I was, with me, myself and my thoughts, still in the process of recovery from last night.
Not long after, I plunged onto the couch, a knock came from the door, causing me to groan in annoyance as I couldn't have a moment of peace to myself.
"Who is it?" I hollered, reluctantly pulling myself up to approach the entrance. A bombardment of knocks came en route to the door.
"Okay, okay! I'm coming!" I yanked on the knob, causing the door to swing unusually wide.
"What do you want?" The moment those words flew out of my mouth, I became aware of who stood before me as flashbacks from last night started flooding into my mind once more.
"Nicholas."
"Abbey."
The both of us said in unison.
"Is Fredricks home?" he enquired.
"He is out on an errand."
"I see."
Then, there was stillness, as if a wall were standing between us.
"Is it alright if I come in?"
As much as I didn't want him to, it was not my house to begin with; and as much as I wanted to have nothing to do with him, I still yearned for him, hoping that I still had a place in his heart.
Dream on. He is getting married soon.
I stepped aside to allow him entry before leading him to the living area.
"How are you?"
"I am fine." And then there was silence once again. After all that had happened, I couldn't and didn't know how to communicate with him anymore.
"Are you not mad at me?"
"Excuse me?" I asked, needing some time to compose my thoughts as I was completely taken aback by his question.
"Why did you not lash out at me when I told you that I was getting married?"
"What's the point?" I sighed, hitting the memory lane of that morning when that wedding dress was all it took to explain the situation. "Would it change a thing if I did lash out at you?"
There was no answer from Nicholas.
"I thought so", disappointment began to seep in, daunting me that it was all for nothing but a wishful thinking, "I thought that I was special to you, but it turns out that I was just a flower that you can pick and later trample when you have lost your interest." The struggle to convey those words were magnanimous.
"I should have known that you were toying with me ever since the beginning..." I continued, allowing a melancholic laugh to form.
"Do you want to know the truth?"
"The truth?" I couldn't help but snort at his remark, "all this time, you have kept your marriage from me and yet you're asking if I might want to know the truth?" I laughed at his absurdity, unable to believe what I just heard. "What is truth, Nick? Do you know what it means to me?"
"No, never will I believe in you. I would be a fool if I were to place my trust in you once more." The endeavor of holding back the tears proved challenging as my emotions started to get ahead of me.
"Then, I shall respect your decision." Nicholas replied as he stood up from the couch and made his way toward the entrance with me following behind him. My legs began to tremble, forcing me to give way. Nonetheless, I held on and bit hard on my lip to the point that blood could be tasted; hoping that the pain would divert the attention of my sorrow.
"Here," Nicholas held out a card on his hand.
_____________________
The honor of your presence is requested.
Mrs. Eleanora Dolittle invites you to the marriage of her daughter Amelia Dolittle to Nicholas Alexander Clayton, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Walter Clayton
Sunday, the twenty sixth of August, eighteen fifty-five, One o'clock in the afternoon.
Henderson Central Park, 312 Ninth Street
_____________________
"I hope to see you there." I kept silent as my eyes were glued on the piece of card.
"Abbey," Nicholas tried reaching out to grab my hand, but it compelled me to back away.
"Have a great life, Nicholas," my face void from any expression.
I quickly slammed the door shut before my knees finally gave way and buckled. The wedding invitation in my hand was now reduced to nothing but a lump of crumpled paper.
"AAAARGHHH!" I hurled that piece of paper with every ounce of leftover energy. By now, I could no longer withhold the tears that so easily sprung and ran free.
Does he feel happy for having to hurt me repeatedly? Hasn't he done enough damage?
"Shhh," A set of arms wrapped around me, as if trying to bring a lifeless body back to life.
"I hate him," I whimpered, covering my damp eyes with the palms of my hand, "Fredricks, I hate him."
"Abbey. We both know that you still love him," his soft and reassuring voice made me realize the truth, that no matter how much I hated him, that love will still overpower the hurt that Nicholas had inflicted unto me.
"It will be alright, Abbey. It will be alright," he comforted.
Will it really?
*****************
Hello my lovelies!
How do you think of this book so far? A few more chapters before this book officially ends! But as a newbie writer, I would love to know the comments and perspectives you have on this book. So feel free to input your ideas :D