Hey, that was my idea Minho. Chan thought.
(A/N: I made another mistake omg haha it's supposed to be Saturday not Monday ugh I get things mixed up too much I'm so sorry.)
After that final text, Y/n decided to go to sleep. She almost forgot that she had to wake up early because she was talking to them for so long. She didn't want to stop talking to them but she didn't want to sleep through her alarm also. She liked to talk to them because they were very entertaining and enthusiastic. She'll never shut up about how funny they are. She liked getting to know the members as well. They all have their own fun personalities that just make them awesome to be around. She liked how Minho was sarcastic and sassy but also was sweet and caring. She knows that they are just joking around. She hopes to get closer with the members.
"Hey Mom!"
"Hey Sweetie! How was your day?" Her mom responded on the phone.
"It went great! Chan got me tickets to see them perform at M-Countdown today! I even got to meet the members. They all were so nice. It was so cool."
"That's so cool! Wait, I thought the M-Countdown thing was tomorrow?"
"Yes, well... it's Music Core but anyways, he got me tickets for M-Countdown today but I'm still gonna surprise him tomorrow!"
"Oh! What a fun two days in a row you'll be having! Tell him we wish them luck!"
"Of course mom."
"I just wanted to call you really quick because we didn't talk at all day today and you didn't call so I just wanted to check in."
"Oh mom, I'm so sorry if I worried you. I was just chilling out all day so I wouldn't be so tired when waking up early. I should've called earlier, I had all the time in the world!"
"Don't worry Y/n. It's time you go out and talk more. You are too focused on becoming a teacher sometimes that I think you forget that you need a social life. Speaking of a social life, did you make any other friends besides the members and that woman you met at the restaurant?"
There was a silence, "No... but-"
"Y/n, I know you are becoming friends with them, which is awesome," Her mom said with enthusiasm, "...but you need to make more friends because they are kpop idols. They can't always hangout with you or talk to you. I think you just need to make more friends so there can be others there by your side when maybe they can't."
"Yeah well, either way I like doing stuff on my own. I don't always need people." Y/n chuckled.
"I know and that's great to have time for yourself, but what if you are in need of somebody but they can't be there for you? Also, don't you sometimes ever not want to go out alone?"
Y/n did feel that way sometimes. Like when going out to eat or going to the movies. Although she's fine with being by herself, there are still scenarios that make her wish she had friends.
"Yeah... maybe you're right."
(A/N: ⚠️The next few paragraphs have mentions of drugs, angsty/misbehaved teens, and manipulative/controlling/changed past relationships.)
She wasn't sure how to feel about this. Y/n is pretty insecure and that's why whenever she meets new people, she makes sure to stay nice, respectful and proper, she also tends to hold her true self back. She wants to seem like a person that has no flaws.... but sadly, everyone does. Whenever she messes up, even in the slightest, she beats herself up a lot about it. With the SKZ boys, they actually made her kind of forget that feeling of trying to always be perfect and cautious. She feels like she can be more herself around them. She hasn't experienced that often.
She hasn't had much friends in college because she was so focused on passing school. She didn't have time to hangout with anyone, at least that's what she told herself. She was also afraid that the college students would act like the high schoolers. That basically means, rude, fake and angsty people who think they know everything and can say whatever they want even if it puts others down. She never wanted to have anything to do with those kind of people, but basically everyone was like that. She also doesn't want to be made fun of for only dating two people before, they also didn't last long... not even a year. Everyone in that school has dated and hooked up with many people. That wasn't Y/n at all. She wanted to have a personal connection with others but all they cared about was their status.
The first relationship that she was part of in junior year of high school was great, but near the end of it he started becoming one of them. He would ditch her a lot to hangout with his friends and they would get into lots of trouble. He even got caught by the police once when he was on someone else's property and smoking weed with one of his friends. At that point she knew that he was going down the wrong path. She would try and call him and text him but he'd never answer or respond when he was out. She tried telling him that he needs to get this under control but he didn't listen. He would text her every night telling her that he loves her and he never cheated on her but she realized that he'd rather be out doing that stuff than being with her so she decided to break it off. That relationship lasted 8 months.
The second relationship she was in, was in her sophomore year of college. That one lasted for only 4 months. She was excited and confident to try dating again when she met him. She wanted to learn and believe that not everyone was bad or fake but he ruined that vision for her. He was sweet and charming at first but soon after they started dating, he became controlling and manipulative. She was too blind to realize it though. Her family didn't like him after a while and even though Y/n didn't have much friends, a decent amount of people on campus new of her for her kindness. She would help people study a lot and many people appreciated it since college is mainly about focusing on yourself. Since she was somewhat known, random people would come up to her and ask her if they were still dating and when she said 'yes' they would always say stuff like, 'you deserve better' or 'why? he's not even worth your time.' It made her realize how wrong he was and they got into a bad fight which led them into breaking up.
From all of those past experiences, it has made her unsure if she wants to meet new people. She is unsure if she even wants to get married actually. She feels like she can't trust anyone she meets. All of those experiences with relationships have made her realize that she prefers being by herself and doing stuff on her own. Either way, at the end of the day you'll always have yourself, right?
"C'mon Y/n. It's time you come out of your shell. It's been years of you just hiding. I'm surprised you haven't had a breaking point yet. You deserve to be yourself with others and share it! It might take a while to find people but you'll learn from that. Not from avoiding it and being fake-"
"Hey! I'm not fake."
"I know you aren't, but you are becoming like those kids in high school to the people you meet."
"What? How? I am nothing like them!" Y/n was pretty upset to hear that.
"Yes you are, even if you aren't like them for the same reasons. Y/n, you are being fake with others. That's what I mean. I know you don't like to hear this but in order for change to happen, you need to just face it. I just want you to be happy and live life without having to hide yourself anymore. You are an adult woman. You are beautiful and you should be proud of your beautiful and smart self!"
It got Y/n thinking, she's always just wanted to move away and start over. Now, here she is in Korea. She thought, I would always say I wanted this. It's now here, maybe I should just start over. I mean no one knows me here. Maybe this is my chance to be more confident and present myself.
Y/n always wanted to know what it felt like to be confident. The last time she felt like that was in elementary school to be honest. Since those were the times of innocence, not giving a single fuck and being a fun and happy kid. She started to realize that even though those past relationships are part of why she doesn't meet others, her mind was really her own enemy. The only thing that has made Y/n feel confident in her teen and adult years is dance. She just gets into it and grooves to the song to the point where she's just focusing on the feeling and not her insecurities.
Y/n swallowed, "Okay mom, I will try."
"Pinky promise?"
"Mom we can't pinky promise, remember?"
"I know but it's something you and Chan would always do," Her mom chuckled at the sudden memory, "but can you please promise me you'll actually try and make friends?"
"Yes mom I will try. I might be signing up for tours of the schools soon so maybe I can meet other teachers."
"Sounds good to me! I love you Y/n! I'm proud of you!"
"I love you too mom. Also, did you know that the woman I met at the restaurant is Chan's manager?"
Y/n's mom laughed, "Wow! What a coincidence! Maybe she's an adult you can talk to as well if anything. She won't replace me though." Her mom said sassily.
"Of course she wouldn't replace you mom. She's really funny though."
"Hey! I'm funny!"
They both were just laughing at each other on the phone.
"Okay mom I'm gonna go now. Tell dad I said hi and that I love him too."
"Of course sweetie. We believe in you! Sleep tight my love."
"Thanks mom love you!"
Y/n then decided to go to sleep for the big day tomorrow. Yes, she is surprising Chan and the boys tomorrow but, she told herself that tomorrow will be the beginning of her new beginning.