Alyson and crew were deadly silent as they drove back to the house. Mason's empty seat weighing heavily on everyone.
Once they pulled up to the house the van was already there waiting for them. They were late by an hour or so. Alyson tried to wipe away some of the tears that pooled in her eyes at the sight of the house.
They had no idea how to tell the rest of the family, but Alyson wouldn't let the others tell them she was insistent on telling them herself. Though she didn't trust her voice very much at the moment.
The group sat in the car longer than necessary trying to gather themselves enough to be able to face everyone else. Alyson could still feel Mason's blood on her skin, it burnt. She like the rest didn't have time to change or the will to do so.
So, the blood of battle stuck to their skin.
Alyson wanted nothing more than a hot shower and some alone time. But she would get neither for a while. It was time to update everyone on the information they found.
Taking a deep calming breath, she popped open her door. And stepping out, the sun over head was too bright and the air too calm for the storm raging inside Alyson.
The others followed suit, their eyes downcast and tearful. Even the mighty Dustin was in tears they feel from his eyes without abandon.
The first to greet Alyson was Kit and Koda. They looked up at her with sad eyes knowing the pain she felt. She gave them sad pets.
She drags her feet to the house. She caught her own reflection in the front door.
She looked worse than she thought she did. Her eyes sunken and hollow red from tears. Her hair matted with blood. Her jacket ripped a part, but she didn't feel the cold just the deep hurt that came with death. She met her own eyes and tried to will determination in them.
Without any more hesitation she pulled open the door. The sounds hit her so suddenly she felt like she might fall apart. The sounds of a happy thriving family. It was lunchtime, everyone was gathered at the table.
The air was filled with joy, it almost made Alyson's determination fall apart. But she forced herself to keep going knowing she'd be ruining their happiness.
She stumbled towards the kitchen her body bone tired and every ounce of her felt heavy. When she walked in the first person to notice her was Sarah.
She gasped loudly at Alyson appearance. Instantly all the heads turned to her. A broken girl standing in the doorway. Alyson heard the boys come in after her Alyson didn't need to know that their faces matched her own expression.
Then Sarah said the words Alyson had been expecting.
"Where's Mason?" She asked her voice thin with worry. Tears threatened to spill over, but Alyson willed them away. The boys were not so able. Alyson shook her head.
Realization spread through the room like wildfire. Each person taking a different emotion. Some too shocked to speak or cry. Some instantly burst into tears. Some fists clenched with anger.
"I... I tried to save him I... I swear...I" Alyson started cut off by choking on her tears. No one moved, the air seemed to freeze. Like they were stuck in a photo.
"He was...was too far gone..." Alyson said looking away from the family, she could feel Daniel's gaze the heaviest. His son was taken from him much too early just to save her.
Alyson looked down at her blood covered hands unable to meet any glances.
She jumped out of her skin when some wrapped her up in their arms. The smell of mint and pine whiffed to her. Hayden.
His warm embrace helped her calm down slightly.
The embrace was strong. She snuggled closer into him.
"I'm sorry," She mumbled into his chest.
"Shh, it's not your fault," He said pulling away. Looking down at her.
"What happened?" James' authoritative voice rings out.
"James! Not right now! Can't you see the poor girl is breaking," Sarah shouts at her husband her own tear clear in her voice.
"If she's going to be an Alpha, she's going to need to be able to suck it up and give a report no matter what!" James argues back. Alyson could feel Hayden's grip on her tighten. She tapped him lightly signalling him to let go.
Before anyone could say anything, more Alyson started her story, "He's right. I'll be fine to do this. I have to," Alyson said steeling her voice.
"You all deserve to know what happened," Alyson took a deep breath and started.
"We woke up last night to start our hunting. But there was a group of skinwalkers coming in from the north about a yard or two away. The boys were shifting. So, I when to scope it out then another group came up. And before I knew it, I want on the ground surrounded by skinwalkers. They'd somehow set up a trap knowing that I'd be up in the trees. They cut the branch just enough to make me fall. And cut all the branches surrounding it so I couldn't catch myself."
Alyson took a shaky breath.
"The fall broke my bow and a bunch of arrows. I fought my best. The boys came from killing the other group and were also ambushed." Alyson faltered.
"Then...Then I fell over a skinwalker. A stupid and clumsy thing to do, I know. And Mason..." Alyson stopped again swallowing more tears.
"He saved me, he got cut by a skinwalker. I tried to sow the cut back up like I did with Dylan but there was so...so much blood. My hands kept slipping and it just wouldn't stop. I tried I really did," Alyson said tears in her eyes looking up at the pack trying to get them to understand.
"In the end I wasn't good enough to save him. And I couldn't even prevent him from turning into a skinwalker. I just froze. Dustin had to kill his own brother because I wasn't strong enough!" Alyson shouted her emotions running high. Hayden put a steadying hand on her shoulder.
"Breath," he whispered softly.
"Sorry," She mumbled and whipped away the stray tears.
"After he died. We did our best to give him a proper send off. Collins instructed us. It was beautiful and heart-breaking all at once. But I can show you better than I can speak it," Alyson said her shoulders dropping.
She closed her eyes and when to the flaming memory of her own. She could feel her own pain in it the sorrow she felt it made tears break out all over again. Then watched the memory cut off before she spoke her words to him. Those were for only the two of them.
She gathered the ashes of the memory. She painted it with a beautiful air and hoped it'd bring some peace to some of them but force the healing process. She left in some of her raw pain.
She blew them sending them to everyone, excluding the babies.
She followed the one meant for Hayden so she could see what it felt like.
The pain was lessened slightly but there was a certain peace to it.
She pulled out when the memory was over.
Sarah looked at her with a small smile.
"That was beautiful, Alyson. Thank you," She said softly.
"Thank you. But you should really thank Collins he knew exactly what to do," Alyson said gently touching the weeping boy's shoulder. His shoulders soften at her touch. Alyson felt her heart shatter even more as she willed herself to look at everyone in the room.
"I know mason's death is my fault, I know it was clumsy and stupid of me to go off alone. I know I could've saved him so many times over again." Alyson said Hayden started to say something, but Alyson held up a hand and shook her head no at him.
"This loss will not be taken lightly. I as the next alpha in line will do my absolute best to make sure Mason's sacrifice was justified. I know many of you would very much rather have Mason around instead of me, and trust me if Mason and I could trade places I would in an instant," Alyson said looking over to James and then over her shoulder at Dustin.
"Alyson, stop," Hayden said his voice equal parts angry and sad.
"How could you say that?" Hayden says his brows creased.
"Hayden, please. This isn't the time for that," Alyson said giving him a pointed look.
"No! It is the time for this!" Hayden said grabbing Alyson's shoulders and turning her to face him.
"If you really want to honour Mason's memory don't downplay the sacrifice, he made for you!" Hayden said his voice quaking.
"But I was dumb and reckless, and I got him killed. It was all me! All my stupid ideas. My idiotic belief that I could possibly handle something like this! I volunteered for him to come even when everyone else didn't think it was a good idea. I'm stupid and reckless! I know better now! I need to listen when people are telling me my limits!" Alyson said back her voice small but held strong emotions.
"God, Alyson why can't you see that not everything is always your fault?!" Hayden screamed at her.
"Because, I know I'm no god and I do shit wrong constantly. No please stop. You're making a scene. We can talk about this more later!" Alyson said her eyes razor sharp on Hayden. She could practically feel the anger oozing out of him. Everyone's eyes glued to them in stunned silence. Hayden does what he always does when he's angry he runs.
Alyson takes a deep breath and looks over the family. Their eyes shining with tears.
"You know he'd right Alyson," Daniel said his voice sounding strong and wise even in his grief. Alyson let out a breath of tension filled air.
"That's not the topic at hand right now. This isn't about me. This is about morning our dead pack member. I'll get over this being dead isn't something someone can fix," Alyson said trying to steer the topic away from herself. She could feel tears burning the back of her eyes but forced them to stay there.
"Tomorrow we'll have a chat with the elders. But for today I... I think I'm going to take a shower," Alyson said backing away from the group. Their eyes follow her a chill runs up her spine. She flees the area as quickly as she can.
But there's always that one Were she can't escape.
Hayden sits in their room waiting for her. She almost turns around and leaves but looks down at her blood-soaked hands if she ran, she'd be doing what she always blames him for. She reluctantly goes into their room.
"Alyson," he says so softly it almost makes her break.
"Hayden, please I don't want to talk about it right now. I just want a nice shower and a long nap," Alyson says her voice barely above a whisper.
He doesn't say anything more but comes up and wraps his arms around her holding her tight.
"I love you," He says burying his face into her bush of hair. Alyson returns the embrace.
"I love you too," she says burying her face into his chest. His warm embrace made things just a bit more bearable, not perfect but just more bearable.
Hayden pulls away first. "Now go take a shower, you smell like wet dog," he says with a hint of a smile.
"Like you got a lot of room to talk," she shoots back at him.
When she gets into the shower only then does, she allows herself to let the flood gate open. Tears she'd been holding back ever since she watched him die came flooding down. She'd already shed a few but now she really allowed herself to release.
She looked through with blurred eyes as the pink water slowly turned clear, a familiar sight. Though this time it brought no sense of comfort only deep seeded pain knowing that one of her best and only friends had died for her.
Alyson's eyes burned with the number of tears she let loose. Once she ran out of tears, she started to actually clean the caked blood off herself.
She remembered what happened last time she smelt the irony tinge of blood in the shower. The thought made her sick. She quickly finished her shower.
When she came back into the room Hayden was talking to someone outside their room with the door left slightly open. Just enough so she could hear the conversation inf the sound damped room.
"Yes, I know I shouldn't have exploded on her like that, dad. I just couldn't help it! I'd just lost my brother and then my mate kept spitting some bullshit about it being her fault! She completely disrespected Mason's sacrifice!" Hayden said the words slipping from his mouth angry and hurt.
"Yes, I know you're hurting Hayden. We all are. But that wasn't the place to do that at. The poor girl had a hard-enough time actually telling us what happened, let alone her mate yelling at her for a mentality she couldn't help," Daniel said his voice taking the tone of the father Alyson thought of him as.
"I know, it was just so aggravating!" Hayden said.
"I know, but you need to learn how to keep that anger in check. You know how many times you've hurt that poor girl by only thinking on how angry it made you. Do you ever stop to think how much she's hurting? How much she needs you?"
"Hayden, you have to remember before us she had no one! Not a soul! Everything is so new to her. Not even to mention all the Were stuff. She's trying her best to make the right discussions and keep everyone safe and happy while she's suffering so much inside."
"You need to be the person who she feels she's able to confide in, not the person who expects her to be a perfect human 24-7," Daniel's words rung through Alyson's mind somehow making more tears pool in her eyes. She thought they were all gone. It felt good for someone to stick up for her and be on her side without her having to even ask.
Hayden didn't say anything back, but Alyson didn't need to see him to know the shame that burned inside him.
"You got that?" Daniel asks.
"Yeah, dad. thanks," Hayden said. shifting his feet back towards the door. Alyson quickly shut the door to the bathroom and wrapped the towel around her head making it look like she'd just finished getting dressed.
She opened the bathroom door to see Hayden leaning heavily on the desk his back towards her.
"Hey, you okay?" Alyson asked coming over and putting a hand on his back softly. Some of the tension released at her touch.
"Yeah, I was just thinking," he said softly. She gently put her head on his shoulder. Daniel's speech made her realize how much pressure Hayden was under and how hurt he was too. Though it wasn't meant for her it made her see some stuff too.
Hayden placed a gentle kiss on top of her head.
"Come lay with me, I'm sure you're just as tired as I am," Alyson said pulling Hayden away from the desk. He allowed her without protest.
Alyson pulled them into bed.
Both lay there quietly, neither able to go to sleep.
"Hey," they said in unison.
"You go first," Alyson said laying her head on his chest taking in all the warmth and comfort she possibility could.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blown up on you earlier in front of everyone. I shouldn't have been so conceded and angry at you. I just-" Alyson cut him off with a kiss. Their lips moving in sync. Alyson broke off the kiss first.
"It's okay. I know you were just worried about me. I'm sorry too for being such a bitch," Alyson said breathing heavy looking deeply into Hayden's eyes. He gave her his breathtakingly beautiful smile.
"It's okay," he said ending his sentence with a small kiss of his own. Both tried to keep their emotions in check. But the emotions were running high much too high for either of them to truly contain them.
Small kisses lead to deeper kisses, which lead to exploitative hands.
Alyson slowly trailed her hand up Hayden's shirt. Her hands moving to explore more of him.
Before she could get too far, he chuckled and flipped them over. "I don't think so, little miss alpha," Hayden said his voice heavy with desire.
Alyson surely hadn't expected this from him but allowed him to take control. He dipped down for another kiss his hands trailing up and pulling away her shirt as he broke the kiss.
"Far is fair," Alyson said reaching up and pulling his shirt off. Alyson couldn't help but gawk at his athletic body.
Hayden undid the latch to her bra and froze his eyes taking in every inch of her. His face clouded over.
"What's wrong?" She asked softly feeling suddenly self-conscious.
"Nothing, I knew you were beautiful with clothes on, but I'd never imagined how much more. beautiful you are without them," he said.
"Oh, speak for yourself, Mr," she said leaning up to lessen the gap so she could place a gentle kiss on his lips. He pulled away much too soon for her liking.
"Are you sure about this?" He asked softly almost nervously.
"More sure than I've ever been about something in my entire life," Alyson said her voice soft and full of need pulling him down into another deep kiss. Hayden needed no more conformation after this as he popped open the side drawer and grabbed a condom.
"Does every man keep those there?" Alyson asked softly.
"Only the smart ones," Hayden says a smile on his lips.
Alyson made a hum noise like she disagreed with that sentence, "if you say so."
"No need I'll show you," He said his voice husky.