Deep Conversation
~The past~
'Come on Diana, again'. Kekoa egged as I let a heavy breath fall from my lips, sweat trickling down my face to my neck, we've been going at this for an hour.
'But I'm tired, can't I just have a minute of rest'. I begged as he shook his head, a firm no.
I pouted but still tried again. Again I failed to raise my foot as high as the balloon attached to the wall.
'I can't do it'. I finally gave up after the tenth try. I just couldn't, I'm not flexible enough and I'm not even tall enough to do it.
I plopped myself onto the damp grass as Zeus and Artemis trotted over to me, I smiled as I looked down at them and rubbed both their heads.
I heard his footsteps but refused to look up. He'd make me want to do it, with some sappy motivational talk about how I'm talented and how my Mum would be proud if I could do what she did, and as if on cue he began.
'You know you're psyching yourself out of doing this right? It's all in your head, you're so focused on the fact that you're not tall enough or flexible enough to do it that you try based off on that negative energy, stop it'. He said as I scrunched my nose up in confusion, this isn't the usual motivational pep talk, but it's working either way.
'Get up, let me teach you something'.
'Ughhh'. I groaned as I sluggishly got to my feet.
'One thing I taught your Mum was to always have a positive mindset, and if you do have that mindset you'd be able to do it and I'm sure if you did your Mum would be very proud of you'. There it is. I giggled to myself at the expected phrase but listened intently to what he was saying.
'Rule one is to always be positive, when there's something you can't do, picture yourself doing it and practice over and over until you see yourself doing it, rule two, if those negative thoughts threaten to break your ability to do something, pick one sound out of everything happening around you and focus really hard on that, clear your mind of any conflicting or distracting sound or thought and focus on one sound or that one voice inside you'.
I let his words sink in and nodded, I slowly breathed in and looked over to the balloon attached high onto the wall. I closed my eyes and pictured myself doing it, I tried it again but failed.
I groaned in frustration and kicked at the grass, I watched as little fragments of torn up grass flew up, the wind immediately whisking it away, I looked over at Kekoa as he nodded encouragingly.
'Inner voice'.
Once again I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly, I imagined myself doing it and focused all my attention to my so called inner voice and then I heard it. I heard her.
'You can do it Diana'. I opened my eyes immediately and stared straight at the balloon, it was my Mum.
'This was the second time I've heard her voice but how?' I thought to myself as I looked down, shaking my head.
'You can do it amoureus'. [Sweetheart] that nickname, now I was sure it was her.
I smiled faintly to myself at hearing her voice encourage me and turned back to the balloon with newfound confidence. I breathed in slowly and picked one sound around me, the sound of her voice and focused on it.
I kicked as high as I could and stretched as far as my body would let me and then I heard it, I heard the pop. I opened my eyes and saw the popped balloon pieces flutter slowly to the ground and immediately jumped in excitement.
'I did it, I did it Mum'. I said as my eyes became teary, Kekoa walked over to me and engulfed me in a bear hug.
'See I told you, you could do it'.
'Yeah just with a little bit of encouragement'. I said as I wiped my eyes before he could see them.
'Your Mum would be so proud'. I snorted at the phrase again and rolled my eyes.
'You need to find something better to say'. He chuckled heartily and spun me around, rustling up my hair in the process.
He gently put me down and dropped to one knee, he held my shoulders firmly so I would look him in his eyes as he placed his hand on my cheek and smiled ever so softly. It kind of reminded me of Dad.
'Why are you thinking of him? He tried to kill you'. I thought but I didn't know why.
'Ke kaikamahine aʻu i makemake ai e mālama'. [The daughter I wish I saved]
'Always remember this Diana, stay positive even in the worst situations, never panic, it doesn't solve anything and the reason I always say your Mum would be proud of you is because she already is, I just wish she was here to say it'. He said as he brushed his hand over my head, just like Dad used to do.
'Stop it'. My mind warned but I heeded nothing.
'I wish she was too'. I took my hands and wrapped them around his large frame as he did the same, it reminded me of when I used to hug Dad.
'No, don't'. My mind yelled but I kept going.
'Let's go inside, it's time for dinner, I made Loco Moco'. He said as I smiled widely, my arm wrapped around his waist. I always loved Hawaiian, Dad used to make it.
'Please, he's gone, don't bring him back'.
I whistled loudly as Zeus and Artemis came running to our feet as we all made our way inside, the thoughts of Dad disappearing as soon as we made our way into the comfy, warm house.
I stared up at Kekoa and smiled as another tear fell from my eye, he looked down at me with so much love and happiness that it always filled my heart and at that point I knew I would never compare him to Dad. Kekoa will never be like Dad, he's been a better father figure and he loves me and I love him too and that was the last time I thought of my Dad.
~The present~
Right until now. I look down at the shriveled, aged photo of my father and I in my clammy hands and stare at it in disgust.
'Why couldn't you just deal with the loss like a real father would'. I think out loud as I immerse myself in the old photo of him smiling and I on his shoulder, giggling so hard at whatever my Mum must've said. I let out a long exasperated sigh and about to put the photo back in my wallet when I'm startled by the one person I could never get the jump on.
I immediately turn around, stuffing the picture in my back pocket and facing Kekoa as he leans on my door frame.
'You really need to learn to close your door'. He says with a hearty smile as I chuckle to myself almost forgetting the thoughts that threatened my sanity.
'Yeah'. I say distantly, the haunting feelings immediately flooding back. I shake my head in efforts to get rid of them but to no avail. Kekoa stares at me thoughtfully for a while before making his way beside me; he places his hands on my shoulders and leads me out the door.
'Not here. Come on'. There's meaning behind his words so I don't question it and wordlessly allow him to whisk me away.
We make our way outside the Circle and into his old but classy 1957 Chevrolet; I sit in the passenger seat and wait for him to get in, I look into the rearview mirror and spot some luggage on the back seat, he gets into the car but I say nothing about the bags.
'Talk to me keiki'. [Child] he says as he starts the car to drive around the Circle while we talk, I think about just starting with the memory but I ask a question instead.
'Why are we in the car?'.
He sighs as the car begins to move; he looks at me for while then nods to himself. 'Can't have these kind of conversations in the Circle, I know you trust their methods but don't trust everything, you're being watched 24/7 and conversation about your Dad isn't one of those conversations I'd want them to be having a show with'.
I nod thoughtfully. 'So you did see the picture'. I say in a questioning tone as he shrugs.
'You're not always that discrete y'know'. He says as I chuckle lightly. 'But yes, I saw it and just so you know, it's okay to think about him once in a while'.
I open my mouth about to protest but he keeps talking. 'He did horrible, unspeakable things, yes, but he was your father and once in your lifetime you loved him but now he's dead and it's okay to reminisce'. He says solemnly as I nod at every word.
'Now talk to me'.
I narrate the whole ordeal with the memories and the mission I'm about to embark on as he listens intently and nods at my every word. I'm done narrating the whole story, with articulated gesture to match how absurd some of the things I'm saying might sound-- the theories I have about the mission and I look up at him and he looks deep in thought.
'I know it sounds shady why all of you are going but maybe its necessary, due to the fact that this Simon is working with an uncertain number of people, maybe backup is the best option, you may be one of the best Assassin but we all still need help sometimes'. He says as I nod but still have an iffy vibe about the whole thing.
'I know, I know, it just seems weird is all'. I say as he nods and parks the car on the outskirt of the road.
We sit in silence for a while as thoughts float through both our heads when I break it. 'I know there are reasons why the Circle does some things but why do I feel sketchy about this mission, I've never felt this before on other missions'. I say with a look of confusion sweeping over my features.
He whips his head over to me and gives me a long stare. 'Stick to that gut feeling'. He says and he looks like he has more to say but he stays quiet, I nudge him a little to keep going, he looks over to me again and a look of conflict flashes in his eyes, he shakes his head and decides to tell me whats on his mind.
'Your Mum. She had that gut feeling before she died, on her last mission, she kept telling me she felt weird about it, that she felt she wasn't going to make it out alive but she still went for it and now I wish I listened to her'. He says as he places his head on the steering wheel, he lets out a heavy sigh and I don't know what to say so I place my hand on his back and rub soothingly.
He raises his head and turns to me. 'If you ever get that gut feeling, go with it, always be on high alert, never trust anyone if that's the case, I can't lose you too'. He says as tears form at the brim of his eyes.
'I'm not going anywhere elemakule. You know I'm not afraid of dying if it means everyones safe'. [Old man] I say as he nods with a small smile.
'I know. That's the problem'. He says as we chuckle, I feel my phone vibrate and take it out of my pocket, I see a message from Rich telling me to come back and I look over at Kekoa, he waves me off and starts the car; he drives us back to the Circle and parks at the lot.
'Diana be safe, stick to that gut feeling and if things ever get out of hand, I need you and your closet allies to go to the safe zone. It's out of reach from the Circle and the Feds, it can't be tracked or located'. He says quickly as he places a small metal key and a note in my hand.
'Keep your allies close, specifically Rich'. He rushes out as I look at him confused, prepared to open the note in my sweaty palm. Questions bubble around in my head as I open my mouth about to ask but he gives me a stare as if saying later and I nod nervously about to open the door and leave when he takes my hand and pulls me into a hug.
'I'm going away for a while, while you're on your mission, there's a code for the safe zone and a number you can call on your burner phone if you need to reach me. Don't worry I'll be safe, I just need to be away from all this as it's going down. Be safe Diana. I love you'. He says as he pulls away, he stares at me and looks like he's about to cry but keeps it in and opens the door.
'I'll see you after your mission which ends approximately in 3 weeks'. He says looking around the area suspiciously, he lowers his voice and stares me dead in my eyes.
'Don't let anyone know your whereabouts, when or if you ever go to the safe house make sure you all scan yourselves for any trackers. See you later'. He says with a small smile, he never liked the word goodbye, he felt it meant forever; sometimes it did.
'I'll see you later pāpā'. I say as I exit the car, I watch him look at me for a little longer before be hits the gas and zooms off, leaving a trail of dust and dirt in his wake.
'I promise I'll be safe and I'll keep them safe hoa aloha'. [Old friend] I make a silent promise to myself, Kekoa, my Mother and to them.
I wipe a loose tear and make my way into the Circle where I'm greeted by Rich's soft face, he stares at me but says nothing as we walk back to the training room.
'Let's go get ready'. He says with a smirk as a small smile greets my face.
Hey hey everyone, sorry for the delay, I know you must probably hate me, I'd hate me too but I'm back and better and we have so much in store for you all.
Anyways this is another chapter, let me know what you think about it and who else is loving the family bounding between Diana and Kekoa, worry not friends, their origins will be brought into light sooner or later.
And who else is wondering why Kekoa mentioned Rich, why is he so important, you'll find out soon.
By the way this chapters languages are Hawaiian and French.
Stay safe and God bless♥️♥️
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Arigato everyone♡♡