#Chapter 23: If I'd known that a boy dressed in flowers could be this pretty...
I looked peculiarly at my open palm.
Didn't I have scratches on it yesterday? How did they just disappear?
"It's time for me to go," Cassian stood up from the couch after he'd calmed down, and I got up as well. "I keep running out of my meetings these days..."
Again?
"Why do you keep doing such useless things..." I mumbled, playing awkwardly with my fingers. We had been sitting in silence with our thoughts for the past few minutes. I couldn't get the moment of those little explosions around me out of my mind.
His power is scary...
He frowned. "It's not useless when it comes to you. You're the one doing useless things, hiding all this from me." Then he turned towards Avea. "Call a wind elemental to help clear up the glass. I'll take responsibility of all fees for getting everything fixed." He looked at me with furrowed brows. "I'm sorry about the mess, Nora. I really don't know what happened."
"It's fine, I'll take care of this stuff, you should just go." I smiled at him gently, but he shook his head with an annoyed face.
"...Tell me these things from now on. Don't worry everything on your own, I'll take care of it all. Who am I? I've been with you for all these years, haven't I?"
What...
I felt my heart clench at his words. I blinked at him before looking down.
As expected of the main lead. Kindness is such a pain. How do I push you away when you'd do all that for me?
I looked up and took a few steps closer.
I keep telling you to stay away. But you seriously...
"Aren't you tired of me?" I asked him. "I'm crazy, you know? Promises can be broken; you don't have to do all this."
At my words, he raised his eyebrows. "Are you the only one who's crazy?" Avea helped him put his coat on, but he continued to look at me. "I'm the one who's crazier for still sticking to you. I know that. That I should leave you for the both of us." His tone had a tinge of self-depreciation. "That's why I keep telling you to get better and remember already."
That wasn't possible even if he wished it. He'd tried leaving before, I knew that from my memories and the book, but Nora of course never let him go. But now that I was a shell without memories, he believes he can't just leave. Cassian is probably the biggest mystery with how stubbornly he refuses to let go of Nora even with all the irrational and extreme things she's done. I sighed at us. What a mess.
"You still don't love me, right?" I asked him.
"You know that, don't you?" He gave me a bitter smile.
"But you still won't let me go?"
There was silence. I kept watching Cassian. He had a complicated expression on with pursed lips. Then they parted.
"Do I only deserve to have my childhood friend beside me if I love you like that?" He ran a hand through his hair. "What have I done to deserve having to part from you? Aren't you the one who was selfish first by falling in love? Why am I the only one who can't be selfish and want you here?"
He said all this very quickly, with furrowed brows, as if he was very frustrated. It was an outburst that surprised me. I hadn't known from the book that he had depended on Nora to that extent. My mind was swirling in confusion. I couldn't understand him. And then his quiet voice reached out to my ears. It sounded weak.
"...Don't you need me?"
I...
I thought about him. His feelings. And then I thought of everything that had happened. I thought of his question.
Don't I need him?
The communication papers, the rope spell during the kidnapping, the daggers, the day of the ball, the servants, this aide... How much has he helped me? What would have happened to me already if not for him?
I opened my lips timidly.
"I do need you..."
A smile finally blossomed across Cassian's lips at my words. It's like the vivid colours were back in his eyes and cheeks. He spoke firmly, with relief and happiness.
"I need you, too."
I bit my lip. He continued, "Now don't worry about anything. Leave it all to me. I'll have this estate cleaned up for you. Do you want to live in Aldebaran for a while?"
...So this is what this kindness feels like. What being needed feels like.
It's sweet. Like honey. It's covering me up, dripping down slowly. It's pleasure. And temptation.
It's like he's saying, 'I'm your person.'
...I've never had this before.
...It's fine as long as I don't fall in love, right?
I took a few more steps closer to him and reached my hands out. He blinked at me as I wrapped them around his torso and laid my cheek against his chest. I could hear his heart beating.
"...Nora?" His voice sounded surprised.
"Thank you," I murmured. "Thank you for being someone I can rely on."
He was quiet for a few moments.
"...You're not acting right now." His voice was soft; I could hear a smile in his tone. I blinked, feeling a red blush rush up to my ears. He knew I was acting before?
"I was never acting...! See how much I love you? I can't even let go of you now. And it's all your fault!"
I heard him let out a little laugh. His voice rang clearly in my ears. His arms slid lightly around my back and wrapped me in them. It made me feel all sorts of ways.
"Then don't... We only ever had each other. Why do you keep trying to leave?"
...Ah.
We'd hugged like this when we were two kids.
I got to my senses and moved back. I gave him a sugary smile. "Come back soon, my dear Cassian."
Seeing this, Cassian shook his head, almost disappointedly and gently stroked the top of my head before he teleported.
As soon as he disappeared, my smile left my lips and I turned towards Avea. My sugary tone had vanished.
"His name is Risor. He works in the garden." I stared into her eyes.
"Don't touch him."
I was daring her to challenge or disobey. But I didn't have to. Avea nodded without hesitation.
"As you say, Lady Eleonora. Would you like me to prepare a room in the estate for him?"
I blinked in surprise, and then relaxed a little. I waved my hand dismissively. "No, that's all." I walked towards the door to leave and then turned back with realization. "Ah, that maid who's staying in that room..."
"Yes, my lady?"
"Don't send her away." After all, I've already punished her myself when I ended up losing control and getting violent with her. "Let her be. Make sure she's taken care of. She can do whatever she wants."
"I will make sure of it, my lady."
I smiled at Avea. "Thank you very much." She makes everything so easy. All I have to do is open my mouth.
But I regretted opening my mouth too much a few days later.
"Just why...!" I whined, leaning back against the sofa. "Why are there so many things to do?!"
"These are all the classes my lady had asked for." Avea's brown eyes looked at me with the same expressionless face as ever as I complained about my packed schedule.
As I now had money and a little power, I decided to take matters into my own hands and asked Altair to prepare a schedule for me of all the necessary lessons that a noblewoman might need. I won't let myself be in a disadvantage again.
But it's so much...!
And not to mention, I'm a trash with procrastination issues.
"This won't do," I waved my hand in denial. "I can't do this."
Avea nodded with no hesitation. "As you wish, I will cancel all the classes-"
"No!" I cried out. "Don't cancel them all! I'm just... lazy today... you know?"
"Then I will cancel all classes today and have the teachers sent back-"
"No, can't you just cancel a few..."
"Please rest here idly; I will send the teachers on their long journeys back to the carriages-"
"Agh, alright, alright... What a ruthless woman, I'll go, I'll go so please..."
"...A wise decision, Lady Eleonora." She complimented me and gave a slight bow. It embarrassed me a little and I raised an annoyed brow at her. What's with that expressionless face anyway? Isn't she a robot at this point?
"Gah!" I huffed and stood up from the couch after this failed tantrum; my red-haired aide was too fierce an opponent. I thought I heard her snicker as he followed behind me, but that's just my imagination. I know now that this woman was definitely secretly a robot.
A few days later, during a break between my lessons, I was crouching next to Risor again, as he watered the plants. The sunlight cast a soft and warm glow on us. The breeze cooled our skin and the leaves ruffling was a calm soundtrack, along with the sound of falling drops of water.
And you knot this stem around that one... and then...
I was concentrating really hard on making a flower crown. It was hard not to accidentally twist a stem too far and break it.
"And done!" I exclaimed happily and then turned towards Risor. He put down his watering can to smile at me and gave me a little applause. I leaned in close towards him and placed the crown on his head.
He blinked at me, freezing for a moment before reaching towards it and brushing his fingers across the soft petals.
Meanwhile, I had frozen for a different reason. I was watching Risor to admire my masterpiece, but it was his face that caught my eye. Till now, I never really had a chance to openly look at him like this and now that I was...
If I'd known that a boy dressed in flowers could be this pretty...
I stared at his face smiling at me while we were surrounded by ethereal flowers. My eyes that could only focus on him in this moment, in them he was glowing. As expected of a creature that didn't exist in the real world... I never realized Risor's golden eyes were this breath-taking. If I'd known that a boy dressed in flowers could be this pretty...
"I'd tear down all buildings and create nations full of gardens."
Amazing, Risor. You've got me writing poetry in my mind at your sight.
He tilted his head in confusion at my murmured words. I slowly smiled at him. "I was just thinking about how pretty you are. Are you even real?"
His golden eyes widened before he averted his gaze, a gorgeous blush flowing up his skin and tingeing his ears pink. Ever since I met him, I never really held back any compliments because I needed him to like me, and now these words came out easily. Not to mention, his reactions were worth it.
Still not looking at me, he suddenly held up a beautiful blue and pink morning glory towards me. I gently touched its petal.
"Then you're prettier than any flower in this garden."
I blinked in surprise at his sweet words, feeling a little shy. But he was more embarrassed than I could be. It made me want to tease him.
"Just this garden?"
His eyes widened and he finally looked at me. "No! Any garden!"
He noticed how I was smiling at him and then he shut his eyes tight and he pursed his lips, looking down.
"You're teasing me..."
"What's this? Are you sulking?" I leaned in closer to look at his face, but he just turned away.
"Who's sulking...?"
I couldn't stop my laughter from bubbling out anymore. Why's he this cute?
"Lady Eleonora."
Ah... it's the red devil.
I grimaced and turned towards my aide who had come to fetch me.
"It's time for your next lesson."
"I curse the day I told you to fix my schedule."
"The day has passed, Lady Eleonora. I'm afraid curses would make no difference."
I groaned at this noisy woman and stood up to leave. But before I could take a step further-
"Huh?"
Risor had reached out, holding onto my fingertips. Avea immediately cut in.
"A servant dares to-" But she was interrupted by my glare.
Risor took back his hand and stood up with pursed lips. Then he quickly wrote something on his notebook.
"Thank you for the crown. I will treasure it."
Ahh... Why is he so adorable?
I gave him the brightest smile I could. "Don't worry. I'll make you more anytime you want, if you just say you."
His tightened eyebrows relaxed at my smile, and he gave one back to me.
Avea and I turned to leave. Once we were making our way in the open corridor, the aide took this as cue to lecture me.
"Lady Eleonora, a servant, especially a man at that mustn't be able to touch you as he pleases; this goes against the-"
"I know, I know," I interrupted her, an annoyed tone in my voice. I glanced back at Risor who was feeling the flower crown in his fingers as he stood in the garden. "Don't think of him as just any servant walking around the house." I looked at her with a serious gaze. "I don't care what anyone says when it comes to him. You all don't know anything anyway."
I'd promised Risor I'd protect him. He was my only support when I came into this world. As if I'd let such little things get in the way.
"It doesn't matter no matter how many rumours spread," I told Avea. "No one else has a say in this."
Just Risor and I get to decide.
And if there comes a time when he wants to leave me...
Well. I won't let it get to that point.
"He's the one?"
"The one without a tongue."
Hmm?
I turned my head at the voices of a few servants talking in the hallway.
"So he can't talk?"
"Of course not."
"How strange."
"How would he kiss then?"
They giggled at their jokes. I pursed my lips, my fists clenching. Avea scolded them and shooed them away. They put their heads down and left, but they were still laughing. The original servants had long left the estate, but the new ones were not much different; they just didn't abuse me. After all, everyone already knew of Eleonora Sollea's nickname and her antics. But to think they were also low like this...
...I wonder if Risor hears such things...
After my horrifying lessons and dinner, I finally made my way back to my room in the late evening. I closed my doors behind me and turned towards my room with a sigh when-
"Finally, storyteller."
"What the fu-!" I held back a scream at the sight of the curly blonde-haired boy laying upside down on my couch.
"I almost died of boredom while waiting for you." He pushed himself up to sit properly and gave me a look as if this was completely normal.
Well, he wasn't wrong, exactly. As I had become so busy with my lessons, I didn't have as much time to go to my hideout. Rezel and I decided to make my room our new meeting spot and this is where we began to hang out more often.
"You scared the hell out of me," I muttered as I walked further into the room and Rezel just shrugged, but I noticed his smirk. I raised my eyebrows. That dirty little bastard! He wanted to surprise me!
I plopped down next to him on the couch and leaned back comfortably, relaxing my muscles. "What kind of story would you like today, child?"
He turned on his side to face me and placed his elbow on the backrest of the couch, and held his cheek in his palm as he watched me.
"No story. I've decided to reward you today."
At this, I turned towards him with wide eyes. "A reward? For me?!"
He snorted at my sudden excitement and snapped his fingers. In a flash, bottles of alcohol appeared on the table. "It's been a while," he said as he stretched his arms with a yawn and then his glassy brown eyes looked into mine. "Let's drink."
The two drinking buddies prepared for yet another wild night together.