S E V E N
Lunch rolls around sooner than i'd hoped, after nearly having my skull smashed in Nathan went out for a meeting and i hung around with Mike and Jane in Mike's office.
"So Jane, how do you know Anna?" Mike leans on his desk, clasping his hands together and waiting for her reply. Jane thinks for a moment, "well, we were introduced at a christmas party and we hit it off quite quickly" She explains, glancing at me. I nod in agreement, smiling at the memory.
Their voices fade into the background as i space out staring at my rings, going over random memories i forgot i had.
I pull into my parking spot a little pissed off by that dick driver. I carry all the bags up to the entrance and into the elevator, I exit it and I'm greeted by a person bent over looking for something in my flower pot. Me like the crazy woman I am, I drop the grocery bags and run towards the person, kicking them in their side and onto the floor further away than an arms distance from the pot.
The guy groans and sits up "what the heck lady?" He holds his side looking down. I scowl and cross my arms over my chest "what were you trying to do next to my apartment?" He sighs "you told me the keys were in the fucking flower pot!" He stands up rubbing his side.
When he looks up and our eyes meet I feel a sense of familiarity, but brush it off. "You're the guy?" He let's out a dry laugh "yeah no shit" I roll my eyes and pick the key out of the pot then unlock the door turning to him "well? Get in" I gesture for him to get his ass in.
My heart aches as i recall the first time i saw him.
Who knew we'd end up where we are right now with such a memorable past, that we'd make so many good and bad memories together, that i would be the one to walk away from us.
"Anna?" Mike calls, bringing me back from my zone. "Sorry, excuse me for a bit" I smile, standing up and rushing out of his office, desperate for some fresh air i push the glass door open to the rooftop garden, stepping out into the chilly afternoon air.
I sigh, letting the door go behind me and walking to the railing lined with colourful flowers and healthy green leaves. The colour of the leaves remind me of Nathan's warm eyes, or what used to be warm.
Now they're just... tired and cold, emotionless at times too. I miss the old Nathan and Anna, the ones who used to argue over pointless shit and get into each others faces for ridiculous reasons, only to make up a few days later.
I miss what Nathan and i were before. Before everything happened, before Jason came along to ruin me once and for all. What did he get out of it? He died in the end anyway, except this wasn't like other stories, Nathan and i never got our happy ever after.
We got our happy never after. We may act like denial filled assholes but we both know deep down, or at least i do, that i'm not as happy as i would've been with him. When i had Nathan, everything seemed to be easier. He made me feel things i never thought i could feel, he loved me with all my flaws and i his.
He genuinely loved me and i was too selfish to see it. I was too busy trying to protect either of us from getting hurt instead of working to make things better.
I ruined every fighting chance we had. I'll shamelessly admit that when i flew into London, while i was on that plane a huge portion of me hoped i'd get Nathan back.
I know what you're thinking, this unhappy bitch has a wonderful guy back in Seattle who's so obviously perfect for her.
And you're right, i do. But i don't want perfect, there's no such thing as perfect. There is the imperfectly scarred people and the imperfectly perfect people. And Nathan is both. He's imperfectly perfectly scarred, that makes no sense but it does to me.
He's not your poster boy, the guy every parent hopes their daughter will marry, he's the kind of guy not every girl would see a future with, but only the girls who stick around long enough to see the real Nathan. The Nathan i know.
Does this Danielle chick even know know Nathan the way i do?
"You're thinking hard, sweetpea" i jump at the sudden voice beside me, i turn my head to meet his gaze. He has a soft smile on his face, his arms rested on the railing, eyes trained on the skyline.
There's very minimal amounts of sun rays peaking through the clouds, but they strike his face in all the right directions, casting an angelic glow on his rough features.
His eyes are a brighter puddle of green in the sun, the colour is so peaceful in contrast to his mind going 1 million miles a minute, his eyes tired. "I'm not.. a-and don't call me that" i lie, turning to face the skyline to avoid staring at him any longer. Its harder to talk to him when his beauty is so captivating.
From the corner of my eye i see his lips curl into a smirk "Sure you aren't" he completely ignores my request, or command, i'm not sure how i meant it. Then again i didn't mean it when i told him to stop calling me that either.
"Why are you here?" I ask softly, its silent for a few moments as he stares out into the world. He sighs "Same reason you are"
I cock a brow "How do you know why i'm out here?" I ask, confused. "For starters, you look like you need to breathe before you turn blue in the face" he comments. "And second of all, you're tense, i can tell by the way you stand, shoulders stiff, breathing shallow..." he trails off, finally looking at me.
His eyes burn holes into the side of my cheek. Don't look at him. His eyes have always been a weakness of mine, when i looked into them it felt as if his emotions were pouring into my own soul. It was an overwhelming feeling, it still is.
"Look at me.." he asks, his voice soothing. His eyes trained on my face.
Don't.
"Please..." he whispers. I curse under my breath "i can't.." i mumble, sucking in all the emotions that are now spilling out the sides. He moves closer "Please, Anastasia" he pleads. As i turn to meet his gaze, his stormy eyes search my face.
"I mi-" i cover his mouth quickly, before he can speak any further. "Don't. Just.. don't" i look away, anywhere but at his face. He slips his fingers around my wrist, tugging it away from his face gently. "Why not? Is it going to hurt to hear?" I can hear the suppressed anger in his voice, his grip on mg wrist tightens a little. My body shivers, and its not because i'm cold.
"Nathan let go..." i whisper, stubbornly avoiding his eyes. But he doesn't budge "Tell me Anna, why..." he trails off, like he can't finish the sentence.
Thank god, because i can't hear it. Its too much to take in for one day, i can't handle it. Not now, not today.
"Nathan please, not today" I hate that i can't keep my composure around him, i can pretend with everyone but him.
He grabs my other wrist as i try to pull away, pulling me closer "What're you gonna do, hm? Run away? Like you did 3 years ago?" He growls, anger and sadness vibrating off him in waves.
Tears prick my eyes as i fight them back, i can't break down in front of him, not when we've just met.
"This is stupid nathan, let go" i demand, snapping my head up to look at him through glassy eyes. He has a scowl on his face, but i can see the pain on it as clear as day. He doesn't move an inch, making no attempt to let go.
"Stupid? You think this is stupid?" He spits, his expression changing from sad to pained.
I can't do this right now.
Before my tears can betray me, i tug at his grip "Nathan let go, you're hurting me" he jerks me back abruptly, his eyes welling up. "Oh i'm sorry" he spits sarcastically, leaning against the metal banister and looking down.
"I-i'm sorry, just please. If you want to talk, we can talk. Just not today" i adjust the strap of my bag, and with one last look at him i walk away. But not before hearing a strangled sob slip past his lips.
I hold back my own sobs as i rush into the restrooms, dropping my bag by a sink and staring at myself in the mirror, eyes red and puffy, my cheeks stained with tears as more slide down.
I've broken us, i've broken us so bad i'm afraid we're unfixable.
"Anna? We're supposed to be leaving for lunch!" I hear mike call out in the hallway.
I wipe away my tears, ripping my bag open hastily as i scramble to fix my makeup. "Coming!" I manage to call out, surprising myself with how stable my voice sounds.
I check myself in the mirror, covering any trance of tears before i put on a smile and exit the restroom. Mike, Jane and Nathan and standing there waiting.
Nathan avoids looking at me, focusing on his phone instead whilst Mike is looking at me with a hint of confusion. I smile to reassure him, hoping it reaches my eyes as we make our way down to the underground parking lot. A car takes us a 10 minute drive away to a restaurant, the entire ride is silent, which i appreciate because i was a ticking time bomb right now.
Once we step out and onto the road, i look up at the board.
Italian.
"Nathan picked the place out, he said he felt like eating Italian" Mike says beside me as we walk into the restaurant. "Table for 5" Nathan says to the waiter, who nods and guides us to a private table.
Five? Who the hell is the fifth-
"Nathan!" A girl calls excitedly, we all turn to look at her as her heels clicking against the marble floor, her slim figure rushing up to us. Her long brown hair cascades down her waist in beautiful curls, she's tall and her skin is the most beautiful shade of tan, smooth as fuck.
She looks like a supermodel. A sun kissed supermodel.
She probably is.
For a moment i think she's a colleague until Nathan smiles, pulling her into a kiss.
Danielle.
My jaw drops, i look at Mike who already has an apologetic look on his face. He leans over after we're seated, making sure to slide into the booth with me. Leaving Nathan and Danielle to sit together.
"I was trying to warn you, i'm sorry..." He apologizes. I offer him a sad smile "its about time, even if its only my second day here.. i was hoping this would at least be a 10th day thing" i joke to lighten the mood, he chuckles.
"So who's the new faces" Danielle speaks up, smiling at Jane and I. I return it, holding my hand out "Anastasia, i'm here on business" i speak politely, she shakes my hand "Oh, nice to meet you. I'm Danielle, Nathan's Fiance" she grins.
I chuckles "Oh wow, congratulations" i say, moving my gaze to a very still Nathan. He looks worried, like he's afraid i'll say something out of place, he looks at me with wide-eyed caution.
Oh, lying to the Fiance huh?
"This is my friend and colleague, Jane. She's our company photographer" I gesture to Jane who's seated beside mike. Jane shakes her hand and they exchange warm smiles.
"Honey, i'm surprised you ordered Italian. You never eat Italian, and i hardly do either" Danielle comments, Nathan just shrugs "I just.. felt like it"
Or you did it because i like italian. I glare at him from across the table.
Just how much is a hiding from her? If she has no idea who i am, that means she doesn't know about his past. I wonder what he told her about the gunshot wound and other deep cuts that left scars.
Shaking my head subtly, i bury my disappointment in my menu as i scan it. Mike eyes me from the corner of his eye, i catch him doing so but he doesn't bother looking away.
"I'll have a fettuccine alfredo" Nathan and i say in unison, everyone on the table laughs but all we do is stare at each other. "Wow babe, if i'd known you like it i would've cooked you some more often" Danielle chuckles, smiling at him.
"She's a terrible cook" Mike whispers, then looks at me with a 'never again' face, making me giggle.
Does she not know anything about him? What the hell are they getting married f-
"No" i mumble, but apparently not quietly enough because Danielle looks at me "is everything okay?" She asks sweetly. I smile "yes, sorry i was just deciding on getting an iced tea or juice" i lie fluently, something i've once again become used to doing.
Oh anna, when will you get your act together.
She nods slowly "Oh okay".
Its none of my business, whether they're marrying for the sake of business, or love, or money. One things for sure, all of the reasons piss me off.
I have money too nathan! Marry me! I inwardly laugh to myself, that would undeniably be hilarious to say. He knows i'm not money minded, i cared less.
Maybe that's why he's marrying malibu. I roll my eyes, my thoughts can be so intrusive sometimes.
Thankful the universe decided not to fuck my day up more than it already has been, Lunch goes by smoothly. Danielle aside.
I feel like anything bad i say about her is based purely off my anger towards Nathan and myself as well are regret and self hate. But boy can this woman talk.
I thought i was talkative, rambling on about stuff when Nathan and i would chill together but she's a whole new level of-
Don't say it Anna, don't. Say. It.
Annoying.
Surprise! Anna finds her ex-boyfriends Fiance annoying. I swear i would've liked her if her first impression didn't feel so self-centred.
After Lunch, Danielle heads out for a meeting whilst we wait outside for Nathan's driver. Jane and Nathan stand in front of us, Mike leans closer and whispers "So, how do you like the wife to be?" I roll my eyes "i'm going to get drunk tonight" i mumble, making him chuckle. I smile at the comment too, aren't i funny.
The car pulls onto the curb and we all pile in. Another 10 minutes of near silence passes by, Mike and Nathan chatting softly in front of Jane and I.
When we arrive back at Skyline, i get out as fast as possible.
"Anna wait!" Mike calls out just as i push the door that leads to the elevators, i hold it open turning to look at him "Yeah?" He approaches me "aren't you staying?" He frowns, i shrug "my work here is done, i should probably head back to my hotel now.
He sighs "You sure you don't wanna hang around till the evening? I'll even take you to the bar" he beams hopefully. I smile at him apologetically "sorry mike, maybe friday?" He huffs "what're you even doing all week?" He cocks a challenging brow.
My tongue runs across my lips as i try to come up with something. What the hell IS my agenda for the week?
"I'll.. be interviewing a few other people as well?" It comes out more like a question, making him narrow his eyes.
"She'll be joining us at our board meetings to see how we work, that's why she's here." Nathan intervenes with a monotonous voice. Mike and i look at him then back at each other "Friday, i promise. By the looks of it, i'll be needing more than one night out" I eye Nate up and down then click my tongue and walk away. I take the lift all the way up to the top floor, grab whatever i left in Mike's office and head back down to my car.
Once in the arking hotel parking lot, i sit in the car for a few moments to gather my thoughts.
I let out a shaky breath. "It's okay, i'm okay..." i breathe out, clenching the steering wheel. The sound of my phone ringing startles me, i fumble around for it before answering the call.
"Hello?" I speak, confused.
The line is silent, all i can hear is soft leveled breathing.
What the hell
"Hello? Anyone there?" When no one answers i hang up, dropping my phone on the passengers seat. After a few more moments of composing myself, i grab my stuff and rush into the hotel, the sudden urge to pee hitting me.
"Stupid fucking bottomless iced tea" i mumble as i wait for the lift. "Ms. Black!" Someone calls out, making me turn around. The manager runs up to me, her lipstick smudged a little.
Oh?
"Yes?" I smile at her, subtly doing a little impatient pee dance. "Please don't forget that you have to leave by 10 pm" she grins, like she's happy to get rid of me.
"Fucking shit.." i groan, pinching the bridge of my nose.
I never called stella to cross check what the issue with my room was, looks like i'll have to pay for another night here and figure something out tomorrow.
"Can i just pay you for another night?" She shrugs nonchalantly "sorry, a customer reserved your room since i told them it would be free tonight, and we're currently booked. My jaw drops "you gave my room to someone else without checking with me? What if i was ready to pay you or wanted to stay longer?" I raise my voice, stress pouring down on me like a flash flood.
She steps back, her arms raised in defence "Sorry miss, but there isn't anything i can do. Try the hotel across the street" I roll my eyes, shaking my head as i step into the lift, my eyes not leaving her until the door separates us.
Just fucking great. I can't keep blowing my money on a hotel i wasn't supposed to pay for to begin with, granted i make a good amount but jesus i have to pay rent and bills too. With angry stomps i walk to my door and shove it open, dropping all my stuff on the bed with a huff.
I pace the room back and forth, nibbling on my thumb nail as i try come up with something that won't jeopardise my fucking bank account.
My phone buzzes again, repeatedly. I pick it up with the intention to tell who ever the fuck is on the line to fuck off.
"Listen here you little shit, if you're gonna call me at least fucking say something so i know who the fuck is calling or don't call at all. Stop wasting your fucking time as well as mine" I growl out, pure anger vibrating through my body, making me shiver.
"Anastasia..." The soft voice pleas.
"Nathan? How'd you get my number?" I frown, stopping in the middle of the room. "I never deleted it.." he whispers, his voice sounding on edge.
"I really, really need to talk to you. Please open your door" I look up at the bedroom door, shock enveloping me. "What?" I breathe out, walking to the door and pulling it open slowly.
Nathan stands there, hair disheveled, tie undone and his suit jacket no where in sight leaving him in his crisp white shirt.
"What're you doing here.." i ask, staring at him wide-eyed. This feels like a dream, am i dreaming? I've got to be..
"I couldn't wait, i just had to talk to you" he says, urgency on his face.
"What did you want to-" before i can finish my sentence, he pulls me flush against him and captures my lips in his. The kiss is desperate, pleading and i can feel his pent up emotions pouring out into it.
I stand frozen, unmoving as he grips my sides, desperate for me to kiss him back. So desperate it scares me a little.
I pull away, shoving his chest as hard as i can but it only makes him pull my closer, his lips once again finding mine.
This is wrong. This is wrong on so many levels.
In the heat of the moment, i shove him away and my hand flies across his face, sending his head whipping to the side.
I watch in horror as i gasp, realizing what just happened.
Holy shitstickles i just slapped him.