"Are you sure you are okay?" Agnes' voice was dripped with concern as she dropped me off at Nicholas'. The sun was no longer shining as it did when I left the house. Though I was left in horror when they broke the news about Nicholas' wedding, I was adamant to put my trust in Nicholas. Even if he were to hide secrets from me, there was no way that he could confess his feelings and yet stay silent about marrying somebody else.
"I am okay."
No, I wasn't.
I felt like I was bursting from the inside. What I needed were answers. I needed to hear the truth from Nicholas.
"Alright. Sleep tight, Abbey" Agnes reluctantly left as she signaled the coachman to head for home. As I entered the house, I was greeted by no one, not even Camille. Of course, given how late it was, everyone must be deep in slumber.
Quietly, I sauntered up the staircase and made my way to the bedroom before closing the door. Immediately, I plunged forth and buried myself in the bedsheets. I didn't have any mood to clean and tidy myself. After all, how could I? My mind was already as occupied as it is.
As the night deepened, it became increasingly challenging for me to fall asleep. I tossed and turned, desperately trying to get a relief from the thoughts that ran through my head. I even attempted meditation and various breathing techniques to set my mind at ease, but all of which proved useless. And so there I was, lying on my back with my eyes glued to the ceiling.
Seconds turned to minutes, and minutes to hours. Soon, the moon gradually paved its way for the sun to take its place in the sky. The sound of birds could be distinctly heard through the layer of glass.
Suddenly, I heard the front door slam shut, and in came the sound of shuffling footsteps.
Nicholas.
Hurriedly, I hoisted myself up from the bed and raced down the stairs. As I ran towards him, I knew that all the doubts I had would be wiped away, and everything that I heard was of nothing but a mere hoax.
"Nicholas!" I exclaimed, ready to embrace him. But as I saw a figure emerged from his back, I halted in my footsteps; with nothing but sheer terror for who I saw.
"Hello Miss Wellesley, we meet again." The woman approached me with a wedding dress clutched in her arms. It was the woman that I saw back at the restaurant, the woman that I was at awe for her beauty.
Amelia Dolittle.
Meanwhile, Nicholas who noticed my presence just stood with his eyes wide opened, shocked that I was awake at this time of day.
"I apologize if we have disturbed your slumber, but we just got back from all our wedding arrangements and we are utterly exhausted." I glanced upon the number of boxes there were on the floor before landing on the ring tightly clasped around Amelia's fourth finger.
"Your ring," I said before I could even stop myself.
"Oh, yeah," Amelia held out her finger so that I could take a closer look at it. "I told Nicholas that I was not in need of an extravagant one, but he insisted that I should, saying that marriage only happens once in a lifetime."
"I see."
It was as if someone had plunged a knife into my heart and twisted it deeper, reopening the wounds that I deemed recovered from the encounter with Adrian and Jessica. This was too painful.
"Yes. A woman should never be humble when it comes to her happiness." I glanced around the room before falling on a familiar face, Mrs. Eleanora Dolittle.
"It is a pleasure to meet you again." Her tone remained that of a sarcastic one, "If you would be so kind, there is something that I would like to discuss with you."
"What is it?" Nicholas remained silent, his expression was void from any emotions as he stared at me. By now, I couldn't care less about what it was regarding.
"I was thinking that it would be best that you call off the remaining lessons that you have with Nicholas. I understand that Nicholas is a good teacher and that you have grown accustomed to his teachings, but I am sure that there are qualified people out there that are just as competent as him. After all, we cannot have tongues wagging about two newlyweds having another woman in their home; that would disgrace the honor of Nicholas and his family, do you not agree?"
"I-"
"She is right," Nicholas finally spoke, "even if our relationship is plain and simple, that would only appear as a source of rumor that would bring down my reputation."
"Since when did you care about your reputation?" I asked, remembering about the time when he held my hand at the carnival, ignorant of the stares from others. It was as if Nicholas and I were the ones that existed in the room. I couldn't care less for the Dolittles.
"Since a long time ago," He replied, grabbing Amelia's hand which made a slight blush surface on her cheek.
It came to my realization that I was nothing but a new toy to Nicholas, a girl that he has never met before, but now has and had gotten tired of it. I played right into his hands.
"I see," my head drooped low, struggling to prevent those tears from falling as I battled with the emotional and mental torment. The man before me that I thought I could call my own, was destined for somebody else.
Why does this keep happening to me?
"You need not worry any longer," I plucked up the remaining courage that I had left and prayed that those tears wouldn't fall until after I was finished with what I had to say, "in fact, I was just about to leave. I would never intrude in the lives of a happy couple." I turned to walk towards the entrance, ready to sprint to wherever my feet would take me.
"By the way...Congratulations." My lips trembled as I forced myself to say those words.
"Abbey!" Nicholas cried out as my other foot was already stepped outside the house. I felt a tug in my heart and a sudden gush of relief as I thought that Nicholas was going to affirm that I was the one he truly wanted and that the wedding was nothing but a sham. "Remember to collect your belongings."
At that instant, all the wonderful moments that we both shared turned to dust, leaving nothing but pain and disappointment. Unable to bear another look at him, I set out, running to the beyond.
The sky darkened, threatening those raindrops to fall upon the brick pavements that I now strolled with my bare feet. It was getting late, and I needed a place to stay. I was never going back to Nicholas, nor was I going to Agnes'; I couldn't worry her. After all, what would she think, knowing that I have fallen in love with a teacher, when in actuality, I was supposed to be disciplined?
The only person that I could approach was him. Though I had no money, I went on to hire a hansom to take me to my desired destination.
*
"Abbey! What are you doing out here? You could have at least worn a pair of shoes." Like a grandmother, Claire exclaimed before pulling me into the house.
"Uhm, I am sorry. I didn't have a choice but to come here and I did not bring any money with me. Would it be possible for you to pay on my behalf? I promise that I will return the money." I was utterly pathetic, and not to mention, broke.
"Alright dear, please make yourself at home," she led me into the living hall where Fredricks was, before fetching her purse to pay for the travel fare.
"Abbey! It is great to see you again!" Fredricks who previously had his nose dug deep in a set of documents, stood up to welcome me. "Why have you not donned any shoes?" He asked with his brows raised while staring at my dirty feet.
"I..." I bit my lips in hopes that it would stop them from trembling; but it only grew worse. My shoulders and legs were also quivering, not from the cold, but from the earlier news. I needed to know if Nicholas was to be betrothed to Amelia long before he knew me.
"Is Nicholas getting married?"
"Yes, he is getting married to Miss Amelia Dolittle. In fact, his marriage was planned just awhile after he met you." Fredricks' answer was plain and simple.
The tears that took every ounce of energy to hold back broke loose, leaving me in a sobbing mess and a painful heart. I stood incredibly still, taking all the strength I had left to prevent my knees from falling as cupped my face and wept quietly.
Suddenly, I felt two arms wrapping me up in a warm embrace. I didn't need to look up to know who it was; the scent was all I needed.
"You love him." I cried even harder at his question, but I couldn't return an answer. My actions had already spoke a thousand words.
After that, there was complete silence, the only thing that could be heard was my sniffing as I bawled into Fredricks' chest. It took a little while for me to settle my emotions, and I knew that a longer time would be needed to heal the wound that was inflicted unto me.
"Claire, prepare a bath and take Abbey to her room." Fredrick's instructed as I proceeded to pull away from him, only to see a wet patch that was now decorating his shirt.
"I am so sorry for the mess. But if it's okay with you, could you accompany me to collect my belongings from Nicholas?"
"That is the least of your worries. Right now, what you need is some rest," he urged, "Claire, please take care of her." He signaled for Claire to escort me to the room.
I wanted to thank him for everything he had done, but from the physical and emotional fatigue, all I long for was to surrender myself to drowsiness.