last update i promise y'all 💀. know y'all sicka me.
and i don't want no more love , i feel it's poison
late at night i can't sleep 'cause i hear voices.
Beyoncé Giselle Knowles
November 20
Queens, New York
I handed out pack around the room, telling everybody the amounts I needed from them at the end of the week. I collected earnings from the week prior.
They left, leaving only August here with me.
"Yo Bey." August called.
I looked up from my money. "Wassup."
"Who you been fucking on?"
"Nobody. I ain't never had a pregnancy scare before so that one with Lotus really fucked me up."
"Fam I'm not the one you need to be lying to. I know what Nic did to you is the only thing that's really got you fucked up.
"Bruh that girl freaky as hell." I shook my head, wrapping my money in a rubber band. "Can't even imagine what it's gon' be like when I get my hands on her."
"Didn't you?"
"Aug no! She bitched me dawg. Had my dick in her hand talkin' 'bout I can't talk, moan, I couldn't do shit but stare at her. Then guess what bruh."
"What fam?"
"Bruh she licked it and put her tongue in my mouth."
"Niggaaaaa!"
"Had me staring at her like this." I made googly eyes. "The entire night."
"So you ain't been fucking nobody else 'cause of that?"
"I don't even feel like it man."
"Woooow, you didn't even get the pussy yet and look at you."
"How 'bout you have a woman hold yo dick in her hand and dominate every move you make or she gon' stop? Then see."
"I did, that's why she my woman."
"Man August how you do it though? Be loyal to one woman. All these bad ass women out here and you only want Ari. How?"
"Same way you only want Nic. You just can't see the shit yet. You coming up on it though. Don't let them niggas like Jay or Katorah steer you in the wrong direction. From what I can see, Nic already got you. She just gotta be sure you done fuckin' around. You done?"
"I don't know."
"Get it together. She can have whoever she want. And you know you get mad when you see her with anybody. That window closing nigga."
"What window?"
"It's a window nigga, listen. She letting you up in there and you one foot in, one foot out. You better step yo ass in that window. 'Cause if you see her with Karen or Jamboree again, you gon' be pissed the hell off."
"Damn right."
"Why?"
"I don't know. She different."
"Why 'cause she don't want you?"
"She do want me. Obviously. I'm 'bout to go see her, I miss her."
"Nigga relax. She at school." He laughed.
I shook my head, trying to get this girl off my mind. I couldn't imagine what it would be like if she had me thinking like this after that. I ain't even hit yet.
What was she doing to me?
Onika Tanya Maraj
November 21
Queens, New York
"Milan sit yo ass down." I rolled over in the bed. I wanted to whoop her ass but Ming wasn't gonna let me do that. Got me fucked up, I'm gon' put something on this spoiled ass child's ass.
"TT wake up." She crawled into the bed and kissed my cheeks over and over.
"No, lay down."
"T-"
"ARIANA COME GET YOUR KID!" I screamed.
She banged on the wall and I groaned. The bitch was in there having sex again. Goddamnit.
Sex cannot be that good for her to be having it every single day. I'm surprised the hoe ain't pregnant yet. Damn.
"Milan baby, what you want?"
"I'm hungry."
"Alright. Hold on." I laid there for another five minutes before I got up and put something on for her to watch while I went to go make her something.
I stood in the fridge, not knowing what to make this little girl. She'll eat anything but nothing looked appetizing to me. A bitch is hungry too.
"What you looking for?"
I banged my head on the top of the fridge. "Fuck." I looked back at Beyoncé and sucked my teeth.
"What you want?" I asked.
"Saying hey, being friendly."
"Girl shut the fuck up lying, you got yo dick touched and now you all on me. Move, I ain't stupid."
"I'm not gon' lie to you, hell yeah. But we had a good night and shit, I'm feeling you for real."
"Oh okay." I turned my nose up.
"You can stop acting stank like you not feeling me too."
I walked over to her, putting my hand down her shorts. "This what you want Beyoncé?"
"N-Nah. I wanna t-talk."
Stuttering, lying ass.
I stroked her slowly until she was rock hard then took my hand out. "Well, tell your other hoes to do it."
"Yo, you serious?"
"Yes. Dead serious."
"I don't got no hoes Onika."
I busted out laughing before going to wash my hands. I know she not lying in my face like that.
I got out some waffles and popped them in bitches right in the toaster. Milan will just have to deal.
"What's funny?"
"You. A bitch takes a little control and here you go, lying."
"I'm not lying."
"You just had a pregnancy scare with a stripper, that crazy ass bitch Sarae almost had me killed, and Imari won't go away no matter what you say. You got hoes. And I'm not one of 'em. We just went on a date."
"I'll drop 'em."
"Bye Beyoncé. Who let you in my house?"
"You don't believe me?"
"No, I don't to be completely honest. You'll say anything to get in a girl who won't let you. Not stupid."
She picked me up and sat me on my counter, making me roll my eyes. "I don't want just the pussy. I want you."
"Well you're not getting either."
"Why? You switch up all the time. One night you feelin' me, the next you all cold towards me. Make up your mind."
"I'm not going to get my heart broken by you Beyoncé, I don't trust that you don't want these hoes because I know you do."
"If I see a fine bitch, I'm gon' look for sure but I'm not gon' touch. I don't know what it feel like to be with somebody like you but I can try." She wrapped her arms around my waist. "Baby please. You different."
"How?"
"You don't take no shit from me, you up on yo business, and you nothing like the bitches I've met. August said my window closing so come on. I'm tryna get in it. I'll wait for you and all that shit. I just want you."
"You taking relationship advice from August now?"
"The nigga in there fucking the shit outta yo best friend right now, you damn right."
"We can go on another date and I'll give you my answer at the end of it. If you hurt me once, it's over."
I liked Beyoncé but if she hurts me, I'm done. I know what I said about not even giving her the chance to hurt me but seeing her like this was different. Maybe she actually wanted this and she won't cheat on me. Maybe.
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