dont you let nobody tell you different baby
i'll always adore you
Beyoncé Giselle Knowles
November 13
Queens, New York
I jumped up on the sink, watching Lotus watch me. "Gon' 'head pull them panties down bitch, I done already seen the pussy."
"Beyoncé!" My mama yelled from the living room.
I waved her off. She always telling me to watch my mouth knowing it ain't gon' happen.
Lotus peed on the fourth stick then sat it on the sink. We waited there for ten minutes before every single last one of those tests came up negative.
I sucked my teeth and knocked them off of the sink, onto her. "Bitch you got some nerve. I should kill you."
My mama walked in the bathroom with her arms crossed. "You pregnant?"
"Fuck no. Lying ass bitch. I told you I don't slip up, fuck wrong with this bitch." I rushed past her.
I shrugged and started knocking shit down. Lotus walked out of the bathroom and tried to grab me but I backhanded her. She fell to the floor.
"You probably ain't even wash yo hands, nasty ass hoe, move man. Yo! You not even pregnant and you still decided you was gon' take the tests. What a dumb bitch?" I squatted down to where she was.
She looked up at me with pleading eyes but I had no sympathy for her. I stood up and kicked and kicked until my legs got tired.
I'm so tired of this shit.
"Giselle, let's go."
"Mama-"
"Let's go." She grabbed our things and I followed after her. "Give me the keys."
"I'm driving."
"Give me the keys Giselle."
I handed them to her and got in the passenger seat as she drove. I didn't know where she was going but I wasn't worried.
"At this point, I'm about to put you on a schedule like your father did. I'm tired of you losing your temper because you don't have you medicine in your system. It's sloppy Giselle."
"You know what it do to me, I'm not taking it."
"It calms you down, that's the fucking point." She kept her same chill tone. I wanted to be like that but my mind wouldn't even let me.
"If I take it, I don't get shit done. I don't get shit done, I don't go to San Diego."
"Like I said, schedule."
"Why we here Ma?" I asked, looking outside the door of Onika and Ari's house.
"Apologize. You keep interfering with that girl's love life only to not take her seriously. You gon' apologize and then you gon' leave her alone. She don't gotta fix you. You older than her, now go."
I sucked my teeth and got out of the car, slamming the door behind me.
"Keep playing and Imma whoop yo ass."
"Man-"
"Get out my face. Go."
I wasn't trying to do this shit. What the fuck? Apologize? If anything, I'd been helping Onika out. She almost got killed, I helped her out with that. Plus, I thought I was being really respectful with the whole not touching her thing. Like shit, I can't get no props?
I knocked on the door and Ari answered. She smirked. "You looking for August? He in my room."
"I see that, no clothes. I'm not looking for him though. Where's Nic?"
"She ain't here."
"I know you lying."
"No I'm no-"
"Ari where my pumps at?!"
Onika and I made eye contact before she sucked her teeth.
"Lying ass." I walked past her then into Onika's room where she was putting on red heels.
"I can get a second of your time?"
"No."
"What you mad for Onika? I ain't do shit to you."
"If you haven't done anything, why exactly are you here?" She smiled before putting her earrings in. She fluffed her hair then walked into her bathroom. I followed, standing behind her.
"Lotus ain't pregnant."
"Good for you? Look Beyoncé, could we wrap this up? I have a date."
"So you really not feeling me?"
"That's what this is about?" She laughed. "Beyoncé, I was feeling you but I'm not anymore. It's called moving on with your life plus it's not like we were dating. We kissed once and I know exactly how you get down. You just had a pregnancy scare with a stripper. That's not a life I'm stepping into."
"But I was honest with you about my shit."
"Then you should be able to accept my decision to not mess with you."
Usually I would be but I wasn't gonna take up that chance on Onika. She was different.
"Nic-"
"Onika." She corrected me. "Like I said, wrap this up."
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry? Never heard those words come from you. What you sorry for?"
"Fucking with you. My mama told me to apologize really."
"Cool, apology accepted. Come on, got a date, remember?"
"With who? Jamboree or Karen?"
She sucked her teeth. "Darren is taking me out. Is there anything else you'd like to know?"
"You gon' let me take you out?"
"No."
"Please?"
"Nope, I'm not even gonna do that to myself. Won't put myself in that position."
"What position? It's a date, not a proposal girl."
"Like I said, not gonna put myself in that position."
"What position Onika?"
"You know what I'm saying Beyoncé. I'm not these women and you know that. I'm smarter than these women and you know that. So again, I will not put myself in a position to be used by you for your own personal entertainment. Thank you but no thank you."
"I'm not gon' use you."
"Damn right 'cause I'm not giving you the chance."
She walked past me and opened the room door, beckoning me out. "Come on."
"You gon' let me get a kiss."
"No. Out."
"Come here Onika." I grabbed her face, making her bite her lip before our lips connected. I wrapped one arm around her waist lifting her up off the floor as my tongue slipped between her lips. She wrapped her legs around my waist. I smirked.
I pulled away from her, pecking my lips repeatedly. "You so fine."
"Move."
"You the one that hopped up on me. You move."
She cleared her throat and hopped down, fixing her dress. "Out."
"So I'll see you tomorrow at like 7. You'll be off work and out of class by then."
"Okay Beyoncé."
That's what I thought.
I walked out of the house and hopped back in the passenger seat of the car.
"Did you apologize?"
"I did."
"So what you look happy about?"
"I'm taking her on a date tomorrow. And I just kissed her."
"Leave that girl alone Beyoncé."
"When I'm done."
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