Be thankful for everything that happens in your life; it's all an experience. My mom told me that quite frequently when I was younger, and it's obviously stuck with me. Because of those words, I try my best to always forgive those around me if they've done something wrong to me.
But of course, there come moments when that's just too difficult. In those difficult moments, I like to take time away from whoever has done me wrong. But sometimes, some people don't understand that and beg and beg for forgiveness when in the beginning, they shouldn't have done what they did at all.
Take Sam Winters for example. He hasn't left my side in over three weeks, begging for forgiveness. I haven't spoken a word to him and don't plan to until he finally leaves me alone. He's never been one to take a hint, so I thought a little push would help him with that.
No, actually, I pushed him. We were walking to our first period and he was hot on my trail, even though the Juniors' classes are on the other side of the school.
"Grace." He whined, poking at my shoulder for possibly the twelfth time in the last twenty-five seconds. At this point in the day, I'd usually have a knife in hand, ready to chop off his goddamn finger. But not today, it was the last day before spring break and it had to be a good day. Meaning-
I shoved Sam hard in the chest, slapping his forehead as I stuck a sticky note to it, speed walking down the hall and into my classroom.
The note read,
Leave me alone before I cut off your ears and feed them to Mrs. Carleins' dog so you know how it feels
Sam's terrified of Mrs. Carleins' dog, Harper. Harper's a sweetheart but she's super sensitive to men's cologne because Mrs. Carlein's ex-boyfriend used to hit them both. I consider the story one of the saddest ones I know. But she's happily married with two beautiful little girls now, so all is good.
Anyways, it got rid of him. He left me alone and right when I was ready to forgive him, he came back like the lost puppy he is.
So, fast-forward to today, four days of spring break left. Today would usually be when me and all my friends went down to the pier and I'd watch them swim all day but I don't have friends anymore so here I am,
Tapping my foot against the tiled kitchen floor, deciding whether or not I'm going to stick to my promise to my self about getting better.
I reach for the tub of ice cream and place it on the counter, shutting the freezer. It may not seem to be a big deal but my hands are shaking so much I almost drop the tub of ice cream. Twice.
The drawer holding the spoons slides open and Ray grabs both of us spoons.
When did she-
She shovels a spoon into the ice cream, bringing it back, making an odd noise with her mouth as she brings the spoon towards my lips. I roll my eyes and open my mouth.
"Did you just choo-choo-train me?" I raise a brow at her. I don't swallow the ice cream yet. It's almost unusually cold. I haven't had ice cream in ages, and I certainly don't recall it being so piercingly cold against my teeth.
"Maybe." Ray shrugs, her hand meeting my shoulder with a slap as she pats it, walking past me and into the living room. "Serve me some." She calls.
I incoherently agree. The ice cream has started to melt in my mouth and it's not exactly pleasant. I can't spit it into the sink, Ray has a clear view of the kitchen from where she's sat on the couch so I hurry up the stairs, into my bathroom.
Spitting the ice cream into the sink, I wipe my mouth with a hand towel. I hurry down the stairs and serve her some ice cream.
"You're not having any?" She eyes me for a moment before turning back to the TV. Our favorite show is on.
"No. I'm..."
You've used that one before, Gracie.
"I'm having lunch with... a friend," I tell her, nodding as if trying to convince myself of my own lie. I didn't like lying but in the last year or so, I'd been doing a lot of it.
"Oooh," She drags out, smirking at me. "you mean, Sam?"
She suggestively says his name and I roll my eyes. "Yes," I lie again. "me and him are going to... study."
"Oh my gosh, don't tell me you're having sex." She gasps lightly, I expect her to look disgusting but instead she looks ecstatic.
Ew.
"Yeah, Ray-Ray. Me and Sam are-" I start sarcastically. "-NO! We are not rubbing uglies, now stop it, you'll make me vomit."
"You're no fun." She grumbles, slumping back in her seat.
Dear God.
🌊
I'm in my room folding my clothes when I start thinking about all of the things I used to do with my friends. Yeah, folding time is thinking time.
But seriously, I used to do all sorts of things with my friends during spring break, and just every time we hung out, actually. So what's stopping me from doing so right now? Why aren't I down at the pier with my best friends?
This thing I have going on shouldn't stop me from having fun or living my life, so why am I letting it?
I don't have a swimsuit body, I have a thirteen-year-old boy's body. But who said anything about a swimsuit? I don't even know how to swim.
Don't even say anything about it, I just never learned. Mom never learned either, that's how she met dad, actually.
They were both on vacation in the same area, mom and dad were at the old swimming hole when one of her friends pushed her in. Dad was on the other side of the said swimming hole and jumped in after mom, saving her. Their love story is long and quite... lovely.
As it should be, it is a love story, after all. I want a story too. And I'm not going to get that if I keep locking myself away.
Locking myself away, I think to myself. And I repeat that to myself as I stand from my spot on the floor. Locking myself away, locking myself away.
I rip a piece of paper out of my journal and pull out my desk chair, taking a seat. Grabbing a pen, I write down everything that I want to do by the end of this month. As the year goes on, I plan to add to the list. But first, I want to make it through the month. Everything's an experience, right? So I'm gonna make the most of it.
And unfortunately, that starts the one and only,
Sam Winters.
🌊
I took the car without permission. Yeah, yeah. I'm aware it's illegal, but if I get pulled over while Sam's in the car then I'll just say he made me drive.
I'm on my way to Sam's house when my phone rings, answering it, I pull over.
"Do you forgive me now?" Sam whines from the other side of the phone. I roll my eyes, hanging up. Yes, I forgive him now but I'm not going to say that yet, it'd be like driving all the way to his house for nothing. I continue driving.
My phone rings two more times and I groan, not pulling over this time. I don't plan on the conversation being too long.
"No, Sam! I don't, now leave me alone!" I yell into the phone. Before I hang up I hear a snicker. I instantly smile at this for some reason.
"Easy tiger, I'm no Sam, sweetheart."
"Lily?" I ask, pulling over. I haven't talked to this girl in forever and she hasn't talked to me, I don't think I really realized how much I missed her.
"Damn right." I hear her chuckle. "Hey, so uhm, I know you don't really hang out with us anymore, but I don't know- like, would you wanna come down to the pier?" She asks me, her voice hesitant like she's scared of me rejecting her.
"I was actually picking up a friend and heading there now, Lil," I tell her. I hear a small rustle and then a bunch of whooping and clapping. I giggle as she clears her throat.
"Great. We'll be waiting, ciao." I can hear the smile in her voice and can't help but smile too. I miss her. I miss all of my friends.
"Bye, Lily." The line goes dead. They never ever pushed me away when they were going through shit, so why did I? Especially when I needed them most, I gave what we all had with each other up.
I'd noticed after I stopped hanging out with them, they didn't hang out much anymore. Probably because I always made plans. But I find it messed up how I saw they weren't the same without me, yet, I chose to distance myself that much more. I sigh.
I dial the number Sam called me from and press the phone to my ear.
"Taco Bell." He says when he picks up his phone. I snicker.
"Get ready, Sammy. We're going to the pier. I'm outside already so don't you dare take longer than ten minutes or I'm leaving you." I hear a shit ton of shuffling, a thump, and then a loud 'ow'. Then I hang up.
Almost fifteen minutes later, he comes jogging down the driveway, pulling on his shirt over his head. His hair is wet and messy but it's not the worse sight. I watch as he opens the passenger side door and slides in.
"Hello there, gorgeous." He winks at me. I roll my eyes and down the driveway I go.
When I pull up to a parking space, Sam gets out of the car before it's even in park. Once I'm parked, he opens my door for me.
"M' lady." He grins, bowing. I let a small smile grace my lips as I shove him forward. He reaches for my hand but I slap his away from mine.
"Sam, do not test my patience right now," I tell him sternly, still lightly smiling.
He scoffs, poking my side and I yelp. "You love me and you know it."
He looks at me expectedly and I ignore him, rolling my eyes.
"Grace." He says poking my side again and it takes everything in me not to react. I pull my phone out of the pocket of my shorts and dial Lily's number.
It rings thrice before she picks up. "Hey hey, what's up?"
"I forgot where the pier is from the..." I look over my shoulder at the sign by my car. "fourth lot. We're going towards the Ferris wheel right now and I know it's like to the left of it but-"
Sam snatches my phone, pressing it to his ear. "-But she's confused."
I can hear her speaking and I get on my tippy toes to try to hear her better, Sam wraps his arm around my shoulder and when I try to pry his arm off he holds me tighter.
"Yeah, I'm her boyfriend." He says into the phone. My eyes snap up to his and he's already looking at me, smirking. I reach up for my phone and he holds it over his head. He then tucks it into his pocket.
I smile at him innocently and he smiles back at me. Then when he reaches for my hand I jump onto his back, slapping him in the head repeatedly.
"Stop!" He laughs.
"Give me my phone, give me my phone, give me my phone!" I repeat as I slap his head harder and harder.
"Grace, you're going to give me a concussion." He tells me, still laughing.
"Gimme my phone now." I pout, jumping off of his back and crossing my arms as I stand before him. He's smiling at me like I'm the only thing in the whole wide world left but I don't let that make me falter. It doesn't stop me from blushing though.
I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, looking up at him through my eyelashes. "Now, please."
He shakes his head, smiling at me when he tucks my phone into my back pocket.
"You just wanted an excuse to touch me," I grumble and he chuckles, patting my back.
In the distance, I can see Lily trip over thin air as she runs towards us. "Come on! Kayden's lighting the fireworks!"
Sam crouches down and I almost fall over him, I didn't notice he even got down.
"What are you doing, get up," I tell him.
"Hop on." He grins at me. I roll my eyes and do just like that. And just like that, he's running towards Lily while I'm yelling at him to slow down. It's an amazing feeling, really. Having people, I mean. It's beautiful, and to think I let my people go.
Well, when hurricane Grace hits those around me, I hope they heal, just as I will. Just as I hope I will. I want to experience hurricane Grace with those who are willing not to evacuate and leave me behind for my own storm. Bring it on, hurricane, bring it the fuck on.