Summary: Calum and (Y/N) are stuck together during a storm. No electricity, no heat, no entertainment. How could they possibly pass those 3 days?
This is an NSFW story. If you feel uncomfortable reading stuff like this one, please scroll through the chapters to find something you might like.
(Smut / Unprotected Sex / Masturbation / Riding / Oral; Female Receiving) (TW: Calum being a douche, I guess...)
Part 2 on my 5SOS Book Vol.2
(Request) (Words: 13.5k)
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The wind is blowing hard, making it sound like someone is whistling outside my window. There has been a thunderstorm going on since yesterday; it has started as a strong rain, evolved into a thundershower and as it goes it becomes a full-blown thunderstorm.
My roommate, Calum, left the house a few hours earlier, to stock up on some food. It is very last minute for us to restock on food, but we were running low and there are warnings about not going out the next few days.
So now I am under the covers, trying to warm myself up, with Calum's pup resting on top of my belly, shaking and whining as he waits for his pop's to come back home.
It is quite scary, knowing that Calum is out there, with this heavy weather. But it was either letting him go out or starve in the next few days.
Duke springs up and off my bed the moment he hears the door getting unlocked. I follow right behind him, just to make sure Calum is safe and well.
He is drenched in rainwater and he is carrying two paper bags in his arms, while he is trying not to trip over the skipping pup.
"I got it. Hand them to me." I offer, reaching for one.
"Thanks. The streets were nearly turned into lakes. Were you ok?" He asks me.
"In the comfort and warmth of our house? Yeah, I was good. You need a warm shower, dry clothes, a body of heat by your side, warm blankets. I'll put the food in, go do all that." I order and he chuckles.
"Last time I checked you are not my mom, are you?" He asks me, picking up Duke to stop him from crying.
"Well, it is your pneumonia, not mine." I mumble, shrugging my shoulders.
"Dramatic much?" He asks me while I carry the bags to the kitchen.
"I'll throw these in the dryer." He states, stripping off his clothes and opening the door of the dryer.
"Maybe wash them first..." I suggest, a little disgusted.
"Wet clothes should be dried first before they are washed, smartass. They will get moldy otherwise." He replies, throwing his clothes in.
"That's only if you throw them in the humper, buffoon. If you wash them straight away, they are going to be fine. How are you still fucking alive?" I ask him, opening the cupboards to arrange the stuff.
"I don't plan on washing them right now. I just got home after being out in a storm." He explains, slamming the door of the dryer and pressing the button of the program. But the machine doesn't even make a sound, remaining as it was before.
"Did you break it?" I ask, leaving the food and walking to the dryer. I fumble with the buttons, but the machine remains silent, immobile.
"I barely touched it." He comments. He moves to the light switch, toying with it and humming in surprise as the room stays dark.
"Go open the fridge..." He orders, making me look at him in confusion. I follow his order though, opening the fridge and moving aside to give him a look inside it.
"I think we are out of power." He states, doing so ever too casually.
"You think?" I ask, eyes going wide at him.
"I don't know, (Y/N). It might be burned key or whatever." He squeals, making me chuckle sarcastically.
"A burned key or whatever... Fucking hell. Wanna check that, Calum?" I ask him, already hyperventilating at the thought of having a power outage right now.
He leaves the room for a second, making me press my hand against my forehead in frustration. I hope and pray that it is just a burned key and nothing more, and we will have electricity in some areas of the house at least.
"Power is out. All over the house." He announces, making me sigh.
"Fuck. Just us or other houses too?" I ask him but he shrugs.
"I don't know, (Y/N). But I suspect it is related to the storm going on outside..." He mocks me.
"Shit. The storm will last at least 3 days." I groan, going back to putting the food in the cabinets.
"I will go get dressed. We will talk about handling this when I get back." He assures me before he walks away.
"So, we have no lights, no heat, no way to cook, no warm water. There is a storm going on outside, which makes the whole house cold." I panic, sitting on the couch with my legs on top of each other. Calum is sitting across from me, with Duke on his lap, petting him as the dog whines at the thunders.
"You need to calm down. Here. He helps a lot." He says, placing Duke on my lap.
"We have candles. Well, I know you have a ton and I have a couple of big ones. And we have torches, so in case of an emergency, we can use them. We have snacks that need no cooking, we will split them to last at least 3 days. We will use blankets, hoodies, extra layers to keep warm. And as for the water. Well, we either power through cold showers, or dry cleaning... We will be alright, we are safe in here." He tries to comfort me, stroking his thumb over my knee.
"No phones, no TV, no internet, no entertainment." I point out and he scoffs.
"We will keep our phone batteries in case of emergency. And we have books, board games, old school entertainment. It will be kinda like unplugging, a bit of detox." He chuckles. He is handling this better than I would.
"I have the Solar Charger we can use. And you laughed at me when I bought it." I chuckle and he rolls his eyes.
"I am still going to laugh at you. How are you going to get the charger to save up sun during the storm, smartypants?" He asks me through chuckles.
"At least we have the power banks for an emergency." I sigh, bringing Duke in the ear to kiss his cute little snout.
The storm has only gotten stronger since night fell. Calum is with Duke in his room, long sleeping since there is not much to do in the house now that darkness has fallen in it. Until 6 maybe, we could read books and magazines, Calum did some writing too. After that we played some cards, betting on house chores to make it a bit more fun. But it soon lost its interest, so he excused himself to his bedroom and called it a day.
But the darkness, combined with the noise going on outside makes everything scary for me, so I can't sleep, no matter how much I twist and turn.
So I made my way to the living room, lit up a few candles, and wrapped myself in my blanket to battle the cold. I have a book on my lap, an anthology of Poe's greatest works, which doesn't help at all with calming the fright in my spine.
"What are you doing up?" Calum asks me. I jolt and nearly scream, the suddenness of his words breaking the silence making my blood chill in my veins.
"You scared the crap out of me." I clutch my chest, looking at him as he takes a seat on the couch. His face is swollen, his hair is messy, and he is wearing his usual sleep attire which is just a pair of boxers and nothing else. How he can be naked in such piercing cold is beyond me.
"Sorry. But you kinda scared me too. Thought you were asleep. What are you doing awake?" He asks me, yawning through the words.
"Nothing." I mumble, shrugging my shoulders.
"Dude, it is 4 in the morning, you are surrounded by candles and you are reading Poe. Is this some kind of ritual? Have I been living in the same house as a witch?" He asks me; his eyebrows are furrowed and he is making his funny face, which makes me smile a little.
"You are going to make fun of me if I tell you." I sigh and he scoffs.
"Have I ever made fun of you?" He gasps, sarcasm thick in his voice.
"I can't sleep. I am scared of the storm and I hate darkness. So I thought I should find something else to do, in hopes I will get tired and fall asleep." I admit, making him hum.
He gets up from the couch, leaving the living room without a word.
I sigh, frustrated by his behavior; Calum and I haven't been the best of friends, and he was always distant, at least more distant than I'd like him to.
But I never expected him to react like that after I opened up to him.
I go back to reading my book, leaning my head against the back of the couch.
Calum walks back into the living room not even 5 minutes later. He is holding his pillow and duvet, along with his acoustic guitar. Now he is wearing a hoodie with his boxers, and he looks adorably sleepy as he sets his stuff on the couch.
"What are you doing?" I ask him, setting the book on the arm of the couch.
"I am sleeping here. You'll feel less scared if I am here to protect you, right?" He asks me, plopping on the couch and fixing his pillow.
"You don't have to..." I mumble but he shrugs his shoulders.
"I know. But I want to. Plus, I really think you are doing some kind of ritual to worship Satan, so I have to keep an eye for that." He replies, making me bite my tongue while I smile.
"What's up with the guitar?" I ask, pointing at the instrument that is resting on the floor.
"I brought it in case someone tries to break in, for protection." He replies, but the smirk on his face gives away he is just teasing me.
"I thought maybe some music will help you feel calmer. Well, it will help a lot more than reading Poe, that's for sure." He explains, picking it up from the floor.
I relax on the couch, watching him strum his fingers over the strings
"Any requests?" He asks, making me hum as I contemplate.
"Maybe Babylon. I always wanted to hear the acoustic version of it." I shrug, making him chuckle wholeheartedly.
"You vixen..." He giggles, fixing his fingers on the guitar.
"You know you sleep like a bunny?" Calum asks me as he passes me a cup of coffee.
"How do bunnies sleep?" I ask him, sitting up from where I have been laying since last night.
"I don't know. I just saw you sleeping and you looked like a bunny." He replies, sitting on his spot.
"I am way less caffeinated than I should be to make sense of you." I groan, pressing my hand against my temples.
"How did you sleep?" He asks me as I rax my body.
"I don't know. It was weird. How did you sleep?" I ask him and he shrugs.
"I've slept better. But it was fine, at least you weren't snoring." He jokes and I groan at him.
"Hey..." I protest and he just hums.
"You were moaning though." He points out, making me bite my lip before replying.
"Yeah, I've been told I do that." I clear my throat, watching his eyes become wider as he looks at me in surprise.
"It sounded good. I mean... Fuck, this is inappropriate." He brushes it off. He blushes slightly, looking inside his mug nervously.
"I've been told my moans sound good as well." I tease him, cocking an eyebrow. He nods, still not looking at me.
"Come on, Hood. Walls are pretty thin, I am sure you've heard me before. Solo and with some company." I state, making him turn to look at me.
"Have... Have you... heard me?" He asks me. He seems awfully shy for the guy who is usually too cocky about his sex life.
"I mean... You are not exactly quiet. And usually not your company as well. There were times I could hear you through my earphones." I explain and he chuckles.
"Fuck..." He mumbles under his breath.
"It is fine, Cal. We are both adults. No need to be embarrassed now." I assure him, taking a sip from my coffee.
"Yep, no need at all." He sighs, but he still looks tense.
"I am going to take a look at what we can have for breakfast." I announce, pointing at the kitchen. He looks like he needs a minute alone to regain himself, so I am going to give it to him.
I carry a pack of veggie chips in hand as I walk back to the living room. I know it is not the best option for breakfast, but there is not a big variety of non-perishables right now.
Calum is still on the couch, looking at his hands a little awkwardly.
"You are still flustered about the moaning thing?" I ask him, throwing the snacks at him.
"Well, it is really fucking embarrassing." He mumbles.
"Calum, papi, it is fine. We are both loud, we have heard each other, it is normal." I assure him, but he runs his hand down his face.
"Please don't call me papi."
"Right, your daddy kink." I point out, sitting with my legs on top of each other.
"Wait... You've heard me alone and with company... Have you heard me... You know..." He asks, but I am lost in the translation at the moment.
"Heard you doing what?" I ask him, with eyebrows furrowing together.
"Come on... You know..." He insists, but I throw my hands in the air.
"I don't know what you are referring to." I reply ad he sighs.
"Have you heard me... moaning your name?" He asks me, making my eyes go wide.
"You... You moan my name?" I ask him, way taken aback by the revelation.
"So, you haven't heard me. Nice." He huffs in frustration.
"You moan my name... Do you do it solo or...?" I ask, trying to make sense out of it.
"There isn't a scenario that I don't come of as a pervert." He states.
"Well..." I insist, making him look at the floor.
"I don't know what to tell you, really. It slipped off my lips. I wasn't doing it on purpose, I wasn't actually thinking of you, well at least not until I actually was. You just popped into my head..." He explains, making me cock an eyebrow at him.
"Was it like, happening because I did something?" I ask him and he shrugs.
"No, at least I don't think so. It was random, and the more I try to make sense of it is, the worse it gets."
"Well, it explains why you are an asshole towards me sometimes." I sigh.
"Yeah. Look, I am sorry, I don't know what is going on. I am not doing it on purpose, I am not trying to be a creep, I just... I don't know, dude. It was random and I thought you had heard something and that you were pushing the moaning thing because you wanted me to speak on it." He panics. I bite my lip, shrugging my shoulders.
"It's ok... I mean... I have thought of you while I was touching myself. It was like... The closer you get to a person, the more you think of them. And fantasies are just manifestations of the unconscious, so whatever..." I reply, trying to make him feel better.
"Oh... You've thought of me?" He asks, his head perking up.
"Yeah, a couple of times." I reply. He is looking at me intrigued like he is asking me to elaborate.
"So, does that mean... you like me?" He asks, squinting at me. I just shrug, arching my eyebrow at him.
"I don't know. Does it mean you like me?" I ask him back.
"I mean, you are really attractive. And smart, and actually funny. And you care about me... But I don't know. It is just... It is a fantasy, you just popped into my head while I was jerking off. I didn't analyze it further than that. Because the more I did, the more the fantasy played in my head and it was just creepy." He shrugs. I hum, staring at him for a few seconds.
"It is kinda weird." He states.
"Wanna fuck it out of our system?" I suggest, making him choke on his coffee.
"What?" He asks me, eyes wide and his cheeks tinted.
"I mean. If it is just sex we want from each other and we fuck, problem solved. Plus, we are locked in the house, either way, no electricity, no phones. We have to find a way to pass time." I point out and he moans in agreement.
"Fuck it. Let's do it." He says, getting up and leaving his mug on the coffee table.
"For real?" I ask him and he nods.
"If you are down for it..." He shrugs, giving me his signature side smirk.
"Oh, I am down, papi." I tease, standing up and stopping before him.
"You really want to go there?" He asks me while he pulls me by my waist. I stare at his lips for a second, alternating to his eyes before he pulls me in for a kiss.
It is carnal, almost primitive, the way he is holding me by my waist, the way his lips are moving on mine. He truly is a master of kissing, which only makes my mind go wild on how well he could use those lips on my heat.
His hand goes to the back of my head, pulling at my hair a little as he fixes my head to his liking. I have those weird chills running down my spine, especially after his hands start running down my body.
"Can I undress you?" He asks me, parting from my lips and moving down my jawline. I just groan in pleasure, moving a little away from him to get off my hoodie. He just takes a step back, looking at me for a moment.
"What? Don't make this awkward..." I mumble, shying away as his eyes are on my body.
"Sorry, sorry. Just... You look good." He compliments me, bringing his hands to undress. I have seen him scantly clad, in just his boxers most of the time, but this feels far too intimate, so his body looks a whole lot better than normal.
I am mesmerized, so I don't realize my fingers are tracing the tattoo on top of his diaphragm, not until he takes my wrist into his hand and looks at me. I stare back at him, breathing fast and feeling my body become more sensitive.
"It is turning me on, way too much..." He growls, while my nail still circles the letters.
"Yeah, I can tell." I mumble, letting my hand go down his stomach. A straight line, from the hollow point of his chest, down to his lower belly, watching him react to my touch by breathing deeply, causing his stomach to rise and fall.
"Are you hard for me, daddy?" I ask him, taking my doe eyes and looking at him through my eyelashes.
"Wanna check yourself?" He asks me, his voice thick but encouraging.
I let my hand slip inside his briefs, finding his cock rock hard, pushing against the fabric.
"Dear God..." I stutter and he just hums.
"I wanna taste you first. My lips on your clit... I have been wondering how you taste, I wanna finally find out." He moans as I stroke his cock. I feel a pleasing warmth spreading on my belly, a sudden tightness on my chest signaling that I am going to fucking explode just at the thought.
"I know you are thinking about it too. Your nipples are hard and you are covered in goosebumps. And I know it is not from the cold. You are thinking of my tongue lapping you up, huh? How many times have you gotten off at the thought of it?" He whispers by my ear, letting his breath fan against my skin for long enough to get my brain hazy and my head fall back, getting pleasure just at the thought.
"Fuck... Fuck me... Eat me out... Whatever you want, I just want you." I utter, letting my bottom lip hang loose.
"You are going to let me use you, sweetheart?" He moans, planting his lips on my pulse point on my neck.
"However you want... Please, use me." I beg. I don't know how much of my sex life he has heard of, but it is certainly enough of it for him to know my buttons.
"Sit on the couch. Legs spread, touch yourself for me... Like you did when you were thinking of me." He sucks on my neck, running his tongue over the mark a couple of times.
"Aren't you going to eat me out, daddy?" I ask him, nearly turning to putty in his hands.
"If you are a good girl..." He replies, a playful smirk playing on his lips.
I step off my leggings, leaving just my panties on. It is nothing sexy, but honestly, right now, I don't think it really matters.
I take my seat on the couch, spreading my legs apart and dipping my hand into my panties. I am wet and my clit is pulsing, so my hand in there feels like a huge relief, although I am certain his mouth will feel a thousand times better than this.
I drive my hand down my entrance, getting my fingertips wet with my slickness before I bring them back up my clit. I press there, rubbing it in circles softly; none of my previous lovers have asked me to do something like this before, so knowing I am being watched while I pleasure myself makes me nearly breathless. With my free hand, I fondle my breasts, pinching and pulling at my nipples to aggrandize the sensation.
He moves closer to me, hooking his fingers in the waistband of my underwear and pulling them to undress me completely.
"Here... Now it looks like a work of art." He comments, bringing his lips to my inner thigh. I jolt in surprise, stopping for a second to take in the sight of him between my thighs.
"Don't stop, baby. Keep touching yourself..." He encourages me, smiling against my skin.
I feel a weird tickle on my sex, my toes curling as I feel pleasure rush through me.
"I need you. Just... Please..." I utter, dipping my fingers inside me. My eyes flutter and I arch my back softly, going straight for my spot.
"You are glistening..." He whispers, moving his lips up to my thigh until I can feel his breath on my sex.
He brings his fingers to wrap around my wrist, making me remove my fingers from inside me. He brings my fingers to his mouth, getting a taste of my juices only for a second before he goes straight for the source of it. He laps up my core, starting with a long stroke of his tongue from my entrance all the way up my clit. There, he swirls his tongue around it, piercing me with his eyes as he looks into mine. My eyebrows furrow together in pleasure and I bite my bottom lip just the moment he sucks on my clit.
I couldn't even imagine half of it when I thought how his lips would feel on my sex. He is masterful, passionate about it, sucking my clit and flicking his tongue on it at the same time.
He uses the flat of his tongue to lick me, his taste buds massaging on my nerves there.
"Holy fuck... Shit... Calum..." I tangle my words together, bucking my hips up against his face.
He pushes me down again, his hand holding on my hipbone. It strangely turns me on, just his hand there plus the sight of his arm and forearm flexing as he presses me down, with his muscles, nerves, and veins bulging on it.
"You taste better than I imagined. Way better..." He mumbles, bringing his fingers to part my lips before thrusting one inside me.
"I need more..." I cry as I feel his digit pump inside me.
"More? Already? A finger can't fill your greedy little pussy?" He asks me, chuckling cockily at me before leaning in to bring his lips back on my clit.
"Please... I need you..." I plead, but the mischievous smile that is curling up his lips tells me he is not going to give in that easily.
His lips are working against my clit, sucking slowly and moving his tongue sensually as he adds one more finger inside me, grazing them over my spot.
"Oh, Cal..." I groan, bucking my hips up, nearly riding his face.
"I think you are ready for my cock, pretty girl. What do you think?" He asks, resting his head on my thigh while he still pumps his digits inside me.
"I am. I am... Please, Calum..." I cry out, earning a hum from him.
He brings his hand from my core, guiding his fingers in my mouth for me to taste myself on them.
"I pity the dude that wasn't eating you out every time he was over." He comments while he steps out of his briefs. I suck on his fingers the best I can, wanting nothing more than for him to think of me on my knees, sucking his cock and letting it reach down my throat until I gag on his length.
He pushes me until I am laying on my back, and he props himself between my legs, spreading my thighs to get access to my pussy. He looks at me lustfully, making me chill as his eyes pierce through my skin.
"You are going to take my cock inside you, princess?" He asks me, the left corner of his mouth moving up as he chuckles at me.
"All of it, please." I beg, bringing my hand to wrap around his forearm.
He lines up to my entrance, thrusting his hips to slide his cock between my lips, tease me some more.
"You are always like that? Teasing them until they break?" I ask him, feeling my clit tingling with excitement.
"Only when they want me to. And from what I've heard, you have a bit of an issue with that, don't you sweetheart?" He asks cockily, making me groan in frustration.
He lets his tip slide in my entrance, going in slow to let me feel every inch of him, every glorious inch of his thick, veiny cock.
"Fuck." I stutter, eyes fluttering and my teeth tugging on my bottom lip.
"What, princess?" He asks, looking down between our bodies. My walls pulse around him already, his face morphing at the tight sensation.
"You feel way better than I thought you would..." I mumble, earning a chuckle from his lips.
"Should I get that as a compliment?" He asks. There is a quick decision I have to make, in split seconds while he is still a bit vulnerable. I flip him on his back, moving to straddle him as a surprised gasp leaves his lips.
"Wanna be on top?" He asks, bringing his hands to rest on my ass. I smirk and he chuckles, relaxing back as I move my hips on his. He fondles my ass, squeezing my cheeks softly as I bounce on him. He is mainly doing it for guidance, but the feeling of his rough fingerpads kneading my skin brings fire to my loins.
"You are wet for me, princess?" He asks through gritted teeth, leaving a slap on my ass. I yelp and throw my head back, pressing my core more on him as I grind on his crotch.
"You liked that..." He states in amusement, repeating the slap. I gulp down thickly, sliding my hips forward and feeling just his tip inside of me. I lean closer, almost pressing my chest on his before I go back to fucking myself on his cock. His hands are gripping down on my hips, nails digging in my skin from holding onto me tightly.
One of them leaves my hips to travel up my ribcage and cup my breast, grazing his thumb over my nipple before he brings his mouth to wrap around it. He sucks harshly, bucking his hips up to fuck me harder as I sink myself on his length.
"Good God..." I shriek, closing my eyes to focus on his tip fucking against my spot.
"Don't use God's name in vain, princess." He sasses, popping my nipple out of his mouth, now only circling his tongue around its peak.
"You are an asshole..." I reply, moving on him. I take all of him, deep, feeling him pulse inside me as we get closer.
"I wanna cum... I wanna cum..." I chant, gasping as my skin slaps on his, echoing in the empty house. He releases my nipple, moving his hand to grip on my chin and bring my face to his before he crashes our lips together. I feel his breath on my face, his touch on my skin, his cock fucking me deep, his heartbeat vibrating on my chest. It all feels soothing, calming me down after all that fear I have been through during the storm.
"Cum... Cum around me, baby..." He whispers, not taking his lips away from my face.
With a quick move, I am found on my back and my legs are on his shoulders, earning him a lot more depth than before. He has access to every inch of my pussy and he is taking advantage of it, ramming his cock inside me until I am screaming incoherent and complete utterance.
"Fill me up, fill me up, daddy..." I bring my hands to his biceps, dragging my nails down until I meet his wrist. I don't even realize that those words are leaving my lips until I catch myself aching for his cum.
He groans and breathes hard, harder after each thrust, which only makes me more turned on for him. I cum around him, my walls gripping his cock as I arch off the couch and scream his name, ignoring how stupid my orgasm face might look.
"I fucking adore your face like that..." He rasps, letting his cock rest deep inside me to feel me pulsing around his throbbing cock.
Apparently, that is enough for him to cum inside me, making me shriek at the sensation as my high still makes my body tingly.
"Fuck..." He utters, burying his face into my neck. His lips are moving on my skin slowly, kissing and nibbling on my sweet spots as we are trying to calm from our highs.
"That was fun..." I breathe out, reaching to stroke his hair.
"And the fun doesn't have to end..." He chuckles, looking at me. I cock my eyebrow at him, making him smirk.
"I mean, there is nothing better for us to do right now. You are stuck with me..." He explains and I hum.
"I am stuck with you." I bite my lip and smile.
I didn't know I enjoyed fucking with the sound of rain and thunderstorm in the background until my little lockdown with Calum. I lost track of how many times we fucked during the 3-day stay-in, but I was practically sore by the time the storm passed. We didn't even care about the electricity being back on the third day, we just fucked like animals in heat.
But soon after the storm passed, Calum left to go to Ashton's place for a few days, claiming his friend needed something.
He left for a week and once he was back he avoided me for as long as he could, not speaking a word of what happened during the storm.
And then he started bringing girls over, being loud and parading them in the house the morning after, having them wear his clothes and making out with them in front of me.
I know we never said we would become more after the storm, but he is treating me like nothing more than a fuck toy, and that shit hurts. He is acting like a fuckboy, like an asshole and now I feel sorry for myself for letting me catch feelings for him.
He walks into the kitchen while I am having breakfast, stretching his body in front of the fridge as he looks for something to eat. He doesn't say a word to me, like usual, so I decide to clear my throat to get his attention.
"Is your date still upstairs?" I ask him and he chuckles, scratching the back of his head before turning around to look at me.
"Why are you asking?" He asks me back and I close my eyes, taking a breath.
"We need to talk." I shrug and he sighs.
"Listen, baby... We had fun, didn't we? Those storm days were amazing. But let's not complicate it more. It was fun, but it is over, isn't it? Don't try to make a thing out of this, we won't work. You know that, don't you?" He asks, moving closer and bringing his hand to stroke his thumb over my cheek slowly. My stomach feels upset and heavy and I feel used and insignificant to him.
"I wanted to tell you I will be moving out next week. My friend and I found an apartment and I will be staying with her. It has more room, and it is closer to my work. So, yeah, I guess I will leave next week." I reply and he gawks at me, eyes wide.
"Oh... That's... That's great. I didn't know you were looking for an apartment." He states and I nod.
"We weren't. We just stumbled upon it and we just said, screw it, let's do it." I mumble.
"That's good. Do you need help with packing? Moving houses?" He asks me and I shake my head no.
"I will be just taking my clothes and stuff. You can keep the furniture." I reply. He leans to peck my forehead, but I duck and avoid it, taking a step back from him.
"We better not. I mean, your girl might be walking downstairs any minute now, let's not confuse her." I state, picking up my mug before walking away to get to my room.
I lied to Calum that morning. I moved out of the house a week after, but it wasn't because I had found a better house with my friend.
I couch-surfed for a while until I could find something better for myself. I really didn't know I was that deep in for him.
"Mama." The 2-year old squirms in my arms as I pick her up to put her in the child seat of the shopping cart. She is giggling and moving her legs as she finally sits on the little plastic seat, while I twirl her little curls with my fingers.
"If you are going to be a good girl while we shop, I will get you a strawberry yogurt for after our dinner." I promise, pinching her cute little nose. She laughs and claps her hands together; I doubt she understood everything I told her, but the tone of my voice makes her excited. I leave her stuffed llama on her lap before pushing her towards the aisle of produce.
"We are having pasta tonight, Sav. Wanna pick the shape?" I ask her, holding up 3 different types of pasta. She looks at them for a moment, pointing at the farfalle with a smile.
"Buttehfly" She cheers. I hand the bag to her and she throws it in, moving happily.
"Buttehfly... Now, we need to buy cheese and tomatoes. And of course, yogurt..." I smile at her, leaning down to peck on her forehead.
She moves to the rhythm of whatever song is playing in the store, swinging her feet as I push the cart. She brings a smile to my face, no matter how tired I am right now this squish is the only thing I need.
"(Y/N)?" I hear someone call me. I look up, finding Ashton before me. Besides him stands Calum, looking between me and Savanna, again and again, the state of shock on his face only growing.
"Hi, Ash." I wave. Sav turns her head around to look at who I am talking to, and now Calum is as pale as a sheet.
"Long time no see..." Ashton states, breaking the silence between the four of us.
"I would say nearly 3 years." I reply. Calum is still in shock, not saying a word as his eyes are glued to the little girl in my cart.
"Yep, that sounds right... Who's that pretty ladybug?" Ash cheers, waving at Sav who giggles shyly.
"This is Savanna, Sav for shorts... Sav baby, say hi to Ashton..." I assure the baby who waves at the man.
"Hi, Savanna. It is nice to meet you..." He cheers, bringing his hand to shake hers.
"We have to finish shopping before this little one gets cranky. It was nice seeing you again. Both of you..." I say politely, pushing the cart to get going.
Calum wraps his hand around my wrist, stopping me from moving any further.
"Is she...?" He begins and I sigh.
"Yeah..." I reply, pressing my tongue against my teeth.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks. I pull my wrist from his grip, placing my hand on my hip while I stare at him in anger.
"I am not having this conversation with you in the middle of a produce store." I state.
"When, then?" He asks, voice rising. Ashton steps in, placing his hand on Calum's shoulder and pushing him back a little.
"Not fucking now, not in front of her." Ashton groans, turning to look at Sav.
"He is right. Not right now, not in front of Savanna." I state. Calum looks down on me, nodding his head before staring at me for an answer. I reach for my backpack, pulling an old receipt from it and a marker, scribbling my address on it.
"She is off to bed at 8." I reply, handing the paper scrap to him.
"Sav, let's go pick up our yogurt now..." I cheer to the toddler, going back to the cart.
I check up on Savanna one last time before walking out to the living room. She is sleeping soundly, cuddling her stuffed lion close to her chest as she breathes quietly.
I walk to the couch, looking at the toys sprinkled all over the floor. I sigh and grab the toy bin, throwing the toys inside. I don't know if Calum is going to be coming over today, but for now, I need to make this house less messy.
I knew the moment Calum would see her, he would understand she is his daughter. That girl is his miniature, a literal mini-Calum and she has been like that since the day she was born. I remember looking at her when they handed her to me and crying, knowing I would have to see his face on her every single day.
There is a knock on the door just as I start gathering the crayons on top of the coffee table. I sigh as I prep myself, walking to the door and peeping through the peephole, just to make sure.
Calum is behind it, looking a little angry. I open the door, gesturing for him to walk in.
"Savanna is sleeping, so please, no shouting." I state as he walks in.
"Why didn't you tell me about her? Why didn't you tell me 'hey. I am pregnant. It's yours'?" He asks. He cuts straight to the point, making me close my eyes and crossing my arms before my chest.
"I wanted to tell you..." I reply.
"Wanted? Are you fucking kidding me?" He asks, whisper-shouting.
"What do you fucking want, Calum? I tried telling you, but you gave me the whole 'It was fun while it lasted' speech. What was I supposed to do?" I ask and he throws his hands in the air.
"I don't know, fucking tell me, maybe?"
"You didn't even want to address us hooking up. How do you think that conversation would have gone? I know how it would. You would panic, tell me to have an abortion. I would not hear you and would leave, just like I did. And I would give birth to Savanna, just like I did, and we would be in the same place we are right now." I reply.
"You should have told me. I had the right to know. I ignored the existence of my child up until the point." He protests.
"First thing first, not your child. She is my child, I birthed her, I am raising her. And I never asked for anything from you. Neither of us did. You are no different from a sperm donor. So, you are free to go back to your little life prior to finding out, ignore her existence, and mine if you'd like. We don't need anything from you." I assure him, plopping down on the couch. He takes a moment of just staring at me, breathing slowly before he joins me on the couch.
"She looks exactly like me." He points out.
"Yeah, I've noticed." I chuckle.
"Does she know about me?" He asks me.
"She is 2. She doesn't understand the concept of the typical family. She hasn't asked, so I never told her." I explain. He brings his head between his knees, scratching the back of his head.
"She is a sweetheart. Lovely smile, the friendliest, most empathetic child I have met." I state, making him chuckle.
"So, now you know. I am still not asking anything from you, so whatever your decision is going to be, whatever you want to do with the information that you have a daughter, it is up to you. No harm is done." I state, saving him from the incoming silence.
"I don't know what I want to do, (Y/N). I have to be honest with you. Yes, she seems awesome and all, but this is new. I can't tell you whether I will be able to be part of her life." He replies, looking at his hands.
"I don't know why I expected otherwise from you." I say bitterly, springing up from the couch.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He asks me, looking at me with offense written on his face.
"It means exactly what you understand. This is exactly what I thought you would say when you would find out about Savanna." I bite back, making him tilt his head to the side.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do? I literally found out about her existence a few hours ago, by accident. What do you want me to do?" He asks.
"Nothing. Forget about her, forget you saw us. Do nothing, we have been fine this far without you." I state, moving to open the door for him. I point at it, looking at him sternly as he stares back in shock.
"Are you telling me to leave?" He asks me, stepping in front of me. I don't badge, showing him I am not afraid of him.
"I am. I wish I could say it was nice seeing you, but I would be lying. But I wish you the best, I truly do. Now, go." I demand, making him sigh. He walks out of the door, not speaking a word more before leaving. Savanna and I have been doing fine without him, she doesn't need him and I don't either.
I walk into her room, just to check one last time before I call it a day and head to bed, finding her just as I left her. She is sleeping peacefully and breathing slowly, a thumb pressed on her lips. I lean down to kiss the top of her head and fix her little blanket, closing my eyes to calm myself before I head to bed too. The day has been exhausting, and tomorrow looks no brighter, so I can use the extra hours of sleep.
The day starts at 6:30 when my alarm goes off. I have precisely 20 minutes to shower and do my routine before I have to start Savanna's breakfast and get her out of bed.
It has been like that since she started kindergarten, our days starting and ending early, but I wouldn't change a bit of it.
After I shower and do my skincare, I start making her almond butter and jelly sandwich and chocolate milk. I found the freakiest way she is allergic to peanuts when one day at school they had peanut butter cookies and they called me from their way to the hospital.
"Sav, baby... It is time to get up..." I sing, placing my hand on her back and running over it softly. She stirs and pouts, still not opening her eyes.
"Come on, Savanna. We have to get ready for school." I cheer, picking her up from the mattress.
"No..." She whines, placing her head on my shoulder.
"I know, I know. But we are seeing all our friends, and we are going to play with them and have fun. And then mommy will pick you up, and we will go to the park before dinner... Does that sound good?" I ask her, planting my lips on her chubby cheek.
She just mumbles, earning a chuckle from me.
After I clean her up, we sit at the kitchen table and I pass her breakfast, kissing the top of her head before sitting across her to do my makeup while having coffee.
"I want lipsick." She mumbles as she munches on her breakfast. She has quite the tendency to copy my routine, so I have a lip balm in my makeup bag for her whenever she asks me for makeup. I bring it out of the bag and place it in front of her plate.
"You can put it on after you have finished eating." I state and she nods.
I take a sip from my coffee, watching her as she sips her milk through her sippy cup.
"We have to finish quickly to go get dressed, Sav." I remind her, closing my makeup bag. I take my last sip of coffee, before getting up to wash the dishes used.
She soon hands me her dishes too, trying to reach up to the countertop to leave them there.
"Mommy will be done in a moment. Go to mommy's room and wait to pick up your clothes." I smile at her, rinsing the little plate with Dory painted on it.
She runs away, her little feet tapping against the floor. I watch her just to make sure she is not going to trip and get hurt, before going back to finishing the dishes.
I walk into my bedroom, finding her trying to open the drawer in which her t-shirts are. I scoop her up, seating her on my lap before I open the drawer for her.
"Which one do you want?" I ask, pecking on her temple.
"Kitten." She points to the t-shirt, making me laugh softly as I reach for it. I open the drawer underneath it, picking up a pair of blue leggings for her.
"That's good?" I ask and she nods. I let the clothes on my bed, and then let her on her feet before I stand up to pick my own outfit.
I dress her first and then fix her little curls into two buns on top of her head. She runs off to pick her little bag for school, giving me a bit of time to get dressed for work.
I strap her in her child seat, while the toddler pouts at me for dropping her off. She knows I would do anything for those puppy eyes, but I have to go to work and she has to go to daycare, that's our deal.
The rest of the day goes on slowly, like it normally does until it is time for me to pick Savanna up. She looked a bit tired, but her eyes sparkled the moment we pulled up in the park. She played with the other children and had me swung her on the swing set, but only for a little while since it started raining.
We rush back home, both of us only a little wet from the rain. I carry her to the entrance of our building, with her giggling as the raindrops hit us.
Calum is waiting for us under the rain, looking like a scolded puppy. He is soaked and looks tired, and I stare at him in shock.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, unlocking the door.
"Where were you?" He asks as I gesture for him to get in.
"I was at work, Sav at the daycare. What are you doing here?" I ask again.
"Can we talk?" He asks back. We get in the elevator, with Savanna looking at her father in question.
"Calum... I need to clean her up and feed her... This is a really bad moment." I state and he sighs.
"Please." He pleads, looking at me with regret on his face. I just nod, sinking the elevator back in silence until we reach our floor.
I lift Savanna on top of my bed, swapping her clothes for clean, dry ones. Calum is still waiting in the living room, and I honestly don't feel like going out and picking the conversation back up from where we left it last night.
And Savanna is strangely quiet like she has never been again. I don't know if she senses how uncomfortable I am right now, but I want to believe she does.
"Ok, now... We are going to have some strawberry yogurt and a wafer while mommy is cooking. I am going to make you meatballs today, so it might take a while." I explain to her, stroking her cheek.
"Meatbos..." She cheers, making me smile.
"Let's go out." I pick her up, squeezing her tight to my chest.
Calum follows us to the kitchen, remaining silent as I bring Savanna's snacks out.
"I have a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants you can change in if you want to. I think they were yours, either way... I think I packed them with me in my rush..." I state, grabbing a spoon for Savanna.
"I am fine, thanks. Do you want help with that?" He points at the snacks but I shake my head no.
"Savanna, this is Calum... Mom's old friend... Say hi." I introduce him to her, while I pick a spoonful to feed her. She waves at him and Calum mimics her with a smile.
"So, tell me... Why are you here?" I ask Calum, who leans against the counter.
"I couldn't sleep last night. I should have come over here with a plan and answers, but I didn't. And then I was an... I was wrong and arrogant. I am sorry." He is looking at me as he speaks.
"That's all? Fine, you are forgiven." I brush it off and avert my gaze.
"I am also sorry about the way I was 3 years ago... You didn't deserve any of it. I am sorry you felt you couldn't tell me about her. I get why." He states.
"No need to apologizes. I should have seen you for who you were."
"Fair enough. Anyway, I want to be in her life, have her now I am her father, give her my last name. All of it. I have lost enough of her life, I don't want to lose more. I want to help however you need me to." Calum states, looking at Savanna who is alternating between her yogurt and her wafer.
"Listen... I have been disappointed with you time after time. I can handle it. My daughter doesn't deserve that. So, before you make any promises, make sure you can keep them. Because it's better not having a father at all than having one for 3 months then abandoning her." I state and he nods.
"I understand you are upset. But I am here to stay. She is my daughter, she is my flesh and blood. She looks exactly like me, my spitting image. I want to get to know her, I want to see her grow." He replies. I nod my head and bite my lip, feeding Savanna her snacks.
"I am cooking meatballs for dinner. You are welcome to stay." I invite him, making him chuckle.
"I'd love to. But..." He begins and I chuckle.
"I know you are a vegetarian. I will make rice and salad too. You can... I guess you can play with Sav while I cook. It is a start." I suggest and he nods his head.
"Thank you." He smiles.
"Why did you name her Savanna?" Calum asks as I sit back on the couch after I put Savanna to bed.
"I don't know. It seemed fitting. I wanted to name her Alaska, from the book Looking for Alaska. But when I saw her, she seemed so warm, the name didn't fit. So, I chose Savanna. Savanna Harriet (Y/L/N)." I reply, shrugging my shoulders.
"It suits her. When's her birthday?" He asks. He seems eager to learn more and more about her, I can tell.
"December 27th. She was supposed to be born on January 1st, but she was in a hurry." I chuckle, reminiscing the months I had her inside me and I could feel her every move.
"Yeah, it makes sense... She is lovely, (Y/N)... She is sweet and well-mannered. Lovely. I can't even imagine how hard it must have been to raise her by yourself..." He mumbles under his breath. I drag in a deep breath, leaning my head against the back of the couch.
"It was... But she was worth everything." I reply. It is awkward between us, the silence is deafening and I really don't know what else to say, even though there is a lot we have to discuss.
"She is allergic to peanuts, has a structured routine, loves the Emperor's New Groove because she loves llamas. She can literally live off of Strawberry yogurt, she has 4 freckles on the back of her neck that look like a little constellation. Her favorite blanket is a lilac knitted one. She likes your music." I mumble to fill the silence, making him look at me at full focus.
"She likes my music?" He asks, his cheeks turning bright.
"Don't stop is her favorite. She bops to it. It was in one of my playlists the first time she heard it and ever since, she dances to it every time it is on." I explain.
"Dude, not Don't Stop." He groans.
"She is 2, Calum... She doesn't really appreciate lyrics or harmonies. Don't Stop is the closest you have to a kids' song." I chuckle, rolling my eyes.
"Do you think I can come over tomorrow morning to spend some time with her?" He asks shyly, making me hum in denial.
"She goes to daycare in the morning." He sighs in disappointment.
"You still work where you used to when we were living together?" He asks me.
"Yeah... Not many things have changed since that period... Well, except for the obvious..." I comment.
"Yeah... When did you find out about her? I mean, I know it was before you left, but when did you realize?" He asks me. I drag in a long breath, looking at him and silently asking him if he wants to know the answer.
"A week before I told you I was leaving. I was late and I wanted to tell you before taking a test, but you were always either with someone or out of the house. So, I took the test and I wanted to tell you before confirming it, but it was the same song and dance. So, my last resort was telling you and showing you the ultrasound, so we would discuss it, but you were an asshole to me, so I decided that since I was doing this alone, I might as well do it away from you." I shrug and he sighs in disappointment.
"I am sorry. Back then I..." He begins, face flustering before I cut him off.
"It is getting late for me. I have to go to bed. You can come over tomorrow if you want to spend time with Savanna." I rush to say, standing up from the couch to get away from him.
"Goodnight, then. I will see you tomorrow." He whispers before walking through my door.
"Are you ok?" Calum asks as he walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge.
"Yeah... Just tired, I guess. How is Sav?" I ask, trying to peep in the living room.
"She is fine. Just hungry. Maybe you should take a nap." He suggests, taking a cup of yogurt out of the fridge.
"I am fine. I have to cook." I brush it off but he places his hand on top of mine and takes a seat.
"I can order something when you wake up. Savanna is playing with Ashton's toys, and I can give her snacks. You can nap for a moment, we will be fine. We will even watch The Emperor's New Groove so she stays quiet." He assures me.
"No more than 2 episodes..."
"I know... No more than 2 episodes, no peanuts, no ice cream before dinner. And not too much juice because she goes batshit crazy from the sugar rush. Go to sleep, we will be fine for a couple of hours." He smiles softly at me, making me smile back. He seems softer now, more caring. Maybe Savanna brings the best out of all of us.
"Alright... Wake me up in an hour. And I am craving Chinese. I have my credit card in my wallet." I state, earning a hum from him.
"Yeah yeah... Sleep." He walks away, calling for Savanna to feed her yogurt.
The nap was everything I needed. My body cracks as I stretch, which is a sign that I rested well enough.
I walk out of my bedroom, hearing voices from the kitchen, lots of giggling, and music echoing in the house.
"Hey there..." I greet, stepping in and finding Calum setting the table with Savanna's assistance.
"Hi, sleepyhead. Did we wake you up?" Calum asks, smiling at me.
"No. I had a timer set. Hi, bub... Are you helping daddy with the table?" I ask, picking Sav up. I pepper her face in kisses, holding her tight to my chest.
Calum is staring at me, either petrified or at a loss of words from happiness.
I have been telling Savanna that Calum's her dad, so she can get used to it, but I guess never in front of Calum, so now he is taken aback by the suddenness of it.
"I... I ordered Chinese. I don't know if I remember correctly, hope I did. I also ordered some wine for us and extra fortune cookies." He mumbles, pointing at the bottle on the table.
"I don't like drinking in front of Savanna. But it is sweet of you." I reply, helping Savanna take her seat.
"Shit, sorry. Fuck, I cursed... Damn it..." He sighs, running his hand down his face.
"It's ok, don't worry much..." I smile at him, petting Savanna's curls before I take my seat next to her. She is capable of eating by herself, but she still needs a little help to avoid getting messy.
"I can help her with eating..." Calum offers. I know how eager he is to catch up on the moments he has lost from her life this far, so I just let him, accepting all the help he is offering.
"I am supposed to leave for a tour in a few weeks." Calum mumbles, cutting up a spring roll for Savanna.
"I know. I still follow the band's insta. I know you love being on stage..." I comment, picking up the fried rice container.
"I will be gone until December."
"That's a long time. You have had longer tours, though."
"I wasn't a father back then... I mean, I don't want to be gone from her life for that long." He sighs, and I look at him sympathetically.
"She won't forget you if that's what you are worrying about. And you can always FaceTime us... I mean, so you can see her." I reply, taking a bite from my plate.
"I was hoping you would visit too. For a couple of days, whenever you are free..." He suggests, shrugging his shoulders.
"Uh... I don't know, Cal..." I reply, looking at him with a sorry look.
"I can pay for everything. I just want to be able to see her." He pleads.
"Money is not the issue here. I am keeping my vacation days in case something happens and I need them... And I don't know if it is possible to take days off now. Plus, no one knows about Savanna, and I'd like to keep it that way. I want a normal life for her, not people trying to take her pictures." I explain.
"I can arrange for security for you and I am sure we can manage to keep you two under the radar. Plus, you can always just take Friday and Monday off and just visit for a long weekend. I am sure you can spare 2 days..." He suggests. I drag in a breath and give in, nodding my head.
"I guess we can visit. Maybe in the middle of the tour."
"Yeah, that sounds good. Thank you." He smiles, instantly lightening up.
"Are you sure the rest of the guys are ok with that?" I ask and he nods.
"We have talked about it. They are actually eager to meet her. They really couldn't believe I was the first from the band to become a parent." He chuckles, taking a bite from his plate, finally.
"Really though? Haven't they heard of all your little adventures?" I ask him, making him cock an eyebrow at me.
"I don't kiss and tell." He replies, earning a laugh out of me.
"Sure."
Savanna clings to my chest as everyone gathers around us, trying to take a peek at their friend's daughter. She was never the uttermost socialite, and big crowds always made her extra restless, so now I truly get she is nearly petrified.
"Hey... Hey... A step back, please... Let me see my little bug." Calum clears the path, walking to Savanna and picking her up from my embrace. The toddler starts lightening up, giggling as she sees her dad. Within months, she has grown closer to him than I thought she ever would.
"How are you, sweetheart?" Ashton asks me, pulling me into a hug.
"I am good. A little tired from the trip, but good all things considered. How are you, Ash? How is tour treating you?" I ask and he shrugs, a smile curling on his face.
"It's fine. We are halfway through and I don't know if I want more or I want to go home." He replies, planting a kiss on my forehead.
"Yeah, just as usual."
"Calum was counting the days for your visit. He made us all so hyped about you and Savanna joining us." He comments, looking over at Calum who is spinning Savanna around.
"He has missed her. And she has too. I could see it every time they FaceTimed, he was about to cry by the end of the call. And Savanna usually did cry at the end of it... It was messy." I chuckle, earning a hum from Ashton.
"I know. He is soft for that girl..." He nudges me softly, pointing at the father-daughter duo.
Savanna is long asleep on Calum's chest after the show, with Calum still stroking her hair and humming.
"Thank you." He whispers to me, bringing the blanket closer to her body.
"What for?" I ask, joining them to the couch.
"For bringing her to me. I didn't know I could miss her that much." He replies, pecking the top of her head.
"You are welcome." I simply reply, leaning my head back.
"6 more weeks and I am back home." He sighs, pressing a kiss on top of Savanna's hair.
"And then it's Christmas... And Savanna's first birthday with her daddy. Many things to be excited about." I giggle, raxing my body.
"Maybe we should do something to celebrate." He suggests, barely whispering, in fear of waking Savanna up.
"Well, I want to throw her a party. There is this private playground all her classmates had a party at and she always loved it there. I am thinking of booking it." I reply.
"I was thinking about something more family-focused. I was thinking of maybe going to the mountains. Typical snowy Christmas and all."
"Family-focused..." I chuckle sarcastically, still not used to the fact Calum and I are technically a family.
"I know... I just... It will sound stupid, but this will be my first Christmas with her, and I want a little bit of magic on it. I want snowful scenery and a classic fireplace to drink hot chocolate before it." He explains. I can't help but smile at his softness, nodding my head at him.
"I guess I can let you take her for Christmas. But I really want to spend her birthday with her." I state.
"You should come too. I want you there." He insists, looking at me with a sparkle in his eyes.
"Calum, your suggestion is lovely, but I can't."
"I know I wasn't the best of friends, nor the best of partners after our hookup, and I am sorry about that. But I am hoping we can be ok again. I can't imagine you spending Christmas away from our daughter. Nor I want you to because of me."
"Calum, this has nothing to do with you. You are not the reason I can't come. I told you before, I am keeping my vacation days in case something happens with Savanna. In case she gets sick or gets hurt. I need to save my vacation days to be there for her." I explain to him again, making him look at me with furrowed eyebrows.
"You don't have to do that anymore. I am here. I am not going anywhere, I can be there in case -God forbid- something happens." He assures me, yawning and blinking slowly.
"Alright. We can talk about it more in the morning. Give her to me, let's all go to bed." I stand up, reaching down to pick Savanna up.
"Can she sleep in my bunk tonight? I don't want to let go of her yet..." He asks, arms still tight around her little body.
"Sure. She will be happy to wake up next to her daddy. I will be sleeping in the back lounge if you need anything. Luke told me it is way comfier than any of the bunks." I chuckle, planting a kiss on Savanna's cheek.
"Yeah, he is right. Goodnight, (Y/N)" He smiles softly at me, his voice smooth and soft from being sleepy.
Morning rolls around and I open my eyes with a smile on my face. For some reason, I feel so happy lately, I can't stop myself from cheesing all the time.
I walk out of the back lounge, finding Calum and Savanna already awake, Savanna sitting on Calum's lap while they are watching something on his laptop.
"Hey, bub..." I greet, leaning to peck on Sav's forehead.
"Good morning, mama." Calum cheers, shaking Savanna's arm so she waves at me.
"Did my little munchkin sleep well?" I coo, taking a seat on the couch. On Calum's laptop, I can see an episode of The Emperor's New School playing, which explains why Savanna is not paying attention to me.
"She slept throughout the night like a little birdie. Then she woke me up at 6 to tell me she's hungry." Calum chuckles, stroking her hair.
"I am sorry. But now you know how it is..."I giggle softly, leaning my head on the back of the couch so I can look at the screen. Calum opens his arm and pats his chest, inviting me to rest my head there. I hesitate, staying where I am while I look at him.
"Come on... We have done worse than cuddle as a family." He assures me, making me nod while blushing.
I curl up to him, placing an arm around Sav and trying to focus more on the screen than the fact that we are in this situation.
"Did you sleep well last night?" Calum asks me, trying to sound casual.
"Yeah, it was great. Even better since I didn't wake up to feed Sav. What about you?" I ask, looking up to him.
"I slept well... I was trying not to roll over and crush Savanna." He laughs softly, smiling proudly. I stare at him for a second, taking in his details; the plump skin and squishy cheeks, the day-old stubble that covers his face, the soft lines by his eyes as he smiles. And then his scent hits me; the cologne along with his musk mixing and making me feel warm inside.
Oh no...
I look at Calum and Savanna through the window as they play in the snow outside. I was never the one to like the cold, so California was the perfect place for me. But Savanna and Calum seem to not get enough of it.
It has been 2 days since we traveled to the mountains, and the duo practically stays in the snow all day long.
It is stupid, the fact that I feel so nice seeing him interact with our daughter. But I can't help but feel my heart flutter at how soft fatherhood has turned him.
I close my laptop and take the last swig from my tea before standing up to walk to the cabin's little kitchen.
It is nearly 3 and as soon as they will walk through the door, both of them are going to be famished. So, a couple of sandwiches and a salad will have to do until it is time for dinner.
They walk through the door as I finish serving the snacks on plates; a sandwich cut in triangles, Savanna's crust-free and Calum's with tofu turkey, and a side of green salad to fill them up until we dine normally.
"Did you two snowmen finally decide to come in?" I ask, watching Calum help Savanna remove her snow clothes.
"Someone got hungry..." Calum sings, making me chuckle.
"Are you talking about yourself?" I ask him with a cocked eyebrow.
"Maybe. Let's go wash up, Savvie." He smirks, picking the soon-to-be 3-year old in his arms and walking to the bathroom.
I set us for lunch on the kitchen's island, waiting for the rest of the gang to join me. It feels weirdly homey, all of this like I have done it a thousand times before.
"Here we are... What did mama make?" Calum cheers, seating Savanna on her chair. She instantly drags the plate closer to her, grabbing her little kiddie fork to dig in her plate.
"Wait... You have an eyelash on your cheek..." Calum stops me before sitting on my seat, moving closer to me. He leans down to look at my face, picking the eyelash from the top of my cheek. It feels so intimate, I don't dare breathe while his fingers stroke my face.
"Make a wish..." He whispers, holding the eyelash on his fingertip. I stare at him for a second, before Ι blow the eyelash away and take my seat, focusing on my food.
"I used tofu turkey on yours..." I comment, looking away from him.
"Thanks." He seems just as awkward as I do, cheeks taking a bright shade of red.
"We made snowman." Savanna cheers, prompting her dad to pick his phone and show me the pictures.
"Oh, bub... This is bigger than you are..." I giggle, looking at my daughter pose next to the snowman, which is a head taller than her.
"He is Olaf..." She replies, grinning from ear to ear.
"Of course he is Olaf... She is going to start calling you Elsa pretty soon..." I giggle, nudging Calum.
"I have been called worse." He chuckles.
"She is off for the day." Calum sighs in relief, plopping down on the couch next to me.
"She spent you, didn't she?" I ask sarcastically, looking up from my book.
"I don't know how someone so small can be so full of energy." He groans, but happiness is written on his face.
"She is restless. But thankfully, she is a quiet child." I reply, scanning the pages before me.
"She is..." He huffs, smiling at me.
"You look pretty tonight, (Y/N)." He compliments me, leaning his head against the back of the couch, sprawling on it a little.
"Yeah, yeah... I am sure." I brush it off, going back to my book.
"I am serious. You were always breath-taking gorgeous, but tonight, you seem... I don't know, different. You are glowing." He compliments, making me chuckle sarcastically.
"What is it, Hood? Haven't gotten it wet in a while?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow. He chuckles at me, biting his bottom lip as he shakes his head.
"Just telling the truth, (Y/L/N)... You always drove me insane, the past few days even more. I heard your breath hitch while I was picking up that eyelash of your cheek... Are you having flashbacks?" He asks with a smirk. I close my book and leave it on the coffee table, turning to look at him.
"No... At least not the ones you are thinking about." I state.
"Then? You were always completely honest with me; well, most of the time. What made you lose your breath?" He asks, sitting a little better.
"Are you sure you want to hear it?" I ask and he nods, looking at me intrigued.
"I am asking for it, aren't I?" He replies cockily.
"I was thinking of all the things that made me fall for you. The sweetness, the sly smiles, the little things. And then I remembered all the ways you were a douche to me, and my breathing got normal again. So... there you go." I state, looking at him with a glare.
"You... You fell for me?" He asks, eyebrows furrowed together.
"God, this is stupid and pointless. Goodnight..." I stand up, ready to leave, and head to my temporary room.
"No, wait... You can't drop that bomb and leave."
"Oh, I can. Watch me."
"(Y/N), for fuck's sake. Have a decent conversation with me for once." He grabs my wrist, stopping me from walking further.
"Why? You were loud and clear the last time I tried... 'We had fun... But let's not complicate things... Don't try to make a thing out of it, we won't work...' Your words, right?" I ask, squinting my eyes.
"You think I am the same person I was back then?" He asks me with hurt in his voice.
"I don't know, Calum... I really don't. But I can't risk it. There is too much at stake now. I can't put Savanna in that situation. And I don't even know why we are having this conversation now... You are going to tell me you suddenly fell for me? You are going to tell me I am suddenly worth it? What?" I ask, trying not to talk too loud.
"You don't know what I am going to tell you... You can't shove words in my mouth..." He protests and I chuckle.
"All of a sudden you fell for me... You hadn't seen me in 3 years, you had forgotten I even existed and suddenly you fell for me... Next thing you are going to tell me is that you had feelings for me back then..." I sass, throwing my head back in annoyance. Calum is quiet, awfully so... So, I bring my gaze to him, finding him looking at his hands.
"Calum... You... You had... feelings? For me?" I ask him, tilting his chin up. He is tensed and quiet, looking at me as he tries to put his thoughts in order.
"I was a screw-up. I shoved everything inside me after the storm and pretended you didn't exist. I never told anyone about our hook-up, in fear they would find out. Especially, Ashton, he was always suspicious about the way I felt for you. I did what I did, trying to deny myself I was in too deep. And then you left and I convinced myself you didn't feel anything for me, so I stopped caring. It was fucked up... The whole thing was fucked up. You had our baby, our Savvie... I saw you in the store that day and I froze. I was petrified and I lashed out at you the first time I came over. I don't know what you want me to say more, (Y/N)..." He closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath.
"You are only saying that because of Savanna. She is not a tool for you and me to be together. If she wasn't here and you stumbled upon me on the same store, on the same day, we wouldn't be here now." I state.
"Listen to me... She is not the reason I fell for you. I was enamored by the thought of you, way before she came. She only added to what I feel for you. Watching you mother her, loving her, raising her, all that, only added fuel to the fire. She is not the reason I am telling you all that, she is only part of it." He explains, his voice dropping and becoming soft. I just stare at him, pressing my tongue to the roof of my mouth as I try to force myself to do something.
Fuck it.
I reach up to cup his face, bringing my lips to his, earning a sigh from him. He grabs me by my waist, holding me tight to his body as he kisses me back, one hand going to the back of my head.
We are a tangled mess together, eager hands exploring each other again, trying to remember how one feels against the other.
He grabs the hand that is resting on his chin and brings it on top of his chest, making me feel how fast his heart is beating. It is insane, how his heartbeat mimics mine, hearts fluttering as we remember each other's taste.
I don't even recall who suggested going to the bedroom. I don't remember who was the first to crack, but I remember that I felt a huge relief when we stumbled into the room. I remember being pinned underneath him, his hand wrapping around my wrists to keep me there, occasionally traveling to my mouth to muffle me. I remember feeling his cock slam deep inside me, me moaning in pleasure as he reached that spot inside me. I remember how good his moaning and panting sounded as we fucked, bringing each other to a different type of high
I remember...
"You know you sleep like a bunny?" Calum asks me as he passes me a cup of coffee.
"How do bunnies sleep?" I ask him, sitting up from where I have been laying since last night.
"I don't know. I just saw you sleeping and you looked like a bunny." He replies, sitting on his spot.
"I am way less caffeinated than I should be to make sense of you." I groan, pressing my hand against my temples.
"How did you sleep?" He asks me as I rax my body.
"I don't know. It was weird. How did you sleep?" I ask him and he shrugs.
"I've slept better. But it was fine, at least you weren't snoring." He jokes and I groan at him.
"Hey..." I protest and he just hums.
"You were moaning though." He points out, making me bite my lip before replying.
"Yeah, I've been told I do that." I stutter.
What the fuck was that dream?