~~~Newt's Pov~~~
"You and Brianne?"
"Brianne and I."
Minho laughed, "I hate young love."
"Slim it," I laughed too, "Just because you're a coldhearted shank with no one to love, doesn't mean that I can't like someone."
"I don't need anyone. There's a difference," Minho corrected.
"Maybe the next girl that gets sent up will be into you."
"So I wait- what- four months no thanks. I'll just stay single."
"Your choice."
After a pause, Minho said, "You ask her out, yet?"
"Come again?"
"Have you asked Brianne to be your girlfriend yet? Made things official?"
"No?" Did I have to?
"Bruh, what are you waiting for?"
"The right time?"
"The time is perfect! It's not like your relationship is some big secret."
"It's secret enough."
It really wasn't a secret. I mean, I didn't want it to be a secret.
Did it appear that way?
"We all watched you kiss, it ain't a secret anymore."
"So it was secretive before?"
"Yah, it kind of was. I only knew about y'all because I'm close to you; I see you sneak off and meet with her like everyday."
I don't want Brianne to feel like I'm hiding our growing relationship because I'm not. I like Brianne and I want to let everyone know.
"I do not."
"See! You're denying it!"
"Fine, we do meet.... A lot."
"So why not ask her out?"
I sighed, "I don't know if I'm ready." Truthfully, I didn't want to let someone get close to me again, not after my break up with Amelia.
"Not ready for what?"
"A relationship." I don't want to hurt Brianne.
"What about a relationship?"
"Commitment?" I'm also scared to make promises to Brianne that I can't keep.
"Who are you gonna cheat on Brianne with? Amelia? Please. Thats not really why you aren't ready."
"No, I'm just scared. What if something happens?" I'm fully capable of doing stupid stuff.
"What could possibly happen here?"
"The maze. The grievers. What if something happened?" I wanted to scream. Just scream out about how I really felt.
I was gonna die someday. And I don't want to break Brianne, because I, myself am a bit broken.
If she really meant what she said the other night, that she loves me, then it might already be too late.
Everything is just this inward battle against me and myself. I want to forget everything and just live happily with Brianne, but I want to end my torture too.
I want to make her happy, but I also want to make myself happy.
"Wow, dude, that's enough serious talk for one day. Let's just stick to the basics of you making things official with Brianne."
"Okay."
"Ask her, tonight."
I took a second to think things over. I mean, if she meant what she said, then really, what was I waiting for? "Fine."
I wanted to add, 'But I won't drag her into my sadness.'
But I kept my answer simple.
~~~~~~
~~~Brianne's Pov~~~
"You and Newt?" Victoria questioned, as she washed her hands.
"Yah," I answered, half paying attention.
"You're like a thing now?" Victoria asked.
"Yah," I said, dreamily.
"Have y'all put titles to it yet?"
"Yah-wait what?" That stopped my whole happy train.
"Ya' know, boyfriend and girlfriend. Have you put the title to your relationship?" Victoria laughed.
"Do I have to?"
"Yes, like, you gotta take him off the market, girl; if you know what I'm saying."
"No, I don't," I huffed, "There's no market, there's only the glade. And nobody here is going to steal Newt from me."
"You still need a title."
"Okay fine, but what if Newt isn't ready?"
"Who the heck cares if he's ready?"
"Isn't he supposed to put a title to it first?" I threw this question out, knowing the answer already. It doesn't matter who asks. I just didn't want to do it.
"Oh, God! I need to teach you the basics of life before you go throwing bf/gf titles around," Victoria sighed, "It doesn't matter who puts the title on your relationship. But somebody has to do it eventually!"
"I feel weird. Is it too soon?"
"He saved your life. The time for too soon is over."
"How do I bring the conversation up?"
"Hi, I'm gonna be your girlfriend." Victoria said, sarcastically.
I rolled my eyes, "It's not that simple."
"Yes, it is. I mean, this is coming from the girl who thought she was gonna wait for Newt to add a title to their relationship. Hun, you'll be waiting a long time! He's shy and awkward. You need to do it. It's very simple."
"Okay, so I just go up to him, and be like, 'sup g, I'm your girlfriend, right?' And he'll agree?"
Victoria literally face-palmed, "Maybe, you should wait."
"No, it's okay. I'm ready," I reassured.
"You act like this is some big commitment. Y'all already made out in front of everyone at the banishing, there's no secrets."
"Not funny, it was just a kiss."
"Mmhmm, and you threw out the word."
"What word?"
"The word." Victoria gave me an expectant look, before rolling her eyes when I didn't understand, "The love word. You used it."
"I did not."
"Yes, you did!"
"How would you know?"
"Newt told Minho and Minho told me."
"I didn't throw the love word out." But I did. Crap.
"Yes, you did! So you, miss, should be fine with the titles of relationships."
"I can't believe Newt told Minho that," I sighed.
"He trusts him, Minho trusts me, and I trust you. It's called a line of friendship."
"You people bother me."
"But you love us, remember?" Victoria poked me.
"No, I don't. And it's too soon to put a title onto Newt and I's relationship. Don't you think?"
"Well, here- he said he loved you too, right?"
I thought back to the other night. Did he?
My mind rushed through our conversation, or the bits of it I remember. He had to have said something.
"He didn't say it back?!" Victoria shouted, placing her hand over her mouth.
"I don't know."
Victoria threw her head back laughing, "You'd remember if he did."
"Well, does that mean he doesn't like me?" I asked, feeling a bit embarrassed and disappointed.
"He likes you, heck, he probably loves you too, but he's a boy and sometimes boys don't know what they're doing."
"I'm so stupid." I literally face-palmed.
"Brianne," Victoria started, trying to comfort me, "He saved your life. He loves you. Trust me, he does. He was just in shock that he helped you, maybe? Or maybe he's never heard someone say that they love him, and didn't know how to react."
"He probably still likes Amelia." I sighed, "I'm so naive. Just like you said, I'm oblivious."
"Don't take my words out of context. I said that you were oblivious to the fact that everyone cared about you."
"I know. I'm sorry. It's okay, I- I just need a breath of fresh air." I quickly smiled before leaving the medjacks room.
"Don't do anything stupid." Victoria said, as I left.
I ran down the stairs and out the door of the homestead, ignoring the looks I got from the few people sitting inside.
I shouldn't be upset.
Newt doesn't have to feel the same way.
"Love isn't one-sided." The little voice in the back of my head reminded me.
I asked someone for the time, to which they politely responded, "No clue."
I forget that only Keepers and Runners get watches.
So no matter the time, I decided to go to the storage room. Might as well be early. Newt wouldn't be there until fiveish.
I looked up as I walked, deciding that by the temperature and the intensity of daylight, it was around four. But, lets be real, I don't know anything about survival tricks like that.
"Brianne."
I kept walking, actually I picked up my pace a little.
"Hey! I just want to talk."
Just keep going, Brianne. Don't look back.
Finally the 'someone' grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. I looked up to see Amelia, "Get the heck away from me," I spat.
"Hey, look, I understand, judging by the look you're giving me, that you're pretty angry," Was Amelia really trying to reason with me right now?
"Don't speak to me." I tried to turn around.
"I have to!" She looked to the side, "I'm sorry."
I laughed. Like I literally laughed, "Who paid you to say that? Nick?"
"No, I'm saying this myself. I'm sorry. I took things too far."
"Ya' think?" I rolled my eyes. This was crap. The bottled up anger from a couple nights ago was on the verge of overflowing and Amelia better hope I don't kill her for almost killing me.
"I was jealous that Newt had moved on. But, I just needed to get over myself."
"That's a pretty big hurdle to jump over," I crossed my arms over my chest, "What do you want from me?"
"I don't want anything."
"If you think that by apologizing everything is going to be fixed, then you're delusional. I never want to speak to you again. You need to just leave me alone. You've won, okay? I'm done trying to-"
"I want a truce. I want the hatred between us to go away."
"This is ridiculous. I hate you, Amelia."
"I know. I just- I'm glad Newt has you now."
"What?" I asked, absolutely shocked at the turn in conversation.
"I'm happy for you. It's over, you've won. You got me back. You said you loved Newt. He loves you too. Truce."
"Please, this is only the beginning," I scoffed, and turned around, starting to walk away.
"Just- Brianne!"
"What?"
"Don't mess up. I don't think Newt could take another heartbreak."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, he needs someone and that someone couldn't be me. Too much emotional drama, but he needs help. And you just signed yourself up to be his counselor."
"K."
"Just don't be upset when he hides you away, like all his other secrets."
I didn't look back, again. I didn't need to. Amelia's literally the most annoying person ever.
How could she honestly think that I would forgive her? And then she tried to give me advice? Like honey, no. I don't want to hear your crap.
She needs to leave. Like go far, far away.
But I couldn't help thinking back on her words. I was Newt's counselor? What the heck is that supposed to mean?
And she said that Newt would hide me away? Like a secret? He doesn't do that. We're completely open with our relationship. Why is everyone so concerned with my personal life today? I can 'date' Newt when I feel ready. And until then, it doesn't matter if we only really talk in the middle of the deadheads in a basement, alone.
That's okay. We're not hiding.
We're just- complicated.
I sighed, as I made my way to Newt and I's meeting place.
I walked rather quickly, because I wanted to look at something.
I pushed my conversation with Amelia to the back of my mind, as I rushed down the stairs of the storage room.
I pushed boxes out of the way and walked over to the bookshelf. My hand grabbing onto the old books binding.
I wonder if Newt's written how he feels about me? I just need to know. Does he love me back?
I literally sound so thirsty, right now, but I couldn't care less.
To my surprise, I flipped the book open to find that multiple pages of paper had writing on them. Ranging from one small sentence to the whole page being filled with words.
I skimmed past the first page and onto the second.
Entry 2.
Familiar. That is what you are. You're the first one to ever give me that feeling. And I hope that in a thousand years, you'll still be the only one to hold that title.
Entry 3.
The way you looked at me was indescribable. Your golden eyes searched mine with infinite hope. You believed in me. I really don't know why. I was a memory deficient teenage old boy. A boy that had roamed in a never ending slum for as long as he could remember. But with your light stricken love, I think I might be able to see the brighter side of life once again. I do pray that you never lose that spark. A spark that even the sun, if existing, would be jealous of. You light the stars of my world and I couldn't be any more grateful. Please, don't give up on me. I'm not the easiest to love.
Well, crap. I flipped to another page.
Entry 4.
Things are weird and I'm not sure how to put this. But I hate myself. I hate-
"Brianne?" I slammed the book closed and quickly slid it back into it's place on the shelf, just as Newt came into sight.
I didn't even have time to process the words I'd just read, "Hi." I waved awkwardly. He definitely knows that I was reading his book.
"I didn't think you'd be down here."
Amelia's voice echoed in my thoughts; was Newt hiding our relationship?
"I was thinking the same thing. What time is it?"
"5:30." Oh, "I was, uh- thinking that maybe we wouldn't stay down here today," Newt proposed, looking at his feet awkwardly.
"Where do you want to go?" Ha! Take that Amelia! I felt like slapping myself for almost giving in to her taunting suggestions.
"Just out." Newt shrugged his shoulders, and turned so that his back faced me. He began walking away, "You coming?" He asked, as he started up the stairs.
"Yah- I'm coming." I said, tripping over my feet to catch up to him.
Newt was being awkward, but that's okay. I pulled the storage room door shut behind me.
"Ah, fresh air." Newt inhaled deeply.
I couldn't help but laugh, "I think that whole lovesick disease is really affecting you. Do you have a fever?"
"Nope." Newt stopped his steady stroll to grab my hand, "I just like the outdoors."
I glanced at our hands and then back up to his face, "Alright, I know you're up to something."
"Me? Scheming an evil plan? I'd never," He paused for a second, "Just taking a beautiful walk with a beautiful girl."
I rolled my eyes, "Oh, yes, a wonderful walk through the incredible fields of the glade. What a sight!"
Without much warning, Newt began skipping.
"What are you doing now?" I brought my hand up to my face, "Slow down." I said, almost falling.
"Come on, live a little, Brianne." He let go of my hand and spun around.
"I'm plenty alive."
"Barely."
I stopped running and stood watching Newt as he skipped through the overgrown grass, "You enjoying yourself?" I shouted out to him, the distance between us getting bigger.
He stopped his movement to turn and face me, "I am, but I'd have more fun if you were out here too!" He began fake pouting, "Come here."
I shook my head.
"Please?" He said, holding the word out.
"You have to come to me." I compromised, honestly tired from sprinting a couple minutes ago. How Newt could run all day in the maze and then come back to the glade and run some more, was beyond me.
So Newt did, he ran up and wrapped his arms around my waist, spinning me around.
"Stop, Newt. Someone's gonna see us." I reasoned, trying to pull his arms off me.
"I don't care."
"You should."
"Let everyone see how much I love you, " There it was; Love. He said it. I mean, he didn't directly say it, but he said it enough, "Love." He added, what I assume to be a pet-name, with a smile.
I tried not to internally die.
Newt kissed me on the forehead, before letting go, "Last one to dinner is- uh, in love less." And with that he ran away, me following close behind. The rush of adrenaline that comes with love somewhere in the middle.
~~~~~~
~~~Newt's Pov~~~
Brianne held a torch in her outstretched hand. The fire burnt brightly in the dark of the night, illuminating our faces, as we walked to the sleeping sector of the glade.
I watched a small smile, grace across her face, "Fire is so pretty."
I laughed, "Really? It's kind of destructive don't ya think?"
"But it's so beautiful." Her eyes reflected the flames, their gold color shining.
"I'll be right back." I said, running towards the nearest tree. Grabbing onto its branches, I hoisted myself up onto one of the tree's limbs.
"A runner and a climber. Quite the athletic shank." I could picture the huge smile on her face, as I heard those words.
"Yah, I'm very athletic." I mumbled, trying not to show my struggle, "Obviously."
I reached up above me, my fingers pulling off a couple of leaves.
I hopped down, my feet hitting the ground with a thud.
"Be careful." Brianne warned me, the medjack in her showing a bit too much.
I held out the leaf, a few inches above the tip of the fire, "Wanna see somethin' cool?" Brianne nodded her head, eyes watching in anticipation.
I brought the leaf down so that the fire began to singe it.
"It looks like it's disappearing!" She shouted excitedly, as I laughed.
She was staring at that leaf in awe. Her whole being completely immersed in the sight.
Lets just say that we were both staring at something amazingly beautiful.
I mean, I thought the burnt leaf was cool and all, but I couldn't pull my gaze away from Brianne.
The way her dark hair fell in subtle waves, framing her face perfectly. I didn't know many girls, but she was certainly my favorite.
And I knew then, for sure, that I had to ask her out tonight.
"This is crazy!" She smiled, the skin beside her eyes crinkling.
Yah, it's absolutely insane, how much I like you.
"What?" She asked, looking at me, for the first time in a while.
"Did I say that out loud?" My eyes widened, as she nodded, laughing.
I was immediately grateful for the darkness, because that was just bloody mortifying.
"It was cute." Brianne said, still holding the torch out in front of her. We began walking again.
"Sure, if you're into awkward shanks like me." I looked around hoping no one had heard this conversation.
"Hey, you never know what my type might be." She shook her head, still laughing at me.
"Your hair is going to catch on fire, if you aren't careful," I looked ahead at the slowly approaching ring of torches and people. I have to do it now, "I've been meaning to ask you something."
"I have too, actually." She said, and I became a little less tense.
Just ask her to be your girlfriend, you dimwit. It's not that hard.
"Really? Well, I have a feeling we aren't asking the same question."
"Oh, okay, then you can go first."
Of course I can.
"Uh, Minho. He- uh- got me thinking earlier. And I wanted to ask if- ya' know-"
"I don't," Brianne said, cluelessly.
"Well, We've been talking for a while-"
"Two weeks, three days." She threw in.
"Yah, and we're close, right? So I kind of think we should take our relationship out of the friend zone."
"Mmmhmm."
Goodness, why can't she understand what I'm saying? I want to say it, but I don't. Because I'm scared. What if she says no?
"I wanted to ask- look, I like you a lot. And what are we going to do, just sit around and like each other all day?"
"What else is there to do?" Brianne asked.
"Okay, I'm just gonna spit it out," I took a deep breath, "Will you be my girlfriend?"
Brianne's smile dropped to a look of shock.
"I understand if it's too soon, or if you don't really like me. I get it. Trust me, I buggin' get it-"
"Newt, of course, I will. I was actually going to ask you an almost identical question."
I stopped rambling, "Oh, okay! I just didn't expect you to say yes!"
"How could I say no!" Brianne exclaimed.
"Are you serious?" That easy? I didn't have to beg or anything?
"Are you serious?" She asked, copying me.
"Yah, I just thought, this would be harder than it was."
"I did too, actually." Brianne left the torch outside of the sleeping area, "Wait, you said Minho got you thinking, right?"
"I did." I nodded, as I led us both through the mass of hammocks. I guess, I'll go to my bed, because I've got no clue where hers is.
"Victoria was on my case this morning about the 'making our relationship official' crap."
"They're a little tag-team, the two of them. I don't get why they don't date?"
"I was thinking the same thing! They're basically a perfect match."
"I know, but Minho's stubborn, he won't make the first move." I made it to my hammock and awkwardly didn't know what to do.
Do I say goodbye or?
It's late and I'm too tired to think things through.
Brianne took the hint, "I'll see you in the morning, I guess," She smiled.
"Yah, I- uh, you could stay, like sleep with me-"
Wrong choice of words.
"It's okay, I'll just-"
"I mean, you could stay, but there's not really any room, so sleeping wouldn't work and people would assume the worst."
"Oh, um- it's okay. I- I'm sleeping in the homestead anyway." Brianne stuttered, her cheeks turning pink.
God, I'm awkward and now she probably thinks I only want to hook up with her.
I'm an idiot, "I- I didn't mean that the way you think I did."
She laughed, "Its okay, I know what you meant."
I wrapped my arms around Brianne, letting my mind freeze in this moment for a few seconds.
But, I felt this tinge of guilt sparking in the depths of my being, as I looked out at the maze doors.
I realized then, that I was inevitably setting Brianne up for heartbreak.
~~~~~~~
~~~Authors Notes~~~
*long chapter yay and a lot of Newt's Pov*
It's been a while guys, like 10 days!! I just really did not have time to write this week, I'm sorry. And if this chapter is full of grammar errors and misspellings IM SORRY lol, I'm tired.
BUT GUYS 80K. 80,000. Eighty-thousand. I almost cried. And you guys are so supportive and nice AND I want to thank everyone that's reading, voting, and commenting. It really means the world to me! Y'all don't even know how happy Wattpad makes me. I LOVE EACH OF YOU!
^I say this in every update but it's so true!
ANYWAY I WILL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT!!! BYEEEE!!!