I suddenly find my fiddling fingers to be very interesting. I keep looking at them without uttering a word to answer Ved's question.
"So...uh— you um, you like me...?"
I replay his words in my head.
Do I like him?
Letting out a long exhale, I speak out the truth, "I don't know."
I slowly lift my head to find him staring into distance.
After a few seconds, he turns back to me and asks, "What does that mean?"
"It means exactly what it means." I reply.
"Care to explain?"
Looks like he isn't going to drop this topic.
"Not now please. I still have to sort it out before jumping to conclusions." I get up and walk back to the desk, taking a seat.
He nods in understanding and thankfully gets back to explaining physics.
To say that things became awkward would be an understatement. But nevertheless, he did his part perfectly and taught me well.
After an uncomfortable goodbye, I have dinner and get back to one of my longtime loves.
The recap of the previous episode is shown with the theme Carry On My Wayward Son playing in the background as soon as I continue with SUPERNATURAL.
Which means...it's the last episode of the season.
Sweet.
One more season down.
I lost track after the 3rd episode as my eyelids get heavy—another one of my longtime lover fighting for dominance—and finally they close, pulling me into an endless vortex of unconsciousness.
I wake up to my mom gently patting my shoulders.
"Hey, why don't you get to bed? You'll get cramps if you sleep like this." I hear my mom's distant voice.
Still sleepy, I slightly raise my head and observe my position.
My head is resting on the armrest, my neck bent in an odd way, one of my hands and legs are hanging down the couch, the other hand beside my head and the other leg thrown over the back of the couch.
All in all, it was preposterous.
Actually my entire flexibility can be seen when I sleep.
Maybe I could win gymnastics events in my sleep.
Sitting up, I rub my sore neck and my hands come in contact with something sticky on my cheeks.
Great. So, I drooled today.
Drooling while sleeping is not that much of a problem for me as it happens rarely, but I must've slept like the dead this time since I had drooled.
I get off of the couch still a bit sleepy and walk to my bedroom with half-closed eyes and my hands in front of me to make sure I don't bump into anything.
Maybe this is what they call as 'The Walking Dead'.
I throw my room door open and don't bother closing it as I face plant onto the bed and the last thing I see before I pass out is my mobile phone lighting up with a notification that said;
Ved:
'Night Vicky.
***
The only thing that makes me wake up everyday morning is my alarm's ringtone.
Ride is one of my favorite TØP songs and though I'm irritated for being separated from my lover—sleep—it makes me feel good like I always do whenever I listen to it.
But, let me tell you, it gets really ugly when you—in your sleepy state—dismiss your alarm instead of snoozing and you get late.
Taking one of the quickest showers of my life, I get dressed and run down, grab the toasts in my mom's hand, shove them into my mouth—yeah, my mouth is kinda elastic when it comes to eating—and run with my bag after packing it.
I see Ved getting in the bus after Maya.
Hurriedly getting in, I scan around the bus and guess what?
I had to stand.
Letting out a sigh, I walk and stand by Maya's seat that was in front of Ved's, holding on to the grab-handle after offering both of them a smile.
"How's that guy of yours?" I lean in and ask Maya, about the boy who she said she keeps staring at when he isn't looking and who apparently stared back when she wasn't looking and they both follow each other around the school campus whenever they are out of their classes.
"Same old, I look at him but somehow he catches me." She replied sulkily.
"Uh-huh. What if he's not 'catching' you but 'staring back' at you?" I wiggle my brows eliciting a chuckle from her.
"One can only hope tha—" She was cut off by the bus coming to a sudden halt, jerking me very harshly that the grab-handle slipped out of my hands and I went stumbling, falling on something.
"Well, hello there." Ved says, smirking down at me on his lap. Looks like a someone.
Our bus driver's profanities being directed towards the other vehicle's driver could be heard around the bus as I apologized to Ved.
"S— sorry, I just didn't—"
I stop abruptly as he hooks his arms around me, pulling me into a more comfortable posture towards him, brings his face dangerously close to mine and whispers, "I know you didn't mean for it to happen, but I'm not complaining."
He gives a kiss on my cheek before pulling away but does not let go of me.
What did he mean by 'not complaining'? And what's with the kiss?
I gesture at his hands around mine, telling him to let go, but he just rolls his eyes in response, pulls me even closer—if that was possible—and holds me tighter, making it impossible for me to squirm away.
I'm glad that this bus was full of talkative people for this moment because no one seems to notice that I was sitting on Ved's lap and I'm also pretty sure my face looks like a tomato from how lowkey embarrassed I feel right now.
All the way, I keep looking out of the window, occasionally peeking at the guy sitting beside Ved who slept like he was beaten up and I notice Ved rubbing circles on my arms absentmindedly now and then.
As the bus slows down while nearing our school, through the window, I see other route buses arriving and the one which parks near our bus was Nikhil's.
What scares me is the look the boy sitting beside one of the window seats keeps throwing at the boy whose lap I am sitting on.
I push myself away from Ved rather harshly and walk out of the bus—wondering how the boy beside Ved still hadn't woken up— but make sure to grab Maya and walk with her before one of the boys caught up to me.
I look over my shoulder to see Ved already walking towards his building but my eyes fall on Nikhil's, which never wavers from mine, and I speed up hastily, bidding Maya a quick goodbye.
I keep looking back frequently to make sure Nikhil does not gain up on me and fortunately he doesn't.
I know that it was because he purposely walked calmly because I very well know that if he thought of catching up to me, he would in no time.
I rush into my classroom and place my bag on my bench before looking at the entrance of the classroom one last time to see him passing through, but catches my eyes before getting out of my sight.
Yeesh!
I take out my water bottle do drink some water after all those rushing, but jump as a hand slams on the desk.
"Spill." Mia states sternly.
"Huh?"
"I said spill." She repeats slowly.
Confused, I oblige her words and tip my water bottle, spilling some water on the desk.
"This enough? Why did you want me to spill it though?" I ask her.
She looks at me as if I had grown two—no, a hundred heads.
"I told you to 'spill' as in 'spill the beans', 'spill the secret'. Not 'spill the water'!" She exclaims.
My mouth forms into an 'O' as I look up at her with realization.
I take out a spare paper towel in my bag and place it on the tiny water puddle on the desk.
"Spill the secret about what?" I ask her, acting clueless.
Sighing in frustration she continues, "You and Nikhil are metaphorically attached at the hips, Ved changes school and comes here, months pass by and bam! You and Nikhil avoid— no no no. You avoid Nikhil like the plague."
I gesture her to sit beside me and tell her about my past feelings for Ved, him catching one of my lovey-dovey doodles, the stupid stunt he pulled in the bus, my present feelings for Nikhil and the kiss.
Yes, I talked to her about it. Shocker, I know, but like I said, I have loosened up to Mia.
It's been a week or two since that kiss but even now whenever I think about it, I can still feel his soft lips against mine, the warmth, the sparks...
I bite my lips to stop the wide smile threatening to grow at the thought of the kiss.
"Someone's falling hard. Girl, you're whipped." She sing songs, making me groan.
"Not helping Mia."
"Okay, okay. But if you ask me, you should talk to him—"
"Yeah and that worked out so well last time." I interrupt her in between, referring to the 'talk' Nikhil and I had in the janitor's closet.
"—about, if not everything, at least, the kiss and your feelings." She continued, ignoring my comment.
"That's pretty much everything." I state matter-of-factly.
"Whatever. But you get my point." She dismisses nonchalantly.
"Fine, but how do I start. Do I like, walk up to him and say 'Hey Nikki! Like you know, I had a crush on Ved. But now I doubt my feelings for him and I like you now'?" I ask sarcastically.
"Well, that's straightforward but it's even better." She shrugs.
I swear this girl's nonchalance is too much.
I glare at her for her reaction and thwack her head.
"Ow!" She winces, rubbing her head and continues with a scowl, "Look, just go, talk it out, tell him how you feel about him and let the rest happen."
"What if he really thinks I'm pathetic? What if he doesn't like me back? What if that kiss meant nothing? What if I'm not even sure about my feelings?" I rant.
Grabbing my shoulder firmly, Mia looks at me in the eyes and asks, "Do you feel your heart racing when he is around or touches you? Do you like him talking about that mystery girl? Do you feel sparks and tingles with him?"
"Yes, no and yes."
"Do you feel the same way about Ved?"
"No...but I used to—"
"I didn't ask about 'used to'. I'm talking about the present."
"....No."
"Good. You passed the 'like' test and yes, you indeed like Nikhil and you just have some feelings for Ved but not as much as you do for Nikhil. So you are going to talk to Nikhil." She talks like a drill sergeant.
Now that I think of it, it is true. I do feel something for Ved, but nothing remotely close to what I feel for Nikhil.
I find comfort in Ved but how homely Nikhil makes me feel beats it all.
This just confuses me even more.
But for now, one step at a time.
"Okay? Whatever it takes!" She continues, patting my shoulders as she snaps me out of my thoughts.
A bit motivated, I say, "Yes, whatever it takes."
"Now that's my girl! Great, you got this!" She says patting my cheeks.
Finally feeling confident, I smile with determination, squaring my shoulders.
"I got this."
A/N: Thoughts? Vote and comment, please and thank you!