Chapter 17: I'll catch you. I promise.
"No way!" The book thrown by me slammed against the wall and fell down; it had hit just a few inches away from Caeles' furious face as he stood by my door. "Caeles, you!"
He hadn't even flinched because he knew it wouldn't hit him anyway. It increased my frustration.
"I will not! I am not coming!"
I'd rather touch those Ruila leaves again!
...Okay, that's not true.
"Do you think I want to be here?" he snarled, but didn't set foot into my room; after all, it would be bad etiquette.
"Don't you have a mouth, you piece of shit?" I glared at him, but I already knew that he'd never deny any orders from his father. I knew from the book that he had a bit of a complex when it came to pleasing his father as Cassian had always been the heir apparent. Caeles in no way wanted to be the duke, but it affected him nonetheless.
"I do, and I'd bite your head off with it if I could!"
I grunted at his words and threw another book at him to get him to leave and he finally snapped.
"As much as I hate touching you, I will be left with no choice but to drag you over my shoulder-"
"Ahem. Lady Eleonora, if I may." An old man who resembled the typical proper butler from the movies interrupted Caeles before he got carried away with his threats. It was a pity in a way because I had a good comeback up my sleeve. "The Duke has requested that you prepare for the dance in the upcoming ball, as you shall be partaking in it with young master Cassian."
I crossed my arms as Caeles and I continued to glare at each other as Mr. Butler talked.
"The duke wishes for it to go well, so he has sent the best of the dance mistresses, as well as young master Caeles to help you practice, as young master Cassian is busy this day."
So that was the story. The duke was basically saying 'My son's image depends on this so don't mess up.'
I finally looked away from the golden-haired boy and let out a sigh. Does the duke really think that the bad blood between Caeles and me would disappear with just a few moments spent together? What a typical adult, refusing to see the problem as it is and waving it away just because we're young. This is a serious hatred we have going, old man!
After grumbling in my mind, I nodded and the butler gave a sigh of relief. Caeles rolled his eyes before turning around and walking off to the room we would use for practice.
Apparently, Caeles was lounging around at home when the Duke saw him and caught him by the back of his neck like a little kitten and said, 'This is a good opportunity!' and threw him in a carriage towards me. He even sent his trusted butler to make sure Caeles and I actually do practice. What a scary man.
Needless to say, the practice was hellish. Caeles refused to look at me with anything but a grimace and acted like touching me was a sin. I hadn't expected anything less, so I didn't really care. The dance mistress was scary as well. I could see the veins on her neck popping out whenever we messed up.
Another mistake. Caeles sighed in frustration and I did the same. We both glared at each other.
"Can't you do it properly?" He snapped.
"Are your hands that weak that you can barely hold on?" I snapped back.
We heard the butler let out another sigh from the side of the room where he stood. The only maid who's been nice to me, Lily also looked worried as she watched us.
Although I blamed him, I was barely catching onto the choreography. I kept forgetting the steps and moving along in tune with another person was harder than I thought. This dancing looked so majestic and romantic in movies... Who knew it was actually this difficult...?
"Once more!" The dance mistress called out to us and we obediently got into position again. My hand on his shoulder, as his fingers barely touched my waist. Our palms were placed against each other's with just an inch of a space between them. Caeles' face got into position as well, with that disgusted grimace of his. I tried to mimic it but decided it was too tiring and just slightly furrowed my brows with distaste.
One, two, three.
I echoed the dance mistress' voice in my head as I moved my feet. I was trying; I really was, but what a mess. Somewhere in these moments, I decided that this body of mine once again just wasn't made for dancing. I heard Caeles 'tch' and my frown deepened. Alright, ignore him and now just move my left foot along-
"Gah!" I let out a sound as my feet caught onto my dress and I tripped forward, right towards Caeles.
However...
Smack!
I landed onto the ground violently. I heard gasps around the room and felt pain on my palms, elbows and...
"Shit...!" I winced as I felt a sharp ache in my ankle when I tried to move my foot. My eyes looked up to see Caeles standing there with his mouth gaping at me. And is that guilt I see?
I narrowed my eyes angrily at him. Well, it's too late for guilt!
"You let me fall!" I spoke to him with gritted teeth and it brought him back to his senses. He too narrowed his eyes at me.
"You shouldn't have tripped then."
"Did I want to? You could have caught me but you moved away! What kind of a person are you?"
I saw him wince at my words and felt slight swirls of petty satisfaction forming in my chest. Good.
"I shall be back with a healer and healing stones. Young Master Caeles, please carry her to the couch." The butler said politely and with a sense of urgency. After seeing Caeles nod, he quickly took out and threw a teleportation bead to the ground and promptly disappeared. Caeles bent down towards me with his hands extended and I slapped them away. He clicked his tongue and crouched beside me, as if an adult who had given up with a child throwing a tantrum. It kinda pissed me off even more.
I watched him as he was silent for a moment before he looked into my eyes. "I... it was my fault for letting you fall." I raised my eyebrows. What's this? Is he apologizing? Even with that pride of his?
I refused to give in and seeing my glare, Caeles added more words.
"I promise I will always catch you from now on, so please let me carry you to the couch. You shouldn't be on the floor like this, or my father..."
I rolled my eyes when he mentioned his dad but then pursed my lips. "Do you swear?"
"What?"
"Do you swear to always catch me from now on? If you let me fall again-"
"Yes, I swear to always catch you and never let you fall. Now can you just let me carry you?" He looked like he couldn't wait to stop talking to me and I nodded, satisfied.
The thing about leads in books is that they always keep their promises. As they are the perfect people that this world moves for, they will always manage to do what they swear. I felt lighter knowing that at least I won't have to fall again when Caeles is being my partner.
I opened my arms and Caeles scrunched up his nose before placing his shoulder under my arm and lifting me up. I hissed, wincing in pain when my foot moved and Caeles froze.
Then he sighed. "This won't do. Hang on." He slid an arm under my knees, making me jump, and his other arm went down to the middle of my back, and before I knew it, I was in a princess carry.
"Wh-what are you..." I brought my hand to my lips in surprise and he just sighed through his nose. The future Commander of the Knights of Sorin carried me as if I was as light as a feather. As soon as he laid me on the couch, I sat up, feeling awkward and shy, and just in time, the butler arrived with a woman in tow, carrying what seemed to be a bag of healing stones.
That was quick... as expected of a servant from the Arcturus House.
The healer examined my foot as Caeles sat on a loveseat adjacent to my couch; he seemed to be anxiously watching what was happening. I hid the smile threatening to break out on my lips even as my foot ached.
This was the Caeles from the book...
I hadn't gotten to see this him at all because I was someone he despised, but look... even then how he worries about me being in pain... because the boy feels guilty he couldn't help me. Yes, this is the boy I had come to love in the book...
Our eyes met and I turned away to look back at the woman bringing a healing stone to my foot as she held it in a particular position.
The heroine sure is lucky...
She gets to see Caeles' smiles and gets to feel his tenderness.
Meanwhile, I get his glares and grimaces. His disgust and sharp words.
Seriously, so unfair.
I sighed and Caeles winced, along with the healer.
"Are you in pain?" She asked me.
"It's getting better. Thank you very much."
I didn't fail to notice how surprised Caeles looked when I replied politely. Of course, he probably wasn't used to Nora being so timid. I shrugged at his gaze and he averted his eyes; instead choosing to focus on the interesting décor around the room.
Pfft, look how awkward he's feeling... I'm enjoying this a bit much.
Needless to say, practice couldn't continue any further and Caeles soon left with his team of people. My leg was in top condition after that round of healing.
So it was no trouble for me to decide to go out that night, back to the market.
I pulled the hood of my cloak farther down my face as I walked on the street filled with all sorts of stalls. I always get so excited when I come here because it feels like I'm in some sort of movie set or a theme park.
I'm going to sell some more gems and buy lots of snacks!
My plan brought an anticipating smile to my face and I fastened my pace.
After getting some money, I went through various food stalls and my hands kept filling up with pouches and little boxes. It was heavy, but the thought of eating it all when I get home kept me going.
"Miss, why don't you try some of our chicken skewers?"
"Miss, our biscuits are the best!"
"Miss, our..."
Wow, look how loved I am! As expected, money really is the best!
Happily, I tasted all sorts of exquisite food samples that were handed to me by hopeful sellers, when a cold night breeze made me shudder. A stall worker saw this and smiled.
"Why don't you come through this way to our little restaurant? We'll get you something warm to drink, on us!"
I almost went teary-eyed at his kindness. When was I treated this nicely? At that moment, I really made up my mind to try my best to earn some money so I could spend it well.
I nodded at him and followed along as he went behind the stall, towards an alley between buildings. By the time I realized it was too dark, and too sketchy, it was already too late. A hand from behind me had covered my mouth and nose with a drugged cloth and the last thing I saw was the man grinning at me.
"...Yes... noble..."
I heard voices before I could open my eyes.
"Don't know... sell her."
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Where the fuck am I?
"Ask her when she wakes up. She doesn't look too high ranking, so there wouldn't be too much hassle over her."
There were a few more exchanges and laughter. I peeked to see that I was in a dark room, in what looked to be a single room cabin or a hut. There was a barred window next to me and I could see trees outside. My hands and feet were tied together with ropes.
What the fuck is this?
I saw the man close the door and shut my eyes, pretending to sleep. There was a sound of a horse carriage leaving outside. I could hear the man walking towards me, and my chest began to hurt with the heavy beating of my heart. He stopped in front of me and nudged my leg with his foot.
"Hey, are you up yet?" It was the voice of a stranger man in his thirties.
And it was fucking scary.
I held back the whimper that was threatening to fall out my lips and continued to fake unconsciousness. He let out a sigh and moved back. Fearfully, I opened my eye slightly.
He walked towards the middle of the wooden cabin where a pillar was supporting the roof. He pushed a stool by it and used it as back support as he sat, facing me. I shut my eyes again and felt my throat hurting. I wanted to cry. What the fuck is going on?
I've been kidnapped. This wasn't ever mentioned in the book, so why? How could this happen?
My brain was in chaos along with my heart. I could feel my hands shaking- no; my entire body was shaking right now.
If this wasn't mentioned in the book...
Then I wasn't rescued... which means...
No male lead is coming to save me.
My breathing was getting heavier and I tried to calm it, fearing that the man would hear me.
Why is this happening? How do I get out of here? Am I going to be sold?
All sorts of worst-case scenarios kept popping into my head. Kidnappings are common in romance novels, as the male lead needs to be hero and save the heroine.
But I am not a heroine.
Am I going to die? Or..
Worse than death?
I need to get out. I need to figure something out. I need to save myself.
I peeked at him once again. He now had his arms crossed on his chest, his head leaning against the pillar with his eyes closed.
I used the moment to look around me. It seemed that we were in a lone cabin surrounded by trees. I couldn't hear the sounds of any people or horses nearby. I looked at myself. There were two ropes used to separately tie my hands and feet. I was on the ground; there were no tiles or wood covering the ground in this cabin, it was just dirt. This calmed me a little.
Because there is a chance.
There is a chance. I can escape.
I was surprised at how calm my mind had suddenly become. I could think a little clearly once I saw that ray of hope. That was...
I thought back to when I had first arrived in this world with memory loss. Cassian had one day sent a woman to my estate to give me basic lessons of things nobles need to know. It was a lifeline to the me who knew nothing about this world.
And it was a lifeline to me right now.
'Nobles have spells cast onto their bodies to help during emergencies. Unless your restraint has the official symbolic mana of a Commander, a count or a higher noble, it can be broken by this spell.'
I waited until I heard the man's breathing got deeper and then looked at my limbs. I whispered the incantation.
"Renodo."
Unbind.
The ropes quietly came undone. But I wasn't calm yet. The man moved in his sleep and I froze. I thought back to all the plants Risor had told me about.
There was one that could put a person to sleep when inhaled, but I had only read about it because it wasn't in the garden. I thought harder.
How can I stop him?
I can't be caught. I can't just give up. I knew that I couldn't up and run because I would be caught in no time, and I also didn't know where I was. My pouch of teleportation beads had also been taken from me. I have to think. Think. Come on. I can't die here.
"Do you want to die?"
My eyes widened.
That plant... can I do it?
I had practiced everything to be able to get it into the shape I want. Every day for months. It wasn't perfect but...
It's enough.
I closed my eyes and breathed in.
Strong and quiet.
That's how plants grow. These motherfuckers can even shine green through concrete.
They grow from deep beneath the ground and head to the sky. Slowly, but surely.
Slowly and strongly.
I opened my eyes and focused on the man. His feet that were on the ground, and his body that was by the pillar.
A shaky breath and shaky hands. I reached them out and held my open palms towards the sleeping man.
Ara roses.
'Why do you need them so much?'
'I decided that this time, I am going to survive, no matter what.'
No matter what.
They were growing. The long and thick stems of dark green, with huge thorns big enough to be tiny daggers were slowly growing from the dirt. I narrowed my eyes to focus harder. They twisted around the man's legs. Small circles, until they kept going up and getting bigger. They continued to circle the man and wrap around him like snakes, until he was tied to the pillar. There was space between him and the plants, so they were not touching.
It won't hold.
My heart was beating hard from the precise usage of power. I had never grown them this much and this tall before. It was because my power ability was very weak. After all, the very reason I even had it was to make my death a dramatic scene. These powers were never used and so my elemental strength was extremely weak. Just this much had made it hard for me to breathe.
I frowned. It's not going to be able to hold him at all. At most, it will pierce and scratch him, but he'll over-power it in no time. It was at that moment-
"Huh?" He moved and a leaf by his hand touched him. My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat. He's awake!
My hand was still hanging in the air, pointing towards the man. He looked down at himself and then his eyes snapped towards me. A whimper left my lips as our eyes met and his glared at me.
"What the fuck do you think-"
I quickly fisted my open hand and the plants that were wrapped around him tightened against him. He let out a sound as the thorns of the plant that I could grow up to his shoulders pierced through his skin and blood began to stain his clothes.
Need more!
I quickly grew and wrapped more stems around him, but they of course couldn't hold. I had begun to feel dizzy as I was already overusing my powers. Unable to breathe, I let out a cough and tasted metal in my mouth. It was blood.
I need to do something else...!
The man was struggling to stand and one of his hands ripped apart a stem, making me tremble.
I opened my palm towards the ground near me and this time grew a different plant.
It was the most poisonous plant that I knew.
Red tinted leaves with sharp edges made their way from the dirt but I couldn't help but frown. My vision had become heavy and I was panting. I kept tasting blood in my mouth, and kept having to cough. The Ruila leaves were barely big enough.
I tried to tear a piece of my dress, but I was too weak. I couldn't grow another plant to use its leaves as a glove either. The man tore off another stem full of thorns and I stopped thinking.
I stood up and grabbed the plant, ripping it off with its roots and rushed forward. My fingers immediately began to sizzle with their poison but I couldn't care to think about their condition. The man's eyes widened as I ran towards him with my bleeding hand.
If I bring it to his eyes, it can blind him.
Is that enough? Will he leave me alone if I do that? Another thought filled my mind.
If I bring it to his lips, it can kill him.
His face was now in front of me.
His eyes or his lips?
Can I kill a person?
My eyes were wild with fear and adrenaline. I felt like I could do anything. Should I kill him? I am a bad villain anyway.
I had long stopped feeling the effects of the Ruila leaves even as the skin on my fingers rotted; I clenched my fingers tighter around the poison flowers and made my choice.
Doing something like this... the heroine is lucky she never has to. She's always protected.
With a growl, I pressed my bleeding hand full of leaves against the man's eyes. He let out a strangled scream and I continued to press it harder even as his hands grabbed mine.
"Agh, please...!"
More rose stems grew and wrapped themselves around his hands, piercing and pulling them away. My vision went dim and blurry; I couldn't see the man's face anymore. Tears were streaming down my face; or maybe it was just sweat.
Suddenly, the man went limp. I waited a little and then slowly brought back my hand. He was still breathing.
I finally let out a breath. It was full of relief and pain. I stumbled away from the man and looked around one more time. There was a little table in the corner of the room; it was my pouch of teleportation beads. My heart beating painfully against my ribcage, I ran towards it.
They're still here...!
I sighed in relief and took one out with my shaking hand. I threw it to the ground and only spared a last glance at the man right before I vanished.
His head was dropping as he sat on a stool, pressed against the wooden pillar in the middle of the room, his chin on his chest as rose leaves and red thorns were wrapped around him, piercing him and drawing red blood. The only source of light was the full moon outside the window. A single vivid red rose was by the foot of his chair. It looks like a hauntingly beautiful painting.
I teleported to my hideout. I fell to my knees and reached out to the ground. I picked up the few leaves I had managed to grow and pressed them together with almost no strength and quickly applied them to my wounds. It was then I noticed something and began to tremble for another reason.
There was a long gash on the back of my hand. Forgotten words from the book flowed into my mind.
"How did this happen, Lord Cassian?" Aurelia gently caressed the scar on the back of Cassian's hand. He frowned looking at it, as if remembering a distant bad memory.
"Lady Eleonora and I... we were careless and ended up getting injured. His words made Aurelia frown as an ache overcame her heart. She placed her fingers on his scar and then looked into his eyes.
"I'll make it disappear."
Cassian remembered the memory of Nora laughing even though she was in tears due to the pain. 'Now we have another mark together, Cassian!'
He felt a warmth spread gently through his skin. When he looked down, the back of his hand was clear, as if a mark never existed.
"What the fuck?" I muttered, my eyes not leaving the bleeding cut. I remembered the words I saw that day in the library.
'What is meant to be will always find a way.'
"The fuck?" A laugh bubbled its way out my throat. "What the fuck are you saying?" I laughed like a maniac and looked up at the sky. "Are you fucking crazy? What is this? You ugly bitch!" I kept cussing out loud, cursing this book world.
"I stayed away from him, didn't I? Then what is this?!" I stood up and stumbled, but I snapped my head up and glared at the sky again. "Are you telling me I don't have a chance?"
I spent my last life wanting to die and now that I've decided to survive, this fucking world is after me? This fucking disgusting little book?
"How dare you?" I growled. "How dare you do this to people? Why should I die? Hey, why the fuck should I die?!" Just so the heroine can shine? I should die for that bitch? And these fucking male leads... oh I'm so fucking tired of it all! I growled and kicked at the ground. And then I looked back up at the sky.
"I won't die such a pathetic death." I spoke, glaring. "I won't die, you heard that? I will get stronger!" I spit these words out and took another teleportation bead. I went back to my room.
"Nora! Where were you?!" The carnations screeched out at me as soon as I appeared.
"Hell," I muttered as I walked towards my desk and held up a pen.
'What are these?'
'Communication papers. Anytime you write something on one page, the same appears on the other set, regardless of the distance.'
My hands were still shaking. The remedy paste and blood smudged my words, but I knew that only my words would appear on Cassian's set.
"Healing stones. Lots of them. Please send them to me as soon as you can."
My writing was terrible but readable. I couldn't care anymore about it at the moment.
The next morning, a maid knocked on my door and left a box full of high-quality healing stones on my table. I spent the whole day in my room. The wound at the back of my hand couldn't completely disappear, no matter how many stones I used.
The day after that, Lily suggested I drink tea outside to freshen up as I was looking very weak. She didn't know about what had happened; nobody did and it needed to be kept that way. Rumours tainting my name, and noble attention were the last thing I needed right now.
"What a scary world, Lady Eleonora," Lily said as she handed me my teacup and stood by me. We were currently in the garden, and I looked up curiously at her. Seeing that she had my attention, she continued.
"A man was found dead in a little house in the Erev Woods last night."
My hand froze.
"They say his arms and legs were cut into pieces."
"What?"
"Yes! They were completely minced! What a scary world indeed."
"...Was there anything around him?"
She tilted her head, eyeing me with confusion.
I quickly added, "Was there anything around him to know who did this, or why...?"
"No, I haven't heard such a thing. The entire room was bare, but the man's face was full of marks. They say he was tortured! That's why it's scarier!"
...It wasn't me. I hadn't killed the man. But... the proof of my attack wasn't there? I asked because I was worried they'd trace it to me but... how could that be? How could my plants disappear? And...
Who killed him?
I brought my hand to my lips and Lily frowned at me, thinking I was afraid.
"Don't worry, Lady Eleonora. Such things won't happen here. We have House Sollea's knights protecting us."
I nodded my head and Lily turned to leave. I kept my hand by my lips.
It's because I was hiding my smile.
That bastard is dead...
I don't have to be scared anymore. I was spending all my time in my room because I was afraid. Afraid that one day he'd come back to get me.
But he's dead.
It filled me with relief.
I shook my head and sighed. I wanted to laugh at my thoughts. Or perhaps cry.
The heroine would have been terrified or felt awful about this news of the man's death. After all, a life was lost. But here I was... relieved at such morbid news.
Truly... I really must be a bad person. A villain.
Before I could think further, Risor appeared and smiled at me. We had tea together and he worried about me but I told him I was just tired.
"Say, Risor..." I spoke up and his golden eyes looked into mine, curiously.
"What do you... what do you think about killing someone for revenge?"
At my words, his eyes widened. He'd froze for a second but then he furrowed his brows. He quickly reached out towards me with the flower we had been using to communicate.
"Why are you asking such a thing?"
"No reason. It just popped into my head. It's an interesting question, isn't it?"
My reply made him bite his lip, as he continued to frown. Then he sighed and shook his head.
"We don't have the right to take anyone's life. We can't breathe life into a dead person, so we shouldn't be able to take away the life of a living person. Life is precious."
Ah...
See?
I truly am a terrible person.
"You're right... we don't have the right to kill a person, no matter what. Life is precious." I repeated his words to myself like a mantra. As if to cleanse myself from my thoughts.
If someone who's been through as much as Risor still believes it is wrong to kill for revenge, then how can I refute it?
Risor then smiled at me and changed the topic to something lighter. I was happy for the distraction. After tea, he left to go work and I continued to stay in the garden, not yet wanting to head to my room, nor wanting a lesson with plants just yet.
"What idealistic bullshit."
At the sound of his voice, my head snapped towards the tree beside me. On a branch, Rezel was laying; his hands gestured with his words and then fell limply, hanging down.
"An eye for an eye is the way. If you want to forgive someone, whatever. But I believe I have the right for an eye for an eye."
I listened to his words and then quietly replied. "An eye for an eye and the whole world will go blind."
Rezel snorted at this and his head lolled to the side to look at me.
"I'd rather go blind than live suffocating myself with these bastards."
I don't care if I burn as long as I take them with me.
I felt an aura of rage and hatred coming from the young boy above me. There was something swirling in my chest; an emotion I couldn't know. It was poking at my ribs.
I agree...
These bastards that don't know how to treat people; these bastards that ruin lives just for a bit of their own pleasure... does it make me a monster that I don't care if they live?
No... it's not just that.
If you don't know how to treat people...
Then just drop dead.
I shook my head when I realized my extreme thoughts. It scared me when the news of my kidnapper had made me smile with relief. It scared me that Risor couldn't accept my thoughts.
What would he do if he knew what I was thinking...?
I looked at the hand that was hanging in front of me and my gaze followed it to Rezel's face. He was looking up at the sky. I reached out and held the tips of his fingers. He looked at me from the corner of his eye.
"Teach me how to climb a tree."
I don't want to think anymore.
Rezel smirked down at me. "Alright and if you do well, I shall even reward you, storyteller."
I smiled. Yeah... I wanted a reward. No, I deserved one right now.
After all, I had managed to survive.
***
Note: Yes, this is still a romance novel.
Among other things.
I've been reading a book, and it's so nice cause at some point I realized that the writer really loves his protagonist, cause good things keep happening and he keeps getting lucky. It actually made me happy to read, because at some point it started feeling like the world itself was moving for that protagonist.
I want that for Nora too... I can't wait for her to just get strong already! I keep thinking, I could just make her mom or dad real strong, and give her amazing powers through her bloodline, or make her a chosen one but then my brain is just like no, no, no!
There's an order the story has to follow, and Nora needs to earn it all! Without the direct help of the world... That's actually so frustrating! I have so much planned for Nora when she gets strong but now she has to go through this... ugh. I also can't wait til I get to love my protagonist. That's when I'll make this world move for her.
She just needs to survive a bit more through this. And she will.