I woke up with the most painful headache ever. I started to sit up and immediately froze when I felt a hand on my skin.
I looked down and seen I was naked. You've got to be shitting me.
I better not have slept with Olivia of all people.
I looked over and saw Julia.
Okay.
I think that might be even worse than Olivia.
Everything came rushing back to me all at once.
"Fuck Kodi.. don't stop," Julia moaned and pushed my head further into her.
I face palmed.
"Shit," I moaned as she found the sensitive spot on my neck.
I groaned internally. I can't believe I did that. All because I was drunk and needed to forget about Ella. I can't believe I even made it through that. She better not have used fingers, thankfully. I sighed in relief at that.
I carefully placed Julia's arm on the bed as I slid out of bed, finding my clothes and got dressed.
I checked my phone and it was only seven in the morning. I got in my car and quickly texted Olivia.
What a bad idea. I fucked up.
I took the long way home as I needed to collect my thoughts.
I was definitely going to be calling Taylor. I needed to tell her about everything.
I groaned as I stopped at a red light and hit my head on the head rest.
Out of all people I could have slept with, it was with Julia. It would have been better to sleep with a random stranger than her.
I got home and texted Taylor.
I just made the worst mistake. Call me asap.
I breathed out, walking into Kaleb's room to see if he was awake.
I sighed in relief when I seen he was asleep and decided to take a shower.
As I took off my clothes and stepped in the shower I let the steamy water run over me.
I closed my eyes. It feels like I cheated on Ella, but we aren't even dating. I feel guilty and dirty and gross. I scrubbed my body hard to try and get the feeling off me.
Tears built up in my eyes. I swear Ella feels atleast a little bit of feelings for me. Unless Im just imagining it all. The hugs, kisses on the cheeks, holding my hand, hand on thigh, cuddling, all the teasing. I swear it's there.. but maybe she does that with everybody. What if I wasn't imagining it and I just ruined everything? I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.
Ella is the only one I want. Not Julia. Not any other girl. Just Ella.
I sighed, wrapping a towels around my body and stepping out of the shower.
I brushed my teeth and got dressed. The time shown and said it was 8:45.
Ella still hasn't texted me since yesterday. I don't know why. Because of our moment? Maybe I should text her first. Or should I give her space? You know what. Screw it.
I grabbed my phone and opened messages.
My thumb hovered over her name.
I finally clicked it.
Hey El! Haven't talked to you since yesterday. You doin okay?
I groaned as I hit send. Did that sound lame? I feel like I should've said something else. What if she ignores me? Maybe I could meet up with her and a few of our friends so she won't feel uncomfortable. I don't even know why I'm so worried. She doesn't know what I did with Julia as long as nobody tells her. Who would even know what we did. I'm only telling Olivia and Taylor.
I should be fine, right?
I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard Kaleb crying.
I got up, going into his room. I seen the red faced baby standing up, holding the bars on his crib while he wailed.
I picked him up, cradling him into me.
All my worries disappeared when I held Kaleb, but then they shot back up as he continued to cry. He never wailed this long. He usually quieted down.
I moved his head to the side and felt his forehead. He felt warm. I worried more.
He continued to cry as I carried him into the bathroom to get the thermometer.
101.7
I cringed. He was only ever sick one other time and he was around seven months then. Is it different to take care of a one year old than a seven month? Do I do different stuff? Am I allowed to give him medicine?
I called my mom and she told me I could give him a little bit of that liquid medicine but to mainly just give him attention and to sit in the bathroom with a hot shower running for steam.
I got him the liquid and poured a little before giving it to him.
There was still tears running down his little cheeks, he looked at it curiously and I encouraged him to drink it. To which he did and he started crying again.
I softened at him before getting him juice to rinse the nasty taste of it out of his mouth. I never liked taking that either.
I took him to my room and got under the covers with him while I turned the tv on.
He started sucking on his thumb which was become a habit recently. I leaned over to my nightstand and grabbed a binky for him.
We've been trying to get him to stop that, but there's times here and there where I will allow his binky.
He cuddled into my chest as I put on Paw Patrol which seems to be his favorite show recently.
I rubbed his back up and down and massaged his head.
I heard his sniffles slow and I knew he was falling asleep.
I got on snapchat and took a video of us, captioning it "Sick day for my boy🥺🤒💞" and posted it on my story.
My poor baby.
My phone dinged. I checked it and my heart started beating rapidly.
Sorry for not getting to you. Been with family. I'm good thank you. I hope Kaleb feels better :)
She seen my story already? Damn that was fast.
Thank you. I'm sorry for bothering. I thought you were mad at me.
Why would I be mad at you?
I bit my lip. What should I say.
I don't know. Something to do with yesterday I guess. Thought maybe I did something wrong.
I mean, half truth? I wasn't gonna come out and say I thought maybe she was mad and upset because we almost fucking kissed yesterday.
I sighed again as I moved Kaleb's hair out of his face. I need to get him a haircut. I kissed his head as he moved into my neck. I melted.
Ding
Again.
You didn't do anything wrong? What are you on about. We just made cookies yesterday.
Maybe I just imagined our moment? Maybe it was only five seconds but it just seemed and felt like minutes to me. I frowned.
Oh okay. Nvm then.
I set my phone down and sighed. I continued to watch Paw Patrol, but I ended up falling asleep. Much to my displeasure I jolted awake, breathing hard as I placed a hand over my heart. I closed my eyes slowly before opening them wide again. Where's Kaleb?
I looked around and sighed in relief as he was sitting at the end of the bed staring at the tv which now played the Bubble Guppies. I scooted up to him and he immediately cuddled into my side.
I took in his features, his cheeks were gaining back color. Maybe he just needed a nap and that medicine.
I took his temperature again and it was 99.1.
Atleast it went down a little bit.
He laid back down on me, looking at the tv.
I checked my phone and seen messages from Ella, Taylor, and Olivia. I checked Olivia's first.
Why the hell did I find Julia naked in my guest bedroom. You said you fucked up? Did you fucking have sex with her!?
I cringed and typed back. Dryly might I add.
Yup.
I checked Taylor's next.
Seen your story, don't want to wake Kaleb. Call me when you can. Hope he gets better!!
I didn't even bother to check Ella's. I called Taylor and she answered right away.
"What the hell Kodi? I've been worried. What did you do?" She questioned me right away.
"I'm sorry I worried you I just.. I can't believe what happened. And I really wish it didn't."
Kaleb looked up at me and patted his stomach. I smiled at him before picking him up and headed out of my room.
"Well what the hell did you do?" Taylor questioned.
"I may or may not have got drunk and slept with someone," I said really quickly. "I knew them don't worry, but it's still not good."
"Was it Ella!?"
I rolled my eyes and set Kaleb in his chair. "No it wasn't fucking Ella. I would be happy about that."
"Then who the fuck was it."
"Julia.." I mumbled but she heard me.
"Are you fucking serious Kodi? I think it would've been better if you fucked a stranger."
"I know dammit! I don't know what happened. I was drunk off my fucking mind and would you tone down with the cussing? You're on speaker."
"You literally just cussed a thousand times Kodi. Don't be a hypocrite." I rolled my eyes and gave Kaleb some yogurt just in case his throat hurt. "Why were you even getting drunk in the first place?" She questioned.
"I think Ella and I had a moment yesterday? And I was so confused and overthinking it so I asked Olivia to get drunk but she also invited Julia apparently and I didn't know till I got there and I wasn't going to ask her to leave and Olivia passed out and Julia was just there and it happened." I rambled as I fed Kaleb.
"You and Ella had moment?" She practically squealed. "What does that even mean. Did you kiss her!?" She yelled. I seen Kaleb furrow his brows at the volume.
"I did not kiss her."
"Well then what happened!?"
"We were baking cookies with Kane, but he decided to run away when he threw flour on me so I decided to go after Ella instead and I somehow ended up on top of her after she tripped and I swear to god we were about to kiss but then Kane ran back in."
She squealed again, "that just proves she likes you, you dumb bitch! I think you should just forget about this Julia thing. I mean maybe talk to her about it and how it was nothing but I think you should go after Ella!"
I rolled my eyes. "I'll talk to Julia about it eventually but I don't know if I should go over Ella. She ignored me till I texted her today and she just doesn't seem like it happened."
"Maybe she's just scared Kode, she could be confused. Do you remember how scared and confused you were when you started questioning? Maybe she just doesn't know what's happening. You could help her out if you know what I mean." She said in a suggestive tone. I could practically see her winking at me through the phone.
"How about this. We'll just see what happens okay? I'm sorry, I just needed to talk to somebody about that. Like of all people it was fucking Julia."
"Yeah it would have been better if you did it with Olivia." I chuckled. I said that exact same thing. "Just talk to Julia, Kodi. Maybe lay off for a few days and see what happens. She should know that if you're ignoring her then obviously you didn't want that. Or just text her so you won't have to see her in person. Just tell her how it was a mistake and you only think of her as a friend. Let her down gently."
"Okay.. Thank Taylor. I love and miss you fool."
"I love and miss you too bitch. I can't wait to see you. Give Kaleb my love for me will you? Bye love!" I smiled as she hung up.
I looked at Kaleb as he finished the yogurt and he gave me a yogurt filled smile. I laughed at him before wiping him down.
"You feel better buddy?" He nodded and reached his hands towards me.
"Such a momma's boy," I heard from behind me. I turned around and mom smiled at me. "Hey babygirl."
"Hey momma," I smiled. "Why are you home?"
"Well I only have two meetings today and they don't start till 12:30 so I decided to sleep in today, I'll be heading out soon so have a good day."
I kissed her cheek and headed back upstairs.
I decided to text Julia once I sat Kaleb down.
Hey, no hard feelings or anything but last night was a mistake and I'm sorry it happened. I don't think we should speak for a little bit. I'm sorry
Is that too harsh?
I shrugged and pushed send before checking Ella's message.
You okay? We can hang out in a couple days when Kaleb is feeling better. Me, you, Brittany, Olivia, and Quinn?
My heart felt heavy when I seen all the other names. I just wanted it to be me and her. Oh well I guess. I texted back, Sounds like a plan.
I sighed as I laid down, wrapping my arm around Kaleb and closing my eyes. Next few days is gonna be something else.
———
Word Count: 2298