The two and a half months that was our summer vacation had gone by in a flash. One day it was midway through June and the next it was almost September.
Despite Andrews absence, I managed to enjoy the few months of freedom I had left. Staying out late, bike riding to the beach, state fairs.
Things like that. All things I wished deep down, I could've done with my boyfriend. The one that had gotten arrested. The reason? I have no idea. How did the police even find the weed in his car is my question?
I've known Andrew long enough to know that he's a very careful person in almost everything he does. From driving to dealing, I don't know about this personally but even when he would sleep around.
I mean he didn't get any of the girls pregnant.
It was all such a huge mystery to me.
Anyways like I had said before, the summer was clearly over. By the time back to school commercials and school supplies were released that was pretty much it. Adios summer, hola hell.
We all know what that means. School is back in session. Ugh, one of my most hated places on earth is where I spend more than half of my life. The worst part was that I'd be going through another year of this high school thing on my own.
Yeah, I mean sure I definitely have my friends but I mean something completely different. For the millionth time I'm missing Andrew. Like.. badly.
I know I know, you have better things to do than to listen to me mope around and complain about my problems. I mean, wouldn't you miss the one person you long to see? The one person you ache to be with every moment of every day?
Love changes people. Wow, now I'm starting to sound like my mom. Congratulations, you were right about that.
I won't bore you with every sappy detail of how my third year of highschool went. It was nothing special, other than the usual particularly dull classes and mountains of homework.
Well, that's homework and assignments that I don't ever do. By choice I choose to slack off. This year a tad bit more than usual.
If you thought I was horrible at keeping up with my work before, you'd actually hysterically laugh at me once you saw how much less I've been doing. If that was even possible. Don't get me wrong, my parents prioritize school and everything so I have to keep my grades up, but it's not really something I constantly worry about.
We both know that I never do my own work. Never have, and probably never will. Mara has been a huge help in the past and continues to do me a huge service. Mara I love you.
All of this year has been going by slow. Every guy that I found attractive in the past, had dulled in my view. Everyone that I'd used to talk to had drifted away from me in result of my lack of socialization.
A few waves and greetings but nothing more. I never initiated with anyone I hadn't been extremely close with. I didn't make an effort to make new friends or to put some time into my grades. Ha we all know that story very well.
Josh was still off someplace, swinging his hockey stick. Probably off having a good time with his retarded team. That was one of the many good things that have happened.
Him staying far far away from here was the highlight of my year. Not having to deal with that abusive asswipe has been a huge relief. Not seeing him in the halls, laughing with his friends lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.
That's a problem that has finally been dealt with. Praise the lord!
I personally think that he was in such a rush to get out of here, once he found out about Tasha's pregnancy. Josh had found out from someone else, and didn't seem too interested.
I heard that Tasha wanted to raise the kid on her own. I'm actually surprised she's keeping it. I would've expected her to abort it, but I mean it was a shock to us all.
I never took her to be the caring mother type. I doubted that she'd end up going through with it but I guess I was wrong.
She was determined to raise this child all on her own completely disregarding the fact that Josh was also the parent. He didn't want any part of it from what it seemed anyhow.
He was quick to hop onto that plane to Canada or Russia or wherever the hell he was going. Josh refused to take on any kind of responsibility, using the excuse "I have hockey."
Talk about taking responsibility am I right? Yeah that's what I thought..
That's not all though. There was more to this twisted story. Besides the pregnancy and the whole josh leaving, there's more that had happened before she had gone into labor.
Ever since Andrew told Tasha off, it had upset her so deeply that from what I heard, she began self-harming. I honestly think she did it for attention since she had repeatedly posted graphic photos of it on her Instagram page.
I mean I don't get why she had to turn such a serious issue into a 'tool' to get everyone's attention. I don't know what she expects to come from this.
What does she think, that all of a sudden now that she deliberately hurts herself that Andrew will come crawling back to her? No disrespect to self -harm but it's not right to use that for attention.
It gets worse.
Someone had notified the school and the police had gotten involved. The entire school was fully aware of the whole freshman getting pregnant so there were more than a few health concerns. Considering that she had a 'bun in the oven' so to speak, and the fact that she had been cutting her wrists, had the school extremely concerned.
More for the baby's sake.
The principal had called the police and had her sent to a hospital. In a way I kind of felt bad for her, but I mean everything that has happened to her was the result of her own actions.
Maybe Tasha should have used that nonexistent brain of hers before getting knocked up then repeatedly rejected after she lied about the biological father.
I mean what did she expect? It's all such a huge mystery to me. I will never in my life even begin to understand how her brain works. Never.
Nonetheless, she had given birth to a little baby boy named Seth. He resembled both of his parents, inheriting both Tasha's eyes and hair color.
One look at Seth and you'd automatically know he belonged to Josh. They looked identical. Such a sweet little kid, being raised in the hands of the devil herself.
I personally feel for you Seth.
Before I knew it another year had passed me by, and then came summer once again. Oh how fast time goes by.
I yearned to see a particular dark eyed boy. I needed his touch, and the feeling of his lips against mine. I hadn't even thought of another guy. Andrew was the one I wanted.
The one I had committed to waiting for.
That feeling was one that I haven't felt in a very long time. The last time being in an interrogation room. I would never forget the devastation in his eyes, and the pounding of his heart against his muscular chest.
I would never forget how incredibly scared he looked, under his strong front. I could see that he had done his best to keep it together but unfortunately he let his guard down.
Andrew had let his emotions take control, and it'd be a day I'd never forget. That was the day he couldn't take that much more.
The day he had broken down in front of me. I didn't know how to handle that side of him. I was so used to situations being reversed that I never even thought he knew how to cry.
When you see guys like Andrew Hills, you expect that they are made of steal, completely emotionless.
But honey, that's where your wrong. Guys like him, have more emotions than three people put together. Sure they were extremely talented in hiding those feelings.. but they were there.
Cooped up inside was the ever-growing sadness he had felt. The guilt and anger for his brother and fathers' death. The grieving he felt for his mother. All of it.
Every emotion imaginable had been let loose that day. It was a part of him I thought he'd never let me see.
As summer came and went my mood had changed its' tone. From sadness, to happiness. It was like my subconscious was fully aware of what was coming. It had been almost a year and a few weeks since my guy had been arrested.
Do you know what that means?
Do you?
Yeah?
Well let me tell you anyways.
This means that he's being let out! I just couldn't believe that I had made it through the year. All those nights I cried myself to sleep unsure of what to do with myself, had led up to this moment.
The few moments before I'd see him again. Who knew when he would come back, if he even chose to. A lot could've happened in that year.
A part of me was terrified that he'd gotten over me, or worse.. blamed me. What if in all that time he had spent in that jail cell with all that free time to think, he had chose to resent me?
What if he blamed me for everything that has happened? Maybe the girl he claimed that he was in love with, had turned out to be the girl that ended up ruining his life?
I don't think I could ever forgive myself. I knew that deep down it was my fault that he had ended up in there. Everything comes back to me in some dark twisted way.
I'm just praying to god, that the one person that I've been missing for an entire year of my life, hasn't grown to hate me.
The thought alone kills me, from the inside out.