Harumi's POV
"Wh-what happened?" the Earth Ninja mumbled groggily to no one in particular. He sat up and brushed his shaggy black bangs out of his unfocused eyes, blinking hard several times before they settled on Ruby and me. Cole seemed to notice something in his mouth, chewed it, and swallowed.
"Oh hey," Cole said, his voice raspy.
I plastered on a smile. "Hey, glad you're awake." Not wanting him to turn around and see something he definitely did not want to see, I tried to keep his attention focused on me. "Are you feeling a bit better? After the trees attacked we went to find the source of the magic and we destroyed it, so the forest is safe to pass." I conveniently left out the "Morro attacked me" part so that Cole wouldn't turn to him. "Anyway, we gave you some healing teas."
He beamed. "Thanks." Cole began to turn around, but I quickly ran over.
"No, you shouldn't move too much, in case you open any wounds." That was a lie. He didn't have any, since Morro and I had checked any exposed skin thoroughly before heading off. I felt my heart thundering in my chest. Cole seemed to buy it though, and nodded. For the moment he was probably too confused to actually be checking the validity of my implied statement.
I racked my thoughts for anything to say, for Cole's attention seemed to shift focus again. He glanced at Jay lying next to him.
"Everyone's okay, right? Even Kai?" The Earth Ninja looked back up at me, his dark brown eyes full of concern.
"Why do you ask?" I said somewhat jokingly, my conscience forbidding me from lying.
His eyebrows were slightly creased. "Well, earlier, I think he was bleeding pretty badly. I got thrown in the air soon after so I'm not sure, but someone was definitely losing blood fast. Maybe I remembered wrong?" Cole asked the last part like a question, and from his tone of voice I could tell he wanted me to confirm it badly. I opened my mouth to say something, but was saved from having to answer when another voice joined in the conversation.
"Whowhatwherewhenwhy am I?" Jay said, still lying on the ground.
Cole laughed. "We're outside the cursed forest. It should be safe to pass through now."
"How long was I out?" Jay asked, "Is anyone else awake?"
"Just me, you, Harumi, and Ruby," he answered.
Jay sat up, and to my dismay, he was facing the opposite direction of which Cole was facing. "Oh, Morro's awake too. Hey, Windbag!"
I noticed Morro tense a bit. My expression didn't change, but inside I was panicking.
"Oh, really?" Cole asked, "Also, didn't I come up with the name Windbag for you?"
"Suits him better," Jay said and jumped up before I could protest. Then he ran over to the Master of Wind. My heart plummeted.
"Hey, did you not hear me?" the Lightning Ninja asked, sending a punch in Morro's backside. "Ha! Kai looks so stupid!" I assumed he was referring to my blue sweatshirt tied around his chest.
The Master of Wind remained hunched over, his body shaking. The knot in my stomach twisted even tighter as Cole stood up and made his way over.
"Why does he look so pale?" the Earth Ninja whispered after a moment.
Ruby squeezed my hand, but I could barely feel it since my entire body was numbing. I saw Cole crouch beside the Fire Ninja and Morro burying his face in his hands.
"He's not breathing," Cole said, mostly to himself, though he was still loud enough for me to hear him.
"Okay, Kai, we know you're awake, now please stop scaring us," Jay said, crossing his arms around his chest.
"Hello, everyone. What has happened?" Zane's voice joined in.
"Zane, come over here for a second," Cole said, and the Ice Ninja complied, albeit looking slightly confused. He crouched down next to Cole and pressed his fingers to Kai's neck. Then he lifted the sweatshirt up a little and gasped.
"N-no, this c-can't be," Zane stammered, standing up, "He... he's... gone." The last part was barely a whisper, but I could still hear it loud and clear.
Cole and Jay visibly paled, and all three pairs of eyes turned to Morro, who nodded. I hugged my knees, hoping they'd forgotten my existence.
"No," the Master of Lightning said stubbornly, narrowing his eyes, "No." He stuck his fingers in his ears and began pacing, and as much as he tried to appear calm, his chest rose and fell rapidly. "Stop stop stop stop stop this is just some stupid prank... hehe... Yeah no." Yet he was unable to hide the uncertainty in his voice that grew more prominent with every syllable.
"Zane, you're logical, you wouldn't pull pranks like this... please tell me this isn't real," Cole said with an awkward smile, glancing at Zane in a desperate attempt to convince himself that this was just a cruel joke. Morro didn't move.
The Ice Ninja fell to his knees, his face drained of all its color. I never would've thought it was possible for him to be even paler than he already was.
There was a long, seemingly never ending pause as the three Ninja digested this information. I sat stiffly in place, not daring to move or make a sound.
Then Jay burst into tears and buried his face into his best friend's shoulder. "KAI YOU IDIOT!" he bawled raspily, his fingers digging into Cole's t-shirt as if he was holding on to dear life. The Earth Ninja embraced him as tears streamed down his own eyes. Zane reached over to smooth out the Fire Ninja's hair, his face reddening as he began to cry as well. I rocked back and forth, and out of the corner of my eye, saw tears leaking out of Ruby's eyes. It seemed that Jay's wail woke Lloyd and Nya up, since the two began to stir.
Lloyd's eyes fluttered open, and upon noticing commotion, he pushed himself into a half-sitting position with his elbows. Nya got straight to her feet, though she wobbled a bit. The Water Ninja stumbled over to the cluster of crying boys, probably wondering what was going on. Everyone's eyes were automatically drawn to her, except for Lloyd's, as she slowly took in the scene. I pulled Ruby over to the others, feeling that we shouldn't sit out for the group mourning and surely someone would notice if we didn't join in. The others made room for us, and everyone around the circle was crying except for Nya and me.
"This isn't a cruel joke, right?" she asked with a nervous smile, her voice trembling. She reached out to touch her brother's face, then her hand immediately shrank back.
"I wish," Cole choked.
Nya stared for a few seconds, then sank into a disheveled heap with her face in her hands. Her entire body shook with each whimper, and soon she was no longer able to steady herself without putting her hands on the ground in front of her. The tears streamed out of her eyes, leaving trails in the dirt stains on her face. Every breath she inhaled was more like a gasp. I think she was saying something, but I couldn't make out anything past her muffled sobs and hiccoughs. Jay, blinking away tears himself, reached out to pat her back, but her hand swatted his away. I dug my fingers into the ground in front of me, almost as if I needed something to hold onto, feeling helpless.
Everyone was so focused on Nya that it seemed nobody noticed Lloyd's arrival until his blond head had been in the circle for a while. I let my hair fall over my face (which was somewhat hard to do because of my bangs) so that nobody would condemn me for being a heartless monster and not crying.
After what seemed like forever, Cole finally spoke. "I'm going to start digging a grave," his voice was soft but also shaky. He waited to see if anyone would object, but through my hair I saw that everyone was nodding.
We all began searching for a patch of smooth, even grass, and after a while Lloyd found a decent spot. Everyone, even Jay, was silent as we dug, and it seemed the birds were singing a funeral march. The wind quietly whistled in our ears, and although the sun had been shining brightly earlier, clouds began to gather above our heads. Our belongings were strewn across the ground and nobody bothered to organize them. Several stomachs (I didn't know whose) grumbled, but their owners were too focused on the digging to address it.
Nya shook with every movement, and her hair had fallen out of its normal high ponytail. It fell over her face and she didn't seem like she cared to move it out of her eyes. I hated that I didn't feel like my insides had been ripped out of me, since I was sure that was how everyone else felt. There was just a dull ache in my chest, because as much as I wished otherwise, Kai never meant that much to me. But unlike me, he had friends and family who cared, and every cubic inch of me felt guilty for almost envying him. When I'd died, nobody cared. Even if Lloyd was sad, he'd also be happy that I was finally gone and would never be there to manipulate him again.
It began to rain, a light drizzle at first, but soon it picked up its pace. I had a feeling that Nya may have had something to do with it, even if it wasn't on purpose. Of course, I didn't blame her; I had no right to. If I'd done something earlier instead of wondering if Morro was the Shadow Knight (which was so incredibly stupid on my part), all this could've been prevented from happening.
My fingers hurt from the digging, and after a while I figured it was deep enough, but the others didn't seem to want to stop anytime soon. Rainwater trailed down my hair and soaked my clothes, but if it didn't bother the grieving Ninja, I had no right to complain. I knew how they felt. When I'd lost my parents, I'd lost everything. I recalled the time back in the Oni Temple, where I told Lloyd that I'd died that day too.
But at least they still had each other.
I wished there was some way I could convey this to the others without sounding like I didn't care.
"This should be good enough," Zane said quietly, "We should aim to... place him in before it gets too wet." He seemed to have trouble speaking, as if his throat was clogged somehow. I looked around at the other Ninja, who just nodded. Everyone seemed to prefer nonverbal communication, since talking would be too painful.
Morro went and untied the sweatshirt, revealing the bloody hole in Kai's chest. Nya started sobbing even harder and louder, forcefully pushing everyone aside to get to her brother. No one spoke as she threw herself on top of him with one arm cradling his head, not caring how much blood would get on her shirt. I watched Nya press her wet face against Kai's, her body shaking so hard it looked like she would collapse at any second.
Fresh tears gushed out of the other Ninja and Morro's eyes, and I consciously moved my hair over my face again. This time, because everything was wet, the strands stuck to my grimy cheeks, making the job easier than it had been before.
Then, remembering what we were going to do, Nya let go of her brother and formed a sphere of water in her hands. Before anyone asked her what she was doing, she gingerly reached towards his wound and began to clean off some of the dried blood. Jay offered to help her remove the hair from her eyes, and though she seemed like she wanted to reject his offer at first, she reluctantly nodded. He gently tucked the strands of hair behind her ears, and Nya gave him a small smile. Her face was still red and tear stained, her lips trembling, but after I saw the determination in her eyes, I felt my chest tightening even more.
"Zane," she asked between sobs, "Could you help me stitch this up?"
The Ice Ninja quickly nodded, grabbed a first aid kit from the nearest bag, and knelt down the opposite side of Kai. Everyone else simply stood around in the mushy soil, not knowing what to do.
"He is ready," Zane said after a while. "Let us proceed."
Each one of us placed a hand somewhere beneath the body and carried it over to the hole we'd dug. Nya shakily pulled out the water that had gathered in it and threw it to the side. We carefully placed him in and began to cover it up.
"Can I send a farewell message?" Lloyd asked quietly. When nobody responded, he decided to take that as a yes and began.
"Thank you for being there for me whenever my father was gone," Lloyd whispered, violently blinking away his tears. "You were like the big brother I never had. Thank you for standing up to those bullies for me, though your methods often landed you in detention. Remember that time you tried to teach me how to style my hair? It was a massive failure and you ended up somehow making my bowl cut look worse. Then you tried to shave it and I didn't let you." He gave a little laugh in the end and attempted to wipe his eyes with his forearm, although that only ended up smearing more mud across his face.
"And I wish I'd told you, once Jay and I stole your Halloween candy and you were so mad. I promise, from now on, I'll never steal any candy again. Also, remember how once you woke up and someone drew a mustache on you and you said you'd never rest until you tracked that person down then you forgot about it the next day? That person was me, but I thought that mustache was honestly pretty good. I wish I could say more, but I don't think I have the time. We're gonna go get the Crystal Blade and defeat that stupid Shadow Knight, and I wish we could give you a proper burial, but I hope you understand why we can't. I... I love you, Kai. And I know normally you'd say that saying something like that is stupid, but, well, I mean it. Rest in peace." He tried to wipe his eyes again with his shirt sleeves, but soon every inch of his body was just a muddy mess.
When nobody spoke, Cole did. "Thanks for having my back whenever I got in a fight. Even though I would always get mad at you which would result in an argument afterwards, I really appreciate it. I know you always loved to fight people and I guess I'll never understand your Kai logic, but it's so good to know that someone's always gonna be there for you."
"We used to joke about how you were a living fire hazard especially since you've come close to setting all of us on fire, and instead of feeling ashamed, you just owned it. I love your attitude when it comes to facing people that annoyed you, even if sometimes I tell you you shouldn't be so reckless. Remember that time we were having a sleepover at my house, and the neighbors were being super loud and you just ran out in your pajamas to bang on their door? Thank god my dad was out or he would've killed us. It was so funny... I could recount these stories for weeks and not be done, but just know that we'll never forget you. You'll always be one of my best friends. Rest in peace." The Earth Ninja closed his eyes tightly, but that didn't stop the tears from leaking out. The rain continued to fall, drenching everyone, not that anybody cared.
Jay came next. "Remember how we used to play those games where we'd make a story with each person saying one sentence at a time? I used to be so annoyed whenever you'd say 'and then Jay died' and I'd follow up with 'and then Kai died' and then you'd say I was being unoriginal? Remember how when we first met you said you had a sister and I asked if she was hot? You got so mad when we started dating and would always conveniently show up at our dates and I really wanted to punch the lights out of you and then sometimes Nya would just leave and be like 'you two are idiots' and you would be so happy and leave and I'd be trying to come up with some big prank to exact my revenge?"
He took a big breath. "I guess from now on I'll just be rambling on and on and nobody will be there to stop me and though it might sound amazing, I already miss having you punch me in the side and saying I'm being annoying." Tears began flowing down his cheeks rapidly, and he seemed to have more trouble speaking. "I wish we had more time. We sometimes pretended to hate each other, but... Things are never gonna be the same, but we're gonna kick that stupid knight guy's butt and... and... We just take things for granted and never realize just how much we have until we've lost stuff and... I can't do this anymore..." Jay's voice cracked as he balled his hands into fists and looked like he didn't want to say anything else.
"Dear Kai, I know I am saying my monologue in the format of a letter, but bear with me here," Zane said, "I am forever grateful we became friends, because you were able to show me a different perspective on the world around us. You have always been bursting with energy, as opposed to my calm and collected attitude. Though sometimes your ideas of 'fun' sound quite dangerous, I have realized that as long as nobody got hurt in the process of this 'fun', I have enjoyed every minute of it. You live life so freely and I admire your courage to take risks that most would be afraid to do."
"You have always stayed true to your element, burning bright like a flame even in the darkest of times. You would always be our light and push everyone through. Although your stubbornness can be tiring at times, once you have a goal you would never give up, no matter what the odds. Our time together was too short and even though it is a strong word, I hate that. I promise we will persist in our journey to fight the Shadow Knight regardless of what happens. Thank you, Kai, for having been there for us. Yours truly, Zane."
"I'm not good at this stuff," Morro said once Zane finished, "So if my monologue is really bad please forgive me. I remember when I first met you I thought you were just another kid who thought they were amazing for no apparent reason, but after getting to know you I've learned that you shouldn't judge people solely based on your first impression. Sure, you're arrogant and stubborn as hell, but so am I. I guess I'm just really hypocritical, and I'm working on that. Remember that time you told me that I should dye the green streak in my hair red because it would look better? Literally an hour later you were like 'nah keep the green I'd like to be the only red one, thanks.' Sometimes you're so fickle, but I guess that's just your Kai-ness shining through."
"It's a crime that the time we spent together was so short, but I promise, we'll take care of your parents, your girlfriend, and your sister for you, even if she might not want that. Also, when I was failing school you would help me, even if you weren't getting straight A's yourself. It's hilarious watching you try to explain math formulas when you didn't even remember half of the pronunciations. Sometimes I wonder how we became friends in the first place. Whatever the reason was, I'm glad. Thank you for being Kai. Rest in peace."
"Thank you for coming with us on this mission," Ruby said, surprising me, "I'm speaking for both myself and my sister when I say we couldn't have made it this far without you. It's too bad we never really got to know each other and I don't have any stories to share, but if given more time, I'm sure we would've become great friends. I really appreciate the effort you put into our journey, risking your life to help my sister defeat the Shadow Knight. Thank you. I wish I could say more, but I can't. Rest in peace."
"I'm sorry for dragging you into this," I mumbled quietly, realizing that Nya and I were the only people who hadn't said anything yet. "Thank you for everything you've done for me in the short time we've known each other. I promise I will do everything in my power to protect the people you care about, and I wish we knew each other longer." Technically we had, but since the Jade City Ninja were only aware of our short interactions with each other, I shouldn't mention anything from Ninjago.
"You seem like an amazing person and it's such a shame we never became really close friends. Thank you for coming, and rest in peace." By this point my heartbeat had drowned out pretty much all the words and I wasn't even sure if they came out right. I felt like everything I said was just a ton of lies. Did I really even care at all? I'd been living under a mask, under a lie, for so long that I could no longer tell whether or not I was being honest or not.
When the Water Ninja took a deep breath in, it was as if my heart stopped.
"Kai, I love you so, so much," Nya sniffed, the tears trailing off the tip of her chin, "You've *hic* always been there for me, and *hic* whenever our parents were out of town *hic* you would take care of me. You introduced me to your *hic* friends and brought me into this newfound family. You'd *hic* stand up for me when others picked on me and *hic* I couldn't ever ask for a better big brother. Sometimes I would laugh at you whenever you *hic* messed up and I would make fun of you and *hic* you never cared. Your overprotectiveness got really *hic* annoying sometimes but it's really touching how *hic* you care so much about me. You do stupid things all *hic* the time and we fight and argue like *hic* any siblings do but life will never be the same without you. I remember how *hic* when we were kids, I was so scared of the storms, *hic* and at night I would crawl into your bed and you would *hic* rub my shoulders and comfort me and *hic* tell me everything was gonna be okay."
She gasped, tears continuing to pour out of her eyes, and took in several deep breaths before continuing, "Remember how you *hic* used to pull me around in that little wagon? I *hic* said it was stupid and that I didn't need you but *hic* I actually really liked it. The other girls would *hic* tell me about how lucky I was to have you as *hic* a brother and I would laugh and say that you *hic* sucked but yeah, you're the best big brother I could ever wish for. I *hic* love you so so so so so much... You *hic* said you would always be there for me... Why, Kai, why aren't you here..." Nya's wet hair fell all over her face as she crouched on the ground, her hands digging into the dirt. Her arms were visibly shaking from the effort, and I wanted to give her a big hug, but I knew that would just be weird.
Instead, I patted the dirt on the ground like the others, having covered up the hole. It was now a patch of brown soil in a field of green. Jay began gathering small pebbles and juxtaposing them in such a way that they spelled out Kai's name. The other Ninja joined in, but because there were too many of them gathered around the spot, I couldn't exactly help. I was almost relieved, since I felt like I was lying about caring. Cole went and picked up a large boulder, placing it over the spot where Kai's head was, and Morro carved the Fire Ninja's name and dates into it with a knife.
The rain continued to pour, something for which I was guiltily thankful for, as I didn't want any of the others to notice that I wasn't crying. But then I doubted anybody would look at me anyway.
They finished and for the longest time, we simply sat in silence, hanging our heads.
After a while, when most of the Ninja regained their motivation to keep moving forward, we picked up our belongings and walked through the now-safe-to-pass forest. No one said a single word.
By the time we finally got out, night had fallen.
A/N: This is probably the longest chapter in TJC so far (or maybe ever) and definitely the most emotional (not sure if I accomplished that tho). It's probably the first time I wrote an emotional scene so any critiques or feedback would be appreciated :)
Any thoughts?
Thank you guys so much for reading, your votes and comments always make me smile :D