•Part 26•
What better thing to do on a Wednesday morning than to miss your only two periods of the day for a stroll in the park?
The weather looked really promising and it would have been a sin to miss out on it by sitting in a classroom. I had to show Mother Nature some respect - without my own mother knowing of course.
"Bye mum!" I screamed closing the door quickly behind me and running down my driveway. I wasn't even going to take my car, because I felt like it was a shame. A walk in the fresh air would do me some good. I was going to relax today and get everything off of my mind. I had to.
Before I had realised I was at the park, all I had to do was find a nice little spot in the shade to spend my day in. And there it was, a little spot of grass under a huge tree far enough from the football pitch to have some piece and quiet but close enough to be able to admire the lookers running around from a safe distance. It was perfect.
I opened up my books and made myself comfortable on my blanket - yes, I brought a blanket. I stared at Mussolini's face on the cover of my history textbook thinking just how much I didn't want to be doing my homework. And so I decided not to. Jesus I was a rebel today!
I put my books away and lay back down on the blanket. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and most importantly the boys were gathering on the pitch. I smiled internally admiring the eye candy.
This was going to be a good day-- my thoughts got stopped by the stinging pain in my stomach. "Fvck." I cursed, clutching the stomach and rolling to my side from the pain. What had just hit me?
"Oh my god I'm so so sorr--" Liam stopped talking as soon as I sat up and glared. He was holding a football. Of course, I couldn't have a nice relaxing Hamilton-free day, because he was everywhere!
"Are you okay?" He asked.
I looked away avoiding his eyes. "I'm fine."
"I'm sorry that wasn't even me--"
"I don't care. Whatever."
"You look nice."
I looked down at my Superdry grey t-shirt with aqua three quarter sleeves, destroyed dark grey skinny jeans with rips on both knees and my timberlands before lying back down on the ground hoping he'd get my lack of interest and leave me alone. "No I don't. Stop trying to make small talk."
My hand was still on my throbbing stomach and unfortunately he noticed. "Lucy, you're not fine, let me--"
I sat up automatically. "Hell no! You're not coming anywhere near me."
He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a voice from the pitch. "Hamilton what's taking you so long?!"
Liam sighed, before kicking back the ball to his team but not moving away from me.
"Look Liam, you're friends are waiting--"
"I miss you." My jaw dropped. Where the hell did that come from? "I'm serious," Liam said. "I miss you so much. I know I've made a mistake and I wish I had seen it earlier. But I was stupid and I'm sorry. I just want you to know that I won't give up trying to get you back--"
"Stop. Just stop." I sat up completely. "I don't want to hear it Liam. I've heard it all before, so please stop repeating yourself."
"But--"
I shook my head. "No buts. It's over. To be honest, now that I think of it, I don't think there was an 'it'."
His jaw dropped. "How can you say that?"
I shrugged, looking away. "In the same way you could sleep with me and then pretend you don't know me the next day."
"Lucy--"
"Seriously Liam, leave it. I'm done." I said sternly, looking at the pitch. "Your mates are waiting, aren't you scared they're gonna see you talking to me and get the idea that you actually know me?" I gasped dramatically, but it was sarcastic. I was being a bitch on purpose. I didn't want to be, it still hurt me to see him hurt, but I had to keep my promise to myself and not fall for his silly games ever again.
Liam sighed, looking down at his feet for a second. "I'm sorry you think that."
"That's the only thing you've taught me to think." I reminded him.
He winced and I knew that I might have crossed the line. As bad as it sounds, that's exactly what I wanted. I missed him, I really did but we could never be together. Not after everything he's done and not after he showed me what he was like. I knew I deserved better.
"Okay, I think I should go." Liam spoke finally. I nodded. "Just know I miss you and I regret everything." And with that he walked off in the direction of the pitch.
As soon as he was gone I let out a deep breath of relief and lay back down. That was harder than I expected it to be. Everything I thought of him, I hated him, with passion. But as soon as I saw him and he looked at me with those clear eyes I weakened a little each time. I hated that, more than I hated him.
It was like I was in an ongoing battle with myself non stop and it had reached a point where I had to decided which side would win.
////////////
The next morning was even more beautiful. Looking out the window I knew it was going to be a beautiful day, but then again that's what I thought the day before and that managed to backfire.
I quickly slipped on my black floral print camisole dress and a pair of black leather heeled boots, cut out at the heel with an ankle strap. This outfit was the perfect compromise between my mum and myself - it was a dress, but it was dark.
The whole day flew by and I even managed to avoid Liam for all of it. To be honest, I don't even think he was in. The school day had ended but I promised Sean that I would attend the game. My best friends were already at the bleachers. "Hey guys."
"You look nice!" Melissa grinned.
"No she doesn't." I rolled my eyes, twisting on my heels to face Nicole. "You look like a lower class stripper."
"Oh for fvck sake Nicole no one asked for your opinion." I groaned. "I'll wear what I like."
"Osh, feisty." She laughed before walking away to join her minions.
"Anyway," I turned to Melissa. "Thank you."
"He's looking at you." Poppy told me.
"Who?"
"You know who."
I shrugged. "Whatever."
Poppy sighed. "You guys need to talk. Even if you'll never be together you need to get your feelings out."
"Luce," Melissa added. "We know he's done wrong. And we understand how you feel. He's not worth your time, and we'll always be on your side. But if you don't talk to him, this will never be resolved."
"Well you'll be happy to know we talked." I told them.
"When?" Poppy asked.
"Yesterday. He was at the park."
"What happened?!" Melissa demanded.
I looked down at my feet. "He told me he misses me."
Melissa gasped and Poppy bit her lip obviously trying to hold her eyes back from popping out too. "What did you say?"
"I shut him up." I shrugged. "I know what you guys will say, but I was being a bitch on purpose. I needed to be for my own good. For once, I had to be selfish and think of how I feel because if I was anywhere near nice to him, he would think he's got me again."
"We get that." Melissa nodded. "You weren't selfish."
I sighed. "I feel bad, I can't lie. I felt bad when saying all the stuff but it needed to be done."
"It'll be fine Luce." Poppy told me. "We're here for you."
I hugged them both. "Thanks guys."
I needed my friends right now and it was good to know that I had atleast some support. I couldn't do this alone.
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http://www.polyvore.com/miss_you/set?id=126481171&lid=3706920
http://www.polyvore.com/match/set?id=126481555&lid=3706920