November 24, 1980
Even though the album was released a week ago, John and Yoko went out to do another radio interview despite my favour. All I could do was bite my tongue, shut up and not make a fuss. I trust John I do. Just not her.
John promised to help me set up the crib since the baby's due date was a week from now. But he was too busy doing his damn interview. So I took it upon myself to read the instructions and set it up on my own.
I was rummaging through the closet when I found a small box full of Andrew's things. I paused and debated whether to leave it alone or look through it. Of course my deperate mind told me the latter.
I sat on the bed, opened the box and pulled out one of his shirts. I pouted and held it close to me.
"You stupid prick." I muttered. I unbuttoned my dress and stepped out of it, slipping his shirt on. I had to admit, I felt warm instantly.
I found a tin container full of ticket stubs. Most of them from Rolling Stones concerts. I giggled to find tons of pictures of us at gigs, in the office or just together at each other's apartments. I found one of us from sixty-three. It was an office Christmas party and we were still trying to get used to each other. I was so arrogant about my work and he was completely strict. I couldn't stand him. But there we were. Awkwardly smiling. His arm around my waist as we stood together.
"Look how young we were." I smiled to myself. I flipped through a few more. A recent one of our day off. We went to a small gallery downtown and tried to make Max into a baby genius. This ended with him sleeping most of the day while me and Andrew went out to a few restaurants and spending the evening in bed.
I felt pressure in my belly as I bit my lip. I took a breath. "Don't you start in there."
I found a picture of him, Julian and James inside my office. I stared at how happy James was. My eyes teared up as I set it down.
The pain returned as I rubbed my stomach. I gasped and stood up. That's when I knew.
..
"Where's John?? I need my husband." I breathed, laying back on the bed.
"He's on his way honey. But right now we need you to push." The nurse said wiping the sweat off my forehead. I shook my head.
"I can't." I cried in pain.
"Yes you can." The nurse urged. I clutched the bed frame and pushed. Gasping for air, I was told to give another. My head was throbbing. My body was weak. I couldn't even speak by the time I gave it my all. I fell back on the bed and breathed heavily, my heart beating faster as my eyesight began to blur.
I heard doctors and nurses scrambling as I reached out. "My baby. I want to hold him."
"She's still concious. Keep her that way." I heard the doctor tell a nurse. "She's losing lots of blood."
I blinked but all I could see was darkness. My ears ringing. I felt woozy. I couldn't even speak. I heard a familiar voice.
"Lucy!? Where's my wife??"
"Sir you need to wait outside."
"What's wrong!? Atleast tell me that much!" The panic in his voice made my heart tremble. I heard the faint sound of the baby crying as I slipped more into unconciousness.
.........