With a groan she slowly opened her eyes, wincing at the pain as she quickly covered her eyes from the bright afternoon sun. She definitely had a concussion. She closed her eyes again, not wanting to deal with it right now as she let her other senses help her out. She felt grass on her skin, she was sore all over but especially her head. She heard the typical rumble of a busy day in the capital and then a realization washed over her. Ben didn't take her. She was still on Chandrila.
Oh, shit. She was still on Chandrila.
Her eyes popped open despite the pain when she heard rushed footsteps she tried to push herself up but soon hands were on her arms, helping her sit. Darby's face soon entered her field of vision and she grew worried when she saw two of them. "I think I'm going to be sick," Kat warned, doing her best to stop the dizziness.
"Not on me you're not." She said, maneuvering them so Kat could throw up in the grass beside them, which she did.
"I heard one of Ren's bodyguards talking about how he was stupid to let someone so high up in the Resistance go. He said that he didn't think there was anything to worry about so as soon as they left I came to find you." Darby explained as she checked over Kat's head for any bleeding that might be occurring. "I also don't know if you're in any condition to drive and who knows if your ship is in any driving order."
Kat wiped her mouth, feeling a little better despite the raging headache that was kicking in. The Knight of Ren must have hit her over the head when she turned to look at Ren. "Just give me a few and it'll be like I'm driving with a hangover. I'd rather not call my ride, he's got an in with my mom and I'm sure I'd never be allowed off base again."
"Ooh, a he, huh?" She teased as she pulled Kat's hair out of her braid to help relieve some tension.
"Shut up and help me get to my ship." Kat rolled her eyes, careful of the vomit beside her as she stood.
Darby handed over her sunglasses to a grateful Kat as they started walking. It was more of a hobble at first, with Kat trying to get her balance back in order from the bit of vertigo she was experiencing. "I really think you should get checked out before flying." Darby voiced her worry.
"If I have driven fine drunk then I can totally do this. I'll even call you when I get back to base."
"I don't think this is the same as driving a speeder on Naboo." Darby gave Kat a pointed look.
The other woman wasn't paying any attention. They had reached the lot that Kat had parked in and there was her ship, cut in half by a kriffing lightsaber no doubt. She really was never going to be let off base again. "Is my family garage still in order?"
"Yeah, I think so. Why?"
"Can you take me there?"
"Of course."
The two friends made their way back to the capital and headed straight for Darby's speeder. Kat knew that she would need to call into base soon. She was actually surprised the commlink Poe had given her hadn't started going off yet. She'd call as soon as she knew if the light freighter that Han and Leia kept on hand for whoever didn't get the Millennium Falcon was still in the garage.
Darby stayed in her speeder and kept watch as Kat keyed in the code to open up the Organa-Solo garage. There, still covered in a sheet, was the light freighter she had heard Han and Leia talk about one night when she was supposed to be asleep. Poking her head back out, she stuck her thumb up, and with one last wave, Darby left.
Pulling the sheet off, Kat smiled when she saw that it still looked like new. She walked around doing a check to see if anything needed any mending from being left untouched for so long but it seemed like luck was back on her side. The lights still stung but she was pushing through. Once on board, she did another walkthrough to check on everything and when all the proper lights flashed and things looked clear, she started all of the preflight protocols.
She brought the entry ramp up and soon she was back in the sky. Just in case Ren waited for her, she took a leisurely path towards an asteroid belt. She fully planned to jump to lightspeed to get back to base as soon as she crossed it. Autopilot set, she finally called Poe. "So, I'm going to be a little late." She said as soon as he answered.
"No shit. We were starting to worry."
"I'm also coming back on a different ship. I lost my A-Wing." Maybe if she slowly worked her way towards the real reason behind all of this she wouldn't get yelled at as bad.
"Then how, wait did you steal another ship?" Poe had been worried the second she didn't make her check in to let them know she was on her way back. His emotions were honestly going from one end to the other.
"Not technically."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, it's a family ship, I just don't know if I'm supposed to know about it."
Now she just wasn't making any sense. "I think you're gonna have to start at the beginning there, Kat. Maybe even with why you didn't call me sooner?"
She bit her lower lip, preparing herself for the worst. She knew if he had been able to see her face he'd make her say whatever she was stalling for. "Uh, because I was unconscious. Let Kalonia know I need treatment for a concussion, please?"
"Kat, what the hell happened? This was supposed to be an easy run. One you've done plenty of times before. Your contact didn't turn, did they?"
"No!" She was quick to defend Darby. "No, my contact didn't turn. I just, uh, well, I just..."
"Kat just tell it to me straight."
"I ran into Ren." She whispered, ready to hear her own words thrown back at her or even Leia's voice come through. She didn't really get either.
"Kriff," Poe muttered, letting out a heavy sigh. He was relieved that she was coming back to him seemingly with only a concussion. He knew from personal experience a run-in with Kylo Ren could have been so much worse. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, like I said. Just got a concussion. Didn't even lose what I had come to get. My A-Wing is now cut in half though."
The pout could be clearly heard in her voice. "There's another A-Wing here for you except I'm tempted to make sure you stay grounded."
"You can't give me orders, commander."
"Yeah, but I know the general who can."
"How is she?" She asked, wondering if Leia was just as worried about her as Poe seemed to be.
Poe looked over at Leia who was standing at the command center. "I think she's worried but hiding it pretty well. You might want to call into base though."
"See you soon."
"Yeah, I better. We're not done talking about this."
"I'm still in one piece and I'm not going to need a whole bacta suit."
She struck a nerve, she must have for he didn't respond right away. She let out a sigh, knowing how she was when he had faced off against Ren. She didn't have any communication with him though.
"He's lucky you don't." He answered before ending the call.
Well, this was about to be an interesting conversation. She took a deep breath and set the commlink aside so she could use the freighter's comms system to call to base. "Navy leader to command, do you copy?"
"Kat, where the hell have you been?" Leia's voice came over the comms.
So she was angry too. Kat wondered if there was a way to sneak by both Leia and Poe to get to the med bay. "Well, I had a bit of an unexpected family reunion."
"Are you alright?"
"Concussion aside, yes. I also lost the A-Wing but picked up this great light freighter. You've been holding out on me."
"How did you know about that?"
"The walls were really quite thin." Kat laughed a bit.
Leia let out an exasperated sigh. "Just make it back to base in one piece please."
The communication ended just as Kat reached the asteroid belt. Making sure she truly hadn't been followed, she jumped to lightspeed and set the autopilot back on. She really needed to give her eyes a break if the pounding in her head was any indication.
✧☆✧
She landed some hours later and she was barely off her ship when she had an arm full of Rose. "I was so worried about you." The mechanic said.
Kat returned the hug, relief flooding through her not only because she was back on base but because Rose gave her an excuse to close her eyes. Was it always this bright?
"Rose, she's gotta breathe," Finn said with a chuckle.
"No, she doesn't." She argued, tightening her grip.
Laughing, Kat slowly opened her eyes and just behind Finn's shoulder, she saw Poe and Leia looming. "It's fine, really. Anything to keep those two at bay for a little while longer." She motioned behind Finn.
He turned around to see who she was talking about even if he really didn't need the confirmation on who it was. "Yeah, they're not too thrilled you had a run-in with Ren."
"I can see that. How comfortable are you two with making them mad?"
Rose and Finn looked at each other before looking back at Kat. "Sorry, you're on your own with those two," Rose said, letting Kat go.
As the two walked away, Kat whispered, "traitors," which caused them both to laugh.
Leia approached her first and after the two hugged, the older woman began leading her daughter towards the med bay; Poe trailing behind. "Are you really alright?" She asked.
"Yes, mom. The conversation even went the same as it always did. Me trying to bring him back. Him trying to recruit me. Things would have been fine if a Knight of Ren hadn't shown up. That's who hit me in the head." She would leave out that he had ignited his saber for now or she was sure she would be put into some sort of lockdown. "He was shocked I wasn't blonde." She laughed a bit.
"Now is not a laughing matter, Katerina."
Kat rolled her eyes as she sat on the exam table. Leia stood at the end while Kalonia stepped up and Poe lingered at the door, waiting for his turn. "This isn't even the worst injury I've had, especially when it comes to his involvement." She then gave a pointed look at Poe. "And don't go getting all in a tizzy either. We were kids, I fell out of a tree and broke my arm."
"Oh, so you fell now?" Leia asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You and I both know that I lied about him pushing me. He was trying to get me to stop from going any higher."
Leia laughed, shaking her head.
"Now is not a laughing matter, mom." Kat threw the other woman's words right back at her.
"Seems like you'll survive. We're debriefing in an hour." She gave Kat a pointed look before leaving the exam room, patting Poe's shoulder on the way out.
Kalonia continued with her exams, soon telling her she'll be back to get a few head scans to be sure nothing else was wrong, and then it was only her and Poe. He made his way into the room once Kalonia left but still kept his distance.
"I'm not going to break if you get too close, you know. I told you I was fine." She looked to him, slightly exasperated. Was she this bad when those under her watch returned injured?
"Did you see him before you met with your contact?"
That was not a question she was expecting coming from him. She could lie, make this go by quicker so they can just get over this. But he seemed to have joined the ranks of people she couldn't hide from anymore. "Yes."
"Then why didn't you call me?!"
"And let him get his hands on you again?! Not a chance! The one promise that he has never broken was his promise to protect me. Well, and him still trying to get me to join him but that's beside the point. If you had been there while he was still around you would have been captured yet again and used to get me to join. I'm not putting you into that kind of danger willingly."
"And what if he had taken you instead of leaving you there?"
"I would have made my way back."
"And what if he had killed you?"
Kat growled in frustration. "Poe! Stop with the what-ifs! I'm here. I'm fine. There's no need for them."
They stared at each other for a long moment. Kat was indeed here and she was yelling at him. That should give him some sort of comfort but he needed to know the extent of the concussion and if she really was as uninjured as she looked. He finally closed the distance between them, standing in between her legs that dangled off the edge of the exam table. Bringing his hands up, he did his own examination. Fingers diving into brown locks that she was pretty sure she needed to touch up soon as he felt around for anything that he could use to make Kalonia make her stay in the med bay for longer than necessary just like she did to him.
Kat winced when his fingers moved over a particularly tender spot on the back of her head. "Sorry." He muttered, removing his fingers and smoothing out her hair, making sure to be extra gentle around that area. He let out a small sigh as he ran his hands down her arms, taking her hands in his. "I can't add you to my list." He looked into her eyes and she could see all of the pain from the loss he had suffered and the fear that she would be next.
It was the same feeling she had about him. "I can't add you to mine either."
And in that moment, the rest of her walls came down and she was just about to kiss him when Kalonia came back in, announcing that they were ready for her scans. Poe jumped back, startled, and at the sound of the doctor's laugh, they blushed. "If you'll wait here, Commander Dameron, she could use an escort to General Organa's office." The doctor suggested.
Poe nodded his consent and then off Kat went to get the scans she needed.
The moment she returned, Poe pulled her into a bone-crunching hug. He hadn't been able to hold her in his arms just yet and the few minutes that she had been gone, he had begun to question if she had really come back. Kat slid her arms around his waist since she couldn't really move them much farther with how tight he was holding her and tucked her face into his neck. "I'm safe. I'm here. I'm okay."
"I thought I was the one that was supposed to go off the plan." He finally said.
"Yeah, I'd really rather you not do that either."
"You're taking BB-8 the next time you go solo."
Kat laughed. "I don't think Leia will let me do that for a long time."
"I'm okay with that too." He pressed a kiss to her hair before leading her to Leia's room. "What'd Dr. Kalonia say?"
"The scans look okay. Some bruising but overall good. I'm not to do anything that could make it worse so I'm stuck behind my command center until it heals really. She also gave me something for my headache but would leave the rest of the medicine in my room. And she's pleased that I haven't fallen back asleep but she still wants me to stay with Leia tonight just in case."
Poe nodded. "Well, if you need anything..."
"I know." She cut him off with a small smile.
He knew he promised he wouldn't push her into anything she didn't want but he nearly lost her and he couldn't not let her know how he felt. They were never guaranteed a tomorrow especially while they were fighting a war. "Kat, I..."
"Poe," she cut him off, again. He really wished she would stop doing that. "I've had a bit of a day and I'm about to go rehash it with one of the only other people I can cry in front of. I know that you and I need to talk but I can't just yet. I'm still keeping my promise. I just needed you to know." Need you to know that running into Kylo Ren today just reminded me of my fear of if I let you in then the universe is going to take one of us away.
Or at least that's what she repeated to herself when she was separated from him during her scans. It's not the right time. It's not the right time. It's not the right time.
He let out a small sigh but nodded. He understood, of course, he did. He just hoped that their confessions wouldn't come with a death bed. "I can wait." He promised as he caressed her cheek. The smile she gave him spoke volumes and he made a mental note to reach out to his contact that was looking into an old rebel base to see if there were any functioning A-Wings.
Poe left her with a lingering kiss on her forehead. Kat watched as he exited the cave, taking a deep breath before going to face her mom. There would be no doors or walls to give them any privacy as they spoke about her run-in with Kylo Ren. She was sure that Leia had told everyone to stay away unless they were needed for an emergency but she wanted a more enclosed space so no one would see the emotional mess she was sure to become. Why couldn't they do it in her office? This felt far too personal for a debriefing. Then again the mission turned far too personal the moment she had been caught.
"Rose should be able to get whatever parts she needs." She said as she pulled the envelope from her jacket, tossing it on Leia's bed.
"I'm glad you were able to keep a hold on it." Leia nodded, moving the envelope to the small side table, and patted the now empty space next to her.
Kat let out a sigh and sat down. "He wasn't after that."
"Then what was he after?"
She just gave Leia a pointed look. "What is he always after when we cross paths?"
"He still hasn't figured out how to convince you then."
"You really think I would actually join him?"
Leia shrugged at Kat's incredulous look. "They have better food. That is why you stick around here isn't it?"
Kat playfully shoved at Leia as the two women laughed at her horrible joke. "Yeah, that's definitely the reason I joined up, the food."
After their laughter died down, Leia took Kat's hand and gave it a small squeeze. "How's Darby?"
"Oh, Darby's great. She's kicking ass, taking names. I hope she joins in the rebuilding efforts after all of this is done." Kat smiled.
"I'm sure she will." Leia's matching smile turned serious. "Now, tell me what happened."
Kat sighed and laid back, an arm thrown over her eyes. The medicine Kalonia had given her was helping but she didn't want to really look at Leia while she retold the events of her unplanned reunion. "I saw him before I even met Darbs. They were walking down the main hallway so I ran to the drop site, hoping he didn't see me or feel me in the force. I opened the door to start making my way back and there he was and there I went as I held onto the door handle while he swung it open. I was trying to fight the pull and close the door back like an idiot. Talked about dad, tried to get him to come with me, and then he tried to get me to come with him. But then one of his knights showed up and I fought them until I heard him ignite his saber but before I could even see what his intentions were I was knocked unconscious and apparently he left me behind. Darby found me then we found out he had cut my A-Wing in half and then I took the light freighter you and dad were supposedly waiting on giving to one of us when the other got the Falcon."
"He drew his saber on you?" Her voice was filled with anger and worry, the exact reasons she had kept that little tidbit away from her when she first landed.
Kat nodded, lowering her arm away from her face. "You know at first I was scared he did it because I rejected him again and that was going to be it but what if he did it to distract me so I could be left behind without him having to show weakness or identify who I was? I mean he was shocked that I was brunette." Which now that she thought about it, he would have known that ahead of time because of their run in on Coruscant. Or maybe it was more so hiding the fact that they were siblings since the Knights knew of her significance in the Resistance.
Leia just looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"I don't know! He's confusing the hell out of me. And I mean Rey said she still saw light in him. Isn't that what we were hoping for before he killed dad? Not to mention he told me that Snoke was dead and that he's the Supreme Leader now so even if we didn't already know that from Rey he was willing to give me information unprompted. I mean if anything this is your fault. You told me to open up more and now I'm starting to question everything with him instead of shutting it all out like I want to."
She let out a sigh as she sat back up, putting her head in her hands. "I just want my brother back and for this all to be over."
Leia pulled her daughter into her arms, just holding her. Soon sniffles were heard and she just held Kat closer. "He really scared me today," Kat confessed. "There were times where I was talking to him and I was so sure my brother was still there but other times it felt like what he told me was true. That Ben was dead."
"Well, I'm certainly not thrilled that you had a lightsaber drawn on you but this may just mean that Ben is still in there."
"Guess I'll keep fighting to bring him home then." Kat sighed. "Gotta take down the First Order first, cause regardless they have got to go."
Leia smiled. "That's my girl."
They stayed in each other's arms, just soaking in being there with each other. Sounds from the base and the lively moon filtered into the cave but both of them remained silent. They could have lost each other. During the radio silence from Kat, Leia had even begun to fear the worst despite not having felt her daughter leave from the Force. The moment after Kat didn't call to check in, Leia had taken over control of the command center, giving sharp orders on how to find out what happened and where Kat was. She should probably go apologize to that crew, have Dameron do the same because he was just as bad.
His pacing hadn't been helping and she had ordered him to take a lap. When he had come back running over, she feared the worst but got the best. Kat was coming back. She had a run-in with her brother and somehow managed to know about a light freighter she wasn't supposed to know about. Then again she always seemed to know information she wasn't supposed to, always revealing it when it was useful. She had really missed that skill set when Kat had gone off to Naboo. Darby had made a good replacement though.
"So," Kat spoke up as she pulled back, "how long are you gonna keep me on base?"
Leia sighed. She wanted to say until this war ended. The loss of Han still weighed heavily on her and even just the thought that she had lost Kat, she hadn't been sure what her future looked like. There was only so much loss she could bear and she had born quite a lot in her lifetime. But that wasn't possible. Their numbers were low and Kat was one of the best agents she had. "Only until Kalonia clears you for battle."
Kat looked at her in shock, she had expected a longer time.
"Oh, don't look at me like that. It's the choice as your general I need to make, not your mother."
It was three weeks before Kat was cleared and flying off for the next mission.