Matthew's POV
"O~nly Rafa.. can...call me... Y-yan-"
And she was out
Shaking my head at her humurous antics I tuck her blanket under her chin more properly
Only I could call you that huh?
Somehow it felt...nice
"Thank god she passed out already"
I snap my head at Lance's now relieved features with a raised eyebrow
"Oh she kept cursing at me to call 'Rafa' so as for my well being, here you are now" he gestured a hand towards me as he settled on the chair by the window
I too sat down awkwardly at the chair on the other side next to Zaia's bed and across Lance's slouch form
He's distractedly typing away on his phone so I took the chance to watch Zaia sleep
Creepy I know
Unlike the other time she was asleep that one time when she got a flu she looks sleeping rather peacefully this time
No frown on her eyebrows, eyes, lips... nothing.
Maybe its because she's completely out after being sedated
My eyes travel from the healing bruises on her face, to her bandaged shoulder, to her right arm in a black sling, then to her side where a rather big dagger wound is supposed to be hiding under the blanket
...
"Do not make that face Matthew"
Snapping my head up I blinked at Lance who hadn't bothered looking away from his phone
"She has been at ease now that you're safe, so don't feel bad no matter how wounded she has gotten... in fact she doesn't care about her injuries at all as you witnessed earlier" he added still without looking up instead of down at his phone "none of it was your fault after all"
Yes...you—
"You're right..." I started my voice a mere whisper through the quiet room as I chose to continue watching Zaia asleep "but it still has to do with me. She could've been much more injured or wor—"
"You might wanna tone down your negativity for a bit.. otherwise you want the sleeping demon to awaken just to argue with you on that one" he's smirking at his phone by now as I just roll my eyes at him
Reaching a hand out to brush my knuckles against her usual warm bruised pale cheek softly
I don't doubt that at all
"If you weren't saved at all dear Matthew..." he dawled on glancing up at me slowly before going back to his phone "believe me when I say this, Zaia would've been a whole lot worse than these pathetic injuries she had gotten from rescuing you"
What—what does he mean by that?
When I saw her face on the cell I was being kept that day, I remembered staring at her dull dark grey eyes shining with overwhelming stress and hopelessness with dark bags underneath her eyelids accompanied by the sickly pale face of hers
I'm not good at reading people but Zaia... she looked overwhelmingly exhausted that time... but not physically despite the wound on large stab wound her side
Rather it was a very clear and visible raw emotional exhaustion...
Her eyes showed so much emotion that it had caught me off guard that time.
"Let me tell you the story of how we met" he suddenly said making my attention snap back to him
And before I even realised he was already chatting away enthusiastically with that childlike excitement glint in his eyes
"we we're both enrolled and accepted at the FBI academy back then, I was 16 and she was 15 but it was clear that she had more experience, rumored was that she was trained personally by her grandfather—" he paused suddenly frowning before shaking his head and grinned at me forcefully "anyways during trainings and such, I was kinda.. able to keep up with her-her strength in combat" subtle flinch "her intelligence in hacking and mechanical basics, her deadly shots and incredible aiming" he then pursed his lips making me smirk in amusement noticing his mistakes "—to the point we both had tied in ranking... we we're both ranked 1st for 2 years straight. She hated me for it and I..ofcourse hated her too for her unwillingness to accept it, unwilling to share the rank I also worked hard to achieve"
He looked smug this time, with his arms behind his head, his eyes closed in content and triumph, and his mouth so wide in a proud and cocky smirk
I mentally rolled my eyes at him but couldn't help the ghost of a smile marring my lips as I imagine the hateful expression and the cold blank face on her younger version probably had that time
"First that she did was glare coldly at me anytime and anywhere, whether we lock gazes or she would just do it behind my back, on the side of my face, on my forehead" he laughed loudly waving his hand "the second thing she did was threaten me, personally. I was shocked since she never talked not even once that the superiors—all of us thought she was mute."
She went mute? No... the Yana I knew was very talkative.. and the Zaia now can talk though not that much
"whenever we had lectures with the superiors and the trainees she never said a word but they soon gave up on trying to get her to talk since they we're aware of the popularity of her last name and all." He shrugged with a small amused smirk "not to mention her poker face was scary as hell back then.. basically the reason why no one on the academy had the guts to mess or scold her— oh! I forgot...our hand-in-hand combat trainor senior Agent Alvarez somehow got her to talk once, during a spar in demonstrating a technique.."
He lookes thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head "but unfortunately we couldn't hear what they we're talking about at all... well whatever it was... worked on getting an emotion out of her which is: anger and fury.." he shuddered half-heartedly at the thought "I swear I still have goosebumps remembering her very pissed and outrage expression, her glare that time was uncomparable and much more to the next level to the ones she would give this time"
I wonder what was it about?.. what caused her that much anger?
Clapping his hands loudly he slouch back on his chair lazily
"Well anyways back to the story of our scars—"
"Wait! Who won?" I interrupted in confusion and curiosity
Snapping his blue eyes back at me he said "she walked out after shocking us on managing to flip Superior Agent Senior Alvarez.. but he landed on both his feet for the last second Zaia was already angrily stomping out of the gym"
I'm... out of words to say...
Studying my expression he nodded with a disbelief kind of smile "I know right."
"Ever since then she became more like an unstoppable machine than a human... she'd train for hours even after our usual combat trainings, us students would just quietly and wordlessly watch as she torture those dummies and punching bags even during breaktimes." He started flipping his phone up in the hair and catching it swiftly as he distractedly look at nothing in particular "like I said nonstop."
"What we're the higher ups been doing then?" I asked incredelously "Don't tell me they too are scared of their own trainee?"
He shook his head negatively before clicking his tounge "they thought that was the best way to let out some steam instead of beating up and picking a fight with the other students but I heard it was the Director Maksimov himself made that decision so they let her be—"
"How Absurd! You're telling me no one should interfere whilst she beat herself up nonstop?!" I frown deeply at the strange logic of letting her exhaust herself in such matter
"She would stop eventually you see.." he sighed frustratingly but not at me rather finding the situation messed up as I am "she would faint after reaching the limit of her stamina... that's when they'd carry her to the infirmary to properly patch up her bruises and for her to rest til she gain her conciousness back... then the cycle goes on"
Grumbling under my breath I rub a hand down my face in frustration at what I just heard
"unbelievable... just how much had she been putting her health at risk?" Shaking my head I blew a breath as I squeezed her hand in mine
His eyes turned blank as he stared down at me in all seriousness
"Probably a few years after you left... and just recently after you had gone missing."
My eyes widen and my lips open in shock
That means... she has been like this...
"Anyways..." he cleared his throat effectively gaining my attention "one day during our usual combat training we we're paired for the first time ever, I was surprised and confused at the same time since I wasn't allowed to even come near her for a good 6 feet radius because the superiors heard about the rumored fued between us about the rank and all so I was caught slightly off guard hearing we we're partnered up on a sparring match, of all things" I cringe the same time he did
Why the hell?—
"I wasn't a bit relieved when she didn't gave any type of emotion even though we all know she's not thrilled with the whole partnering ordeal." Scratching the back of his head, his gaze went to the sleeping Zaia between us "but what shocked me the most was the fact that she wasn't fighting back at all..." he trailed off pursing his lips as my eyebrows once again raised in confusion
"She won't fight back? Why?"
Shrugging he continued "I don't know why exactly but honestly.. I was more pissed than to even try to understand her reasons behind it. I was so pissed that I shouted at her whilst she kept on sidestepping and dodging my attacks with that fucking stone-like expression of hers" his face fell into a deadpan before aggresively running a hand down to snoothen his face "I shouted 'I'm sick of your bullshit!"'
I jumped from my chair startled at his sudden outburst with my eyes wide all while he continued as if he didn't just scare the living crap out of me
I look down at Zaia who is thankfully still sleeping soundly with the heart beat monitor beeping normally
"The only response I got was a blink. Blink! She had the fucking guts to blink at my rage!" He grit his teeth before sending a half hearted glare at the said woman "and that's not all... she won't freaking fight back at me just dodge block and shit as she look at me down as if I was just another dirt by her feet!"
I snort at him before sending him a sheepish grin when he narrowed his eyes at me this time
"But I didn't stop there, no, I was so pissed that I kept shouting, taunting her with each attack I send her way. That point almost all of the attention was on us but I didn't stop attacking, as she didn't stop dodging. Then little by little I realized why I was paired with her... little by little my words are getting through her head... little by little she began to fight back" he glanced at me as if to see if I was still listening which I intently was "that went on for what felt like hours that I could feel the entire energy and adrenaline in me draining, I was reaching my stamina limit, My attacks getting weaker and sloppier with every passing second whilst hers grew more and more murderous the look in her eyes made me feel chills— kidding—"
"You're that scared huh?" I can't help but ask teasingly as he purse his lips
A pregnant pause
"...Honestly.. It was but I was more— but yes I was scared—don't tell her that." He warned me with a point of his index finger and I playfully raised both my hands in mock surrender "seriously... she was a very different person that time, not even our trainor could stop her from trying to kill me" he chuckled but I could tell it was force by how he rubbed his chest as if remembering her hits "then I think my last comment really hit home, it was like a switch on her just flipped and she snapped.."
I was about to question what was it about but he beat me into it
"I called her a spoiled brat"
Spluttering in my own spit I gape at his blank face with my jaw hanging in disbelief
"You have no idea how the exact same opposite of that discription you had for me, I had never been spoiled, I had no one to do that for me. I never needed someone to spoil me or assist me in the past, and I sure as hell don't need someone doing that shit for me now or even in the near future"
"She spat in my ear after having me in a headlock" he rubbed his neck as if remembering her arm around it "I was left panting and speechless by the bomb she just dropped on me... and to think that we are pretty similar was kind of nostalgic—and I felt extreme guilt after that"
She never had someone...
She was alone... that's what she meant wasn't it?
Where was her parents during those times she was left suffering such loneliness?
"Since the exhaustion was already getting through me, it had already weakened me to the point I was left completely defenseless against my attacker aka Zaia... After that bombshell she still didn't stop and went full on offensive mode on me, I was half expecting that her hits would be more sloppy and unfocused since we all know that rage makes you hit blindly and act irrationally in shit like that" I nodded in agreement "but in her case it was the complete opposite. Her rage is what fuels her hidden strength, her overwhelming power that it made her look more like a threat than a protector.."
"Its like she loses sight on everything with the only clear intent on defeating someone... it made her dangerous.. it made her look like a threat than a protector" he trailed off thoughtfully before locking gazes with mine "I stick with dodging as she let off her pent up rage she still had in her... , I let her completely let go of her control and became her punching bag, I gave a sign to our trainer to assure him that I can handle it and to also let us be for a while when he would try to step forward and intervene.. and thankfully he'd listen and kept the students from interfering"
He sighed loudly
"...it was bound to happen after all... it isn't healthy if she kept those kind of emotions all bottled up... she was bound to pop open and let off some steam once in a while" I piped in raising a hand to gently brush the growing baby hairs from her forhead and trail my knuckles softly down to her cheek as I took my time staring at her somehow softened features "but in her case beating up a defenseless and motionless materials wasn't enough that she would spent almost everyday and a lot of hours beating it up.... she needed that boost of taunting you just did to pour out all her bottled up emotions for her to be able to feel at ease even for a short period of time"
I was still distractedly tracing the tips of my fingers on her cold face when I heard his deep and breathless chuckle making my movents halt alltogether feeling flustered all of a sudden
"I said too much didn't—"
"You know when she made that comeback I always thought that she has to be wrong... and turns out I'm right." He dragged out a long sigh in content once more as his head rolled back to the back of his chair, and face the cieling "she never had someone in the past... you are childhood friends right?.. she would never need someone in the future, she say?... Pfft! She should realize how fucking wrong she is on that part" he snorted in amusement
Blinking at him confused he turned his head from the ceiling to me with a goofy grin before shaking his head
"Nevermind that"
Furrowing my eyebrows at him slightly before shaking my head at him in return
She's wrong.. on what part of that exactly?
She never needed someone... maybe he meant that she's wrong since I—
Impossible... how could I think such a thing? After abandoning her all those years..?
I looked down once more Zaia.. then hesitantly reaching out my hand again
She might still haven't forgiven me about that...
I, the umpth time this day scan her face—
Wait... what's that?
Tipping her chin up slightly my eyes widened at what I found
"Oh that? I kind of—uh.. did that—on that same day" scratching the back of his head with a sheepish look he sent me an apologetic smile " I uh happen to use the strength I had in me when she wouldn't stop her assault at me and threw her over my shoulder her front crashing down the pavement exactly by the edge of the mat—"
"You—you what?!" I can't help but shout in accusation "she could have much more wounds—what happened to her?"
"Woah easy—"
I didn't thought I was already standing from the chair that was now discarded on the tiled floor by the force
Running my hand down my face I sighed "I'm sorry, continue" I waved and fixed the chair
"Okay..." he blinked at me before that smirk of his once again made an appearance "as I said she hit the cemented floor on her front, for a few moments she just stayed there lying motionlessly that I became concerened and so does the crowd that had formed, she didn't shout, whimper, or even cry out in pain" he shook his head crossing his arms against his chest as my eyebrows once again shoot up expectantly "then turns out I knocked her out as I caught sight of her bleeding face"
"I'm sorry okay! She broke 3 of my ribs too you know?!"
"How bad was it?" I narrowed my eyes at him
"Her nose broke" he cringed and I bit the inside of my cheek "a cut on her lip...and—" he hesitated making me stare at him suspiciously thinking about the worse possible in juries she might've had
"And her chin split, that they had to do 3 stitches on her wound.. isn't that right?" I raised an eyebrow challenging him to lie
He nodded slowly reluctantly all while chewing his lip in nervousness
I don't even know why he looks at me as if I could injure him in anyway despite the gun on his waist and his skills that could probably knock me out without me realizing it
"It was already in the past anyways" I sighed dragging a hand down my face as the other one find its way on Zaia's hand once more
I open my eyes and stare at his expectant and wary look that made me feel a twinge of amusement inside
Did he thought I would attack him?
Well it sounds tempting
"Then? Go on" I urged with a raised of my eyebrows
He blink at me once again with confusion and relief flashing across his features
"Okay... um—then after I apologized at the infirmary, after her long and awkwardly staring at me as if she was trying to find a lie with her cold stare then she might've found none of that because she sighed in exhaution and close her eyes I thought she was going to rest—" he halted with a ghost of a smile on his lips as his eyes glued on his phone once again "as I was just getting ready to get out I heard her voice not the usual scary and intimidating tone and I was too shocked at her to even realize that she's already fast asleep on the infirmary bed leaving me to think if I did hear her thank me or I was just going nuts" he gave a deadpan look on her "then I kept annoying her ever since then we still sometimes tie in ranking but we became unaffected by it which also surprised me seeing her just shrugged and shook her head whenever we saw the board... and we became besties ever since and his father paired us and also became the top special agents outranking everyone in the agency" he ranted his eyes and voice dripping with pride that made me feel something I had never felt before and frown
With my grip sliding off of Zaia's cold one I hummed forcing a smile to not get caught and push away the strange feeling of discomfort in the pit of my stomach
Now... I understand what he meant earlier...
She was wrong about what she said that she don't need anyone in the near future...
Because she have Lance now...
And I know in the near future... she would still have Lance..
And I have no right to oppose to that... I..
..have no right at all