Skye's POV:
It's been about a month since Dean and I announced our separation to the WWE Universe which means it's been about a month since we've been apart.
After our announcement was sent out, we had a few days alone with each other. I helped him pack up his stuff from our place because he was moving to Florida to be closer to where AEW filmed their weekly shows. After a lot of consideration and offers, he chose to sign with AEW over all the other companies.
I was somewhat grateful he chose AEW because NJPW was in Japan and the time difference would have been insane for me. The thought of him that far away was already enough for me to lose it.
The last few days were a tough period for me because I didn't want him to actually leave. We had talked about how we were both fine with this, but I was an absolute wreck once the time came by to go.
My best friend and husband was leaving to Florida while I was going to stay in LA. It was only a three hour difference from each other, but still I didn't like it. I couldn't even tell you the last time we were apart, so him being away three hours ahead was going to be different.
I couldn't tell how Dean was feeling when we were packing up his stuff. I remember that we joked around here and there, but we mostly packed in silence as the faint sounds of one of my Spotify playlist played in the background.
We had a few last nights to be with each other and then the time for him to leave came. A few days slipped away into a moment of time so quickly. It was bittersweet to say the least.
On one hand, I was happy that he was finally pursuing what he wanted. He would no longer be held back by creative differences and shitty storylines. AEW was his second chance at regaining his love for wrestling. He deserved to tell his story the right way and AEW was gonna give him that opportunity.
On the other hand, I was sad because it meant that our separation period would finally be setting in. I've never experienced separation before, at least not like this. We weren't exactly getting divorced, but we weren't exactly staying together either. It's a weird situation for the both of us.
We gave each other our blessing to be with whoever the other chose. I still love him so much and I just know it's going to be hard seeing him with another woman that's not me. I get jealous easily and it's gonna hurt me once he starts seeing someone new.
Being with someone for over six years and all of a sudden separating was insane to me. I feel like I grew up with him even though we were adults when we first met. I discovered so much about myself with him and it has led me to become the woman I am today. It's all because of him.
He taught me to love myself and do what makes me happy which is probably why he wanted this separation too. He felt like he was holding me back from doing what I love.
On my end, I didn't want to hold him back and make him feel like he had to stay with the WWE just because I was still with them. WWE was his home for several years and he was an absolute workhorse there. However, whenever one door closes, another one opens and that door happens to be AEW.
I would never want him to put my happiness first, so in my eyes this separation was meant more for him. It was finally time for him to put himself first after putting me first for the past six years of our relationship.
I was the one who took him to the airport. I wanted to be the last one to see him off and he wanted me to be the last.
He had said goodbye to Roman and Seth prior and they were both as sad as I am. They wished him the best and knew that he was going to do all the things he used to talk about doing.
We said goodbye at the airport and stayed in each other's embrace until it was time for him to board the plane. Watching him walk away made the whole separation really feel real.
It's been a month since that day. Dean and I have been texting here and there, but not often as I would want. I've been wanting to give him his space and time to adjust to living in Florida.
The first few weeks of him being gone where extremely tough for me, but I got through them because of Nikki and Brie.
They both ended up moving to Napa Valley recently and have been keeping me company. Nikki has a place in LA and she's been staying there because Artem is doing Dancing with the Stars. Brie flies down here as well to keep me company as Bryan is also working with AEW.
However without them, I think I'd be a complete wreck. I've been putting on a front whenever I'm on Raw, but it's still hard for me to adjust to normal without Dean's presence everyday.
I actually have been taking a break from the WWE and I'm unsure when I'll be back. I just wanted some time away to do more and find out more about what I want from my life.
I was currently at a coffee shop nearby my house with Nikki. We try to meet up at least once a week along with Brie, but this week Brie had some errands to run with Birdie and Buddy so she couldn't make it.
"I think coffee's become an addiction for me..." I told Nikki as she laughed.
"Girl, what are you saying, it's been!" She replied as we drank our coffee.
"So how have you been since the last time I saw you?" She asked me.
"Since last week? I think I'm doing much better. It's weird, when I'm alone I feel so sad and I just lay in bed. When I'm out with you and Brie, I just forget about him. I don't even know to be honest with you..." I trailed off.
"I think how you're feeling is normal Skye. I felt the same way after John and I split officially. It was tough adjusting to my new routine without him in the picture. It felt like I was nothing without him and I couldn't function without him. As time went by, I finally realized that I'm my own person and my life didn't depend on him." Nikki explained to me as I nodded.
"I'm sure I'll feel that way as time goes by, but right now it's so hard for me to adjust being single again. We were together for over 6 years and he was there almost everyday for me. And now, I'm doing things alone without his input. It's just very different right now." I told her.
"That's perfectly understandable! Same with John, I felt like my life depending on him and without him, I was completely worthless. It's okay to feel this way, but you are your own person Skye. I know you guys love each other, but now is the time for you to do whatever you want. You met him at 24 and now you're about to turn 31 in a few months. Most of your 20s were spent with him and you weren't able to do the fun things that others would do in their 20s! Now it's time for you to do you Skye!" She exclaimed.
"Thanks Nikki, I think that's what I'm going to do. I've already taken a break from the WWE for now and I'm not sure when I'll come back. I'm reminded so much of Dean when I was there, so I needed to get away. Vince understood and told me to take as much time away as I needed." I said.
"Good! Pursue whatever you want! I know you can sing and you can act! Do whatever makes you happiest Skye!" Nikki said as she laughed at me.
"Exactly, I've already gotten set up with a bunch of auditions and I've been meeting up with songwriters as well! I'm just trying to expand my horizons more and show that I'm capable of doing everything." I expressed to Nikki.
"And I know that you're going to excel at everything you do! I have no doubt about that." She said as she gave me a hug.
Thanks to Nikki's words, I feel so much better about how my life is going. I was feeling lost, but after this talk, she made me realize that I was capable of so much more. My life didn't just depend on Dean. I'm my own person and with or without him, I can achieve my own goals. He'll always be a big part of my life, but it's time for me to take matters into my own hands and make myself happy.
A lingering thought will always stay in my mind which is I hope Dean's doing well without me. I'll always worry about him and maybe someday, we'll be able to talk and update each other about our lives. I look forward to that each and everyday.
Seeing him live life without me is going to suck and I hate even thinking about it, but it's going to happen regardless of how I feel and what I want. I just have to be happy for him and if he's happy, then I can't stop him from finding what he loves even if that may no longer be me. I can only support him from the sidelines from now on. And I just hope that he does the same for me.
•••
hellooo! surprise update for i found you!! it's been quite a long time since i've updated this story, so i'm kind of concerned if you guys would like it or not!!
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