"Reid was shot."
—
"I-is he- okay?" You managed to ask, your hands violently shaking. You felt tears fall from your eyes, and you covered your mouth from making any noise.
"He.. He went into surgery just now. He wasn't crashing when he got to the hospital, but he lost a lot of blood. Y/n, I thought he was going to die in my arms. I really thought so."
"J-just call me if I can- somehow get there? And s-see him? I n-need.." You sobbed into your hand, collapsing to the ground. "De-rek please.." You wailed.
"Y/n? Are you okay?" You heard the distant voice of Penelope, but didn't respond to her.
"I can send you the address to the hospital, it's going to be a four hour drive for you." Derek suggested.
"I-I need to see him. I need- I need- to.. Please. Send the address." You hugged your body with one arm, trying to stop your shaking.
"Alright. Check your email, everything will be there. Hotel and hospital. Are you okay though y/n?"
You hung up the phone, though the genuine concern in Derek's voice was so heartwarming.
"Y/n, talk to me." Penelope turned you around by your shoulder, revealing your tear stained face. "Who was that on the phone, babe?"
She took the phone out of your hand and read the contact
Spencer Reid 12:01 am 5:45 minutes
"What was Spencer calling about?" She held your arms, trying to focus on your face.
"It-it wasn't Spencer." Your voice cracked as you said his name. "Derek called from Spencer's phone to tell me that he was shot-" You whimpered as you spoke the words aloud, beginning to feel the effects of the news.
"Oh my god! Is he okay??" You opened your mouth to speak, but no words were coming out.
"Come here. Y/n, it's okay. I'm sure he's fine. You know how strong he is." She brought you into a tight hug. The way Penny spoke made your mind flashback to when you were holding Spencer in your arms.
"Spencer. You are the most complex and absolutely breathtaking human being I have ever met." His head and torso rested atop your lap, his arms tightly wrapped around your waist. You ran one hand through his hair soothingly, the other rubbing his back.
"You're so strong all the time, Spence. You're always the one that stores away their feelings, and I need you to know that you don't have to do that with me." As you spoke, you heard heart-shattering sobs coming from him, muffled by your body.
He shook softly and his grip around you tightened.
"It's o-it's okay! You're okay now Spence-r." You leaned back into the corner of the couch and pulled him by the underside of his arms, lifting his head to rest on your chest.
You chest ached as you vividly remember the way his arms around your waist felt, with his head resting against your body.
You couldn't stand the way you were feeling, you felt like your world was ending.
Five days before your 26th birthday, and your world was shot in the chest.
"P-penny, I need to see him now." You whispered against her shoulder, sniffling. "I think I've fall- I just.. I need to drive to the hospital, now." Penelope pulled away from you and studied your face.
"Y/n, you've had too much to drink, you can't go right now!"
"What- what if I get there later and then it's too late?! I'll never get to tell him that I love him!" You blurted out with your voice raised slightly.
Penny's mouth dropped open, and you covered yours.
You felt like an idiot.
"Are you telling me the truth? You're in love with Spencer Reid? What.. How.."
"Penny! This is not the time to figure out how everything 'makes sense' just now! I need to go!" You took your phone back from Penelope and ordered an Uber to pick you up.
"Please try to find a flight or something. We don't need you to get hurt, too!" Penelope called to you, watching you walk down the sidewalk. The Uber picked you up in a matter of minutes, and as you were driven away, you could see Emily and JJ walk out of the club entrance and up to Penelope. You turned your head back forwards, and took some deep breaths.
After you got to your apartment, you stripped of your tight dress and heels. You had cried off most of your makeup, so all of it resided on the bottom half of your face.
You washed it off of your face and tied up your hair in a bun, and returned to your closet to grab clothes that were comfortable to drive in. You quickly dressed in sweats and a tank top with a zip hoodie over it.
It was Spencer's hoodie. He had given it to you when you had first met.
It was pouring outside, and you sighed heavily, looking in the backseat of your car. No umbrella. How were you supposed to know that it would be pouring rain by the time you got to work? Not to mention on your very first day at the base in Virginia. How embarrassing.
You took your bag off of the passenger seat and opened your car door, holding the bag over your head as you exited the vehicle. Once you began walking, you heard someone shout not far behind you.
"Hey! Wait! Use this." You turned around and watched as a young man approach you, holding a sweatshirt over his head. "Here. So your things don't get ruined." He gave you a kind smile, and you reciprocated.
"Thank you... Uh.. What's your name?" You received the hoodie and began to hold it over your head, the item of clothing successfully stopping a good amount of rain from drenching your own clothes. You both began jogging to the door.
"I'm Dr. Spencer Reid. And you?"
You opened the door to the office quickly, shaking off the rain droplets from your hair.
"I'm Agent y/n y/l/n. Nice to meet you, Doctor. I've heard a lot about you." You grinned, sticking out your hand for him to shake. He took it respectfully, shaking your hand softly.
"So I take it you're the new addition to our team?" You walked to the elevator and he pressed the button for the floor to the base's office.
"Yep, that's me." You nodded, entering the elevator beside him.
"Well, if you ever need help with anything, let me know. I have a feeling we will get along well."
You pulled yourself back into the present, letting out a long breath. You took out a small bag and packed essentials and a couple days worth of clothes. You knew you wouldn't want to leave once you got there.
You picked up your keys and paused, going to your fridge and grabbing an energy drink. You drank the whole thing and shook out your body, hoping you'd be able to drive to Baltimore safely.
The amount of stress and worry you felt brought you to a somewhat sober state of mind, despite the certain alcohol induced feelings you continued to feel. You filled a large water bottle and left the apartment. Once you packed up your car, you sat in the driver's seat for a couple minutes to focus.
You drove. There was barely anyone on the roads, but you gripped your steering wheel tightly, focusing on getting to your destination in one piece. You were exhausted, but continued to remind yourself that you needed to keep going.
One hour passed, and you turned on the radio. You felt a little more sober, but felt sick.
The second hour of the drive passed, and you had to pull over to throw up. You felt much better after that, but continued to keep the loud music on to remain alert.
The third hour passed, and you began to fidget. You wondered if the surgery was over, you wondered if you were too late.
You had to tell him how you felt.
You couldn't let him die not knowing that you were in love with him.
You didn't think he felt the same, but you didn't care.
You had to tell him.
You went over in your head how you would say it.
'Spence, I love you.' No.
'Spencer, I'm falling in love with you.' Ugh, no.
'Spencer, I needed to come see you as soon as Derek told me what happened. I would never forgive myself if I missed the opportunity-' No! That sounds like I'm comparing him to a last minute vacation.
"Shit.." You mumbled aloud.
You checked the remaining driving time left from the directions set up on your phone's map. You were 20 minutes away from the hospital. You rubbed your eyes with one hand, and let out a yawn. You could tell that the sun would be rising in maybe 30 to 40 minutes.
As you entered downtown Baltimore, you called Derek.
"Hey, y/n." His voice was lowered.
"Hey, I'm a couple minutes away.. I-" You yawned and sniffled, 'Any updates?"
Derek sighed into the phone. "Not yet. His surgery will be over soon, though. At least that's what the nurses are telling me."
You bit the inside of your cheek. "Alright. Should I meet you in the main entrance?"
"Yes. I'll be there, with coffee."
You laughed softly. "Thanks, Morgan."
You hung up and tossed your phone on the passenger's seat, continuing to drive through the city.
—
"Hi! It's so good to see you. I'm glad you got here safe." You melted in Derek's embrace, and then pulled away, accepting the second coffee he was holding.
"I'm glad too. I'm going to be honest, I was in the middle of drinking my feelings away as you called me." You zipped up Spencer's hoodie, shivering.
You hated hospitals, they were always so cold.. And almost every time you went to visit someone in the hospital, they've died.
"Wow, I'm impressed, y/n. Don't tell Hotch about where you were before you got here, he'd send you to the janitor's closet and call it your new 'office'." Your eyebrows raised slightly as he mentioned the janitor's closet, but you brushed it off.
"I think my adrenaline kind of got me through it all." You spoke as Derek began walking you to the surgical wing's waiting area.
"Yeah, speaking of which, are you okay? I asked you over the phone, but you were disconnected or something." You stepped into the elevator, and Derek pressed the button to the surgery level.
You sighed, realizing you'd probably have to tell Derek everything.
So you did.
"... So that's why I went out drinking, and lost my shit over the phone. And drove here like a maniac."
Derek's face was shocked, to say the least.
".. You're in love with boy genius?" His voice slightly raised in pitch.
"Yep."
"Wow. I mean I've been curious about you two being such good friends, but it all makes sense now. Especially you being the only number on his speed dial. That was definitely suspicious."
You chuckled softly. "Yeah.. I actually didn't even know he had done that."
You exited the elevator, and walked down the hall, taking a seat in the waiting area. Derek sat beside you, placing a hand over yours.
"He should be out soon. From operating room #5, I think." Derek promised, taking a sip of his coffee. The doors to the O.R hall had large windows on them, so you would be able to see Spencer come out after surgery.
"Oh, god. This coffee's shit, I'm going to go get something else to drink." Derek left to go to down the hall for a different drink, leaving you alone to stare at the O.R doors.
There were only a few other people scattered throughout the waiting area, and the somber air made the hairs on the back of your neck raise.
A kind looking woman approached you, along with an unreadable expression. "Hello, are you here waiting with Derek Morgan?"
Something caught your attention behind the nurse, and you glanced behind her. You blankly nodded with an anxious look on your face, eyes still looking through the O.R doors. You could make out two surgeons or nurses wheeling out a body covered in a sheet, and you felt bile rise in your throat.
"Spencer. Dr. Spencer Reid. Is- is he okay?" You squeaked, clutching onto your knees.
She looked down at her clipboard, and back up at you, clearing her throat.
"I've been told that the surgery was very long and difficult, but he's currently alive and well, resting in a post-op room."
You felt tears run down your face, and your lips quivered.
"Y/n! What happened, is he okay?" Derek had noticed you crying into your hands, and ran the rest of the way down the hallway.
"He's in post-op room #145, I'm sure you both will be able to visit him right about now." The nurse smiled at Derek, and then you, walking away.
"I knew he was going to pull through. I knew it." Derek breathed, crouching in front of you.
"Y/n, come on, let's go see him."
As you approached room 145, your heart leaped into your throat. You twisted the handle of the door, and let out a soft gasp. His face was slightly bruised and cut up, a few stitches across his cheekbone. His arms didn't have much damage to them, as the bullet went through the his chest, right below his collarbone.
You pulled a chair close to Spencer's bed, and sat your things on the floor, placing your hands gently on one of his.
You rested your forehead on the side of the bed.
And fell asleep as the sun rose.
—
You woke up with blurred vision, and blinked until things came into focus. Spencer still seemed to be sleeping, and so was Derek. It was now around 8:00 am, you checked. You probably had multiple missed calls from the girls back at the office, but you didn't bother to check.
You returned your gaze on Spencer, and flinched as you felt his hand move under yours.
"Spence?" You whispered softly, leaning closer to him. You saw his eyes flutter, he was beginning to wake up.
His hazel eyes opened, and your lips parted as they looked up at you.
"Spencer." Your hands trembled as you reached up and delicately pushed his hair back from his forehead.
He licked his lips and a weak grin splayed across his face. His voice was soft and gravely.
"I love you."