When I open the door to the main hall of my house, I see the Marathon only lasts for another half hour.
And there it is. The envelope with my results, laying on the ground in the darkness. I kneel and take it, staring at the logo from Chilton High School. My hand shaking when the light in the hall goes on, and I see Lydia coming downstairs.
'Madelaine, it is five in the morning, why are you -' She starts but immediately shuts up when she sees the terror on my face.
'What happened?' She asks quickly and sits beside me on the ground. I don't even have a clue myself.
'Luke knows that I'm basically living here by myself. He doesn't care you and Gilbert are here, he thinks I need my parents around', I explain slowly. My voice nothing more than a simple whisper. I don't have the courage to speak up anymore.
'You finally told him?' She asks. I look up at her, tears in my eyes and I throw my results against the wall, my whole body shaking. 'Jess did', I hiss and she takes me in her arms.
'Maddy, maybe you should let go of the past. It seems like he only hurts you', she whispers while rubbing over my back. I know she is right, I have known it for months now but can't bring up the idea of actually letting him go.
There is something about Jess, something good, I have seen it in New York. Maybe people indeed change. Lydia takes the envelope with my results, handing it back to me.
'I'm sure Luke wants to know how great you studied', she says encouraging. I smile vague at her and stand up, sighing by the thought of walking all the way back.
'You can also tell Jess that he has to piss off', she adds smiling but I shake my head a little sad. 'What if I do the opposite? Telling him what I actually feel', I say.
'Your heart could be broken', she notices carefully but I don't care. Maybe it is the fact I am tired, maybe I am just stupid. I can't let go of him. 'I'm back in an hour', I say before I take my coat and jump of the stairs towards the street.
The only thing I could hope for is that he stayed at the marathon, and that he is willing to talk. I'm not sure what it is that has been bothering him, but we should be able to talk about it, that is what we should've done from the beginning.
When I arrive at the gym I see Jess sitting on the tribune, getting a look of the other couples that are still dancing. Kirk and his partner are all in for it, but Rory could fall down in any second. I'm not sure were Lorelai went, but Rory is now holding onto Dean who seems more annoyed than I have ever seen him.
That is the moment I notice Jess is staring at them, intimidating Dean. I walk over to them, not sure of my steps when I hear Rory mumble irritated.
'You talking about me?' Jess says while closing the book in his hands and I hold still when Rory's gaze follows him. 'No'.
'You got a problem here?' He asks again and sits a little more straight. Dean and Rory release each other in a second and I can see how desperate he is. 'No, I'm getting a little sick of seeing you sitting there if you are not even going to participate', she catches back.
'Well, I'm going to sit here as long as I like and I'm going to do whatever I like, and if you don't like it than just ignore me and pay attention to your boyfriend', Jess answers her. I take a step back, wanting to stay out of this when Dean releases Rory completely and pushes her aside.
'Sorry, she can't. I'm not her boyfriend anymore', he mumbles. All three of our mouths fall open, some amused and others in pain. 'What?' Rory asks confused.
'You know, I tried to ignore this, but I don't know what the hell I was thinking!' Rory sighs a little stunned, dropping her arms next to her body. 'What are you talking about?'
'You don't want to be with me Rory', he reminds her. I sit down on the tribune, looking at everyone who is watching this horrible scene. Luckily most of the participants are already asleep on the dirty ground.
'Yes I do', she defends herself but Dean doesn't buy it. 'Please. You've been into him since he got to town and I spend weeks, months actually, to try to convince myself that it wasn't true, that everything was fine between us but now I know that I was an idiot! You are into him and he is into you', Dean struggles to gets the words out.
With every word he says, Rory sinks deeper, knowing that what he says is true. Everyone has seen this coming, even I did.
'Everyone can see it Rory! Everyone, and I'm tired, but I'm over it, so go ahead. Go. Be together! There is nothing standing in your way now, cuz I am out.' With that last sentence Dean walks past me out of the gym, Rory running in the opposite direction towards the back door.
Jess and I meet for a second in confusion and I am trying to remember what I was about to say, knowing that it doesn't make sense after all. Dean was right, Rory likes Jess and Jess likes Rory. When I don't say anything, Jess turns around and runs after Rory. I sink down on the floor, barely able to breathe. I lost him.