Dear Rowyn,
My time is coming near. I can feel it. Aslan has begun to talk to me in my sleep so it's only a matter of days until my time runs out. But I wanted to send you this before I go. Inside you'll find many of Peter's belongings that he suggested I give to you when he speaks to me in my dreams as well. There's some paintings, some of his old sweaters that I think you'll love, his old pocket-watch, and his old locket that he wore every single day underneath his shirt. I suggest you open the locket to see what it holds. There's also one more thing in there. Everyday for those years you two were apart, Peter wrote you a letter. He was very lonely whenever we came back so I think writing to you helped him cope with living in a world without you. I've never read them—to respect his privacy since he refused to let us anywhere near him when he wrote to you or even drew you—but I think it's important you have them and read them. They are meant for you after all.
I hope that by having these items you won't make the same mistake I did. I forgot about Narnia and even you for a bit of my life and I pray to God that you won't experience that as well. Keep these items and remember that Narnia was real. That Peter was real. Your love for him and his love for you were two of the realest things to ever occur in his life so please don't forget. Live your life fully, Rowyn. Live boldly. Just live, Rowyn. Once my time has come I'll be with you just as Peter has. Every step of the way, you'll never be alone.
I love you,
Susan Pevensie-Abbott
Rowyn blinked away her tears and allowed them to splash down to the wood floor beneath them. "Jesus Christ." Rowyn set the letter down and wiped her cheeks.
"My God even I'm crying what the hell." Andy laughed as she wiped her own cheeks followed by Nate.
Andy grabbed the multiple stacks of letters that rested between some of the sweaters in the box. "Holy shit."
"How many years were you apart in his time?" Nate questioned as he observed the multiple huge stacks of envelopes.
"Seven, I think maybe six I don't know."
"That's two-thousand letters?" Andy's eyes widened as she did some quick math in her head.
"That man really loved you, huh?" Rowyn smiled softly as Nate muttered those words under his breath.
"Wait a second, these sweaters are actually really cute . . . would Peter mind if I borrowed one?" Nate questioned as he grabbed one of the sweaters out of the box.
Rowyn grabbed it from his hands. "Hey, get your own husband who's like seventy years older than you and already dead."
"You mean a sugar daddy?" Andy snorted from beside Rowyn and Rowyn bit her lip to stop a loud laugh.
Andy grabbed a journal that rested in the box as well as flicked through the different pencil drawings within it while Rowyn grabbed the pocket-watch and locket. Rowyn's heart slammed against her chest when she saw that small painting of her that rested inside the locket, just like the locket she wore around her own neck with a picture of him inside.
"Holy shit!" Andy exclaimed suddenly. "I found Rowyn's porn!" She laughed and turned to journal to face Nate and Rowyn.
Rowyn's cheeks heated as a pencil sketch of her bare body rested on the page. "Damn, Rowyn, do you really look like this?" Nate questioned as he leaned forward to observe the drawing more.
The whole page dedicated to that one night on the beach was the one that they all observed. He drew her on top of him as he held her body close. He drew the way her face put off a soft glow against the flames she produced that night. He even drew the way her face contorted as she hit her climax.
"He really didn't want to forget anything did he?" Andy asked.
Rowyn looked up from the journal and nodded. "I was the same way . . . that's why I painted everything I could remember on my bedroom wall."
"Wait so did you paint Peter naked . . . on your bedroom wall?" Andy's eyebrows kissed as she smirked.
"No! No . . . I saved those for a more private journal just like he did." Rowyn smirked as Andy shook her head with a smile. Rowyn closed the journal and set it down on the table before standing up and grabbing one of the larger paintings that rested in the box as well and had been covered by the sweaters.
Nate looked at the painting from beside Rowyn. "Man, he was a great artist." He smiled at the painting of Rowyn and Peter on their wedding day. "Did he pursue a career in that? Like you are?"
Rowyn shook her head and set the painting down. "He wanted to pursue a career in medicine but I think he passed before he could finish school for it." Nate bit the inside of his cheek.
"At least he's happier now . . . right?" Andy questioned.
Rowyn turned to her and nodded. "Yeah, I think he is." Rowyn took a deep breath and put everything back in the box and began to head for her room. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some letter's to read."
....
Rowyn sat on her bed cuddling into one of Peter's sweaters as rain danced down her window. As the soft material warmed her body along with the faint scent of Peter that filled her nose she read her twentieth note.
Dear Wynne,
Everyday it's harder. Lucy tries to help as much as she can but she knows that she can't fully understand what it's like for me. I never should've followed her into that wardrobe. The moment I realized where we were I should've pulled you back and grown old with you in Narnia. I hate myself for not doing so. I miss you. It's physically hurts my chest, my arms, even my legs, to think about the fact that you aren't even alive in this world yet. I am completely and utterly alone. I really wish you were here. You'd know what to do. What to say. You would be able to take away the pain. Maybe I'm being dramatic, I don't know. Mum wants to take me to the doctor. She's worried that I haven't stopped painting or even left my room in a few days. But I need to paint you. I can't risk forgetting. The thought of losing my memories of you is scarier than anything else. I hope that your okay and safe in your time. That you haven't forgotten me. That I left a permanent part of your mind and heart stamped with my love for you.
I can't do this.
Rowyn's own tears dripped down to her chest as she noticed—along with the small drops of paint on the parchment—there were small crinkled spots where tears had once dropped. Rowyn pulled her knees to her chest and ran her fingertips over the spots.
"You're reading them." Peter said suddenly causing Rowyn to jump and turn to him. His face fell when he saw the tears on her cheeks and her puffy eyes.
Peter moved to the other side of her bed and sat down beside her and wrapped his arm around her. Even though she couldn't feel his touch, the gesture warmed her heart. "Is this all true? Did you really feel like this?"
Peter hesitated a moment before nodded. "It was horrible . . . I only expressed a little bit of how I felt in these letters . . . some things can't be expressed through words though."
Rowyn looked at him through her tears. "You really thought that I possibly forgot you?" Peter fiddled with his thumb before nodding. "Pete . . ."
"I wasn't in a good place when we came back. I felt trapped. I had grown up and been a King only to be forced back to the real world and back into my child body while also being forced to live without the person I connected my soul to . . . I just felt empty all the time." Peter took a deep breath and then turn his eyes back to her.
"Do you feel that now?"
Peter shook his head as Rowyn sniffled. "Not at all . . . though there are still days where I wake up and see you aren't beside me where I feel sad or empty—hell I don't even know how to explain how I feel when that happens—but then I come back here and I see you smiling and happy and it . . . it takes that all away."
Rowyn sniffled again. "Man I really wish I could kiss you right now." Peter let out a small laugh along with Rowyn.
"I always knew that sweater would look good on you." Peter said after Rowyn stood up to grab some tissue to wipe her eyes.
Rowyn looked down at the sweater she wore and that rested just below her black undergarments. "It still smells like you." Rowyn said after throwing away the tissue and coming to sit in front of Peter again. "It's very comfortable."
Peter stared at her for a moment with a smile. "You have no idea how much I miss you . . ." He said quietly to his wife.
Rowyn gave a small smile. "I miss you too." Peter caressed her cheek with his fingertips but all Rowyn felt was cold air drifted across her skin.
After removing his hand from her cheek, Peter took a deep breath and then spoke. "How's your dad?"
Rowyn's shoulders instantly dropped and her happy expression fell. "Not good . . . this surgery had more complications then positives. I've prepared myself for the phone call saying that he's gone . . ."
"Wynne . . ." Peter said, scooting a bit closer and grabbing her hand.
"If he . . . passed on would he go to Aslan's Country?" Rowyn asked, keeping her gaze down at her hands to prevent him from seeing her watery eyes.
Peter squeezed her hand. "Yeah, he would . . . you'd see him again." Rowyn nodded and exhaled deeply.
"Good . . ." Rowyn scratched her nose and then stood from the bed to walk to the other side. "Will you stay tonight?"
Peter smiled at her as she climbed into her bed and opened the other side for him. "I always do." Rowyn thanked him and then turned in the bed as he climbed in to turn off her lamp. With another exhale, Rowyn's head fell down onto her pillow once darkness had consumed her bedroom. Cold air caressed her skin as Peter wrapped his arm around her waist. "I love you . . . you're strong and no matter what happens I'll be with you."
Rowyn smiled slightly into the dark night around them. "Thank you, Pete . . . I love you." And after that, Rowyn allowed sleep to consume her and this time no nightmares plagued her sleep.