"I don't think I can do this," Kelsey said suddenly, her voice panicked. "I can't do it."
Niall jerked his head to glance over at Kelsey, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. She was staring straight ahead, and he could only imagine the thoughts racing through that brilliant mind of hers.
"A little too late for that love," Niall laughed softly, setting his hand atop Kelsey's. "We're already here."
Niall turned the wheel, bringing his black Range Rover to a stop in the driveway. There it was. It looked the same as it always had; scattered stones covering the lower level, grey-blue siding, the messily-painted flower pot Kelsey had made in the fifth on the front step, its contents empty for the winter. It's the home she hasn't stepped foot in for over a year.
But Kelsey knows as much as the outside still looks like her childhood home, the inside certainly isn't going to feel like it. Thanksgiving dinner isn't going to feel like it either- not when she hasn't been to a holiday gathering since her parents split. Kelsey gulped, swallowing the sour taste that had begun to rise in the back of her throat.
Maybe they could turn around right now. They could rent out a cabin in the Rocky Mountains for the weekend instead, and spend Thanksgiving wrapped up in a heavy plaid blanket next to a wood-burning fireplace, watching the Colorado snow fall outside. Now that sounded like a Thanksgiving celebration that Kelsey could get behind.
"Kelsey, look at me," Niall grabbed her gloved hand from across the black leather seat, as if he had read her mind. "It's going to be okay. We'll do it together."
When Kelsey's father had called and invited her to come home for Thanksgiving two weeks ago, Kelsey must have still been on the high of the end of things with Capitol, because she agreed without hesitation, not considering what exactly that meant. When she'd asked if she could bring someone along, her father happily agreed. Now, Kelsey couldn't even imagine standing outside her front door without Niall by her side. She squeezed his hand firmly as her hand reached up to ring the doorbell.
Kelsey and Niall hadn't broken the news of his departure from Capitol yet. They were waiting for everything to be finalized with his new label; for everything to be in order before chaos resumed. Kelsey knew their struggles weren't over. They still had a long way to go. But at least for now, things didn't have to be a secret anymore. It was refreshing, really, to have one less thing to worry about.
When Kelsey's father opened the door, Kelsey half expected him to look like a mess. She'd pictured her father appearing in front of her with a head full of grey hair, a new set of wrinkles and a tired, sad glimmer in his eyes. Instead she was shocked when he answered the door. His face seemed younger, his eyes brighter, and she'd wondered if maybe she'd gotten this whole affair thing wrong. Could it be possible that her father was now happier than he had been for the past few years?
"Kelsey!" he exclaimed, bringing her into his arms. She inhaled the scent of his signature sandalwood cologne. When Kelsey was little, there was no better cure for a bad day then a hug from her dad. The feeling was no different at 25- his scent and warmth instantly calming her nerves. "How's my favorite future lawyer?"
"I'm good Dad," she laughed, any hesitance about coming here today instantly dissipating seeing the smile on her father's face.
Seeming to remember that Kelsey hadn't come alone, Paul Benton stepped back, reaching out a hand towards Niall. "And you must be the lucky gentleman who has the pleasure of dating my daughter."
"That I am," Niall grinned, his eyes glancing to the side to meet Kelsey's. "Niall Horan, sir," Niall shook Kelsey's father's hand firmly.
"It's nice to meet you, Niall. I'm so glad you could join us. I'm so glad BOTH of you could join us. I was beginning to think that THIS one," Paul Benton theatrically pointed at Kelsey, "was avoiding me." Kelsey forced a small, guilty smile. "Come in, I've just put the turkey in the oven."
The inside of the house also looked just as Kelsey remembered. There were still pictures of Kelsey at various ages on the walls, several of which Kelsey hoped Niall didn't look at too closely in hopes of saving herself some embarrassment. The large black sectional was still a centerpiece in the room, the seats worn down from years of movie nights and football Sundays. The fireplace where the family had spent many an evening and many a Christmas gathering round looked precisely like she left it.
The only thing the house was missing was well...her mother.
"Can I get you two a glass of wine?" Kelsey's dad called from the kitchen, bringing Kelsey back to reality. She smiled as her father buzzed around the kitchen like a frantic party host.
"That would be great," Niall replied, looking towards Kelsey who gave him a nod. Niall made his way toward the kitchen. "Is there anything I can do to help sir?"
"Actually, I think everything's pretty much handled," Paul handed Niall a glass of red wine, before reaching out to give Kelsey a similar glass. "I like this one already," he said, giving Kelsey a wink. "Come on sit down, I want to hear all about what's going on in California."
Paul led Niall and Kelsey back into the living room, but not before Kelsey noticed a fourth place setting at the dining room table. She shrugged it off, thinking her father probably still wasn't quite used to the absence of a particular person from their family gatherings.
As Kelsey made her way to the living room, she spotted a family photo on the end table. She took a step forward, grabbing the silver frame in her left hand. Kelsey's wearing a pink tutu, with a grin so big it practically filled her face. Her mom and dad stand on either side of her, proud smiles on their faces. Everyone looked so happy. It was hard to believe that this little family had now been torn apart. Kelsey set the photo back down as her heart began to ache, making her way to the living room where Niall's laughter was already reverberating through the walls.
She takes a seat next to him, setting a hand on his thigh as she listened to Niall talk to her father. About Ireland, about guitars and about life in California. The conversation flowed with ease, and Kelsey knew this was why she had never doubted that Niall would make a good impression on her father. Plus, her father knew little about world-famous boybands or pop music, making him ignorant of Niall's celebrity status- a key piece of information that Kelsey had omitted when notifying her father of her new beau.
The oven timer dings, bringing a halt to Niall and Paul's conversation. Kelsey stood after her father, making her way to the kitchen to assist in the last minute meal preparations. She's fishing through the kitchen drawers in search of a serving spoon for the mashed potatoes when the doorbell rang.
"Niall, would you mind grabbing that?" Kelsey's dad called out. Kelsey looked at her father curiously. Who was he expecting? She certainly hoped he wasn't about to spring some new woman on her. Surprise Kelsey, I too, have been dating someone. She couldn't handle that. But when Niall opened the door, the figure that stood in the entryway was the last one that Kelsey expected.
"Mom? What are you doing here?" Kelsey's voice was quiet. There in the door stood Alicia Benton, her dark hair tied in a bun at the base of her neck, her hands clutching a baking dish which Kelsey could only assume held her signature pumpkin pie.
"I invited her," Kelsey's dad spoke up from behind her, placing a hand on. "We're still family Kelsey."
Kelsey barely has time to process the fact that her mother, the same mother who was responsible for the divorce of her parents, was here in her father's house for Thanksgiving dinner, before her father was rushing everyone around the dining room table and setting down the turkey.
A million questions raced through her mind. Had her mother come here because Kelsey had still been ignoring her calls? Had her parents been speaking to one another regularly? Or was this simply an attempt by her father to make this holiday seem normal?
Niall grabbed Kelsey's hand from underneath the table, gently rubbing circles with his thumb on her palm, as if to remind Kelsey that he was right here with her. That they could get through this together. Kelsey let out a small exhale.
The rolls barely made it around the table before Alicia Benton began her signature interrogation of their newest dinner guest. Sam had been to dinner at the Benton's at least five times before Kelsey's mother had even given him the smallest bit of a smile. Kelsey could only imagine what kind of things her mother had prepared for Niall. She hadn't even gotten a chance to warn him.
"Niall, I have to say I was shocked when Paul said that you would be here. It seemed like you may have had," Alicia paused, her eyes narrowing, "other family commitments for the holidays."
Niall's pulse quickened. He knew exactly what commitments Alicia Benton was talking about. "I think I know what you are referring to Ms. Benton, but you should know that those tabloids will print anything to get themselves sales."
"I told you, Alicia, it was nothing to worry about," Kelsey's father stated, turning his attention to Kelsey's mother. Kelsey's face twists in confusion once again, her parents were reading tabloids? And talking about them?
"Oh don't look so shocked my dear," Alicia mused, catching Kelsey's mouth agape. "We are your parents, we've got to keep an eye on you from time to time."
Niall felt himself begin to sweat a little. There were a lot of things on the internet about him- not all of them good. He only hoped any research Kelsey's parents had done about him hadn't led to too much of a pre-formed opinion. Although if Kelsey's father had thought he was a bad guy, would he really have let Kelsey bring him to dinner?
"Guess that means you do know my occupation, huh sir," Niall asked. "Kelsey told me you had no idea who I was." He laughed, an awkward forced laugh to try and cover the silence that had befallen the table.
"That I do." Paul Benton replied. There's a pause, and Kelsey's not sure if she should transition the conversation into something other than Niall's celebrity status or if she should let everyone be quiet and enjoy their meal. She didn't have to decide, because Niall spoke.
"Well then I suppose we should tell you both our big news, you know-before you see it in the tabloids."
Kelsey pivoted to look at Niall. They hadn't told anyone what was going on. Well, besides Niall's lawyers and Becca. And here Niall was willing to spill his secret to her parents after knowing them for less than an hour?
"Please tell me you aren't..." Alicia Benton began, her voice laced with disappointment.
"NO!" Kelsey interrupted quickly, knowing exactly where her mother's mind was going. "Not that at all. Niall is starting his own label."
"Ahhh, congratulations," Paul Benton mused. "That must be very exciting."
"Thank you, hoping it all works out you know." Niall said, and Kelsey can hear that there is still some doubt in his voice.
"Why the switch? That surely seems like a lot of work?" Alicia inquired. Of course Kelsey's mother would ask that question, she thought to herself, withholding a roll of her eyes.
"Let's just say my last label had a lot more say in my life than I wanted. One of those things being this girl right here." Niall wraps his arm around Kelsey's back, rubbing it gently.
"Well I'm glad that you seem to have made a good decision for the both of you. It's so nice to see my daughter happy," Paul smiled, before grabbing a bite of mashed potatoes. "Now Kelsey why don't you tell us a little more about Stanford, I think poor Niall here deserves a break from the interrogation don't you?"
**********************
Kelsey stood at the kitchen sink next to her father, the hot water stinging her fingers as she rinsed the soapy suds off of the white china.
Dinner had went better than expected. Her mother's interrogation had seemed to come to a halt after answering her questions about his label switch and it had felt surprisingly normal. Niall was in the other room now, loudly chatting with her mother as if they were old friends. A part of her was envious of him. Her mother used to be her favorite person to talk to. Her confidant. She longed for those lighthearted conversations where her mother's green eyes twinkled with laughter and love, conversations like the one that Niall and her mother were likely having right now. But those conversations were no longer possible, because she wasn't sure she would ever look at her mother the same way again.
"She misses you, you know," her father said, turning his head to look at Kelsey. "She'll never forgive herself for how she made you feel."
"But dad, she broke your heart! How do you just bring her to Thanksgiving dinner and act like nothing ever happened?"
"She's still my best friend Kelsey. She's still your mother. We all make mistakes in life. That doesn't mean we stop loving the people that care about us."
Kelsey turned to look back at her mother and Niall, laughing over the dining room table. She'd only ever seen one other person make her mother laugh like that...and that was her father. The realization makes her heart sink.
"I'm glad to see you and Niall together. After Sam, and after your mother and I... well, honestly Kelsey I worried that you might be too afraid to open your heart to someone again."
Kelsey laughed slightly. "I was. But Niall...well, it's like the universe didn't really give us a choice in the matter."
"I remember feeling the same way about your mother," Paul smiled, his eyes reminiscent.
"And we see how that worked out," Kelsey muttered under her breath.
"Kelsey look at me," her father said, lifting up her chin. "Your mother and I spent 30 wonderful years together. I don't regret a single one of them. Sometimes our love for someone evolves. Sometimes relationships aren't built to last forever. But when you have someone in your life that's special, you can't be afraid of it. If you live your life fearing the ending you'll never appreciate what you have in front of you."
Paul set a hand on Kelsey's shoulder, turning to look out at Niall and his ex-wife chatting. "You and Niall have something special, I can tell. Relish in it. Love deeply. Just because your mother and I's story didn't have the ending that you may have wanted doesn't mean you can't have that story."
"Do you miss her?" Kelsey asked softly, gazing at her mother.
"I don't have to miss her Kels. She's still very much a part of my life. We just learned we are better off as friends. I'm happy Kelsey, I don't want you to worry I've become an old hermit over here."
"I miss her," Kelsey sighed, realizing what she was saying out loud.
"You don't have to miss her either. She's right there, when you're ready."
Kelsey nodded before wrapping her arms around her father and inhaling deeply, feeling the calm all over again.
********************
As nightfall comes, Kelsey and Niall prepared to say there goodbyes. Niall stood at the doorway, offering a final handshake to Kelsey's father and a hug to her mother.
Kelsey gave her father a hug, then stood by the door awkwardly, wondering what she should do. Niall seems to sense her hesitation.
"I'll go warm up the car. It was lovely to meet you both."
"I'm gonna wash up the glasses," Kelsey's father announced. And then it was just Kelsey and her mother, staring at each other once again.
"I like him. Niall." Alicia Benton announced with a smile. "He's got a good head on his shoulders."
"He does." Kelsey smiled, feeling a small bit of satisfaction that her mother approved at Niall. Years ago this would have meant the world to Kelsey but now, now she's not so sure if her mother's approval is all it's cracked up to be.
Kelsey stared at her mother. The creases in her forehead more pronounced, her eyes sad. Had she been too hard on her mother?
"I'm so glad I got to see you. I know you weren't thrilled that I showed up here today but it meant a lot to me, hearing about your life. It seems like you are finally happy, and that's all I could have asked for. I just want you to be happy."
Kelsey nodded, she took a deep breath. "It was nice to see you too Mom."
Kelsey watched her mom's face fill with shock, her eyes shining a little brighter again. There was silence, and Kelsey pondered what to say. Her hand fiddled with the door handle, opening the door slightly and feeling a waft of the crisp winter air.
She looked out at Niall, waiting in the car. He's not paying attention, his head bent down into the center console, probably fiddling with the Bluetooth. She smiled thinking of how far they'd come. How many times she'd wanted to give up on him but hadn't. How many obstacles had stood in their way. Her dad's words also come to her mind. Forgiveness. Love. Family. She turned back around, looking at her mother.
She'd spent the last year hating her mother and what she'd done to their family. To what she'd done to Kelsey's life. But Kelsey was tired of being angry.
"Maybe we could get lunch sometime? Catch up?" Kelsey suggested, shocking even herself that the words had left her mouth.
Her mother's lips turned into a smile. "I'd like that very much."