A/N - THIS IS A DOUBLE UPDATE SO GO CHECK OUT CHAPTER 15 FIRST!
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Ever since Cara left, Harry is all I have been able to think about. Before, he was just in the back of my mind, slipping into my subconscious and loitering there effortlessly. However now, he is always at the forefront of my mind. When will I see him again? Why hasn't he answered my text? Should I call him and see what he is doing this weekend? Was he just pretending at the hospital and actually hates the fact I have a daughter? Does he never want to see me again? Are my feelings for him real? Or am I just idolizing the idea of him?
The blaring sound of the doorbell cuts through the whirlwind of my thoughts. It's probably just the Amazon guy with the few items I purchased the other day, so I don't scurry my way over. Sighing, I relax back into the couch. Ginny fills my view as she is dancing around the coffee table to the delightful songs of Moana. Before I can open my mouth to warn her about being careful, the doorbell rings once more. Maybe it's not the Amazon guy...
"Ginny, you need to sit down or else I am turning the TV--" My sentence is cut short as I open the heavy, blue painted door and am completely taken aback at who is in front of me.
"So she's alive! I didn't think you were going to answer." Harry stands before me with two large paper grocery bags in either one of his hands. He has his keys clenched between his thumb and forefinger, gripping tightly so he doesn't drop them. Tilting his head back swiftly, he nudges his sunglasses up to the top of his head. Furrowing my brows together, I am full of confusion.
"Well are you gonna let a lad in or what?" He raises his eyebrows, creating creases in his forehead as he tilts his head slightly to the side in an inquisitive manner.
"I-uh-yeah, sure?" I am dumbfounded at the fact he showed up completely unannounced. I mean I'm not complaining about it, but I am just surprised.
"What are you doing here?" I say as I take one of the bags from his hands, peering inside to see it is full of groceries. Did he buy me groceries?
"I wanted to come see how you two were doing. I was going to respond to your message, but figured I was already out and might as well drop by." He shrugs nonchalantly. "Where's G?" My heart nearly skips a beat at the little nickname he gave her. He started calling her that toward the end of the night while we were at the hospital, and I think it's adorable.
"Ginny, come here, someone is here to see you!" I shout, trying to get her attention over the television. Next thing I know, we see her poke her head out from behind the wall separating the front hall from the living room. She peers her eyes, processing who is here, then her pupils go wide as she darts straight toward Harry.
"Hay-wee!!" She squeals as he sets down the other bag and squats down to scoop her up into his arms.
"Hello, love." He has a toothy grin on his lips with his dimples ever so present. Poking at her nose, Ginny scowls her face as she squirms away from him. "How would you like to help me and your mum cook some dinner? Does that sound fun?" He holds her tightly, looking into her eyes as she beams at him excitedly. So that's what the groceries are for.
Picking up both of the grocery bags, I lead Harry into the kitchen and begin emptying the contents onto the counter as he still holds Ginny in his arms. Setting her down on the ground, I point him in the direction of the stool I let Ginny use whenever I let her help in the kitchen. There's an array of ingredients. Pasta noodles, onions, tomatoes, herbs and spices, zucchini and squash, tomato sauce, and more. Harry tells me he was feeling vegetable baked ziti, and I laughed at the fact that I should've known he doesn't eat meat. We stand closely gathered by the counter as we prep all of the ingredients. It took a lot of coaxing to make Ginny understand that she can't be the one cutting things up with the knives. However, we did let her toss the ingredients into the saucepan and the baking pan.
The dish turned out absolutely delicious. Ginny's stitches are already starting to come out, so she has had a much easier time eating today than she had before. I am in no way surprised when Ginny ends up scarfing down her meal faster than both Harry and I. It causes him to laugh this most contagious belly laugh, which somehow I find extremely attractive. Keep it up, Ginny, because I love that sound. We spend the rest of our meal catching up on the past week considering we haven't talked or seen each other since Monday. I tell him how I have been working from home and keeping Ginny from going insane, while he tells me about all the boring meetings he has had in effort to plan events and promotion for his album.
Giving Ginny permission to go play, Harry and I start cleaning up the mess made from dinner. As we work in silence, I can't help but let my thoughts get the best of me. To my own dismay, I find myself verbalizing my questioning thoughts.
"Why are you so kind to me? I haven't done anything to deserve this..." I really haven't. If we're being honest, I've done more to not deserve his kindness, but he is completely unaware of that.
"Because everyone deserves to be treated with kindness. We're all human. We all go through things that nobody knows about, so it's just easier to be nice. It's like that one quote, 'be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle'." There he goes again, reading my mind. I know he is speaking generally, but it feels like he is aiming straight for my heart. There's no way he suspects that something is wrong with me, right?
"Oh...well, yeah...I guess that's one way to put it." I can't help but be awkward at this moment. "But...I really don't deserve all of this from you. It's one thing to just be nice to me, but you've really gone out of your way this week for me and Ginny...I really appreciate it, but it's not necessary." I am more than capable of being independent, I've been doing this whole mom thing solo since the very beginning.
"I know I don't need to, but I want to. You're just-I really enjoy spending time with you. I guess it just seems that every time I see you, I unravel more about you, and I love that. Every day there is something new to learn and more to enjoy." As blood rushes to his face causing his cheeks to blush, he smiles that soft smile I have grown to adore. His dimples are prominent, his pupils dilated, and his emerald eyes a deeper shade than normal. I feel myself growing extremely uncomfortable.
No, no, no. This cannot happen right now. I don't want to talk about this anymore.
"Well that's really, uh, nice. Uh-I mean, thank you?" Backing away from him, I break myself from his gaze as I try to escape this uncomfortable feeling. "Ginny really needs to get ready for bed, but um, you can stay unless there's somewhere else you need to be, then by all means go ahead, it's alright." Grabbing Ginny and heading toward the stairs, my anxiety is evident from my quick rambling as I rush out of the kitchen..
I know that was extremely awkward, but I needed to get away from that conversation and didn't know what else to do. He blatantly admitted that he loves getting to know me, which I don't know how to take that. Clearly he didn't mean it in a bad way, it's just my walls tighten when they feel like someone is chipping away at them. And Harry is doing just that. Very slowly chipping away at the rock solid walls I had built around myself long ago.
And the look on his face. His eyes. I've never seen that kind of look before. It wasn't a scary image, but it frightened me. What was he feeling? Is he attracted to me? Oh my god...I don't even know.
As I am shuffling around Ginny's room trying to find her a pair of pajamas to wear, I hear footsteps coming down the hall and somehow I knew Harry wasn't going to leave. Damn, persistent man.
"Do you need any help, love?" Fuck, why does he have to be so freaking kind all of the time. Why can't he have a single angry bone in his body? Glancing up quickly, I see him leaning against the doorway as Ginny goes running over to him. He picks her up swiftly and holds her to his chest.
"Uhm...Yeah, I mean, uh-you can go in my room and start running the bath if you want." I say as I turn my attention back to Ginny's dresser. I really need to reorganize this because it is a mess. Next thing I know, I hear the water start running from the bathtub and I grab a mix matched pair of Frozen themed pajamas for her to wear.
As I walk through the doorway of my bedroom, I see Ginny sitting on the counter, making funny faces at herself in the mirror. Before I can get too far, Harry is right in front of me and gently holds onto both of my arms, keeping me in place. His head is hung low as he stares directly in my eyes. Feeling my breath hitch, I swallow harshly, not knowing what to expect in this moment.
"Are you alright, Amber?" His voice is low and the slightest bit raspy. I swear my knees would have buckled if he weren't holding onto me.
"Uh, yeah-y-yes." I speak quickly, trying to collect myself.
"Are you sure? I'm sorry if I said something to upset you. That wasn't my-" He speaks slowly and I know he is genuinely concerned. I really did just ditch him downstairs. Before he can go on any further, I interrupt him.
"No, no. You're fine." I sigh deeply, trying to release all of my anxiety and tension. "You're really sweet, actually. Almost too sweet, but it's okay." I chuckle slightly, regaining back some of my normal attitude.
"There's no such thing as too sweet." He winks at me as he releases his grip on my arms and steps out of the way so I can make my way to the bathroom. As I lift Ginny off of the counter, I see Harry sit down on the edge of my bed and check his phone. Switching the water off, I peel Ginny's clothes off of her and toss them on the ground behind me before placing her in the tub.
Pulling the plastic bin filled with her bath toys and soaps, I sit down on the floor as I toss some toys in the tub with her. Taking a fresh wash cloth from the shelf next to me, I dunk it in the water before adding some body wash to it. Starting on Ginny's back, I rub the cloth gently in circles as I make my way across her entire body. As I try to turn her toward me, she squirms away, still trying to play with the bath toys. Nudging her a little more, I try to turn her again, but she refuses.
"Ginny, c'mon, I need to get you washed up." I say firmly as I am not in the mood to have my patience tested right now.
"No!" She shouts and I huff greatly.
"Ginny...1...2..." I begin counting, knowing she hates when I do, so hopefully she will listen to me.
"No! No!" She shouts louder and turns farther away from me. Grr, these three-nager mood swings. As I am about to force her to face me, I hear that familiar thick British accent from behind me.
"Hey Ginny, how about you listen to your Mum and let her finish your bath and then I can sing you a song before you go to sleep. How does that sound, love?" Looking over my shoulder, I see him leaning against the doorway with his arms folded across his chest. Ginny cheerfully agrees to his deal and I quickly finish washing her up before rinsing her off and wrapping her up in a towel.
Harry has taken his place back at the end of my bed as I get Ginny changed into her pajamas and drain the tub. As she and I walk into my bedroom, he stands up to meet us. Ginny clings to his legs, looking up at him adoringly.
"Why don't you go make yourself comfortable in your room, love, and I'll come sing to you in a second?" She nods her head vigorously before darting out of the room and down the hall to her's.
"I'm sorry if I overstepped. She sounded like she was giving you a hard time and you didn't seem in the mood for that." I am amazed at how well he picked up on my attitude. He always seems to read between the lines.
"No, it's okay. I appreciate it. She just gets in these moods sometimes." I say as I walk back in the bathroom to pick up the bath toys and dry them off before putting them away. Harry follows closely behind me and grabs my hand as I am putting the toys away. He pulls me toward him swiftly and a small gasp escapes my lips as he does. What is he doing?
My body tenses as I am pulled straight to him, my body touching his. Sucking in a breath, I feel the warm of his body meet mine. That glorious warmth that I never knew I needed. I feel butterflies swim around in my stomach as a sharp tingling sensation shoots across all of my limbs. Harry lifts my chin so my eyes can meet his. My heart rate quickens and I know he can feel it bursting straight through my chest.
"It's just me, you don't need to be nervous." He smiles and his eyes soften.
Oh hell yes I do.
"I..." I can't even make out words. I am completely numb. He has me paralyzed from head to toe.
"You know, it is really quite lovely to see you in your element with Ginny. I love seeing the side of you she brings out." He speaks softly, his voice quiet as he takes his hand that was on my chin and uses it to brush hair behind my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
"You had this strong-headed, fierce energy about you when we first met. But with Ginny, you're heartfelt and warm. It's amazing" I feel his hand on my cheek as my eyes close.
"Peter, no! Please just not tonight." I beg with the most pathetic voice imaginable. He came home wanting nothing but sex, however, I am exhausted. This is the fourth night in a row he's been like this. And I have worked open to close the past two days, so I am just exhausted.
"Now, darling, you know I never take no for an answer." His voice is chilling, causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand straight up. My stomach drops and my heart feels like it is pumping out of my chest. The fear is most definitely visible.
"You know what I want, so don't make this harder than it needs to be. You're only going to make it worse for yourself, darling." My eyes screw shut and my face grimaces as I feel his ice cold touch on my cheek. He doesn't hit me, but places his hand there, almost as if he is trying to make a kind gesture, but nothing about him is kind. The feeling of his hand on my cheek causes my entire body to shiver.
"Okay..."
"NO!" The sound comes out of my mouth faster than I am able to process what is going on. Pushing myself away from Harry, my vision blurs and I reach for the counter.
"Amber, did I do something wrong?" His voice is concerned once again, but I am not in the right headspace to care right now.
"No..." Is all I can say as I lean both hands on the counter, feeling the cold marble against the palm of my hands. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing, trying to center myself.
"I'm sorry...I wasn't going to kiss you without your permission..." He wanted to kiss me.
He wanted to kiss me.
I feel his large hand on the center of my back, but I move away from his touch. This is too much right now.
"Please, just give me a moment." I can barely make out the words as my throat is tight and I am struggling to control my breathing. Fucking Peter.
"Okay, I'll be in Ginny's room whenever you're ready." He says softly before exiting the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
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Okayyyy so likeee where are y'all's heads at????
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