"Talk to me." Chris pleaded in a gentle tone.
My stomach twisted and turned to knots as I shuffled through my bag of clothing.
"I'm going on a date with Max." I felt horrible for even telling Chris, but I promised to always be truthful with him.
Just like he always was for me.
"Ellie, that's okay. Don't act like this isn't what you've wanted all these years. We both know better."
I exhaled loudly. "Chris, I'm sorry. I didn't think these feelings would be so raw still. I thought I'd see him and hate him for hurting me."
Chris chuckled softly and I could picture him shaking his head and rolling his baby blues at me. "Relax. What're you going to wear?"
"I'm going on a date with my ex and you're asking what I'm going to wear?" I groaned, looking at the clothing that littered the ground.
"Well, I've seen you get ready. It's like a train wreck into a fashion show, you change your outfit a thousand times. Wear a pair of tight jeans and a deep v neck. Your ass always looks good in jeans."
My heart spun in circles wondering how Chris could be so carefree and at ease with our situation.
But then I remembered, we're just a support system for each other.
"I just want what's best for you, Ellie. If you think Max is, then so be it. You deserve to be happy. You've been through enough shit to last a lifetime." Chris explained, as if reading my mind.
"I'll be home soon." I sighed, picking up the outfit Chris suggested.
"Take your time. We aren't going anywhere."
***
"Wow." Jacob sucked in an inhale as he eyed me up and down. "You're seriously going out with him?"
I gave a solemn nod, adjusting my very deep v neck, hoping my boob wouldn't pop out at some point tonight.
"You should change. I doubt he'll be able to make it through dinner if you're dressed like that." Jacob chuckled as he cleaned up the kitchen counter. "You know he hasn't had sex in four years? Don't expect him to last long."
"Oh my god. We aren't going to have sex." I looked in the mirror with a devilish smirk. Though, it wouldn't be the worst thing we could do.
I heard the gentle knock at the door and my heart turned to mush. I inhaled deeply before rushing over and opening it.
Max stood leaning against the porch pillar. His hand stuffed into his tight black jeans and a tan jacket covered a tucked in tight fitted black shirt.
We stood shamelessly as we checked each other out. Dirty thoughts circles my mind, undressing him with each moment that passed.
"You look beautiful." Max gaped as he wrapped an arm around my waist. He bent down and kissed my cheek with ease. "You ready?"
"Mhmm." I hummed as he guided me towards his BMW.
My hand guided up the side of his black ride, feeling the cool metal softly.
Max opened the door, easing me into the passenger seat then walked around the front. His stride was slow as he wiped his forehead dry before entering the drivers seat.
"You okay?" I eyed him wearily.
He looked so nervous that it was actually cute.
"Yeah." He breathed, looking at me again. His eyes lingering over my half exposed chest.
"You could tell me if not." I coaxed out of him, rolling my hands as I spoke.
"You're just stunning, is all." Max chuckled as he drove down the road. His eyes looking to me every few moments.
The ride was mostly small talk, Max told me about the pediatric office he worked for and a few kids he had grown attached to. He asked how everything was in California, where I was living and what not. I was honest and told him I loved it out there. I even told a secret I hadn't told anyone else besides Chris, Kace was going to help me open my own shop.
I was mid sentence, explaining how the process would work when we pulled up to our destination. My body laxed into the cars leather seats with a smile I couldn't wipe off.
"I haven't been here since I was ten." I opened the door before Max even had a chance to race to it.
I looked around, taking in the array of wildlife surrounding The building that resembled an older era. It sat sitting in the middle of the bustling Bronx with autumn leaves hanging low from the surrounding trees, letting the mixtures of the rainbow engulf us into another world. Max placed his hand soothingly to mine, guiding me into the Botanical Gardens.
We walked quietly as I took in the mixture of plants that lined the rooms, some with pools of water surrounding them. Some stretching to the ceiling. All of them were breathtakingly beautiful.
"I love this place." I murmured, leaning into a flower and sniffing the sweet scent.
Max grazed the side of my exposed arm with the back of his hand sending goosebumps down the skin until our fingers were interlaced. I held his hand back, brushing his palm with my thumb and with each stroke, I felt Max leaning closer to me.
"I spoke with your Dad." Max announced, holding my hand tighter as we continued our stroll through the flower filled rooms. "After he ripped my ass apart he told me about this place. Said your grandmother brought you when he would be on leave."
I nodded. "Surprised my father even gave you the time of day."
"For two hours he yelled and berated me. I deserved it." Max shrugged with a soft sigh.
I leaned my cheek to his arm and held it close as if we were walking into a ball. "He liked you at one point. Told me so himself."
"Not so much now but like I said, I deserve it."
I simply nodded, leaning into him as we continued to walk through the maze of flowers that lined the ground to the wall. The soft pattering of the fountain relaxing my mind as much as the woodsy scent next to me.
"I was going to cook you dinner at my apartment but it's up to you."
"I'd like that."
***
When Max told me he lived in an apartment, I never imagined it being so luxurious. Tall windows replaced where walls should have been, giving a breath taking view of the city life below. He had modern, basic furniture, that looked so little in the large open floor plan. He even had a fire place sitting adjacent to the couches.
"Wow." I managed to say, only earning the attention of the one thing I missed more than words could explain.
Dixie came barreling ass towards me. Her paws clapped against the wooden floors until she was tackling me to the ground.
"Dixie!" I yelled in excitement, loving her back. I felt tears form in my eyes from happiness that she even remembered me. "Ohh, I've missed you too. Yes I have!" I baby talked as Dixie whined. Her tail slapping my face every time she spun in circles from her joy.
Max shuffled around the kitchen seamlessly, pouring us each a glass of wine. I watched him for a moment then ventured around, looking at the photos he had hung up on the walls with Dixie by my side.
Most of them were of him and his family, including Sam. A few were of him and his friends. Then I came across my favorite one of us, sitting on his couch after he graduated. His eyes were closed oddly, as if mid laugh but I could see the loving look he was giving me as I snuggled into him with a smile of my own.
Why did he have to ruin that?
Would we ever be able to get back to that?
Sure, the love will always be there but will the trust? How could I forgive him for hurting me?
I rubbed my face roughly, wishing I could go back in time and slap some sense into him.
"You okay?" Max asked from the kitchen.
I kept my back turned as I gave a soft nod. It wasn't until his arms were wrapped around my body did I realize I had been staring at that photo of us for so long.
He rocked our bodies back and forth, swaying them towards the kitchen. I could feel his hands aching to roam my body, to feel what was once his.
And I craved his intimate touch.
"Max." I spoke softly as he nuzzled his lips into the back of my neck. Stroking the skin in soft kisses. His fingers dug into my hips, curling into the bone in a needy desire. My body melted into him, forming into a pile of lust at every touch. With every sweet touch of his mouth, I could feel my resolve wither away, replaced by images of our naked bodies mingled together.
I turned to him feverishly, pressing my aching lips to his. His stubble rubbed my face roughly with every intense mold only adding to the fire igniting in my core.
"Ellie." Max hushed as he pulled away from me. "Not yet."
"What do you mean, not yet?" I raised a brow, mostly out of concern. How can he not want me as bad as I do?
"Let's have dinner, talk, make sure we're on the same page so no one gets hurt again."
Oh no. He's gone abstinent on me. Four years of not having pussy has turned him into a prude.
I held in my sigh of discontent and bit my lip. Slowly, I let my top slid off of my shoulders. The thin fabric cascaded down my body to the floor. Leaving me topless in front of him.
Max struggled to breathe. His eyes took in my toned core that rested beneath my bouncy breasts.
He cleared his throat, sweat was already perspiring from his forehead.
"God, L." He huffed. His fingers glided up my bare stomach, tickling me until he covered my breasts like a bra with his large hands.
"Still want to talk?" I wrapped my fingers into the loop of his jeans and pulled us closer.
His piercing green eyes looked to mine with such a primal need.