"Don't move."
"What?" I asked, turning my head towards him.
"I said, don't move." he held my head, pinching my cheeks with his hand, making me face the other way.
I didn't move. I didn't even breathe.
I could hear a shutter go off, then a flash followed after.
He took a picture. Of me.
A smile creep into my face. I face him fully.
I had to squint a few times to adjust my eyes into the darkness that surrounds us.
The only source of light we had is the moon and the light from the post we've passed by ages ago.
After our little moment inside 'The Bookshop', Elliot acted like it never even happened. He converse with Mr. J with much enthusiasm, both of them sharing inside jokes that I couldn't quite understand.
I would look at them from time to time, their voices fleeting to where I was standing. Mr. J propped up in his little swivel chair, and on the opposite side of the desk is Elliot, his hands folded on the table.
When they were done, Elliot called out for my name, 'Noah' he said. 'come here.'
And so I did, I shook hands with Mr. J, all smiles and giggles as he joked around. His tobacco long forgotten in the side.
Elliot bought The Iliad and The Odyssey. When I said that he didn't have to, he told me that he wanted to buy it for me 'as a gift' he stated.
I thought he was going to buy the three books that he was clutching with his hands, but he didn't. He left it in Mr. J's desk along with the other old books.
We walk out of 'The Bookshop', my hand clutching my newly purchased book and his hand clutching his camera. He took a quick photo of the little shop and then he quietly walked off into the night. I followed him.
Which brings us here, into an abandoned railroad track.
To be quite honest I don't know why we're here, and why Elliot wanted to go here. But knowing Elliot, he may not also know where we're going, he's just letting his feet drag him wherever.
And I'm not one to complain, every place we went to so far has been fun.
We were walking inside the railroad track, jumping from rails to rails, our feet tracing each metal. When Elliot suddenly went off the road, into the grassy land.
I, once again, followed him.
The grasses at the side of the railroad is tickling my legs, the fabric of my pants not thick enough to protect me.
Elliot plopped down suddenly, creating a crater of grass within his weight. I looked at him briefly and did the same.
The first thing I noticed as I lay my head into the dirt is how uncomfortable it is.
The grasses tickling my body, the land not really that soft for me to lay in it and the dirt that I could already feel attaching themselves into my hair. Nevertheless I stayed there with Elliot.
I looked at him. His eyes shining, stars reflecting in his blue orbs, an aura of contentment can be seen in his face. He looks so peaceful, with one of his hand supporting his head and the other on his stomach.
He looks ethereal.
"Where are you going?" I asked him, breaking the silence.
He hummed, his head slightly tilting towards me.
"You're walking around the city, going after your favorite spots." I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply, the smell of grass invading my nose. "It feels like you're creating a memory in this town for the last time." I said.
He hummed once again. But he stayed still. I looked at him, his whole body tense. He's contemplating on what to say.
"I'm moving out. Moving north." he answered simply. He didn't explain any further and so I didn't dig anymore.
I just hummed, accepting the silence that surround us. The only noise that could be heard are the crickets and the occasional whispers of the breeze.
We stayed like that for what felt like hours. Watching the constellations, waiting for a falling star that would never come.
I watched him and I watched him and I watched him.
Until I can't anymore. Until it all becomes too much.
"Why didn't you kiss me?" I found myself asking. And I should really just superglue my lips together because the words coming out of my mouth is both embarrassing and frustrating.
He didn't say anything, he just looks at me with those Goddamn blue eyes.
"Back at 'The Bookshop', why didn't you kiss me?" I asked again, fully committing to it now. Because apparently I wanted to die of embarrassment.
He shifted, his whole body facing me.
"I didn't know you wanted me to." he answered. I shifted my whole body so I could face him too.
Our eyes connecting, neither of us were moving. I don't think we're even breathing.
"No. You know." I insisted. I blinked a few times, trying to come up with coherent words.
"You were going to do it, and I would've let you." I said, my eyes shifting to his lips. "But you stopped." I whispered.
"Do you really wanted Mr. J to see us?" he said, a mocking tone playing in his voice. "He's quite old and fragile, he would've had a heart attack if he did."
I snorted. Not believing him.
"He wouldn't even notice it, he's so engrossed in his book." I imagined Mr. J in his little desk, with his book in his hand, shielding his eyes from us, shielding himself from the world.
"That's not it." I said, shaking my head. I know there's more. "Why didn't you want to kiss me?" I asked again.
"Don't you like me?" I said softly, my confidence dwindling by the second. Of course, the tension that I felt between us could be completely one-sided. Maybe I imagined it all.
"I do." came his response
"Then why?"
"Because I don't want to disappoint you." he said, his body moving. Facing the stars above us. I did the same.
I let out a sigh. His words once again confusing me to eternity. Disappoint me how?
"You don't have bad breath if that's what you're thinking." I said in all seriousness. His breath actually smells like strawberries, for some weird reason.
"No. That's not it. But thank you." he chuckled. I smiled.
" I don't want you to expect something out of this." I furrowed my brows in confusion but didn't say anything. And so he continued.
"After this. I'll be gone. We won't see each other again." he sighed, in my peripheral vision I could see his hand brushing his curls.
"It's not like I haven't had one night stands before." I snorted, both of my hands at the top of my chest. My eyes fixated at the stars above.
"Who said anything about a one night stand?" He joked. I punched him in his arms. Both of us laughing. My eyes never leaving the sky.
I could feel him shifting, his body rolling in the dirt. I could feel his eyes on me.
That's when I finally looked at him. His head supported by his hand, he was laying on his side. Eyes glued to my face. Darting from my eyes to my lips then back to my eyes.
He trace the outline of my nose with his fingertips, I let him.
"So it would be okay?" He asked, voice raspier than it was seconds ago.
"Yes."
"You wouldn't mind?" his fingertips were cold in contrast to my flushed cheeks. it's moving ever so slowly.
"Yes."
"We'll leave tomorrow?" his fingertips traveling to my ears, tickling me,
"Yes."
"No expectation?" his fingertips now playing with my lips, tracing it.
"Yes." At this point I don't know what he's even asking, or what I'm agreeing to. I just want his lips on mine. And I want it now.
"No future?"
"Ye--"
I couldn't finish what I was saying because his lips were suddenly on mine. I was quick to react bringing my hands into the crook of his neck, pulling him even closer to me.
He settles his body on top of me. Butterflies suddenly flock my stomach, my heart thundering against my chest. I wonder if he could feel it.
His hands cradling my face, thumb caressing the side of my cheeks. Our kiss wasn't chaste, wasn't... vanilla. It was rough, desperate and passionate. It was so different from kissing a girl. It was more. Better.
Elliot doesn't wear lipstick, so I could taste his lips. His lips weren't soft but I quite like it.
I moved my hands into the mop of curls in his head, slightly pulling it.
He lifted his face slightly, our foreheads touching.
"I've wanted to kiss you, the second you called me a douche." he whispered, then place a light chaste kiss in my lips.
"I wanted to punch you but I also wanted to do this." he said, his lips gently biting my lower lip.
Okay. That's hot.
He kissed the side of my mouth, my chin, my jawline. Lower and lower, until he found my neck. He place so many kisses there, I placed my hand at the back of his head. I bit my lower lip suppressing a moan that is threatening to come out.
His hands trailing lower to my t-shirt his hand exploring my stomach.
Okay. This is happening. Like really happening.
Raindrops suddenly pelted down all over us. We quickly disentangled ourselves. I sit up straight and run towards the nearest tree, hoping it could shield me from the rain. All the while protecting the book from getting soaked.
I thought Elliot was behind me but he isn't. He's just sitting down, not moving an inch.
Rain drops soaking him all over, tracing the outline of his body. His curls slowly straightening, sticking in his face. His head bowed down.
I furrowed my brows. He looked sad. Miserable. He looks like a kid that wasn't given a toy.
His head slowly raising, facing the sky, his eyes closed.
If the rain wasn't visible in his skin, I'm sure teardrops would glisten them.
I don't understand.
Seconds ago he was teasing me.
Seconds ago he was laughing with me.
Seconds ago he was kissing me.
But now he looks so sad, so melancholy,
so... broken.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Noah's random ig :