Sherlock sat with me outside the operating room which Miles was in. His arm was around me and he held me tightly. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes. I tried to stay as calm as I could. "Sherlock, I-I can't cope with this. I can't- I don't- I need him Sherlock I can't lose him, he can't- I just-" I started to panic again and Sherlock tightened his grip around my shoulders.
"Jennifer, calm down. It's going to be okay." He said. Somehow I didn't believe him. I wanted to believe everything was going to be okay but no matter how hard I tried to think of the best possible situation, I could only think of the worst.
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About 2 hours later, the doctor came out. He walked over to Sherlock and I. I sat up and looked at him. "Miles has been stabalized. He is awake, he seems to be fighting well. We are not sure how long he will be able to keep this stabalized. The bleeding internally hasn't been completely fixed. When he was shot, the bullet went straight through one of the main arteries to his heart and it isn't healing very well. He is having trouble breathing but as for the moment he is stable." He said looking at us apologetically.
I felt drained. Physically, mentally and emotionally. "Is he going to get better? Will he be fine soon?" I asked.
"Well it- we can't tell you what we don't know. However, you may visit him as long as he isn't put under too much stress." He said finally before smiling slightly and leaving. I looked up at Sherlock and shook his head.
"God, I hate seeing you like this." He said before grabbing my hands and opening the door for me.
"You're not coming inside?" I asked.
"No. Go on. You need time alone. I'll only be out here." He said. I nodded and let go of his hand.
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I walked in slowly and Miles struggled to look at me. I looked to the floor and walked over to him. "J-Jennifer." He said turning to look at me. I looked up at him but my vision was blurry from the tears forming in my eyes. I blinked them away.
"Miles. Don't struggle please. Just rest. How are you feeling?" I asked pulling the chair closer to him and sitting down.
"A lot better now you're here." He said smiling.
"I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. If I hadn't have gone with him in the first place then you wouldn't-"
"Jennifer. This isn't your fault. Don't say that." He said sighing.
"You're gonna be just fine." I said holding his hand. He grabbed me tightly and smiled.
"As long as your here I'll be fine." He said.
Miles suddenly began to cough and tried to sit up. I quickly helped him and pushed the pillows up so he was more comfortable. "Thanks." He breathed out.
"You really don't deserve any of this." I whispered.
"No. I broke your heart so I guess it's only fair that mine is broken too." He said. How could be be so calm about this?
I looked down to try and hide the tears falling from my cheek. "Oi. Don't cry. I'm fine." He said reaching for my hands.
"But you are so calm about it I can't understand. I might lose you Miles, I can't. You, despite everything, have always been my best friend. Like my brother, best friend and boyfriend all rolled into one and I just realise now that if I lose you then-"
"Stop. I don't want you upset. We have to face the truth. I'm not going to make it. I feel weaker each minute. A-and I want us to be happy in my last moments. Okay?" He said.
"No. No, don't talk like you're not going to make it because you are. Promise me you are. Promise me."I begged wiping my eyes with my sleeve.
He shut his eyes and squeezed them shut. He let out an unsteady breath. "I can't Jennifer." He said as his voice hitched. I let out a sigh and looked to the ceiling.
"You are not going to die, Miles. You are not leaving me. I won't be able to cope." I said gritting my teeth.
"Don't you dare tell me you won't cope. You will. You'll find someone else, move on and be happy without me. Don't grieve over me. I'll still be with you. In here..." He said putting his hand on my heart. I held his hand there and shut my eyes. "Jennifer, promise me something. Okay?"
"Alright." I said opening my eyes as I let his hand go.
"Promise me that you'll be happy. That you'll find someone else, maybe someone from your new school, or maybe even Sherlock you never know. And promise me that you will move on and have a wonderful life. But most of all, promise me you won't forget about me. Promise me, you'll always remember me. Alright?" He said.
I nodded.
"Say I promise." He said.
"I promise." I breathed out.
"Good. And Jennifer?" He said.
"Yes?" I said.
"Happy Birthday." He said smiling.
I smiled a little. "Thank you. Great birthday huh?"
"Best one yet." He said smirking.
"Miles, aren't you scared?" I asked. He swallowed and frowned.
"Terrified. But I'm a big boy I can handle it." He said.
I laughed slightly. "Ah!" Miles let out a sigh suddenly.
"Miles? Are you okay?" I asked.
"C-chest pains. I-its nothing." He gasped tensing up.
"Let me get the doctor." I said pressing the alert button.
Soon enough the doctor came in. "Everything okay? What's wrong?" He asked.
"Chest pains." I said worriedly.
the doctor went up to the monitor and sighed. "He needs surgery again. Jennifer if you'd wait outside please." He said pressing another button on the monitor. I nodded and left the room watching at the window. Some other doctors went inside. I felt a hand grab my shoulder and I turned to find Sherlock.
Somehow I knew that he knew what I was thinking and we both knew what was going to happen. He held his arms out to me and I hugged him tightly waiting for the bad dream to be over.