Tell me every
terrible thing
you ever did
and let me love you anyway. -unknown
Time passed. The UA kids had an extremely dorky festival, which was basically a glorified talent show, and a weird dude and his female sidekick tried to ruin it all but failed. I know there aren't many details there, but that's because I don't know them.
The hero billboard chart was the next day, and Dabi and I were sent down to speak to our... undercover friend, the current number two hero, Hawks. He had expressed interest in joining the League, and Dabi and I took over in interrogating him and setting him up on jobs that would prove his loyalty to the League.
There was a catch though. I was supposed to... well, not seduce him, but to gain that intimate loyalty with him so he'd be less likely to back out, and so I could possibly get information from him that he wouldn't tell anyone else.
That would typically be easy, I've attempted missions of the kind that never even got so far as a kiss before I was told to kill them, but I could read their minds. I can't read Hawks'. It's not suspicious, because there are random times that I just can't reach people, but it's aggravating as hell though.
"You want me to... what, exactly?"
"You know." Tenko waved his hand, agitated. "Get him to like you. Get in a fake relationship with him. You might get an 'in' to things we otherwise wouldn't."
"Uh, Tomura, you realize that doing that might result in us kissing? Or... having sex? It's just part of the job, but-" I furrowed my eyebrows wondering how in the hell he was okay with that.
"I know. I know!" He flung a glass across the room, and it smashed against the wall, shattering. Dabi glanced at me, one eyebrow raised. "But who the fuck else is gonna seduce him? Twice? You're good at your job, Y/N."
I fell silent, and nodded, but entered his head, telling him I loved him over and over, but he was in a mood, so he ignored it until I stopped, but I still heard his thoughts subconsciously answer me with the same sentence.
He got over it though, when I knocked on his door that night and he tugged me inside, pinned me against the bed, and reminded me that I was his, which I already knew, but a few reminders don't hurt, if you know what I mean.
"You ready?" Dabi asked, and I nodded, and we quickly traveled to our assigned meeting spot, leaning against the wall of the alley until I could hear feathers, and Hawks dropped down, his dark eyes scanning over us. I removed my hands from my pockets, stepping forward, and I saw his feathers twitch, but I held up my hands in submission.
"I was just gonna shake your hand, my guy."
He silently tugged off his glove and reached out to shake my hand, which I did, but as I pulled back, I moved my fingers and dragged them across the delicate skin of his palm, which made his eyes shoot up to mine. I winked at him and tugged away in a flash, and Dabi rolled his eyes, playing along.
"Ghost, stop flirting with the applicant."
"No promises, when they look like that." I nodded my head in his direction, and he cracked a smirk.
"I'll take that as a compliment." He ran a hand through his dark blond hair, redirecting his attention to Dabi. "Anyway. Tomorrow, at the water tanks downtown, right?"
"Yeah. The Nomu won't be too strong, but they'll pack a punch, Hawks." Dabi blatantly lied, and I hid my surprise. He's not bad.
"We'll both be there at one point." I shrugged, adjusting my waistcoat. "Can we trust you is the question... just not one you can answer with words." Another coy smile from me, as my double meaning sunk in.
"I'm going to head back. You're better at this shit, Ghost." Dabi turned around, tugging up his coat. "Let me know."
"Aww, leaving already?" I swung my arm around him, hands seductively running down his arm to catch Hawks' attention.
Sorry about this. Just play along. I thought at him and he nodded, just barely, and his hand ran down my back with a feather-light touch, and left.
"You two a thing?" Hawks asked once as he was gone, and I internally fist-pumped. I am good at this.
"Nope." I grinned, leaning against the brick, and his thick eyebrows raised.
"That looked like... something." Hawks chuckled. "I thought you and Shigaraki were a thing."
"Oh, no. I'm single, and have my eye on someone." I sauntered forward, tipping my head back in a fake, seductive stretch. He stepped forward.
"Oh really?"
"Yep." I replied, popping the "p", and looked him up and down slowly.
"How do I know you aren't just trying to get with me to get information?" He asked, still suspicious, and I giggled.
"Because if I wanted information, I would've just fought you and threatened your life. I'm not into the sultry undercover seductress thing." I shrugged, then let my voice drop to a whisper. "Who do you think convinced the League to check you out after you expressed interest?"
"All because you have a crush on me?" Hawks' voice was teasing, but his expression looked intrigued.
"Maybe, maybe not. We've tangled before, just before I was famous, and I saw that edge to yourself you have." I was close enough to touch him, so I gently ran my hand down his shoulder, down to his chest muscles, before quickly pulling my hand away. He didn't move, his chocolate-brown eyes locked on mine.
"Does the League know about your little crush on me?"
"No, they just think I'm a flirt. They'd kill me if they found out I liked a hero." I leaned in, mouth near his ear. "But I like the danger."
Hawks backed me up against the wall, hands on either side of my body, eyes still glued to mine.
"You're in my head, aren't you?"
"I can't read you." I admitted. "Not at all, you're completely blank. Here, I'll prove it to you." I pressed my fingers to his temples, and projected what I could see in his head to him, and his eyebrows raised again.
"You're not lying."
"Why would I?"
"Because you're a villain." His voice dropped, low and husky.
"Then what are you? In a gray area in between, or are you dedicated to the League?"
"Dedicated, but I think you already knew." In a flash, his lips were on mine, and my hands moved up to his hair, fingers threading through his golden-brown locks, and I kissed him back, hard, and he scooped me up, pushing me against the wall, my legs locking around his waist. His tongue fought against mine as we desperately kissed, his hands at my hips, firmly, tugging me closer. He reached for my shirt, but I giggled, lips against his ear.
"Not yet, little birdie." I untangled myself from him, and he gazed at me lustfully. "You... can't wait until next time, can you?" I kissed him once more, pulling away when it began to get heated again, and he chuckled.
"You're intoxicating, Ghost."
"You'll get even more next time." I smiled coyly, fixing my hair and clothing, swallowing my guilt as my mind attempted to remind me of Tenko, but I kept repeating in my head that I was on a job and he knew about it, that I wasn't cheating. That we weren't even dating officially. "Until next time, hero."
"I'm no hero, not anymore." He sighed, and I grinned wider.
"Good answer."
.
.
.
Dabi was a few streets away, waiting for me, and rolled his eyes.
"What, did you guys screw in the alleyway?" He scoffed. I laughed.
"No. Just kissing. Left him wanting more."
"Did it work?" He asked, side-eyeing me.
"Of course it did, Dabi. He's wrapped around my finger." I grinned, shrugging innocently, but the guilt and longing for Tenko panged in my chest and I gritted my teeth, walking past Dabi, and he watched me, confused.
.
.
.
I felt dirty. I kinda always felt like that after those types of missions, the seductive, slightly NSFW ones, but this felt worse. I knew it was because when I was on those other missions, I was single and flirty and not desperately in love with Tenko. I stared into the bathroom mirror a few hours later, hands on the sink, when he came up beside me. We were both silent for a few moments.
"Y/N."
I turned, looking at Tenko with a weak smile. His eyes narrowed.
"What is it?"
"It's just... just that kissing another guy makes me want to stab my eyes out with a rusty fork." I splashed some cold water on my face, and dried my skin with a towel, shoulders slumping. "I know it's just the job... but you were my first kiss, Tenko. You were my first time. I know I was those things for you, too. Kissing Hawks so quickly after we did that stuff just feels shitty."
"It's your job, Y/N." He replied quietly. "Am I fucking happy that you're messing around with Chicken Wing? Hell no. But it's the job, and even though I was a dick to you about it, I heard your voice saying "I love you" for the entire day, and I just have to deal with it."
"I do love you." I smiled softly.
"I know you do. That's why I have to ignore this whole Hawks shitshow. If I wanna know details, I'll ask." He leaned in even closer, mouth at my neck near my ear. "And I know you're mine, so that's enough to keep me going." Goosebumps rose on my skin, and he kissed my neck before leaving the bathroom, leaving me there as a flustered wreck, my mind spinning with thoughts of his hands on my skin and his lips on my body, my nails digging into his back or tangling in his silvery locks...
I need Jesus.
.
.
.
Later that day, when the headquarters were silent except for some settling in the building and faint music coming from Jin's room, I wandered through the wallways, trying to clear my head, because surprise, guys; I had a nightmare. This one was me, strapped to a medical table, the old doctor that used to operate on me with Master leaning over me, cutting me up and jabbing me with needles, laughing at my screams of pain.
I glanced down at the scars threading down my arms, knowing that some of them happened from what happened in my dream... in real life. My fingers ran along the walls of the halls, eyes closed, heightening my listening, feeling and hearing my way along the area. My eyes watered as I yawned, and I brushed by Tenko's room, hearing his voice, just very faint.
I paused, peering into his room, his door ajar. He was in bed, asleep, and he was talking... which is odd. He never talks in his sleep.
I quietly walked in, slowly sitting down on his bed beside him, hand running through his hair. He groaned, shifting onto his side, still asleep and still mumbling nonsense... that is until he said something that made me stop dead.
"No... I don't wanna... I don't want to hurt Y/N, doc... Master says-" His breath hitched, and he stumbled over some more nonsense words before his eyes fluttered open, snapping me out of my trance, so I slowly began stroking his hair again when he came to.
"Hey, Y/N..." He yawned, confused, and I forced a smile.
"Ten... you were talking in your sleep."
"Ah." He tugged me closer, wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his head against my shoulder.
"I love you." I whispered after a moment, anxiety swelling in my chest, and he nodded into my skin.
"Mhm."
No "I love you" back. My stomach twisted with hurt, and I bit back tears. Hurt me? Why would the doctor want to hurt me..? And why would Tenko do that to me? If he loved me...
No. Don't think like that.
Swallowing my feelings, I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping and praying that he was just having a weird dream.
"Tenko?" I whispered once more, and he hummed, still awake, but barely.
"Would you ever hurt me..?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." He mumbled, hushing me, and I felt his body relax as he fell back asleep.
If he had given me an actual response, I think I would've slept that night... but I didn't. Not a wink.