Grady was already looking at me when I opened my eyes. "Good morning," he said with a smirk. "Did you sleep well?"
I stretched, feeling weakness in my shaky legs. "Yes. Did you?"
His fingers brushed against my cheek lightly as he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "I did. You still smell very strongly of me. You might want to shower again before you come downstairs."
I shook my head, chuckling. "I'll just have to get used to being called Miss Charli."
His arms around my tightened me to his chest. "You're not worried about what they'll think?"
"No. I guess I probably should've introduced myself to more people first, that way I would've known if they didn't like me before I got in too deep."
"Ah, yes, before you fell in love with me. Too late now," he teased, making me blush.
"Hush. I'm not... ready to admit to that yet. I'm attached to you. I have strong feelings for you, but I'm not-"
"It's okay. I'm not trying to pressure you. I don't want to scare you away. I know you've got things to uncover within yourself. What if we come up with a code word or a secret phrase that doesn't imply as much... commitment?"
I balked at his sentiment, leaving my mouth hanging wide open. "I'm the commitment-phobe. I didn't even know it, and I almost broke you. I'm so-"
"You did not break me," he muttered forcefully.
"Then why do you apologize and ask me not to run away every time emotions come up? I don't want to run, Grady. I'm tired of it. I'm hurt and I'm scared, but I want to stay. I want to be with you. I'm just sorry I hurt you so much."
He sighed. "I guess I do, don't I? I apologize a lot. That's okay. I'll just stop doing it." He tilted his head to one side, studying me. "You're really not running?"
"I don't want to anymore," I admitted. "I don't want you to feel like you have to run after me. I think I want to talk to more of the pack. I want to get their reactions and let them get to know me. I need to be part of everything. They're my pack now, too. I feel weird hiding in here this whole time."
His hand moved up and down my back in lazy circles. "You've been leaning on me for protection. You needed to feel safe. That's okay. You've had a hell of an ordeal your whole life. No one will fault you for taking some time to acclimate on your own before opening up to everyone."
"I hope you're right. I guess we'll find out when I go galavanting through the pack and introducing myself to everyone I see. Are they going to do the whole 'Miss Charli our future Luna' thing just because I smell like you?"
His laugh rumbled against my chest and made me feel warm inside. "Yes. They've never seen me with a woman before. Remember, I didn't date anyone seriously before. They're going to think that its pretty serious if they see you here."
"Are we? I mean, I probably shouldn't have to ask that. I should probably already know, huh?" I felt panicked at the idea that we might be so differently understanding what stage of our relationship we were in. "I do spend a lot of time here. We've only known each other a couple weeks but you've helped me with a lot of things. You seem-"
"Baby, please relax. It's not so bad. Take a breath. We can figure it out in time. Go walk around and talk to people. It doesn't have to be a serious thing. Everyone will wait until we're ready. They are going to talk about it, and if you're uncomfortable, then tell them you aren't ready to discuss it. Be honest with them. They could be looking up to you some day, and you want them to trust you."
I huffed out a breath. "I can do that. That's simple enough. Be honest. I can just... be myself. Okay. I gotta go before I lose my nerve. Will you be okay to run by yourself?"
"You're leaving me?" He said, feigning hurt.
I laughed, rubbing my palm over the muscles of his bare chest. "Just for one day. I'm not really hungry now but I'll be back for lunch." I kissed his cheek, before bounding from bed to get dressed. "I've been too nervous to introduce myself to anyone since I got here," I said from the closet. "I feel confident today. I need to get going before I chicken out."
He looped his arm around my waist from behind me, startling me that I hadn't heard him get up from the bed. He kissed the top of my head, and whispered, "I understand. Go enjoy yourself. Make new friends."
I pulled a shirt on over my head, opting to wear my own clothes for the excursion, and almost skipped down the stairs. I felt light and happy. My night with Grady had eased some of the heavy sexual tension I'd been carrying since we met. I wasn't even hungry for food, just excited to find my place in the new pack.
As I stepped out the back door, Darlene's gaze gripped me as a bright smile graced her features. "Miss Charli," she said as a greeting.
"Darlene. Good morning," I sang.
Her smile turned darker as if she knew instantly from twenty feet away what I'd been up to all night. She winked at me. "Did your date night go well?"
I took a few steps closer. "It was amazing. I'll get you your dress back after I've had a chance to clean it."
"No, no. You keep it! I have plenty more. If you ever need another for a date night, let me know. What are you up to for the day? I'm surprised the Alpha let you out if his sight."
I giggled as heat flushed my cheeks and I looked down at the toe of my sneakers. "I'm ready to make my presence known. I'm tired of hiding. I want to see where I fit in here."
"Without your mate by your side?"
I groaned inwardly. "He's not... We just met, Darlene."
The sound of her laugh made me look up, and her face read serious. "All evidence to the contrary, Miss Charli. I can smell him on you from a mile away. That man is in love with you, and I think you feel the same way. I mean, look at you. You're practically floating on air."
"Hey, Darlene!" An older woman wearing gardening gloves waved from behind her.
Darlene turned to wave back to her. "Hey, Sissy. This is Miss Charli, Alpha's... Well, she's new to the pack."
I contained the eye roll, just barely, and smiled as I stepped closer to the woman. Extending my hand, I said, "I'm Charli, the Alpha's girlfriend." Alpha's girlfriend. That sounds nice. Really nice. He would've loved to hear me say those words as my introductory speech.
The silver-haired woman removed a glove and tucked it under her other arm, before shaking my hand. "Very nice to meet you, Miss Charli. I'm Sissy. I work in the gardens. It's nice you've joined us. I hope I'll see you around some time. I have to get to work. We're getting everything ready to put the greenhouse up soon."
"Grady- er- Alpha Grady..." God, those words tasted weird coming from my mouth. I wasn't sure what I was and wasn't allowed to call him in public. Would I be undermining his authority by speaking of him in the wrong terms? I tossed a look back at the Alpha House. If I went back in now, to ask him, would I still feel confident enough to come back out? Probably not. I sighed, meeting Sissy's gaze again. "He told me about the temporary greenhouse for winter. That's amazing. I'll have to come back by and see it."
Sissy nodded and waved goodbye as she walked away. Darlene smiled at me. "I'm pitching in with the gardens today. I gotta go, too. Good luck today. I'd stay away from Syd if I were you," she teased, nudging her elbow against my ribs.
Mark must've told her about what happened when he 'caught' me with Syd. Will Grady talk to me like that? Will he tell me everything that happens in the pack? "I think he's actually cooled it some on the territorial stuff. At least, he mentioned he might. Something about taking my pain making his emotions a little crazy."
"Oh, yeah. So that's why he got so... obsessed. Hmm. Well, that stuff can't really change what you feel, from what I've heard. It just makes the feelings more overwhelming so you can't control them."
I clenched the inside of my lip between my teeth as I considered that. So, when he threatened to rip limbs from anyone who might touch me, that wasn't a heightened feeling, just one he couldn't control? Would he truly tear someone apart over me? Either way, why did the thought of that make me hot?
"Anyway, I gotta go. I'll see ya later!" Darlene waved as she walked away from me, as if she hadn't left me confused.
I pushed those thoughts away for another time, and moved forward. I had to get through this day, even if I felt like I was dragging my feet through sludge after my conversation with Darlene. I was going the wrong direction. I needed to turn around and go home. Home? Fuck. 'Before you fell in love with me Too late for that now.' He was right.
Without sparing another glance back to the Alpha House, knowing I would've gone back if I even looked, I continued my walk through the territory. Most people didn't seem to be up yet, since it was so early in the morning, so I decided to go see Dally and Chocolate.
On the far side of the property, Dally and Chocolate were grazing where I couldn't reach them. I admired them from a distance, before turning to the stalls. I wanted to see the pigs. I was walking closer when I saw a familiar face. "Hi, Bobby," I said.
"Hey, Miss Charli." His smile seemed slightly reserved.
"Sorry about the other day. I was just nervous. I am dating Alpha Grady. I wasn't sure I wanted anyone to know about it then."
He nodded. "That's okay! You can take your time. From what I hear, everything here is fairly new to you. They say you were without your mate for years before finding him like that- rest his soul. I'm so sorry for your loss."
"It's okay, really. Our history was... confusing. I'm not so hurt about it now. Thank you, though. This place is vastly different from my old pack. Have you always been here?"
A grin spread across his face. "I was one of the original members. I'm getting pretty old, now. I was with Alpha Grady the First when he started the pack."
Grady the First? I'll have to mention that to Grady. "Wow! That's amazing! Do you like it?"
"I love it, Miss Charli. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. The pack we were in before we split off to start this one was a lot like your old pack, by my understanding. Alpha Evan is power-hungry. Being an Alpha is a position of great power, but as the saying goes, with that comes great responsibility. Alpha Grady makes sure we are cared for but leaves a majority of the other decisions to us. A power tripping Alpha can't do that. They have to be in control of everything."
"That definitely sounds like Alpha Evan."