"Alright now remember everyone! This assignment is due next week! And there are some very resourceful books on the table that will help you for the test tomorrow!" Mrs Wheeler said.
I rolled my eyes. Teachers always say that. They give us all the resources they think we need in order to pass the test and then when you actually open the test and look at the damn questions...it is completely unrelated the resources they recommend you to read. So...I will be doing my own research and failing the way that I want to fail thank you very much.
I walk to my locker and get some of my other books out. When I shut the locker door I yelp in a fright when I see a face there. I growled lowly. Jax is leaning against the wall facing me.
"What is wrong with males! Why can't they just stop lurking in the shadows and come out and just greet me like a normal human being!"
Jax's brows pull together, "What the fuck are you talking about?"
I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Nevermind. What'd you want?"
"I got plans after school so I need you to find your own ride home. And if Debra or my father asks where I am, tell them that I'm working on a car at Lucas's house."
"Yeah I already know that, you always have plans after school. Why're you working on a car?" I asked.
Jax rolls his eyes, "I'm not actually working on a car, idiot. I told you...I got plans. So I won't be home till late."
I sighed, "Fine, whatever. What do you have planned?"
"Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about." He said and then walks away.
I sighed...again. I've noticed that I've been sighing a lot...for most of the day actually. It's just a sighing kind of day.
I walked to lunch and saw Heather there with her headphones in. I sat down and again...sighed.
Heather frowns and takes her earphones out, "What's wrong with you today?" She asks.
I shrug my shoulders, "I don't know. I feel like I'm in this weird funk."
Heather studies me, "Yeah...you've been sighing a lot today."
"I know right! But I don't know why!"
"Research has proven that in increase in sighing are often attributed to high levels of sadness or sexual frustration."
I frowned as my cheeks begin to heat up, "Sexual frustration?"
Heather nods and smirks, "Yeah. Because your body is responding to something that is not satisfying them which is to have this pent up energy that needs release. But because you can't release...aka...orgasm-"
"Heather!"
"Your body is under a slight pressure of stress and therefore...you're sighing...which has lead me to the question of...why are you sexually frustrated?"
I gulped, "I'm not sexually frustrated."
Heather's eyes squint in suspicion, "So you're sad?"
"No."
"Then who's the guy you have sexual tension with!" She almost yells.
"Ssssshhh, Heather! Shut up! You need to announce that to the whole damn school!"
"It's Jax isn't it. I knew it! But then again I don't blame you, he is one beautiful guy. I mean most girls would drop their wet panties just from looking at him."
I cringe, "Heather, please stop."
I look around, making sure no one heard when my eyes lock with Jax's. I do not feel sexual tension...I do not feel sexual tension. I do not feel sexual tension with a psychopath with the most gorgeous hair and eyes and body and everything.
Nope.
Nothing.
The research is wrong. The scientists don't know shit and I should sue them for publishing false information.
I leaned over and sighed. What the hell is wrong with me.
***
I walked out of school and saw Jax's car was already gone. I wonder where he's run off to? Wouldn't surprise me if I found out he was dealing drugs or involved in some gang business. How else does he get the money to buy car parts and work on his vehicle?
"Hey Milly!" I look over my shoulder and see Heather running over.
"What's up?" I said.
She stood there breathless. She bent over her knees to catch her breath, "Hold on a minute...I felt like I ran a mile!"
I giggled, "Heather you literally ran from the entrance to the parking lot of the school."
"Your point is?"
I laughed and shook my head, "What'd you want?"
"So me, Bobby and some of his friends are going out of town for a bit of excitement tonight if you wanna come?"
I raised my brow in question, "Out of town? For what?"
"Bobby told me there's this big fight night going on. He's placed a bet on one of the guys so, we've decided to make it a bit of a road trip. And I need you to come with me!"
I groaned, "Why? I wanted to have a quiet night in."
Heather rolls her eyes, "You mean the same quiet night you have every night where you have a shower, put on your pimple cream and then watch Netflix?"
"Yes!" I exclaimed, "That sounds a whole lot better than driving in a car with Bobby, who is a reckless driver by the way, and die before we even get to the fight night."
Heather's eyes soften which I hated. I mentally slapped myself. Why the hell would you bring the crash into this, Milly? Now I just sound like a scared traumatised little girl. I hate that!
"Milly, I've already talked to Bobby, he's agreed to drive like a nana on the road so than you can come. I know that ever since that night you've been-"
"I've been what?" I asked defensively. When people bring up that night, I can't help but feel a little on guard. People have their own opinions of that night and their own opinions of me and why I am the way that I am now.
But none of them know the truth. Not even Heather who was always there for me. My parents didn't even ask about that night. After I left the hospital, it was like they left the events that occurred as well. When I got home, they treated me like everything was normal, like I didn't just go through a traumatising experience that will probably affect me for the rest of my life.
Heather sighs, "Nothing. It's just that, I haven't seen you much lately. I only see you at school. I just thought that we could make it a fun trip together and have fun again."
I felt bad. I knew Heather was just trying to help, I knew she was worried about me and just wanted me to be okay. I leaned in and gave her a hug, "I'm sorry for being a bitch right now. I don't know why I get like this sometimes, I just feel-"
"All is forgiven," Heather said with a smile, "And don't worry about tonight. You don't have to come if you don't want to. There's no pressure. The offer is there if you ever change your mind. We'll probably leave at around 8. Takes an hour to get there so...you have until then to change your mind!"
I smiled back. I loved Heather. She was more like a sister than a friend, "Thanks Heather, but I think I'll stay in."
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then." She walks her way and I walk mine.
When I get to the Reeds house, I was greeted by Debra's usual smile from her face that had makeup of perfection, "Hello dear, how was school?"
"It was good. Just normal."
"That's good! I had made some bacon and egg muffin! Help yourself!"
I took one on a plate, "Thanks, Mrs Reed."
She was cutting up some carrots when she asks, "So you have anything planned for tonight?"
I took a bite of the muffin and shook my head, "No. Just a quiet night in."
"You haven't gone out much lately. Are you okay?"
I smiled, "Yeah I'm just tired." I finished off the muffin. Debra informed me she will alert me when dinner is ready. I went up stairs and flopped on my bed.
I look around my room. It's feeling more and more like my own space which was good. Maybe tonight I can rearrange things. Or I could have a bath?
No actually I will rearrange my room and then I'll take a bath! Brilliant! I put on my earphones and then began to move things around, hangs thing here, tidy things there. I was listening to my cleaning playlist. I was really getting at it for a couple of hours.
I was wiping my windows. cleaning the walls. I washed my sheets and made my bed look all pretty. By the end of it, my room was completely spotless. Literally. There was nothing out of place. Just the way I liked it.
"Dinner time, Milly!"
I went downstairs and sighed in relief when I saw Mr Reed wasn't there. It was just me and Debra. I saw at the table where we had a hot pot of delicious smelling stew. Perfect for a cold night.
"This smells incredible Mrs Reed."
She blushes but smiles, "Thank you dear, hopefully it'll taste as good as it smells!" She laughs. She places herself across from my as we silently filled our bowls.
"How was your day, Mrs Reed?" I ask before taking a bite.
"Oh it was normal. I did my husband's washing, paid some bills, tended to the gardens. I went to the shops to get more groceries etc. Just the normal things."
I nodded my head, "Sounds like a productive day."
She nods smiling with her red lips, "Yes it was."
I push around my food, not really feeling hungry, "So what do you do when you're not doing all those kinds of thing?"
She frowns through her smile, "What do you mean, darling? I do enjoy doing those things."
"I know, but like, when you have your own free time, what do you like to do?"
Her smile faltered. She takes a bite of her food and laughs, "I love gardening and cooking. I like being busy throughout my day."
I nodded understandingly. Strange how she couldn't answer the question properly. As I stare at her, she still continues to smile while eating. She reminds of those wives you see on those adds. Those wives that do baking advertisement, they wear dresses and pearls. Their hair and face always done up as if they were the perfect wife and perfect mother...as if that's all they ever could be. I wonder how she even ended up with Mr Reed?
After dinner I went to my room. I was preparing myself to have a bath. As I was walking to the bathroom, holding my things, I stopped in my tracks. I sighed...I knew I didn't actually want to do this.
I did it out of fear. It was a safe option. I like safe. Safe is good. Safe is where no one can see my scars, no one will assume anything about me. But at the same time I was sick of safe.
"Make a decision, Milly," I said to myself. What will my life be like if I played it safe? I could imagine myself getting into deep depression, self-hatred. I sighed, all of these thoughts run through my mind just because I didn't want to go out tonight. No...it was because I was afraid. If I had no fear, this would be simple.
I rolled my eyes at myself. Why am I so dramatic? "Fuck it." I said to myself. I turn back to my room and held the phone to my ear.
"You coming?" Heather said without any greeting.
I smirked, "What do I wear?"
"Yay!" She exclaimed, "We're gonna have so much fun and wear what you think you should wear." I hear her say.
She told me they'll be there in fifteen. Fifteen minutes to decide. I smiled at myself. I felt excited. I rushed to my closet and opened it. It's freezing outside, but that doesn't mean I still can't look cute.
I decided to wear some high waisted black denim jeans with a cropped, off the shoulder sweater as well as some black timberland boots.
I had my wavy hair down and some silver hoops on. Heather texted me and told me they were outside. I went downstairs and saw Debra, still sitting at the table. I froze when I saw her face. She wasn't smiling. Her face was not bright. She sat there with tears running down her face.
"Mrs Reed?"
She snaps out of her state and wipes her face. She reconstructs her smile on her face, "Hello, dear. Are you alright?"
"Yeah...A-Are you okay, Mrs Reed?"
"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" She laughs.
"O-Okay. Ummm I've decided to go out with a couple of friends. I'll try not to be too late."
"That sounds lovely, Dear. Have fun!"
I walk out of the door and saw Heather and Bobby waiting in the car.