Marcus
Home time. Me and Lewis were waiting by the school gates for Marik and Michael to come out since they had detention. If anyone were to get in the most trouble, it was always them two. It was like a ritual to wait for them to exit. I listened to some tunes on my iPod whilst Lewis texted some chick. He was laughing to himself every couple minutes. I gave him an odd look.
"What’s funny?" He giggledand showed me the screen of his phone.
"This chick is on it!" He grinned proudly. I chuckled and held his phone to pree the message. Something along the lines of she will be around soon so he should warm up the bed for her. I checked the name and smirked.
“Tanya yeah?” He nodded and we spudded. Lewis had been on Tanya for a good year, always trying his best to get close to her. Unfortunately she had a man, but that didn’t stop him. You could imagine how ecstatic he was when he discovered she broke up with her man. He went in for the kill immediately, and now this. Man was hung up on sex, he wanted to meet up with her as soon as possible. Fuckin’ perv. Can’t really blame him though. I was like him not too long ago: single, horny, and ready to fuck just about any girl.
“She might come round mine tomorrow. I’m gonna ram that puss—”
“Yeah, I get it fam. No details.” He laughed.
“Just cos you’re fucking Sha’riah.” I turned to him.
“Actually we ain’t beat yet.” His eyes widened.
“You finally got her and you ain’t even fucked?”
“Stop using that word man,” I sneered, “we’re taking our time. There’s no rush. If she was anyone else, you know I would’ve done my ting already.” He acknowledged this, then nodded.
“You’re right fam.” Just then, these two dick’eads emerged from the doors and walked towards us. I spudded Michael first, then Marik.
"What you sayin’ Lewis?" Marik asked with a sly smile. His face dropped real quick.
"Fuck off man!" We all started creasin’. I couldn’t believe after all this time Lewis weren’t talking to Marik cos of that dare a long time ago. They kissed, but everyone was over it, apart from him. Marik just liked to take the piss.
"Stop being a bitch, that was time ago," Michael said with a chuckle.
"You don’t know the shit I’ve been through. Burn in hell." Lewis screwed and walked off. Marik was still creasin’. We decided to head out and began walking down the road, chatting shit as usual.
"Aye man, why you walking so fast?" Marik called. Lewis stuck his middle finger up and we all laughed. We stopped off at the shop so Michael and Lewis could buy a couple tings. When they stepped inside, Marik turned to me with his hands in his pockets.
"So where’s the wife then?" He asked.
"Probably still at mine." He nodded.
"Skeen. I wanna see her, it’s been time."
"Come round mine after school tomorrow, she’ll be there." He nodded once more. Lewis came out with Michael then we carried on walking.
"You got a spliff?" I asked Michael, who was busy eating his Sensations crisps. He dug into his pocket and retrieved a dutty bent one. I screwed. "Fuck that, you tryna take the piss? Ain’t you got any fresh ones?" He shook his head.
"Take it or leave it fam," he said, waving it in my face. I kissed my teeth and pushed his hand away. We got to the bus stop and waited for the bus. Marik was still set on annoying Lewis. Not even gonna lie, it was joke whenever Lewis was vex. He’d turn red and start shouting out bare insults like he had tourettes.
"Lewis..." Marik began.
"What?!" He yelled. I laughed quietly, he was seriously pissed off, it was joke.
"Lewis, bubs, don’t shout. You know I don’t like it." Marik pouted. That was when Lewis dashed his Jawbreaker at his head. I started creasing at the reaction. Them Jawbreakers are hard y’know! No doubt it would leave a mark. Marik rubbed his forehead and smiled, completely unaffected.
"Didn’t hurt," he beamed.
"Shut the fuck up and leave me, battyman."
"But you enjoyed our kiss. Why deny the fact that you love these lips babes?" He bit the tip of his index finger and winked. Michael looked at him weirdly after that.
"Nah you’re taking it too far, I’m abit worried about you still." Marik laughed and shook his head.
"I’m joking man; Lewis takes everythin’ seriously. You done know if I was a battyman I wouldn’t even go for his type." Lewis paused and then narrowed his eyes.
"My type? What’s wrong wid me?" He questioned with flared nostrils. We all watched him silently.
“Fam...” I started.
"Nah, nah, he said my type. What, am I not good enough for you Marik?" He asked loudly. We all started laughing.
"Why’re you getting offended bruv? It’s like you want man to like you or summin’!" Lewis kissed his teeth.
"I just don’t see why you wouldn’t be attracted to me init,” he said grumpily, kicking a near-by stone. We all fell silent and stared at him.
That’s gay.
“Anyway,” Michael began, “My bredrin’s on his way here to meet us. He’s like two minutes away.”
"How come?" I questioned.
"We’re gonna link some skets later." I frowned. Why is everyone getting pussy now a days? It’s been awhile since man had a good beat...but I would never do anything to betray Sha’riah like that. I was prepared to wait for her, I could never be unfaithful. She’s my one and only...
I smiled at my thoughts. I was turning into some sweet-boy forreal.
I thought of Kiera and the last time I saw her. To be honest it was all for the sex, but she was a cool girl aswell. Maybe I should bell her later. Just then some breh approached us with his hands in his pockets. Looked like a wasteman to me. He got closer and spudded Michael, who introduced him as Ishmael. Never heard of him. He nodded to us and we continued to wait for the bus.
“So how you two know eachother?” Lewis asked, drinking his Rubicon Mango.
“Family friends, our mums are close,” Ishmael answered. Lewis nodded in return and went back to his phone. I checked the bus countdown and kissed my teeth. This bus was on some long shit. I could’ve been home by now if I walked. I saw Ishmael bring his phone out and call some chick.
"You alright?"
"....."
"Ishmael. You sound upset b, what’s wrong?"
"....."
"You don’t sound fine. Where are you?"
"....." He nodded.
"Aight, I’m comin’."
"....."
"Nah, I’m comin’, wait there."
He locked off and turned to Michael, who had just heard the convo.
"Aye, I’m going somewhere real quick, I’ll come buck you after yeah?" Michael nodded.
"Yeah cool." They spudded and he walked off in the opposite direction. I began to tap my foot, growing impatient with this stalling bus, but something across the road caught my eye. I squinted to clear my vision as I continued to watch the person on the other side. Swear he looked familiar?
"What you lookin’ at?" Lewis asked. I aired him, instead I watched the person across the road, screwing intently. This prick was stood by the gate by himself...just watching me. I noticed his arm was in a cast and sling. That was when I realised who he was. I gnashed my teeth together.
Dylan.
Sha’riah
"Mum?" I rasped as I continued to gape at her. She looked truly terrible. Her clothes were tattered and worn out; she wore rags, now greying and losing its rich colour and quality. Her once blithe face had become wrinkled and dry. The stress lines were prominent on her face as she watched me with cold eyes. Her skin was no longer vibrant, but instead off-colour and pale. The most noticeable thing was the bags under her eyes—she hadn’t slept in days. She didn’t move an inch, she didn’t even blink. I closed my gaping mouth and frowned, she seemed unresponsive. She definitely didn’t look herself; she was like a whole different person. Her dry, crinkled lips parted as she rasped out,
“Sh-Sha’riah...” Her eyes widened in wonderment, as if she couldn’t believe it was actually me.
"Yeah, it’s me...” I muttered, swallowing hard. “Can I come in?" Her lip trembled. She nodded once and stepped aside to let me through. I stepped into the house. The sudden stench of alcohol hit my nose, the smell was so strong I gagged and covered my nose. The house was literally trashed: all the walls were grubby and dirty, clothes were all over the floor and Shawn’s old toys were clattered. I stepped further into the house once the door was shut and peered into the rooms. All the lights were off, our most treasured family portrait was smashed in the middle of the living-room floor. The kitchen door was broken off its hinges and the sink tap was running continuously. I slowly turned to peer at mum, who stood there crying silently, obviously aware of my reaction to our home. Her face was buried in her palms as she wept. I remained silent and stood before her. Then without any words, I hugged her tight and she held me immediately, crying on my shoulder. I can’t remember the last time we shared a bonding hug like this, seemed like so long ago now.
"I’m so sorry, Riah," she sniffled. I patted her back consolingly.
"Shh, it’s okay...mami." She released me and clumsily wiped her tears. She then leaned against the wall and slid down until she was sat on the floor. She hugged her legs and I sat beside her. Although she wiped her cheeks, tears were still flowing endlessly. I watched her; worn out and scraggy. She had really let herself go. It was quiet as she glared at the floor. I stared at our surroundings, still finding it hard to believe how trashed our house was. She had done all this—merely out of anger, it was so obvious. I sighed but perked up when I heard her speak.
"I didn’t mean to neglect you,” she sniffed once again. I watched her silently as she continued. “I knew you had not been impregnated. Deep down, I was aware. I just wanted to be angry. I’ve felt so lost ever since Shawn’s death. I needed some kind of release for this pent up aggression, I just happened to choose you. I know that was wrong of me, and I’m deeply sorry. It was all an excuse to let loose. I shouldn’t have driven you away, after losing one child it was foolish to throw out another, for something you never done...” She sighed and clenched her fists in angst.
"...then when you and Tanisha left I became so alone, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I began to beat myself up for the way I treated you. Even Tanisha, I was harsh on her and she had no idea why. I needed some kind of gateway to express these feelings. Eventually I grew impatient; I wanted to see you both so badly, but I decided not to call, after all you wouldn’t have wanted to talk to me. Now I’m just...” She sighed, unable to reveal anything else. She wiped her damp cheek once again and I studied her in shock. Not one Spanish word passed her lips—another sign that she had changed drastically. It was as if she had forgotten out heritage, either that or she was dismissing it. She dug into her pocket and retrieved a small see-through bag with white powder inside. She clutched it tight and held it securely in her palm like her life depended on it. My eyes bulged.
"What’s that?" I asked, already knowing the answer. She breathed deeply and shivered.
"The only thing I have left to drown my sorrows, Riah. You don’t understand what I’ve been through..." Her head hung low, almost in shame. I reached for the bag and grabbed it. The powder was soft and the scent was strong. I analysed it closely before turning to her.
"How long have you been taking this?" I questioned. She remained silent and I found myself growing angry. “Mum!”
“Ever since you left. I had nothing else to turn to." My eyebrows furrowed. No wonder her appearance had changed so much...this was it. After all this enclosed depression and hurt, she had finally cracked. I hastily stood up and headed to the bathroom, with her following close behind.
“What are you doing?” She asked feebly. I ripped open the little bag and lifted the toilet lid. I looked at her once again and prepared to pour it down the toilet. She screamed in protest and lunged toward me. She clamped down on my arms before I had the chance to proceed.
“Don’t!” She yelled desperately. I gritted my teeth. For a worn out woman she was strong!
"Let go of me. I have to dispose of this, look what it’s done to you!” I attempted to pour but she roughly pulled me back and tackled me to the ground in an attempt to get the bag. I held onto it tight. She gripped onto my hair and yanked me hard. I cried in pain and released the bag. She then snatched the bag and slapped me across the face. The room fell silent. My cheek stung from the contact. I watched her in awe and she stood up, now breathing heavily from the struggle.
“Don’t you dare do that again!” She warned. I glanced up at her, now holding my cheek.
“So this is it? You choose drugs over your own daughter?" I questioned, standing up. She turned away and remained silent. "Well?" I urged. She peered at the bag and hugged it to her chest.
There was my answer.
"I see..." I whispered with a brief nod. I slowly walked out of the bathroom with her calling after me. I got to the front door and opened it gradually. She ran out of the bathroom, still holding the bag firmly.
"Riah, wait!" I paused, still with my back to her. “We can sort this out, I can get help. I swear! Cualquier cosa!”
“Drop the bag then.” I ordered with my hand still on the doorknob. I heard no other movement, she remained still. I finally glanced back to see she was still clutching the little bag. "If you loved and cherished me, Tanisha—your whole family—you would give me the bag." She froze and bit her lip, contemplating this. I shook my head and opened the door fully. “I guess I know where we stand. Enjoy your lonely life, Sheryl." She stiffened at the mention of her name. I left the house and slammed the door behind me. I couldn’t believe what just happened. My own mother had broken down to someone so fragile. I honestly thought she was stronger than that. I sighed and walked down the road aimlessly. I suppose after all she’d been through this kind of response was inevitable. But we got off to a good start, why did she have to ruin it?
I didn't realise i was crying until the salty taste reached my lips. I sniffed, trying my best to compose myself but it didn’t work for shit. I got to the bus stop and waited with tears still racing down my cheeks. My phone began to ring. I answered without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello?"
"You alright?" I sniffed and wiped the foolish tears away.
"Who’s this?"
"Ishmael. You sound upset b, what’s wrong?"
"I-I’m fine."
"You don't sound fine. Where are you?"
"250 bus stop."
"Aight, I’m comin’."
"It's okay, I’m alright."
"Nah, I’m comin’, wait there." I sighed and scratched my head.
"Okay." He locked off and I sat on the bench. People passed by and stared at me like I was some kind of mentally deranged child. Fuck ‘em, they have no idea what I’m going through. I ignored the passerby’s and glanced at the countdown. With any luck, the bus would come before Ishmael does—that would prevent alot of embarrassment, I look like a tramp right now. My phone suddenly vibrated twice...a text. I looked at my phone quizzically.
I can see u,
better watch ur back
wudnt want ur man 2 worry bout u init?
It was an unknown number. My heart rate increased and a lump formed in my throat. I quickly peered around suspiciously, trying to spot any odd characters about, but no-one was in sight. I deleted the text and swallowed hard before stuffing my phone back in my pocket.
Who was that text from?
Marcus
Dylan? Swear down my man came back for more beatings. I continued to stare back with the same form of intensity. I analysed him and smiled at the fact he had a cast and sling around his arm. Seems like I broke the poor fuckers arm. Hah!
"What you lookin’ at?" Marik questioned, following my gaze. I pointed across the road to Dylan and the rest stared.
"What happened to his arm?" Lewis asked. I smirked to myself.
"Ask him yourself." I replied. I knew soon rumours would go round that I fucked him up, and I couldn’t wait.
"So why you screwin’ him?" Michael questioned. I faced him.
"He thinks he can take man for a prick."
"What did he do?" Marik raised a brow. With all these questions man thought he was in an interview.
"Remember Shankz," I began. They all screwed at the mention of his name. "Well Dylan’s a snake init, cos this whole time he was jammin’ wid Shankz when man was in hospital. No wonder he didn’t come visit man." I kissed my teeth and Marik’s screw screwed, still peering over at him.
"So why’s he just standin’ dere?" He asked. I shrugged.
"Fuck knows, but if he’s a big man, he’ll come over here and tell me wagwaan." I sneered. I narrowed my eyes at him but he just continued to stare at man, remaining perfectly still. Not even blinking...just standing there. I raised a brow.
Does man think he’s a mannequin?
I carried on watching him, viewing his every move. He was a snaky one; he could be up to some freaky shit. Suddenly he moved his good arm slightly to point towards his wrist that remained in the sling. Then he done something I didn’t expect...he smirked. We all watched as he mouthed clearly "the time is near." My face twisted in confusion. That was when our bus came. Michael sighed.
“About fucking time!” We all got on and headed to the top at the back. I peered out the window to look at him again. He was stood in the same spot, still pointing to his watch with a conniving smile on his lips. I screwed then the bus drove off. I kissed my teeth, still watching him as the bus sped off.
"Don’t tell me you’re still watchin’ him?" Lewis chuckled. I shook my head and decided to rid all of the bad thoughts that were clouding my brain. Now wasn’t the time to be paranoid.
"Nah...nah I’m not." I cleared my throat and faced ahead.
"You was in some kinda trance fam." Marik laughed and I chuckled nervously.
"Yeah, so how’s your ting, Marcus?" Michael questioned, referring to Sha’riah. My eyebrows furrowed immediately.
"She ain’t my ‘ting’, she’s my girl," I replied sternly.
"Rarh, aight! Is that you now yeah? You ain’t had a wifey in time," Lewis whistled. I chuckled at this prick.
"Alie, usually it’s just beats wid you, init? So what happened?" Marik asked intrigued. I shrugged. These man carry on like I’m some fucking-machine.
"I love her init," I admitted. They all glanced at eachother then started creasin’, hard.
"Marcus is in love!" Lewis shrieked, now turning red
"So gay!" Michael called out. I rolled my eyes and they eventually calmed down, clearing their throats. They always got like this whenever someone mentioned that word—immature cunts.
"Forreal though, we don’t feel love, we’re still young.” Marik wiped a stray tear.
“It must be his dick that loves her,” Michael laughed but paused when I screwed him. “Nah, I joke I joke. That’s nice man. You’re finally settling down." I kissed my teeth.
"Keep talkin’, prick."
"That actually reminds me, have you beat yet?" Lewis asked with interest. They all leaned closer to hear my answer. It was jarring the way everyone was so into our relationship. I looked away and kissed my teeth again. That caused them to start laughing again.
"That means no," Michael whispered. They all started creasing. I exhaled loudly and stood up.
"You lot won’t even understand. All you do is fuck girls and move on,"
“So do you,” Marik raised a brow.
“That was before. You man are too immature forreal.” I shook my head and got off the bus. It wasn’t even my stop but I had to leave before I threw one of them into the window. I already murked Dylan and Shankz, I didn’t want one of them to be the next victim. I stuffed my hands into my pockets and decided to walk the rest of the way. I didn’t get very far before my phone vibrated. I checked the text from Marik.
Why did u go man?
Stop bein a pussy blud we was only jkin
Man will bell yu lata
I gritted my teeth and deleted the text before putting my phone away. That was when I bumped into someone and caused them to drop their bag. I apologised and bent down to pick it up; just as I did, their hands reached out aswell and brushed against mine, touching the bag aswell, attempting to retrieve it. I hadn’t even looked at the girls face yet, but her hands felt extremely familiar. I picked up the bag and we both stood up. I realised it was Kiera, looking more beautiful than ever. I gave a small smile. With Sha’riah in the picture I guess I forgot that Kiera even existed, but I heard she visited man in hospital a couple times, and for that I was grateful. Her grin widened once she realised it was me.
"Marcus!" She yelped in awe. I chuckled at her outburst. The last time she saw me I was knocked out on the hospital bed. She collided into my chest and hugged me tight, dropping the bag all over again. "I’m so glad you’re okay!" She squeezed me tight. I laughed and held her loosely, rubbing her back. It took awhile for her to let go.
“Course, nothing keeps me down.” I said with a smirk. Her smile wavered.
"I’m so happy to see you." She admitted quietly. I saw the faint blush on her cheeks and smiled.
“It’s good to see you too. I know you came to see me.”
“Yeah, more than once.”
“I appreciate that.” She suddenly appeared shy. I remembered the last time we were together and how shy she was when I undressed her and fondled with her. The memory was good, but I couldn’t think that anymore since I had Sha’riah now. Numerous people walked past us but it didn’t matter, all my focus was on her. The silence grew awkward until she decided to speak.
"Is it weird that ever since..." she cleared her throat "...that night, I can’t stop thinking about you?" Her blush appeared again and I chuckled. Truthfully she was on my mind after that time aswell; it had been awhile since I had good sex like that.
“It’s not weird,” I answered. She smiled.
"So how’ve you been?"
"Just been relaxing; can’t stay inside all day though, man has another chance at life. What about you?" She shrugged and bent down to pick up her bag.
"I’ve been better. I spent most of my time worrying about you but since you’re okay, I can rest now.” She then paused and her eyes became lidded as she watched me. “I was just on my way home. Wanna come round...for old time’s sake?" Her voice was now low and lustful. I glanced down at her exposed cleavage and thick thighs that were prominent through her clear leggings. I remembered how tight and warm she was, and...
...and I remembered Sha’riah, and how I could never be unfaithful to her.
As tempting as the idea was, and how sexy she was—I couldn’t.
I shook my head.
"I’m cool, got somethin’ to do, but I’ll bell you later." She frowned slightly in disappointment.
"Okay. I have a new number." I retrieved my phone and handed it to her. She tapped in her number then gave me back the phone. She began to walk off but turned back to me.
"See you around," I watched her fat ass and nodded.
"Yeah..." She beamed and gave a little wave before turning the corner. I sighed to myself and continued my journey. It was hard to repel someone like Kiera. After fucking her a few times it was obvious she grew addicted. If Sha’riah weren’t so special to me I probably would’ve offered to take Kiera back to mine and get to work. I put my hood up and breathed deeply. Apart from that, Dylan was on my mind. Fucking wasted snake—needs to get shot. If only I had a strap or summin’.
Then I remembered him saying "time is near" before giving me that evil smirk. I could still picture that smug look on his face, like he was up to something...but what?
What was he planning?
Sha’riah
The cold air enthralled me, causing me to shiver endlessly. I trembled as I continued to shift my eyes from left to right impatiently. I saw a figure from down the road and knew straight away it was him. Ishmael, finally! I’ve been waiting forever in the friggin’ cold like some homeless wench! He came closer and smiled down at me.
"You alright b?" I stared at him blankly.
“Do I look fucking alright? It’s cold and you got me sat here like a prick. I’m freezing!” He chuckled and was about to pull of his hoody when I stopped him with the wave of my hand. He already gave me one of his hoody’s that I was already planning to keep, giving me one more would be ridiculous. "Keep it," I declared. He sat beside me on the bench and watched me closely.
"You still seem upset. What’s wrong?" Now he had reminded me of mami—...Sheryl. I sniffed from my newly-adapted cold and thought quietly to myself.
Well let’s see...I just discovered that my mum’s a fucked up drug addict and has been for the past 4 months. But it’s alright, cos apparently she no longer has a family to help her out, since her drugs are more important.
"Nothin’," I grumbled. He gave me an unconvinced look and I sighed in frustration. "Really, I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me." He edged closer.
"See that’s where you’re wrong. I do need to worry about you. I care about you...alot." his face was stern yet sincere. I smiled weakly at him.
“How can you care so much for someone you barely know?”
“It’s possible.” I peered away from him.
"Well I’m okay."
"I don’t believe that, but when you’re ready to tell someone, I’m here." I nodded and felt all warm inside at the sentiment.
"I will," I lied. I could never tell him about my problems; it was a long list to begin with. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer in an attempt to keep me warm.
"Due," he mused to himself, referring to the bus. I sighed and coughed. My cold was getting worse already. He noticed and squeezed me.
"You have a cold?" I nodded and he smiled. "Aww, Sha’riah babes. I chuckled.
"I don’t your damn sympathy, Ishy." His brow rose and all humour left his face.
"What did you just call me?"
"Ishy."
"Nah, that’s fucked." I giggled.
"What’s wrong with Ishy?" He kissed his teeth. "It’s cute," I defended.
"No it’s not, it’s fucking gay."
"I don’t care what you say, it remains." His lips broke out into a smile.
"I’ll allow you since today isn’t your day. Just don’t say it in public.”
“I do what I want.” He rolled his eyes and the bus came. We stepped on and headed straight upstairs. I was thankful to be in the warmth once again, even if it was only for a short amount of time. Throughout the journey we spoke and got to know eachother more. I felt alot better around him. Especially since me and Marcus still weren’t on talking terms that much, it was nice to be able to confide in someone else. Ishy truly was a good friend.We carried on talking and I paused when I felt my phone vibrate. I retrieved my phone and read the text.
Who's tht yout ur wid hm?
Cheatin on ur man alredy yh?
Wouldnt want him to find out.
Tut tut
I raised an eyebrow at the unknown source. This was really dodgy and it was beginning to worry me now. I decided to put my phone away and peered around me on the bus to check for any suspicious people.
Who the fuck was spying on me?
I was never usually a paranoid person, but this could easily change me. I looked out the window, then behind to the passengers, who watched me oddly in return. Ishmael looked at me suspiciously.
"You alright?" I swallowed hard before facing him with a weak smile.
"Y-Yeah, I’m good." He shot me an odd glance then faced the widow. I looked around one last time just to confirm that this person wasn’t on the bus.
When we stepped off the bus we walked down the road in comfortable silence. I decided to dismiss that fucked up text and placed it to the back of my mind. I wonder how Marcus would react if I brought Ishmael round to his house. I mean, it’s not as if I was cheating on him or anything. He wouldn’t care if it was a female friend like Kamillah, so Ishmael shouldn’t be any different, right? Only one way to find out. I took the spare keys out my pocket and opened the front door. I pushed it open and allowed him to step in first. I entered after him and closed the door behind me. I knew Ryan was out somewhere and Ms. Weller was at a friends’, so we had the house to ourselves for now. I let us in the house. I kicked off my trainers whilst he looked around.
"Nice house," he commented. I laughed and shook my head.
"It isn’t mine, but thanks.” He raised a brow.
“Who’s is it?”
“My man’s.” He then gave me a look.
“You sure he won’t mind me being here?” I shrugged.
“He’ll probably overreact, but if I explain, he’ll be fine.” He nodded slowly. “Plus he’s used to me bringing people round since I’m staying here for awhile..." While I remain fucking homeless.
"Oh, seen." I led him into the living-room and we both sat down on the sofa.
"Want anything?" I asked. He shook his head.
"Can’t really stay long, goin’ on a link later wid my bredrin."
"Oh." He frowned.
"I can cancel...if you want me to stay, I will." I smiled and shook my head.
"It’s cool; I don’t wanna ruin your plans and be a cock-block.” He laughed.
“How do you know I’ll beat?” I rolled my eyes.
“It’s obvious.”
“What do you take man for?”
“Were you planning to beat?” His smile widened.
“Aight, I was, but still.” I laughed quietly and shook my head.
“Point proven.” I gave a smug smile. He kissed his teeth. “You sure you don’t want a drink or anything?” I questioned again just to make sure. He chuckled and shook his head.
"Nah I’m fine. You’re not though, I wanna know what’s wrong wid you," he insisted as he moved closer. I sighed. I vowed to myself I wouldn’t tell anyone, especially someone I didn’t know well like Ishmael, but since Marcus weren’t around and I wanted to release this angst...might aswell.
"It’s nothin’, but if you really have to know—"
"Yeah, I do." I peered at him and sighed.
"I went to visit my mum literally an hour ago. I hadn’t seen her for awhile since I was in Liverpool for awhile with my da—...family, I decided to go and visit her.” I swallowed hard, now realising this part was the hardest to get out. “I went there and she looked completely different, like she changed so much. She was no longer loving or gentle. She seemed so...I don’t even know. But I could understand why.”
“What you mean?” He queried with a raised a brow.
“She told me that she had been doing drugs ever since I left...things like cocaine and heroin. I was so shocked; I didn’t even know what to say. But it did explain why our house was a mess and everything..." His face expression changed completely and as expected, a wave of sympathy was displayed on his face. He placed his arm around my shoulder as I continued. "I told her to choose between me and the drugs...and she chose her drugs so...” I shrugged nonchalantly, "I guess she’s no longer my mother." A tear rolled down my cheek as I remembered the commotion that took place not too long ago. He hugged me as I cried silently into his shirt. I was meant to be stronger than this; I wasn’t planning to cry so helplessly, it wasn’t like me at all—not anymore anyway. He stroked my back softly and shushed me.
"It’s gonna be alright b," he soothed. I was so used to hearing the same line from Marcus; I didn’t even believe it anymore.
"No it’s not," I muttered into his shirt. He gripped me tighter.
"Is there a reason why she's taking drugs?" He asked. I released him to wipe my foolish teas, then I nodded my head slowly.
"She’s been taking them since my little brother died, apparently. She’s changed, everything about her is different; her behaviour, her personality...everything. She doesn’t even look at me in the same way. It’s like she’s possessed. And the worst thing is..." another tear escaped. "I’m scared. I’m scared of my own mum—the woman who used to be so loving and caring and now...she’s okay with attacking her own daughter just for drugs."
"She attacked you?" I nodded.
“Nothing bad, but it’s just shocking.” He sighed then pulled me into his warm embrace once again.
"Just give her some time," he simply said as he stroked my hair. “It would be hard for anyone to go through that. It’s obvious your mum is depressed and thinks that shit like cocaine could help overcome it. I say you just leave her for awhile then admit her to some kind of rehab therapy ting.” I nodded slowly, just taking this all in. It felt good to get this all off my chest, but sadly it didn’t make me feel any better. His advice seemed wise enough...still felt like shit though. I sniffed and returned his cuddle. His hugs were so comforting and soothing, but they have nothing Marcus’. After a while I calmed down and decided to focus on the brighter side to life. I couldn’t be all depressed now; I spent way too much time upset already. Ishmael released me, and we both peered into eachother’s eyes. Truthfully he wasn’t my type, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t attractive. I peered at his pursed lips; very moist and plump. We were closer than before, but I don’t even remember leaning forward. He stared with such intensity and licked his lips.
"Are you okay now?" He asked. I nodded once; my eyes never leaving his. Blinking was no longer an option. He breathed out deeply. The sweet smell of his breath tickled my cheek, making me smile. He smiled back. "What?" I laughed and shook my head.
"Nothing."
"Atleast you’re smiling now. I don’t like seeing you upset."
"Mmhm." It was silent for a few minutes. It was weird how we were still watching other, but for some reason my pupils remained focused on his lips. He finally opened his mouth to speak, breaking the intense silence.
"You’re really beautiful, Sha’riah," he said softly. I blinked in question.
“That’s nice and all, but I hear that alot so it tends to lose meaning.”
“I can understand that, but I wouldn’t say that for the sake of it. I mean everything I say.” His glare was so serious; I had no choice but to believe him.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I’m probably gonna get fucked up for this..." suddenly he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. I remained frozen in shock with my eyes wide open. I watched him; eyes closed and eyebrows raised in affection. I didn’t respond to the kiss, but I didn’t exactly push him away. I sat there, thinking of the best way to put a stop to this. He gradually opened his mouth, causing mine to do the same. I gulped as his tongue sought out mine and stroked in circular motion; our saliva mixing together. I still didn’t respond, instead I breathed deeply through my nostrils and held onto his shoulders firmly. I gently pushed him away and sighed. He watched me with lidded eyes.
"Are you gonna fuck me up?” He asked slowly; his voice husky. I laughed a little.
“No.”
“You should. I’d be lying if I said it was an accident.” I raised a brow.
“I don’t understand why you’d do it.”
“I’d be mad not to.” I turned away. “Sorry. I know you have a man and that...I just wanted to see what it would be like to kiss you.”
“And what was it like?” I asked out of curiosity. His tongue trailed over his bottom lip.
“Nice. I’d fully do it again.” I smiled. I should be angry at Ishy, but I had no ill feelings towards him after doing that. I didn’t kiss him back, but I was still just as bad for allowing it. This counted as cheating, didn’t it? And in his house aswell...that was disrespectful.
Marcus is gonna kill me.
“I’m gonna go,” he announced, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded in response and we both stood up. He hugged me briefly and smiled at me.
“So I’ll be seeing you on Saturday?” I nodded.
“Course, gonna party hard.” He chuckled.
“Maybe I could get a dance?” He smirked suggestively.
“We’ll see.” Then he pulled me closer.
"How about a friendly kiss for the road?" He asked. I laughed at his foolishness.
“You must be mad. Once was bad enough. I couldn’t do that to Mar—” He yanked me forward and laid his lips on mine again. My eyes bulged and I attempted to push him away but he held onto my arms. I struggled in his grip but he continued, trying to slide his tongue into my mouth again. He laughed into the kiss as I struggled. I squirmed but he proceeded, as if this were a game. I was beginning to get angry now. What if he came back home to see this?
"What the fuck!" Both me and Ishmael spun around to witness Marcus standing in the doorway; a single vein throbbing on his forehead and clenched fists.
Oh no.