" Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape."
- Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
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All Catherine could think about was Malarkey. He had lost Bill, Joe, Buck and now his best friends Skip and Penkala. She couldn't imagine the pain in his heart. The girls had been friends with Skip and Penkala and they'd been such fun people, Hazel didn't even know how to react to knowing they were dead, they were just gone. Her heart felt heavy when she saw Malarkey and George and Lip and a few others cleaning out the foxhole. Malarkey looked so sad and emotional distressed. She felt horrible just seeing him lose so many people.
Buck, Joe, Bill, Skip, Penkala.
5 of his best friends.
But Hazel couldn't cry, she had to be strong for Malarkey, if he saw people crying it might hurt him even more. They moved back into their old position which overlooked Foy, but everyone was worried for Don Malarkey.
Everyone.
Every private through Lieutenant was worried for the man.
Especially Winters.
Catherine was close with the two, and she had seen them in their final moments, so, she took it upon herself to put a brave face up for Malarkey. Catherine moved towards Malarkey's foxhole that he was sharing with Babe now.
When Catherine approached, she saw that Hazel was sitting beside him and talking to him. Hazel's voice was like an angel talking in Malarkey's ear. It was also so genuine and sweet, he was so glad Hazel had visited him.
" When this is over, we'll play darts again, we'll make our own team." she said, as she grabbed his hand in his, and squeezed it tight.
" Yeah," Malarkey said with a smile looking at the girl.
" I'm gonna go, make sure Shifty finished covering the foxhole." Hazel said softly as Malarkey nodded. She gently reached forward and kissed his cheek before leaning back and smiling at him. He smiled at her with sad eyes.
" See ya, Malark." she said before standing with a tiny smile and leaving the foxhole. When she left, she spotted Catherine standing there. Catherine smiled at her and Hazel glanced back at Malarkey. She looked at Catherine again and nodded. Hazel watched as Catherine slowly sat in next to Malarkey. Hazel sighed to herself and then headed forward.
" Hazel," she heard a voice call and she turned to see it was Lip.
" Hey, Lip." she said, as a tiny smile spread across her face.
" How're you doing?" he asked her when he arrived by her side.
" Not that great, but I'm putting on a brave face, for Malarkey." she said softly. Lip smiled at her.
" They'll be ok, but I think we're all doing the same for them." Lip said and Hazel nodded with a smile.
" I'll see you around, gotta make sure Shifty's ok." Hazel said and Lip nodded.
" Stay warm." Lip said softly and she nodded.
" You, too." she said softly. Hazel smiled and then headed towards her foxhole again, excited to finally dive under the covers and get some warmth to her finger tips again. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest as she shivered and felt frozen like a popsicle stick. Hazel was trying to quickly, keep out of sight, and get to the foxhole, and finally get a good amount of rest.
But that's when she heard a whistle, echoing above her head. Hazel picked up her pace, looking up towards the sky as an explosion went off to her left, blasting Hazel to her right and straight onto the cold, hard, ground. Hazel let out a groan as the world shook with what felt like an earthquake around her.
Everything was shaking and her ears were ringing. Hazel had to get moving, she had to get back towards the foxhole; she couldn't worry Shifty, for his sake. Explosions went off around her, as she pushed up against a tree, the fiery explosions of light not letting up. She pushed off the tree and ran through the explosions, as they fell on top of her and all around her like a nightmare. She kept going, pushing through, crouching when she needed to, and moving when she could to get to a foxhole.
Hazel then she felt something dig itself into her side as she felt herself propelled to a heap on the ground. Her body flew as if it were a projectile and she landed roughly in the snow, curled in a ball, a whimper escaping her lips.
Suddenly, there was pain everywhere.
And then she was crying.
Her hands immediately shot to her side, as pain swarmed her system, her brain like a blinking bulb, trying to tell her something was wrong.
Something was wrong.
Something was horribly wrong.
What was wrong?
Hazel's hand pulled back and blood lay on her fingers and her palm, dark, crimson red blood. She let out another loud, pained cry, as the pain became unbearable. She wriggled on her side, in the snow as blood poured out and onto the snow.
Her hands twitched as she reached for the wind her eyes filled with blurry tears as she couldn't even focus on what she had to do first. She flipped onto her back as explosions rocketed around her, forcing herself to curl into a ball against a tree, and push a hand onto her bleeding wound, praying it would stop bleeding, praying her screams would quiet for a moment, praying that as she lie there now, the world could just stop shaking.
She prayed that if God was true about his motives that he would save her in this moment.
Suddenly she was light headed, and she saw spots dancing across her vision, and she felt sick. She couldn't breath either, hacking and coughing, her side screaming at her to do something.
That she needed to do something.
She felt herself slowly blacking out, slowly letting the pain that became too much overtake her.
All that pain, it was to unbearable.
Hazel stared at the stars, as the explosions, as if they were fireworks, went off like rockets around her. They were so bright, despite the darkness, despite the war. Hazel felt a faint smile on her lips, if this was God's path, then she would accept it.
" Guide me and guard my Lord, lead me to the light." she whispered, her voice barely making it past her lips as the world shook around her entire being.
Her eyes lids slowly fluttered to a close as the pain became too harsh to even deal with, and she passed out.
Hazel had passed out.
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ANNOUNCEMENT
HI OKAY NO ONE FREAK OUT ON ME! :) i know what you're all thinking, what you're all feeling, but this, this is the pivotal moment in the story where book 2 needed to then start, where the title Ad Astra Per Aspera starts to make sense. since this is the end of book one, book two will be posted up with this update, so if you would like your questions answered, head over to my account and you'll see the book up with 2 or 3 chapters set in place for you all, since i know you all are wondering what happened. book 2 will have an introduction and a cast list as does this book and chapters.
thank you all for this incredible journey through book one, supporting me, providing comments that made me laugh so hard, voting on chapters, reading my chapters, and giving so much support for a book i genuinely thought no one would really find themselves getting into. but here we are, and i'm posting this second book. i can't thank you all enough, without you, i would've never thought to even continue this story, or even decide to write this far, and come up with this part of the story, or even make a second book and just bother with one big one. but there's much more to hazel's story than just this and a second book needed to be provided for it. a second book was a definite.
you'll see hazel's struggles, dealing with her wound, her mental battle and her want to get back to easy and you'll see how easy struggles with coping with all the losses, especially hazel's. and finally of course you will see the end of this war in the next book, and what that means for the 3 ladies; hazel, catherine and lizzie and what they will go through in life back in america when operation virago is finally told to the world.
i can promise you, you don't want to miss it!!
thank you all so much, and keep being you!! <3