Tessa
So I guess that's it.
When I get home Easton looks like he hasn't budged and I don't even feel like changing I just pull the cover over me and lay down.
I lay down and just cry.
I can't do this. I can't marry this man laying next to me. But the person I want to be with doesn't even want me. I have no idea what I am doing anymore.
Before I know it my alarm is going off. I must have cried myself to sleep.
I look over and Easton is already up.
Today is our wedding shower. It's not fair to accept gifts meant for a life I don't wish to share with someone. None of this is fair.
When I said yes I thought I was ready for all this I thought I had moved on because I had to Hardin left and it wasn't meant to be.
But him being back it changed everything for me. It changed me. I can't let go of what we could be.
How do I tell the man that I am supposed to marry that I am in love with someone else (even though that person clearly doesn't love me back).
Next thing I know I hear my mom walk in while I am still just sitting in my bed in my clothes from the night before. Easton must have let her in before he left.
"Today is the big day, what are you doing still in bed?" Asks my mom.
"Just tired still I guess." I reply.
"What is it?" She asks.
"Nothing I'm fine." I reply as I finally get up and head into the shower.
I see a text from Hardin before I get it the shower that must of been from last night that I never saw. "Sorry again about tonight."
Sorry what? Sorry you came back and made me believe in us again and then wanted nothing to do with me.
Sorry you made me realize I am marrying this man who I know I'm not meant to be with.
When I get out of the shower my mom has my dress laid out on the bed and my wedges lying on the floor.
I feel like i am just going through the motions getting ready.
Easton left early to help his mom set some things up at the shower. So my mom and I drive together.
"Teresa whatever this look is on your face can you get rid of it and smile." My mom scolds me.
"Sure" I simply reply.
"It's Hardin isn't it. Did you sleep with him?" She asks.
"That's none of your business." I say slightly raising my voice.
"Whatever you did with him, let it go. You were always too good for that boy and look he always finds a way to mess things up for you." She says.
"You don't know what you are talking about." I say back.
I can't get out of the car fast enough. When I arrive Easton grabs me from behind and gives me a kiss. "You look beautiful" he says.
"Thank you" I say.
Again a lot of mingling of lot of going through the motions.
"Tessa you look gorgeous" says Kim.
"Aww thank you!" I reply
We engage in a lot of small talk and then I just ask "how has Hardin been, with staying with you guys and everything?"
"Umm good" she replies but implying there is more to it.
"What's the umm for?" I ask
"Have you talked to him?" She asks back.
"Well I tried last night." I said.
"Well did something happen between you guys he came to our house super angry he broke a wine bottle in the kitchen and him and Christian got in a fight." She says.
"I mean we talked but nothing happened. He was distant but I wouldn't say angry." I reply.
"I know we are here for you and Easton and I know Hardin won't say it but I think he really needs you right now." Kim says.
Hardin has never needed anybody. And this will all be past him in a week and he can go on living his life. He made it clear last night he doesn't need me.
"I don't think so Kim. He told me last night that I need to live my life without him." I say
"Just talk to him again please." Kim says which is strange seeing as how she has never been the biggest Hardin fan.