chapter thirty-three: wanna hear a secret?
MONDAY MORNING. The prior morning had come and gone; I made Luke pancakes that were surprisingly good, we planned out our week, and I left after getting Luke in a hoodie that perfectly covered the marks I had left on his neck.
Today had been a long morning of meetings and I was currently fighting off the urge to lose all my energy as Tony talked specifically to me about her plans for me. She had been talking at me for so long that I was beginning to wilt and was impatiently waiting for the chance to get a word in.
"So, what do you think?" Tony asked me, suddenly bringing me back to reality. I realized I had no clue what she was referring to and began to panic.
"If we're starting this thing next week, we're going to need to get a solid idea established pronto." I looked over at Molly as she spoke and knew that I had really messed up by zoning out.
"Speaking as a close friend—I think you'd do great with the beauty idea but you might like to think about that music or literature route, as well?" I looked over at Emma and genuinely thought about running to her side just to kiss her out of gratitude. "That's if you're really interested in the review segment idea."
"What if we just didn't tie ourselves down to one area? What if we just simply started a first impressions segment. And whatever the viewers are interested in hearing about, we review? Whether it be a new album, a new book, a movie, or a beauty product? Hell, I could review clothing brands, alcohol brands... milk, even." Tony laughed at my words and Molly joined in; it was a supportive laugh, which comforted me.
"Josie... that's a brillant idea," Tony told me with a smile. "I love it! Why tie you down? You're right." I glanced at Emma to see her smiling and, thinking about how many times she had saved me in these meetings, I suddenly got an idea.
"What if it wasn't a solo segment? I mean... who's going to want to hear one opinion on something? What if... Emma cohosted?" Emma's eyes widened and her previous smile was replaced with a look of genuine shock, laced with worry. "It wouldn't have to always be Emma, but it could be? We have good chemistry—our back and forth is good... I just think it would spice things up."
"I mean..." Molly started to speak, looking over at Tony before making a final statement. "I really like that idea. Pat's never let anyone cohost and I've always said the show would be better if we had someone to play off of Pat. I've always wanted to see that kind of thing work."
"If Molly's interested, I am too—Emma?" Tony looked over at Emma at the end of her statement and I watched as Emma brought herself to the conversation. She had clearly left for a second, mentally, but she was back.
"I don't know... I've never done something like that. I might be really bad... and you wouldn't want people hating on the segment just because of me."
"Em, don't be silly," I said through a quiet snort. "Everyone would love you—you wouldn't mess it up. We could use the two of us as a sort of pilot... if it goes well? Then great! If we think it could've gone better, I can do the second episode solo and see what the people say."
"I think it's a great idea. I mean, it can't hurt," Molly said. "What does everyone else think?" I suddenly remembered there were five more people in our current meeting, and I looked down the table to observe their reactions.
"I think it sounds like a great idea—we'll just have to brainstorm something to review for the first go. We've all seen these two joke around enough in these meetings to know they have a great thing... I'm sure the masses would appreciate their energy." I smiled at my coworker—Arnie—and he smiled back. He was in charge of researching for article ideas, but he also helped Molly produce.
The door to the conference room creaked open and I smiled as I saw Stevie's curls bounce into the room. He was delivering coffees and I was stoked for my iced chai latte. We paused the meeting as he went around handing drinks out, and when got to me, I held my hands out.
"An iced caramel latte," he said as he handed me the drink.
"Josie's was an iced chai latte," Emma corrected and Stevie's previously confident smile disappeared.
"Damn," he said with a sigh. "I messed that up. I could run back—"
"Are you serious?" I asked as I let out a soft laugh. "It's not a big deal—I'll drink it. Don't worry."
"I didn't mean to make you feel bad, Stevie—I just thought you might have confused hers with someone else's," Emma stepped in, clearly feeling bad for having said anything.
"No—I should've gotten it right. It won't happen again, okay? You can count on me," Stevie told me as he looked at me intently. As I looked up into his eyes, I felt my breath hitch in my throat.
"It's really okay, Stevie. Don't beat yourself up. Maybe iced caramel lattes will become a new favorite." Stevie laughed quietly and shook his head, yet never broke eye contact.
"Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but I won't be able to sleep until I get it right," Stevie was being dramatic and I appreciated his joking manner. "Again, I'm really sorry. If that one sucks, I can really go back out."
"No, this is perfect." Stevie moved on from me and handed out the rest before leaving the room. Before he left, however, he mouthed a quick I'm sorry before closing the door behind him.
I couldn't help but feel strange after the whole encounter, but I tried to not think about it. Every time I took a sip of the latte, however, I couldn't help but think of him.
"I guess it's a cute idea—the two of us doing it together, I mean. I might be a little shaky, but it could work well," Emma said after we all reconvened. "I'm down, is what I'm saying."
"Great," Molly said before flashing Emma a smile. "Now... what are you guys going to review?"
"Well, are we still partnered with the boys? We could review their new album—"
"Joseline Culley—you deserve a gold star."
. . .
"Did you find anything weird about what happened earlier, with Stevie?" I asked Emma as we were walking to our office, for lunch. "I don't know how to describe it, but I felt something—"
As we walked through the door, I jumped in surprise as my eyes landed on Ashton and Luke. They were sitting on the couch in our office and smiling wide.
"We brought you all lunch," Ashton said as he stood up, closely followed by Luke.
"It was my idea, but Ashton wanted to be responsible for your lunch, Emma." Emma's eyes playfully rolled but we immediately thanked the boys. They had gotten food from the noodle place I loved and I was ecstatic. Luke handed me my food and I thanked him before walking to my desk. He followed me and sat on the edge of my desk, which I didn't mind.
"How were your morning meetings?" Ashton asked as he sat beside Emma on the couch. Emma told Luke he could use her chair, and he didn't hesitate to get off my desk and do so, pulling it over to be closer to me.
"I'd say they were pretty good," Emma answered with a smile. "Wanna hear a secret?"
"Of course," Ashton said with a smile as well.
"I'm gonna be in Josie's new segment! I won't always join, most likely, but that's the plan!" I smiled at Emma's clear excitement, mostly because it had developed slowly, yet it seemed to be staying around.
"Wait, that's awesome," Ashton said, seeming happy for Emma. "What is it going to be?" Ashton asked, looking from Emma to me.
"We're doing first impressions of various products... all sorts of products," I said, smiling excitedly as I thought about what the first episode would be. "But the first episode is a surprise. You guys will have to watch and see."
"This is exciting, you guys," Luke said through a smile as he sat back with his bowl in his hands. "We'll have to tune in weekly when we're on tour."
"You guys should come on tour with us and give your first impressions of every song we sing. Or our outfits each night. Ooh! Or our tour bus—"
"Ash, we can't go on tour with you," Emma told Ashton, throwing his dreams out the window. He sighed quietly but nodded, knowing we couldn't.
"But imagine how good that'd be."
"It would be great," I assured Ashton, which caused him to smile. "What do you think we should review, Luke?"
"Oh, I don't know. I'm not good at thinking of that kind of thing." Luke took a bite of his food directly after speaking, somehow getting himself off the hook from enduring further questions.
"I think our first episode will be really good... hopefully." I looked over at Emma and she smiled as she nodded. "Thank you guys for the food," I said after taking a bite.
"It was very sweet of you two... even if it was Luke's idea," Emma said which resulted in Ashton gently elbowing her. They both began laughing together and I smiled as I looked over at them. I glanced over at Luke to see him looking at me and I sent him a small smile before looking down at my food. The four of us didn't make too much conversation, but the silence we held was comfortable and enjoyable.
"What do you guys have planned for the rest of the day?" I asked, acting as though Luke hadn't told me his detailed plans for the week.
"We're meeting Calum and Mikey at my place after this—we haven't had us time in a while. But that's only for a couple of hours before we go to the studio." Ashton shoved a mouthful of food into his mouth after speaking and I laughed quietly at his action.
"Thankfully it's an early night... I can't wait to be home by six," Luke said, most likely reminding me of when I was expected to head over to his. There was no need, however, because I was fully aware of the schedule we had made together. Reminders were unnecessary. I looked over at Ashton and Emma to see Ashton leaned over, whispering something to Emma.
I watched as her face twisted into worry and she simply shook her head in response to what Ashton had said, and I could tell something wasn't right. The look on her face reminded me of what had happened at dinner on Friday and I gently bit my lip as I wondered if it was related.
"You'll have to tell the guys that we say hello," I said and watched as Emma came out of her previous state just to nod, with a forced smile.
"Yes, definitely do that," Emma said before looking down at her food. "We'll all have to get together a time or two before you guys leave." Emma's own words seemed to freak her out and I thought about saying something, but I knew it would be better to talk to her without Ashton or Luke being present. "Goodness... it's crazy that you guys will actually be leaving."
"I know," Luke muttered through a sigh. The four of us went back to silence and it wasn't nearly as comfortable or enjoyable this time around. We all finished our food at roughly the same time and the boys decided that they would be late to meeting the boys if they didn't hurry. Ashton and Emma embraced, kissing a couple of times before seeming content with saying goodbye. "Imagine that being us... I wish it were." I looked up at Luke as he whispered and I sighed quietly before wrapping my arms around him. Of course, I wished the same, but it wasn't that simple.
"I'll see you later, okay?" Luke nodded at my whisper and I sighed quietly before pulling away completely. I walked over to Ashton and gave him a hug as well, just to even things out. While it was clear the boys had their assumptions about Luke and myself, I was doing my best to clear the air of suspicion. Ashton hugged me back just before the boys made their way out of the room, saying goodbye one last time.
Emma and I still had about thirty minutes until our next meeting, so I closed the door behind the boys and looked back at Emma before getting down to business.
"What's going on?" I asked Emma, which seemed to catch her off guard. "If something isn't going right with Ashton, I hope you know you can tell me. I'm here for you, Em. First, it was dinner on Friday... then I saw the same discomfort today. What is it?"
"Josie..." Emma started to nervously laugh, which only supported my suspicions. "Nothing is wrong. I've just been... sad, I guess."
"Emma, you're a lousy liar—there's no reason to try and become a good one now."
"Jo, things are fine." Emma rolled her chair, that Luke had been using, back to her desk and was clearly refusing to make eye contact with me.
"Emma... please? I'm not blind, I can see that something's wrong." Emma looked up at me and I could sense her nervous energy. She gently bit her lip and I could feel that she was close to telling me the truth.
"It's really not a huge deal, you shouldn't worry about me."
"Emma!" I exclaimed, unable to believe she'd basically admit that something was wrong but that I shouldn't worry about her. Of course, I was going to worry about her, it was my job as her friend.
"Okay, look—I don't want to talk about it because I'm scared I'm going to manifest something. Talking about it makes it so real, but also! I'm easily just thinking too much and being too quick to judge—"
"Emma, please stop stalling. You realize I'll do anything in my power to help you with whatever it is, or support you however I can, right?" Emma let out a big sigh before covering her eyes, something she often did when she was stressed or worried. I walked up to her desk and sat on the edge as I placed my hand on her knee. "C'mon, Em." She peeked at me through her fingers and I could tell she was on the verge of tears.
"My period's late, Jo. We don't know what to fucking do."
a/n:
hehe oops
ummmmm calsfeelings literally guessed this ??? and i was like !!!!!!! how is that there is always at least one of u that knows what i'm up to at all times !!!! even when i think i'm being sneaky !!!!!!!!!
how r we feeling ab this
never have i ever toyed w/ the idea of pregnancy in a fanfic before
a lot of ppl thought amie was pregnant in msb and ever since, i've been like ......... omg what if i had actually made that happen (it wouldn't have been luke's kid obvi!!!)
but anyway .... how r we feeling
this doesn't necessarily mean anything !!! but it could also mean everything !!! that's the beauty of it
mwahahaha
ok this was a pretty shortish chapter ??? kind of ?? but also kind of not ?? i dunno !! but i should be able to update again soon ;)))
i love u all !! thank u so much for reading !! :)
<333
jill