Skipping S8 E10: Torn And Frayed
Dark Keir's Outfit
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My main phone rang, I grabbed it and looked at the name, Sam... I groaned then rolled my head, before answering it.
I said" Siren speaking, what do you want, Sam?"
Dean said" Not Sam."
" Oh, hell no!" I went to hang up,
Sam said" Wait, wait, wait, don't hang up yet."
" What?!"
" Can you just consider coming back?"
" No. I don't think either of you would like who I am."
" Keir, come on."
" What, Sammy? You've been called a monster by Dean too, and it hurt you a lot. Thing is, I really am a monster. Why would I want to ride around in a stupid car half the time with two hunters?"
" You're a hunter too, Key."
" I kill vamps and ghouls."
" You're a hunter and we're your brothers, your only brothers, who'd really like to have their little brother back."
" I hate you."
" Yeah, I know. Would it help if I say we found Charlie?"
" Totally helped. Tell Dean to pull over, and before he says anything, yes, I know you're driving. And shut up." I heard the car pull over, I grabbed my bags and water-ported to them.
I glared at them as I appeared, my eyes glowing,
Sam said" Hey, Key."
I said" This better be good."
" A guy had his limbs torn off, and another guy combusted."
" Interesting."
" Common part, they were from this thing called Moondoor, and that's where we're headed. They also had this weird tree tattoo, seen anything like it?" He showed me the tattoo, I looked at it,
" Nope, you?"
" Nope."
Dean said" What the hell are you wearing?"
I said" None of your business."
" You still pissed at me?"
" I'm always pissed at you, Dean, there's just good days."
" Good to know."
" I like the shirt, all right? It's loose, so it doesn't hurt my skin, and layers make me sweat."
——
We got to the place, I looked at my brothers, raising my eyebrow, Sam gave me the calm down look as I sent a glare to him.
Dean said" Excuse me. Hi. Uh, you are a larper, yeah?"
The guy said" I prefer the term interactive literaturist."
" Right. Uh, I am special agent Rosewood. This is special agent Taggart." I shook my head,
" Hold! Um, guys, we're not doing the whole genre-mashup thing this weekend. We only do that every third month."
Sam said" Come again?"
" Your fake badges, the cheap suits. It's very cool. I get it. Your characters are FBI agents that somehow traveled to Moondoor, but I'm telling you it's straight-up Moondoor this weekend."
" These aren't fake badges."
" Uh, yeah, they are, and they're very good, but, um, well, the ID number shifted to 10 digits with two letters mixed in at the end of the year, and, uh, the seal's from last month. Really good work. It's just it's a tournament weekend, okay, guys? So you got to follow the rules. If there's no rules- chaos. Resume. If you would like to join the army of the moons, the queen is always on the lookout for new squires." I covered Dean's mouth then Sam's,
I compelled" Where's the queen?"
" On the pitch, seeing to new squires."
" Go away." He turned, walking away, I turned to my brothers, smirking, I moved the water from their lips.
Dean said" You could've done that the entire time, huh?"
I said" You idiots were the ones to bring fake badges to a nerd site, so who's the smart one here?" I walked away from them, they followed behind me.
We got to Charlie, she walked into her tent, we followed but Dean stopped, Sam and I turned to him. He was holding a fake sword,
Sam said" Dude."
Dean said" Yeah." We walked into the tent to see Charlie packing,
" Charlie."
She said" Charlie Bradbury is dead. She died a year ago. You killed her. My name is Carrie Heinlein. Oh, and guess what. Now you killed her, too."
Dean said" Okay, listen."
" No, I buried myself. Then Dick Roman went down, his company belly up, and I figured, Hey, it's all good. And I was fine. I got my life back. Now, you're here and if you guys are here, monsters are here. Why do I have such bad luck? What am I- some kind of monster magnet?" She froze then turned to us," Is there such a thing as a monster magnet? You know what? Don't answer that. I don't care. What I care about is not getting my other arm broken... or dying. So, I'm dropping my sword and walking off the stage, bitches." She put a crown on Dean's head," Have fun storming the castle."
" Charlie. Charlie!" She stopped walking," Greyfox and Thargrim- uh, Ed and Lance- they're not missing. They're dead."
They explained the deaths,
Charlie said" Drawn and quartered and bleeding out? Please stop talking again. So what do you think did this?"
Dean said" Well, aside from the mark and them both being LARPers, there's really not much else to go on."
" Wait, I've seen this before. It's a celtic magic symbol. At least it was in my favorite video game. Does that help? Can I go now?"
Sam said" It's a start, but no. Um, listen. What can you tell us about Ed and Lance?"
" Good guys. Two of the best members of the queen's ever-shrinking army."
I said" Ever-shrinking?"
" My kingdom has had a lot of bad luck lately, probably 'cause of me, but maybe it's tied to this. A month ago, one of my guys had both her ankles broken before battle. Before that, I had three people have hospital-worthy accidents while at home. You think there's any connection there?"
Sam said" They have any enemies in common?"
" In real life? No. Everyone gets along famously. In the game, though, they had tons of enemies." We followed her to a battle sheet," Red reps the followers of the moon- my peeps. Green's for elves, blue's for warriors of yesteryear, and black's for shadow orcs- total d-bags. This weekend is the battle of the kingdoms to see who wears the forever crown. This weekend, each faction is definitely an enemy of me and mine."
Dean said" You know if you, uh... move your archers back and your broadswordsmen to the west..."
" Huh. Like the warriors."
" Yep."
" Hey, good call."
" Thanks."
" What about the southern wall?"
Sam and I said" Guys."
Dean said" Yeah? Right. Sorry."
Sam said" So maybe someone from one of the other kingdoms got ahold of real magic and started using it to weaken your army."
Charlie said" But why not just come after me? And why the escalation?"
Dean said" All right, we will canvass the kingdoms. You should get out of here. We don't want you to get hurt."
Sam said" Whoa, wait. Charlie knows Moondoor a lot better than we do. We need her."
" Sam, I think we can take care of a bunch of accountants with foam swords."
" We need all the help we can get,
Dean. People are dying."
" My point, which is usually yours, is that she should get somewhere safe and get back to a normal life."
Charlie said" Hey, I am right here, and I want to leave."
" Thank you."
" But the queen... she has to stay. I mean, Sam is right. People are dying. That can't happen on my watch. And you know what? I am tired of running. I like my life here. I'm gonna stay and fight for it." Sam's phone rang,
He said" Yeah. Okay. Thanks. So, the toxicology report came back on Lance. Nothing. But the medical examiner said his body showed clear signs that he was killed by Belladonna."
Dean, Charlie and I said" The porn star?"
" The poison."
" Oh."
" Um, however, they couldn't find a trace of it in his system."
Dean said" Just like they couldn't find ropes in Ed's apartment."
" Charlie, I'm gonna need to borrow your laptop."
Charlie said" There are no laptops in Moondoor. What? There are rules. But there us a tech tent four tents down."
" Okay. How about you guys go canvass, and I'll go dig into these accidents and this mark?" Sam walked away,
" Okay. I'm gonna need the full wiki on where you guys have been. But first, you're gonna have to ditch the suit if you're gonna walk and talk with the queen."
Charlie said" You sent Sam a phantom text from his ex? Dick move, sir."
Dean said" Yeah, not my finest hour." I scoffed,
" So he found some normalcy with this chick, and now it's gone... again. Thanks to you."
" Yeah, well, now he's more committed than ever, so there's that. But, trust me, this life- you can't afford attachments. You just got to... let go."
" Are we still talking about Sam, or did you break up with someone, too?"
" Me?"
" Yeah."
" No."
" Keir?"
I said" You know, I could have easily compelled you to leave... which I can still do, Charlie."
" Not bringing you into this."
" Thank you." I smirked,
" Hey, you've got something..." She pointed to her neck, I water-ported to the mirror and saw the veins climbing again.
" Go ahead, I'll catch up." They walked out, Dean stopped, He looked at me then to the veins, then walked out. I covered them with my hand, and soaked the skin with water. They disappeared, I gulped, just gotta keep this under control and everything will be great.
I water-ported to them,
Dean said" If it wasn't for you, we would never been able to take down Dick Roman. Out there in the real world, you are a hero. I'm noticing a lot of these maidens checking you out."
Charlie said" What? I can't shut this down. It's good to be queen." She walked away from us, I scoffed, smiling, then followed her.
We showed the photo to a girl,
The girl said" I haven't seen anything like it in my travels throughout the realms, your highness."
Charlie said" All right. Well, if you think of anything, come see me in my tent. Anytime." The girl winked, Charlie smiled, girl walked away, Dean and I looked at her." Scratch the elves off the lists." We started walking again," The shadow orcs. Last group on the list, impossible to find."
Dean said" Wait, I know where I can find one. I met him on the way in."
" Perfect. Maybe he can tell us what the frack this thing is."
We walked up to the orc,
He said" Death to the queen! Death to the usurper! Death to her manservants!" Dean hit the top of the thingy,
Dean said" What? Well, there's no laptops in Moondoor. There's no geneva convention, either. Hey. Seen this?"
" Yeah, of course. No. No, I haven't seen it." Dean put the fake sword to the orc's neck," Okay, it's the shadow king's family crest. You'll never find him in the black hills."
" Black hills?"
Charlie said" The forest behind the playground. Come on." We walked away,
I said" Creepy dudes dressed up creepily behind a kid's playground, that must go fantastically."
" Better than you'd think."
" Not reassuring, Charlie... nope, not at all."
We were walking down a trail,
The first guy we met said" My Queen. There you are. I've been searching everywhere for you. Has this... oaf attempted to harm you with his blasphemous metalworks?"
Charlie said" Boltar, he's with me. This is my new... handmaiden. We seek an audience with the shadow king."
" Uh, these hills are not safe. I beseech you, my queen, you should return to camp."
Dean said" He's right... your worshipfulness. Uh, may I have a moment before you take your leavings?" We turned away from the guy, walking a little," Handmaiden?"
Charlie said" He was suspicious. I panicked."
" All right, look. You take my phone. Find Sam. We'll find the shadow dorks."
" But I can help."
" Yeah, you are helping by finding Sam. Go. Key, with her." I rolled my eyes, then followed Charlie, groaning silently.
I could feel someone following us, then saw a cloaked figure behind us, we moved more. Then an ork was in front of us, Charlie dodged the beanbag, and threw her own.
She said" Dark magic!"
The ork said" Ohh! My eyes! The stinging of your attack burns my very soul!" He ran away, we turned around and was face to face with a person in a buck skull. Charlie threw a beanbag at us,
" Dark magic?" I raised water, pushing it to the thing, the water hit me hard, I hit the tree. I coughed then slid down the tree,
I mumbled" Shit... Charlie!" Then everything turned black...
I woke up to someone slapping my face, I groaned,
Dean said" Hey! What happened?"
I said" Uh... stag skull thingy... whammed by my own water. I think I dislocated everything..."
" Let's get him up." My arms were grabbed, I was pulled to my feet, I hissed in pain.
Sam said" One... two..." He snapped my shoulder in place, I withheld the siren shift and groaned.
I said" What happened to three?"
" You always freak out."
" Very true. Where's Charlie?"
" We're trying to figure that out."
" Okay."
They met with the orc guys, and Dean pulled out a gun,
Dean said" What?! What?!"
The orc guy said" Is the queen really in danger?" Dean nodded," Okay, look, I-I noticed something odd down by the creek. It's this weird tent. It's not one of ours. It's kind of creepy."
Sam said" Why are you being so helpful all of a sudden?"
" Look, I harbor an epic crush on the queen. Maybe you could put in a good word for me when you find her."
Dean said" I don't think you're her type?" They started walking away from him,
" What? You mean she's not into orcs?"
I said" Dude, she's not into dudes." I laughed, then ran to catch up to my brothers.
Dean said" Why don't you take off, Bolty? We got it from here."
Bolty said" A handmaiden and a time traveler rescue the queen? I think not, kind lady."
Sam said" Look, this isnt a game, Boltar. The queen, our friend, is in real danger. You could get hurt."
" I will not leave my queen in peril. Look there."
Dean said" We haven't checked that tent."
We walked into the tent, and saw Charlie making out with a woman, Dean cleared his throat.
Charlie said" Dudes. If the tent is rockin', don't come a-knockin'."
The woman said" No, it's him! My master! Run!" We turned to Bolty, Dean and Sam pulled out their guns, I tilted my head.
Bolty said" No guns in Moondoor, gentlemen. Gilda, if you please." She turned the guns into feathers,
Dean said" Well, now what, Gerry?"
" My name is Boltar the furious! My plan was, after getting rid of all of my competition, to win the battle tomorrow, convincing the queen that I should be her king. But then you three idiots showed up, and I was forced to improvise. Rescue the damsel in distress from orcs, become king, kill you both- that'll work, too."
Sam said" So why did you go from hobbling to murder?"
" Greyfox and Thargrim became part of the honor guard, they got close to the queen, but they did it by breaking the rules- paying off other players with real money, rather than moodoor currency. They were cheating."
Dean said" Oh, and using magic isn't?"
" Magic is a part of moondoor."
Charlie said" What is your problem? Why would you hurt people? This is just a game."
" There is no game! There is only Moondoor! I came here to be different, to get away from my crappy life, to be a hero, and guess what."
Dean said" What, you were a loser in the real world, and you're a loser here? Shocker."
" Would a loser track down a real book of spells and compel a fairy to do his bidding?"
I said" It depends. How'd you get it?"
" Ebay."
Sam said" Look. It doesn't have to be like this, Boltar. Just hand over the book of spells. We can work this out."
" This will all work out... after I remove you from the playing field and wipe her memory. Gilda?" The fake sword turned real," Gilda, the big one." Charlie took a swing, I pulled her back as the fake sword broke,
Gilda said" I can't stop him. The book- you must destroy it." Dean decked Gerry, and the book fell from his waistband, haha. Charlie got to the book,
She said" Hey, Gerry. I'm the one who saves damsels in distress around here." She stabbed the book, destroying it, then Dean elbowed his face, knocking him out." Are you okay?"
" I'm free of the spell. You saved me. The Hollow forest is forever in your debt. I must return to those green hills now. I will take my former master with me. He must face a fairy tribunal for this sins."
" Wait." Charlie kissed her, then she disappeared," Call me, maybe."
——
Sam said" So, what's next for you, Charlie? New town? New identity?"
Charlie said" If the last 24 hours have taught me anything, it's that escaping isn't what it used to be. No more replacement characters for me. I got to face reality from now on. Sadly, reality actually includes monsters, but what are you gonna do? If I can ever be of help to you guys, let me know."
Dean said" Will do. And you, uh... you're good?"
" Apart from the fact that you blocked me from banging a fairy, and I'm about to go lose my crown in battle, thanks to my army being decimated? Yeah. Totally good." She walked away from us, turning to us," Smell you later, bitches." She walked away from us,
" So, what's, uh... what's next? 'Cause no fun, right? Look, before you say anything, I-I-I get it. No amount of fun is gonna help you get over what you gave up. You just, uh... you need time, right?"
Sam said" Yeah. Thanks... and you're right. Having fun won't help me. It'll help us. Shall we?" Dean did a half smile then nodded,
I said" No... no, no."
" Come on, Key."
" No way!"
" You can slightly use your powers, slips, no more."
" Okay, I'm in."
We were on the battlefield,
Dean said" And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing fo trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chance-"
Charlie said" Is that the speak from-"
Sam said" It's the only one he knows."
I said" And Dean is unoriginal, obviously."
Dean said" Just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they will never take..."
A guy said" Hold!" A guy ran up to grab a frisbee,
" Our freedom!" We ran in the direction of the other kingdom, I was laughing way too much.