I knew that ultimately I wouldn't be able to simply go on break for Christmas, before completing the first literature assignment.
It was fine, of course, just a four-thousand essay on the poems of Carol Ann Duffy. I was tasked with having to critique them, and highlight how the uses of literary devices had made the texts more meaningful. It was a standard literature assignment, but I had been so distracted lately by other things that my productivity was somewhat lower than usual.
Every time I looked at the red leaves lying on the campus grounds, my mind flickered to Lily, for a moment.
She hadn't spoken to me in several days, and although I was trying not to be too worried about it, I couldn't deny that my stomach did turn in slight nervousness.
I was just trying to make sure that I didn't worry myself too much about it.
In my first day of writing the assignment, I managed to get about five-hundred words completed, which was fairly good, all things considered, and factoring in the matter of me being entirely too distracted lately.
Could you blame me, though?
Thoughts of Lily kissing me were still flooding around my mind.
I was fortunately able to take my mind off that for a minute or two, though, because it was my father's birthday, and my family were going to be visiting the campus soon.
Surely enough, I soon heard my phone began to buzz away, and just after throwing my hair up into a messy ponytail, I wandered out of my room and down the hall, opening the main entrance door to see them all there.
My mother, dad, and Violet, who quickly gathered me into a hug.
"Hey!" she said, with excitement evident in her voice, as she drew away for a moment, "How have you been doing? Have you been eating properly?" she asked me, then.
Steven released a chuckle, and I quickly turned to him then, to gather him into a hug.
"Dad! Happy birthday!" I told him.
"Thank you, Selina," he replied, with an appreciative grin upon his face, as his cheeks reddened slightly. I knew that my dad tended to dread his birthdays, particularly as he approached sixty, but I always reminded him that birthdays had perks!
For example, carrot cake, one of the best perks, obviously.
Although, my sister would disagree with me there. She didn't believe that vegetables should go into cakes, at all.
"Hi honey," Jacqueline said, then, and I moved forward to hug her, too.
"Hey mum!" I said, with a sweet smile.
My mother looked wonderful.
I mean, she always did, but she looked particularly amazing today.
It was good to observe that her mental health seemed to be a little better.
It was nice to see all of them again. It made my heart feel a little lighter.
I had to admit that after my kiss with Lily, gravity almost felt heavier.
My mind felt packed to the brim with questions and considerations, and I wasn't even sure where to start.
However, at the same time, I felt the world become oddly brighter, too.
This was only in a hypothetical sense, of course, for outside the silver and grey clouds were darkening the winter sky.
I was too distracted to return back to my seasonal depression, though. My mind was so occupied that I really didn't feel all that sad recently.
I did have to wonder about the Lily, thing, though.
There was this part of that thought that maybe Lily's previous dislike of me was a disguise for how she truly felt.
She had also made me realise something about myself, though, too, and that something was that I most definitely liked girls.
God...I really needed to focus on my university course, but that was going to be slightly more difficult to achieve when my mind kept bringing up images of Lily.
"Mum, dad, feel free to go and sit in the kitchen, throw the television on. I'll be with you, soon," I stated.
They walked away, and Violet turned to me then.
"Can we do dad's birthday cake, pretty please?" she asked me.
I smirked in subtle amusement.
"Of course," I said, and we headed into the kitchen with them, where I had previously sorted out the carrot cake (my father's favourite), to serve to him.
Well, I said carrot cake, but I had also put a hell of a lot of cinnamon and sugar in it, too, just so that Violet could be convinced to eat it.
I just hoped that it wasn't a total fiasco.
"Dad, can you close your eyes a minute?" I asked him, then, and he did so.
Violet lit the candle at the top of the cake, and we then told him to open his eyes after singing one verse of happy birthday.
I didn't want to torture my father too much with my tone death singing.
Violet, on the other hand, was an amazing singer. She just didn't seem to be all that confident in her own talents.
Oh well, we couldn't all be vocally gifted, and that was the reason behind me sticking to art and writing.
My father blew out the candle atop the cake, and then smiled.
"Thank you, girls," he stated, "I am ever so proud of all of you. Particularly you, Selina, of course, but Violet has news, too."
I turned to Violet then, with a look of interest.
"Can I tell her?" she asked me.
"Go right ahead," Steven replied.
"I got accepted into this university, too!" she informed me, "To study geography."
I beamed at her, quickly throwing my arms around her to hug her.
"That's amazing, Violet!" I said in a supportive tone.
"Thank you!" she replied, "Now, I need to talk to you for a minute," she informed me.
The two of us headed out of the kitchen for a couple of minutes.
"I have the feeling that something is on your mind," she stated.
Well, my sister was often wise like that, when she wanted to be. So, that didn't take me by much surprise.
"However, I'm not going to poke you for answers right now. I just want you to know that you can talk to me, you know. Whenever you're ready," she said.
"Thanks, Violet," I replied.
"Always. You know I have your back," Violet said.
I knew that I could always rely on my sister to be there for me, and that made me smile.
No matter what the two of us went through, we would always be there for each other.
"Likewise. Anyway..." I started to say, as Lily entered the dormitory hall, and looked between Violet and I for a moment, with interest evident in her eyes.
"Yes?" Violet asked, glancing at Lily for a fleeting second.
"You should go and chill with our parents for a moment, okay? I'll be with you all soon," I stated.
"Alright," Violet agreed, and wandered back into the kitchen.
Lily looked towards me then, with a half-smile.
"Your sister?" she asked me.
"She would be the one," I replied.
Lily nodded.
"Look, I know we haven't spoken much since the, well, you know," I stated, then, feeling my cheeks blush again.
Lily raised an eyebrow at me.
"Oh, I remember," she replied.
"Well, I just wanted to let you know that I know things were difficult between you and Zara, and I don't want to force you to make any hasty decision-"
"Don't bring up Zara, okay? She really broke my trust and hurt me," Lily stated then, with annoyance apparent as she said it.
I instantly felt a little guilty at that.
"Just forget the kiss, Selina. It meant nothing," she said, and wandered right into her dorm room, then, leaving me stood out in the hall, debating everything once again.
Maybe I had just been gullible. Was it foolish to have thought for a second that Lily could ever like me?
Well, I didn't want to believe that, but it did hurt.
I decided that the best way to take my mind off matters was to go and spend some more time with my family.
They mattered more to me than university drama, which I honestly hadn't even believed existed before I got here.
I wandered back into the kitchen and perfected a smile upon my face, as I went to speak with all of them again, feeling considerably better for doing so.